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Guys, I really need some support . . .

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I''m sorry Irish
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Doggies really are the best, and most loyal, friends. Nothing I say will make it better but just know that you''ve given your pup an amazing life, and he loves you for it. Continue loving (and caring for) him as you do, and when his time comes, as long as you''re there with him, he''ll be happy. Really it''s us that suffer through the loss, not our pups.

(((BIG HUGS))) sweetheart...
 
Most welcome dear, many of us know how you feel.
 
Oh honey!!!! My heart is breaking for you! I know your pain and its no easy road. He''s been with you through thick and thin through the last 8 years, and I imagine, has been your support system through the tough times when no one else was there......Super big hug! Stay strong - I''m thinking of you and Caesar.
 
I''m so sorry IG. I am pretty sure I said this in your other thread, but I''ll just say it again in case it helps to keep hearing it - I know that Caesar will let you know when his time has come. And when he does, the best and kindest gift you can give him is a peaceful and painless and dignified passing surrounded by those he loves and has trusted all his life.

This is so tough and my heart just breaks for what you are going through - I''ll be sending thoughts and prayers your way and Caesar''s at this tough time.
 
Irishgrrrl-- I''m so sorry you are going through this. It is incredibly difficult to see a pet suffer. I love my dog and have been through so much with her. Although she is only 5, the thought of her getting older breaks my heart and it has been know to bring me to tears and she is ONLY 5! I once read a book, I think it was "The Dogs of Babel" or it might have been another one but in it, the author talked about a "lifetime pet". A lifetime pet is one that you''ve had a closer connection with than any other animal and once you''ve had that, you will most likely never find it again with another. He talked about how usually you don''t know you''ve had a once in a lifetime pet until after they are gone. I really feel that way about my Maisie (mini-longhaired dachshund). I believe she is my lifetime pet. I don''t think I''ll ever love another animal as much as I love her and if I was losing her I''d be inconsolable. I always say that she has to live forever because I don''t know that I could live without her. When she was only a puppy, I was leaving for the grocery store to pick just a few things up and she ran to the door and gave me that "I wanna go!" look that I am just a sucker for, so I took her with me....who takes a dog to the grocery store? While I was gone, for only about 20 minutes, there was a fire and my entire apartment was gone. We never got to go back in. I lost my cat and my roommates dog. The only reason Maisie is still with me is because I gave in to that "I wanna go!" look. Since then, our bond that only grown. Whenever I''m home she is attached to my hip. I really believe something special happened that day so that we''d still have each other.

The point of my rant though is that I believe the pets we have are for a reason. Their sole purpose is to love us and to comfort us when we need it. They help us get through horrible and wonderful moments in our lives and to make them more memorable. Once their mission is filled or they''ve done all they can, they move on but they never leave our hearts and we''ll carry them there for the rest of our lives. My Maisie has inspired me to love more and unconditionally like she does. She has taught me that nothing is better than a belly rub and all things can be remedied by a quick game of fetch. She has brought so much to my life in the short 5 years she''s been with me so I can only imagine what Caesar has brought you. Just spend this time loving him and remembering the great times. Cuddle with him...as so many Danes love to do! Spend as much time with him as you can and make sure he is as comfortable as can be. He loves you and you will always love him. And when he does go, just know that he''ll always be with you, even if he isn''t there in person (or dog I guess). He won''t fault you for crying, he''ll always love you unconditionally no matter what...that''s what dogs are for. And remember, all dogs go to heaven so you''ll see each other again some day. My thoughts are with you. I do believe that you''ll know when the time is right to let him go, until then just be there for him.
 
Irish-I am so sorry to hear about your Caesar!

It is a terrible situation to be in, but he will surely let you know when it's his time!!! What a wonderful final gift we can give our furbabies-to help them pass peacefully in our arms, to a place that is free of pain and illness. I truly feel that they are always around us and that we will all be reunited some day.

Hugs and prayers to you and Caesar!!!
 
