Guy looking for advice...

[thekid98]

Hey ladies! I'm a guy planning on proposing to my gf of 4 years. Here's what I know about my gf's preferences: 1) Everything she currently owns is in silver/white gold metal. 2) She likes colored gemstones. 3. She's never owned any real fine jewelry. Also, she's said in conversation "I don't need a diamond", "I'm not that into diamonds", "I really like sapphires", and that she would probably not wear her engagement ring together with her wedding band once actually married- she doesn't want them soldered together; she'd wear the e-ring on her right hand then. That tells me I needn't worry about whether the e-ring would fit well with a wedding band, etc.

I've found a setting I think is nice, and found a jeweler who will set it with a top quality sapphire, and Canadian diamonds (a must). I could get it set in yellow gold, white gold, or platinum. The jeweller thought a sapphire of 6x4 or 7x5mm was best (~1ct)- any bigger would be too gaudy for a 32yo woman in her opinion, and about 0.30-0.5ctw round brilliant cut diamonds. I am inclined to go with white gold or platinum, given the color of her current jewelry. Here's a link to a ring that pretty much looks like what I've found... http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/...ing?ID=146489&CategoryID=21176&LinkType=PDPZ1
Here's a couple of other views of the same style, but with a better sapphire... http://pinterest.com/thekid98/things/

What do you think? Is this a good choice? Can this be an engagement ring? What about the metal? What about size of the center stone? What would you think if you saw a woman with a ring like this on her left hand?

Any and all opinions are much appreciated!

 

[LibbyLA]

You probably ought to use the "Report concern" button to ask the moderators to move this to Rocky Talky, where you will get lots more replies. There are some people who have a great talent for finding diamonds and settings. Or, since you are looking for a sapphire, maybe the colored stone forum would be a better place.

 

[audball]

I agree you'll get more traffic in RockyTalky for help.

But I'll share my thoughts with you. First of all, congrats on deciding to propose! I'm so glad to hear/see when a guy is thinking about what SHE will like. Kudos to you. It sounds like, based on what you said, that she wants a sapphire engagement ring and not a diamond. We have lots of ladies here who do so that's not that unusual!

White gold or platinum for sure. Don't get her yellow gold if she wears white metal normally. Definitely the right choice. As to whether to get white gold or platinum, well that's personal preference. White gold tends to be a little more affordable but it's really a look preference. Platinum tends to gray with time and develop a patina. You either love it or hate it. I personally prefer white gold, but what does SHE prefer? White gold is usually a safe choice if most of her pieces are gold or silver.

That setting style is a popular choice and is very Kate Middleton in design. I'm not sure where you're buying from but I caution you to do your research on the jeweler you selected. Settings like that require top notch workmanship in order to ensure that the small stones don't fall out or always cause problems down the line. There is a thread or two right now over in RockyTalky where people are having issues with settings that aren't of good quality.

As for your jeweler's opinion, I highly disagree. A larger stone would most certainly not look gaudy. That was a very rude thing to say. I've seen lots of large gemstone rings here and they are gorgeous! But what's most important is your budget and getting a quality stone that doesn't have a window or obstruction that makes it appear dark.

Overall I think your idea sounds like a good one for what her preferences were. I think your best bet is to steer clear of the local jeweler though and research some of the vendors we have here who specialize in colored stones and quality settings that are backed with good policies to protect your investment. It most certainly can be an engagement ring. White gold or Platinum for the metal, and the biggest best quality stone your budget will allow. And it doesn't have to be oval, there are many lovely shapes for colored stones including round!

If I saw a woman wearing a ring like this I would assume she was engaged/married.

Hope this helps...we have a few posters who have sapphire engagement rings and I hope they chime in! RebeccaMUA, maebelle, etc...

 

[marymm]

A veteran PSer had a similar style ring created for her but with a ruby center stone - she purchased the ruby separately and then had trusted PS vendor ID Jewelry (http://idjewelryonline.com/index.php customize one of their standard settings to her preferences - here's two threads she posted about her ring:

1. with pics of completed ring - https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-ruby-is-now-on-my-finger.177985/
2. discussing setting options - https://www.pricescope.com/forum/colored-stones/setting-for-my-ruby-t175202-30.html

OP - I echo others' suggestions that you request the Moderators to move this entire thread to the Colored Stone forum - I am picking that forum over Rocky Talky as your center stone is to be a blue sapphire and the Colored Stone forumites will have a lot of great information for you about selecting the best sapphire for your budget and your color/shape/treatment preferences. [To contact the Moderators, just hi "report concern" on your post and type in your request.]

For the best ring possible, I would suggest you find your sapphire yourself - since you want an oval sapphire, I think it will not be too difficult for you to find a gorgeous sapphire within your budget from one of the trusted PS colored stone vendors (there is a pinned thread in the Colored Stone section that lists out recommended vendors). Size-wise, unless your GF has very small fingers, I think you could safely go larger than a 7x5mm center stone, especially if she will likely move the engagement ring to her other hand after the wedding.

And then, if the ID Jewelry ring setting I posted is close to what you're thinking of, I'd suggest going with them for the ring - if you do contact them, let them know you are a PS member looking for something along the lines of the ruby & diamond ring they recently made for another PSer...

 

[Rhea]

Is there any chance that she's telling you that she doesn't want a diamond because she thinks diamonds are most expensive than sapphires? I'm asking because I said the same thing for that very reason when we were looking to get engaged. If that's a possibility, please be aware that sapphires, good quality unheated ones in the sought after royal blue, can be more expensive than diamonds.

 

[Schafenm]

Ditto to moving it to the colored stones forum.

IMO, which is just my opinin because you know your SO other best, I would not like that setting. It would always remind me of Princess Diana's/Kate Middleton's engagement ring. It would not remind me of my own original ring. If that doesn't bother your SO then please disregard what I said.

