Had my first wedding break down

[Tacori E-ring]

Saturn I agree that my relationship with my sister is important to me but I am not quite ready to let it go yet. She just drives be insane sometimes! I wish she could see herself from my point of view.

I can''t wait until she is planning her wedding so she can see how stressful it is.

 

[saturn]

I hear ya.

What I just don''t get is how she could possibly think that HER dropping the ball is somehow your fault.

Maybe your mom will be able to get through to her.

In my earlier comment, I wasn''t trying to say that you should just let it go. I was just trying to commiserate and remind you not to do anything TOO awful to her... I mean, gum in her hair might serve her right, but just think how it would look in the wedding pictures

 

[Tacori E-ring]

LOL thanks for the much needed smile Saturn!

 

[diamondfan]

Tacori, I relate because my sis and I are night and day different. (we are no longer speaking due to HUGE thing that happened but that is another post!!!) Just throwing this out there because I dealt with this at my wedding 15 years ago. I am younger (are you?) and my sis was not married or engaged. Whether conscious or not, and I would like to think not, my sister was a wee bit jealous of all the attention I was getting. She got drunk at my engagement party and made an idiot of herself. She also was in my wedding and was not AT ALL helpful or kind. At 27, she had many friends who had gotten married and could have figured out that it might be nice if she were more helpful, but NO. I just gave up and considered who she is. Sadly, if you expect nothing you cannot be hurt. I HATE when you make the effort to tell someone how you feel and they crap on you. This is a HUGE day for you, and while I dislike when brides become bridezillas, I am sure you are not and you just want some support and help. Again, better for her to say she is unable to help than to be passive about something that is clearly so special and important to you and your fiance. So, I am just asking, since she is not currently married and may not have the prospect with current bf, is there any chance she is a teensy bit jealous? Take a deep breath and let her crap go out of your head, enlist someone else''s help and see if things improve later or after the wedding...

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Thank you Diamondfan. You post really made sense. I am younger by 3.5 years and I know my sister has spent a lot of her life jealous of me. (she always had weight issues growing up and I never did) We are just so different! Physically and personality wise. She does have a live in boyfriend and a few weeks ago she told me she told him she wanted to get married in 2007. Could it be that she is trying to catch up to me or take some attention off me, possibly. My sister is also used to getting her way. No matter if it is a movie, or where to go for dinner, nothing too small or too large for her to want her way. Her boyfriend is SO passive so he lets her run the show. My family usually does too though when she goes too far we have a playful nickname for her (tyrant, which she hates but usually backs off). I have physically felt sick since Thursday (after my conversation with her) so something has to be done because I am not going to be able to feel like this for 4 more months.

I guess I keep expecting her to call. I guess in my heart I know better.

 

[diamondfan]

Tacori, your sis sounds a bit like mine. Mine created this competition between us that was not of my choosing, I only wanted to have a loving and trusting sisterly relationship. I felt, yeah, we are different, but live and let live and let''s just be good and supportive to each other. I always feel a pang of envy when I see sisters who are close, while I am happy for them I have to aknowldge I will never have that with my sister. Luckily, I have an amazing step sister who is the best! She always wanted to be best or first and would sabotage me to do it. (I can see all this clearly now, but had to sever ties with her to get the distance needed to realize the truth. She was never going to change, and I really think she is not mentally balanced). I am not saying this is the case with your sis (the severity of the situation) but do not ever underestimate the strength of sibling jealousies and competition. Do not ask for her help anymore. If she offers, just nicely say no thanks, it is all taken care of. Just monitor her, and make sure your good friends have your back at any showers or the wedding itself. I had such issues I was prepared for major drama on my wedding day and I put my friends on high alert! Good luck...and like I always say, it seems weddings can sometimes bring bad to the surface, unfortunately!!!

 

[princessv]

Sorry I don''t have any advice to offer Tacori, but diamondfan''s posts really seem to make sense. Do you know how the meeting with the DJ went?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

diamondfan- She was really great at my Ohio shower so I don''t think she would purposely ruin anything. I think she is just selfish with her time. My parents friend gave her a pottery barn leather sofa that he no longer needed and she kept complaining how they had to go pick it up and what a pain it was

If I was getting free furniture I would be singing and dancing in the street. She just doesn''t like to be put out. I should have known better but she never said she didn''t want to help. She just sent me an e-mail with the updates (which are really none) and asked if there was something else she should be doing but I wish she would call and ask in person (so to speak). *sigh*

PV- The meet with the DJ is on tuesday. He told me mom that he would hold our date until then. I had FFIL look over the three sites we were considering and he agreed he liked this guy the best so cross your fingers that he is nice!