Your post made me tear up and now I have that familiar sore throat that comes on when I feel sad. You really love your dog and it shows. I''m sure you couldn''t ask for a better friend.
 
yes, it does make sense. as hard as this may be to think about right now, there is a time in which it is humane to be proactive at the end. however, you have the time to also think about and arrange for what you want to do after: in my case i took my beloved cats to the crematorium myself, stayed there during the process, and brought the ashes home in an urn. for me it was seeing them through the complete process and it also helped me to accept the passing and deal with the grief. i did not want there last moments to be with a complete stranger. for me it was important to be a part of it all.

mz
 
Irish, sending you a hug and my heart breaks for you. Thinking of you and Caesar.
 
Thank you, everyone! I can''t begin to tell you how helpful this is for me. It''s hard for me to talk to DH about this, because I don''t want to upset him any more than he already is. It''s just so helpful to have a support system like this! Thank you so much!

Our biggest challenge right now is sleeping at night. Caesar and our other two dogs have always slept on the floor of our bedroom, but lately we''ve been shutting Caesar in the kitchen at night to keep any accidents contained and also because it''s hard for him to get up and down the stairs. We always tuck him in with a bunch of doggie beds piled up under him to make sure he''s comfortable. He''ll settle down for a while, but then he starts whining and barking and he''ll often scootch his way off his bed. When he does this, one of us goes downstairs to check on him, let him outside if he needs/wants to go, and help him to reposition himself on his bed. We''re switching off . . . last night was DH''s turn to get up with him, and tonight is mine. He had DH up four times last night!

I really think Caesar could handle the stairs if we''d let him try. He was doing it before, as recently as about two weeks ago. It does take him some time to get up and down the stairs, and he needs one of us to walk beside him to keep him stablized, but he CAN do it! And I think it''s probably good for his joints to keep them as mobile as possible for as long as possible. DH doesn''t want to try it, though . . . he thinks Caesar''s joints would be too stressed by going up and down the stairs, and he''s worried that Caesar would have an accident on the bedroom floor (which is carpeted). But, we got him a kind of doggy diaper . . . it''s actually just a wrap that goes around his waist like a cummerbund, and you line it with human incontinence pads. So that would prevent any pee from hitting the carpet. (The poop isn''t as big of an issue because it''s pretty easy to clean up. Besides, our carpet is due for replacing anyway!)

DH and I talked about this a few minutes ago, and we''re thinking of putting a radio in the kitchen with him tonight to help him relax. I don''t know if that will help or not. I told DH that, if Caesar keeps getting up tonight and DH still refuses to let me bring him upstairs with us, I''m going to sleep on the couch and set his bed up on the living room floor. I really think he only gets fussy because he''s lonely and he wants to be with us.
 
Aw Irishgrrl- I had a nice cry reading this. As you know a lot of this really hits home, but I am sorry to hear that Caesar is not doing so well. As I read I had a few things I wanted to say:

1. You are such a great mommy to Caesar. Although Caeser is coming to the end years of his life, it sounds like he is somewhat comfortable and not ready to go just yet. But you''ll know when the time comes and hopefully you won''t have to make that decision. I know it will be hard for me too with Oliver.

2. About getting himself up... Would a wheelchair help? I know they can be expensive for bigger dogs though. I know it''s easier for Oliver to get up when he is in his because the momentum pushes him forward. But if he''s still getting around fine once he''s up it might not be that much help anyway. Plus they can''t be in the wheelchair all day. We still have to help Oliver up all the time. He can generally scrap himself up with some effort, but when he is sleeping in his small crate I have to reach in and pull the skin of his back to get his rear up. I know it must be so much harder with a larger dog. Oliver''s vet has said that if Oliver was a bigger dog he wouldn''t be walking at this point.

3. I am with your DH on the stairs. I used to force Oliver to hobble up the stairs because I felt it was good exercise and the vet said we should be making sure he still gets exercise. DH always carried him up the stairs and said it was bad for him to go up stair. DH is the softy of the two of us so I thought he was just protecting his baby, but the vet confirmed STAIRS=BAD. I guess it''s a jerky motion and puts a lot of strain on the joints. Is he to heavy for you and DH to carry upstairs just for bed?