It is a beautiful ring, it is just too highly associated with someone else for my taste. I also agree with Audball, if your budget allows it a +1 carat stone will not look gaudy.

Good luck and let us know what you decide!!!

 

[JulieN]

Colored Stones forum is the place for you. Check it out, you will get lots of ideas.

 

[thekid98]

Thanks to everyone for responding. I'm putting in a request to move the thread to Colored-Stones as soon as I finish here... I'm also looking into some of the vendors listed in the sticky in Colored-Stones. I do kind of like the idea of picking a stone separately. I feel like the local jeweler was trying to steer me toward the stones they have in stock, though they were also willing to order me a stone from Palagems (in the sticky), or another vendor. I also think I have a bit more learning to do, regarding what I should be looking for in a quality stone.

Rhea, that is exactly what I thought at first. We had a little conversation about rings, etc. a couple of weeks ago, and that was when she told me that she'd probably not wear the two rings together, and that she really liked the idea of a colored stone. She has a friend with a sapphire, and she really liked her friend's ring, etc. Barring any new intel, I guess I'm inclined to just take her at her word and start looking for sapphires.

Schafenm, you mentioned something I'm really concerned about, and it is exactly why I initially asked "what would you think if you saw a woman with this style ring on her left hand". I guess I was wondering what would be the likely reactions of her friends/co-workers. Would they compliment her on her nice engagement ring, or would they tell her what a nice replica/novelty ring she has (or worse, think it was fake); would they even recognize it as an engagement ring? To be honest, I became interested in this setting style (flower/halo) with the oval sapphire, because it has a prominent sapphire framed by diamonds, and it reminded me of a flower (she's a major flower girl), and I only found out that Diana/Kate Middleton had a similar style after showing it to my mother. I don't think my gf is into celebrity stuff enough to care, but her friends might. If a few people mentioned to her that it reminded them of Princess Diana's ring, I don't think she'd mind that (might even get a little kick out of it), but if lots of girls told her that, she might come to resent it, and feel like she got a novelty ring or something. That's actually a big reason for me reaching out to find out what other women would think if I got her this kind of ring. I don't want to work this hard to put together the perfect ring and then have her feel like she got a celebrity knock-off. That said, it was a popular style especially in Europe long before Kate Middleton or Diana came along, and will probably continue to be a classic style for years to come. This engagement ring thing is harder than I thought...

 

[princesss]

It really is a very classic style, and I think that in the next year or two people will stop thinking about it so much and she'll be left with a lovely ring.

Also, check out Lost Sapphire's ring - it's a round and looks more like a flower than it looks like the Duchess of Cambridge's ring.

 

[Rhea]

Rhea, that is exactly what I thought at first. We had a little conversation about rings, etc. a couple of weeks ago, and that was when she told me that she'd probably not wear the two rings together, and that she really liked the idea of a colored stone. She has a friend with a sapphire, and she really liked her friend's ring, etc. Barring any new intel, I guess I'm inclined to just take her at her word and start looking for sapphires.

That said, it was a popular style especially in Europe long before Kate Middleton or Diana came along, and will probably continue to be a classic style for years to come. This engagement ring thing is harder than I thought...

Oh, yay! I'm glad that's cleared up. When we were looking I went through a lot of ideas trying to maximize the budget or come in under budget. Sounds like she's just a woman who knows what she wants!

I live in England and frequently see Victorian rings like this as well as rings on people in their 70's and older. It's a style that's been around for ages! Check out LoganSapphire's though for a different take on the sapphire with diamond halo.

 

[chrono]

Welcome to the CS section and congrats on the upcoming proposal. I am delighted to read about a couple who are into coloured gemstones.

I would opt for white metal, be it white gold or platinum because she seems to show a strong preference for it based on what she currently owns and wears. First and foremost, shop for the stone first. If not, you are adding another huge element of difficulty by trying to find a stone must also be a specific shape and size. It is far easier to fit the setting around the stone, rather than fit the stone around the setting.

6 x 4 mm is a bit smallish and you might want to consider upping the size a little. There is no limit or rule that says an engagement ring stone has to be 1 carat. It's all about how comfortable one feels wearing a specific size and personal budget limitation. I don't think it will be gaudy at all and many CSers sport 2 to 5 carat stones regularly.

B&M stores tend to have a limited selection and by pushing you to order from their stock helps move their current inventory. Pricing also is usually higher than online vendors. On the positive side, you get to see the stone up close and handle it, limiting your having to ship stones back and those pesky costs.

 

[movie zombie]

welcome to color stones and this forum! many of us have color stone e-rings!

since you've had a very frank talk and gotten specific info, why not take her window shopping? have her try on a bunch of things. go to different stores. allow her to play a bit and the two of you can talk about what looks good on her and what works in her mind's eye.

doesn't mean you buy, just window shop.

you can still surprise her later with a ring if that's what you want to do.

i like her practicality. i like that she wants an e-ring but is honest that she's going to wear a wedding band and move the e-ring to her right hand. i like that she's upfront about it all. and i really like that your mind is open to it.

 

[minousbijoux]

Congratulations and welcome - I hope this is a fun project for you both to undertake.

I too agree that a one carat stone would be smallish and completely disagree with the statement that anything over 1 carat would be gaudy. Keep in mind that it also depends on her hand and finger size. If she is very petite, then you may think a smaller stone is more important. Good luck and we'd love to help!

 

[kgizo]

I agree with the suggestions above. I'd add, take a good look at the prongs as they can chage the look of similar settings. For example, the Macy's prongs look big and clunky, and seem to overwhelm the accent diamonds. Once you get the right stone it is easier to find a setting with accent stones that look appropriate proportionately.