4. I think if I were you and really wanted him in the bedroom, I would buy a bunch of puppy pads to cover his doggy bed with and let him pee in the diaper. You could also get a full diaper to catch poo, or just clean it up in the morning. I think the diaper will hold in the smell so that you and DH don''t have to smell poo all night. I have to admit we have been letting Oliver sleep with us on the bed again. I really feel that at this point in his life, the only pleasures he has are eating and sleeping in a warm bed or on a warm lap. I''m not quite ready to take that away yet.

5. HOWEVER... If DH is strongly against letting Caesar upstairs at night, it will be okay to have him downstairs. He will get used to it. You might need to let him "cry it out" though. Unless you think he is crying because he actually needs something, it''s probably better not to go and check on him when he cries or he will associate crying with bringing you back. It will be hard at first, but he will get used to it. If you can''t get DH to agree to let him in the bedroom, don''t beat yourself up over it.

Anyway, I feel like I have so much more to say, but I''ll stop here. Don''t you just wish they could be here forever? My boss was thinking about getting a certain dog breed a while ago (can''t remember which) but I did a little research for her and made a list of pros and cons. One of the cons was short-lifespan and when I told my boss she was like "Oh well that''s okay, I don''t want too long of a commitment to a dog anyway!" She was just trying to convince herself this was the perfect dog, but I just kept thinking "NO! Once you love a pet and he becomes part of your family you want him to live as long as possible!"

Oliver is my first dog (well, as a adult), my baby too, since 8 weeks old, and I just don''t know if I will have the energy to go through this again. But I just have to remember all the wonderful happy moments he gave me! Try to do the same with Caeser, the good outweighs the bad!
 
Date: 3/3/2009 1:13:37 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
Thank you, everyone! I can''t begin to tell you how helpful this is for me. It''s hard for me to talk to DH about this, because I don''t want to upset him any more than he already is. It''s just so helpful to have a support system like this! Thank you so much!


Our biggest challenge right now is sleeping at night. Caesar and our other two dogs have always slept on the floor of our bedroom, but lately we''ve been shutting Caesar in the kitchen at night to keep any accidents contained and also because it''s hard for him to get up and down the stairs. We always tuck him in with a bunch of doggie beds piled up under him to make sure he''s comfortable. He''ll settle down for a while, but then he starts whining and barking and he''ll often scootch his way off his bed. When he does this, one of us goes downstairs to check on him, let him outside if he needs/wants to go, and help him to reposition himself on his bed. We''re switching off . . . last night was DH''s turn to get up with him, and tonight is mine. He had DH up four times last night!


I really think Caesar could handle the stairs if we''d let him try. He was doing it before, as recently as about two weeks ago. It does take him some time to get up and down the stairs, and he needs one of us to walk beside him to keep him stablized, but he CAN do it! And I think it''s probably good for his joints to keep them as mobile as possible for as long as possible. DH doesn''t want to try it, though . . . he thinks Caesar''s joints would be too stressed by going up and down the stairs, and he''s worried that Caesar would have an accident on the bedroom floor (which is carpeted). But, we got him a kind of doggy diaper . . . it''s actually just a wrap that goes around his waist like a cummerbund, and you line it with human incontinence pads. So that would prevent any pee from hitting the carpet. (The poop isn''t as big of an issue because it''s pretty easy to clean up. Besides, our carpet is due for replacing anyway!)


DH and I talked about this a few minutes ago, and we''re thinking of putting a radio in the kitchen with him tonight to help him relax. I don''t know if that will help or not. I told DH that, if Caesar keeps getting up tonight and DH still refuses to let me bring him upstairs with us, I''m going to sleep on the couch and set his bed up on the living room floor. I really think he only gets fussy because he''s lonely and he wants to be with us.
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Irish-It is such a tough time to try and decide what is best for our furbabies and ourselves. Maybe trying to sleep on the couch with him close to you would make you both more comfortable and give you two some more time to spend together. You might both just sleep better and sleep can do wonders :) A radio sounds like a good idea too if you have to leave him in the kitchen, have you looked into a heated bed at all??? There are some that you put these packs in the microwave and heat them up and then put them into the doggie beds-our pooch settles in some much easier when he''s warm. Good luck :)
 
I''m so sorry about your poor pup. Huge hugs to you Irish!
 
Sending lots of ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) and support your way. Your 1st post had me tearing up, and it''s clear that you''ve been an amazing dog-Mom, and are incredibly devoted to Caesar! I know it takes great strength to get through this, but as AG said, he''ll let you know when it''s time.
 
Mia ~ Thanks for the reply! I know you''ve gone through a lot with Oliver, so you probably know how I''m feeling right now. I don''t think a wheelchair would do much for Caesar at this point, although I have considered it. He really does get around pretty well once he''s on his feet, especially now that his arthritis medicine has started to take effect. I would be afraid a wheelchair would just get in his way. And I know what you mean about the stairs . . . I have really struggled with that issue. I think, between the two of us, we probably could carry him up and down the stairs, but I seriously doubt that DH would agree to do it. When he''s in the kitchen, he has two distinctly different cries: he whines when he''s just feeling whiny and missing us, but he BARKS when he really needs one of us. We normally don''t go check on him if he''s whining . . . only if he''s barking. Usually, when he''s barking, that means he has scootched off his bed and needs help getting back onto it and/or needs to go outside. Sometimes, he does get up on his own and walk around in the kitchen (normally when he wants to get a drink), and then he has trouble lining himself up just right when he goes to lay back down, so he winds up partially on his bed and partially on the floor. This causes him to yell for Mommy/Daddy to come help him! LOL!

Stepcut ~ I''m really starting to have some hope about the radio idea. I think he feels comfortable when he has background noise (radio, TV, etc.) because it means that DH and I aren''t far away. We actually just got him a new bed . . . one of the ones with the egg crate foam, which our vet recommended to help keep pressure sores away and heal the one he already has. He seems to like it, and the pressure sore is definitely improving, and we haven''t seen any signs of a new one forming anywhere (knock on wood). A heated bed might not be a bad idea, but we always put his bed in a perfect spot on the kitchen floor, where he has two heat vents blowing right on him. One is set into the wall right at floor level (which is perfect!) and the other one is a little bit higher in the wall. I think he likes that!
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Coati & Lauren ~ Thanks, guys!
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And thanks again to everyone else . . . you guys don''t know how much better you''re making me feel! I tried to post a pic of Caesar, but I can''t get my stupid computer to do it for some reason, so here''s a link: http://com.pricescope.com/photos/life/picture3799.aspx

I''ll keep checking in to let you guys know how he''s doing!
 
Sending hugs. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. You''re doing everything you can for Caesar.
 
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((GIANT HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Your post made me tear up since I just lost my fifteen and a half year old dog last month. I'm so sorry.

ETA: It's so hard to watch these animals go through so much, and they just want for everything to be ok...I'm really glad my dog, Judge, didn't suffer for long, but everyday I wish he was still with us...
 
Oh, IG, my heart goes out to you and your sweet, dear Caesar.

I just wanted to send my love and support. I know how heartbreakingly difficult it is to see a beloved pet age right before your eyes.
 
I am so so sorry. Losing a pet that you have had for so long is like losing a member of your family. I live in fear of the day something happens to my little guy and can only begin to imagine how you feel. I don''t have any words of wisdom, but wanted to let you know you''re in my thoughts.
 
put a mattress on the floor and sleep downstairs with him. he''s only got X time left, spend as much of it with him as you can.

mz
 
Oh I''m so sorry! *sniffle* And such a handsome boy he is too-I want to give him big loves and cuddles! I''m so sorry you are going thru this-it''s so unbelievably hard and painful. They become so much a part of the family. We lost our 12 year old Sadie this past fall..the closest I''ve ever seen my husband come to crying. There''s a childrens book called The Forever Dog that I wanted to get for our daughter to help her understand and cope, and, ok, help me too.

Sending you and Caesar lots of hugs and support!
 
Sending you lots of love and support.
 
I realize it''s March, and still very cold in many parts of the world (haha) but something that can help with larger dogs and arthritis is water therapy. Especially in larger dogs, the water makes them feel lighter and when they walk in chest deep water, it''s easier for them to move without the 100+ lbs great danes carry around. Great exercise without the strain. A client of my vet''s had a great dane that fit right into their pool at the perfect height and he just walked around and had a blast.

Just something to keep in mind :)
 
just wanted to see how you were doing today...good luck with your night duty tonight. I hope it goes well with Cesar...still thinking of you!
 
Date: 3/3/2009 2:31:54 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
Coati & Lauren ~ Thanks, guys!
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And thanks again to everyone else . . . you guys don''t know how much better you''re making me feel! I tried to post a pic of Caesar, but I can''t get my stupid computer to do it for some reason, so here''s a link: http://com.pricescope.com/photos/life/picture3799.aspx

I''ll keep checking in to let you guys know how he''s doing!
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He is beautiful!!!
 
Date: 3/4/2009 8:16:54 AM
Author: Lorelei
Date: 3/3/2009 2:31:54 PM

Author: Irishgrrrl

Coati & Lauren ~ Thanks, guys!
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And thanks again to everyone else . . . you guys don''t know how much better you''re making me feel! I tried to post a pic of Caesar, but I can''t get my stupid computer to do it for some reason, so here''s a link: http://com.pricescope.com/photos/life/picture3799.aspx


I''ll keep checking in to let you guys know how he''s doing!
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He is beautiful!!!
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Awww what a handsome cutie - he just looks like a bundle of hugs and love :).
 
Hi again, everyone! I just wanted to say thank you again for all the responses . . . you guys are so awesome!!!
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Well, my turn with night duty actually went pretty well last night. We tried leaving a radio on in the kitchen for him, but that didn't help at all. We tucked him in at about 11:00 p.m. and went to bed. Well, the whining started by 11:05 p.m. and the barking started about ten minutes later! So I went downstairs to check on him. Of course, he had scootched off of his bed. I helped him up and let him outside again (even though he had just been out about 20 minutes earlier), and he peed. Here's some good news: He had been having trouble stepping down the one step off of our back porch and into the yard, so he had been peeing ON the porch! (Yuck!) Well, since his arthritis medication and joint supplements have started to build up in his system, he seems a lot more mobile and he goes off the porch now! YAY!!!

So anyway, I brought him back inside and got him settled into his bed again. Well, just when I had climbed back into bed, he started barking again. This cycle of me getting up and him barking again as soon as I went back to bed kept going for another 45 minutes or so. Finally, around midnight, I decided to try something DH had mentioned. I got our other male dog (Biko, who is a 14-year-old black lab/pit bull mix and a TOTAL love-bug) and put him in the kitchen with Caesar so that Caesar would have some company. WORKED LIKE A CHARM!!!
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Caesar quieted down and went to sleep and we didn't hear a peep out of Caesar or Biko for the rest of the night. When we got up this morning, there were no accidents on the kitchen floor either, and Caesar ate his whole breakfast and didn't leave even one little bite in his bowl! WOO HOO!!! He's SUCH a good boy!
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I tried to get our girl (Turbo, our 9-year-old black lab/Heinz 57 mix) to go downstairs and sleep in the kitchen with her brothers, but she WOULD NOT leave the bedroom! I think we'll try to get her to sleep in the kitchen with them tonight, but I don't know how successful that will be. She is quite the little princess! LOL!
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We did leave the radio on for the boys last night, but I don't know if we'll do that tonight or not. I think Caesar was comforted just by the fact that Biko was there, and I don't think the radio did a whole lot for either of them. I'll leave it on if they like it, but I'm just worried that it's bothering them and that they'd rather have quiet. What do you guys think?
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ETA: About the picture that I linked to above . . . DH took that picture while he was sitting on our couch and Caesar was standing in front of him and looking DH right in the eye. (You can actually see DH's knee at the bottom of the picture I think.) That should give you an idea of how tall Caesar really is!
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Sounds like wonderful news I am glad he is feeling so much better
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I would be inclined to leave the radio off and the pups together and if they sleep peacefully keep it that way but if they are restless pop it on and see if that works :).

I am so glad to hear he is doing better :).
 
Date: 3/4/2009 9:08:13 AM
Author: Deelight
Sounds like wonderful news I am glad he is feeling so much better
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I would be inclined to leave the radio off and the pups together and if they sleep peacefully keep it that way but if they are restless pop it on and see if that works :).

I am so glad to hear he is doing better :).
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Ditto, so glad he is doing better!!
 
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