Has anyone chosen a dress that you loved but no one you shopped with liked?

[gwendolyn]

Been wondering this, since I''ve only gone dress shopping once so far, and everyone who was involved (future mother-in-law & sister-in-law in person, my mom and my aunt over the phone with photos taken after) seemed to prefer a totally different look on me. I don''t mind so much now because there was no single dress that really appealed to me--different elements from some of the dresses were good, but there wasn''t one dress with enough of those elements for me to be sold on it. My future mother-in-law practically paid for the dress she thought looked best (one I wouldn''t have chosen in a million years) before I stopped her and told her that none of the dresses were going to get bought by me today because they just weren''t right.

So, it got me thinking--have any of you fallen in love with YOUR dress, but had other people swearing up and down you should get something else? After you got it, did you have second thoughts because people weren''t gushing over your choice, or were you positive it was the one for you so you ignored what they had to say?

 

[Winslet]

Sort of, my MOH came with me dress shopping and loved me in this one dress (and I really loved it too). And then when I showed her pictures of me in the dress I actually ended up getting, she was visibly disappointed. I don''t care though - I''m sure she''ll feel differently about it on the big day when she sees me just soooo excited to be getting married When YOU feel great, others can''t help but notice this and it makes THEM think you look that much more amazing too! Go for what you want, and don''t settle for what anyone else wants!

 

[Gypsy]

Opinions are like... well you get my meaning. Yours is the only one that matters. My SIL tried to stick me in a tulle ballgown right out of cinderlla, I humored her. But god the thing was just not me. It was her. She was projecting her idea of the right dress onto me. It''s rare that you can go with someone who doesn''t do that.

After a while, I just went myself. Easier all around.

 

[gwendolyn]

Yeah, Gypsy, I will probably be doing the rest of my shopping alone (not necessarily on purpose, but it is just going to work out that way), but I showed some website photos of dresses I''m excited about trying on, and even my mom (who usually respects that my sense of style is totally different from hers) was sounding all disappointed in the styles of dresses I considering (sort of like what you experienced, Winslet).

If/when I find *the* dress, I will be sure to let all the would-be shoppers know that it''s a done deal because I''m madly in love with the dress, and if they don''t like it, they can keep it to themselves.

Thanks for the responses, ladies.

 

[blackbetty]

I had the opposite problem! My mom & bridesmaids were afraid to influence me. I could have used an opinion, though.

 

[LilyKat]

Why don''t you show it to us?

I''d be hesitant about buying something that other people didn''t like, but I would get a wide range of opinions about it, in case it was just a question of individual taste. So, I wouldn''t rule out the dress they didn''t like, but I would show it to other people (either on here or your real-life friends) to get more opinions.

 

[elrohwen]

I showed my mom pictures of my dress and she hated it. I was put off for a bit, but mostly because I thought it would be out of my price range. When I finally tried it on, she wasn''t with me, but I showed her pictures and she said she liked it on me (just not in the model pictures). I''m pretty sure she''s just being nice because I love it and I bought it; I don''t think she really likes it. But honestly, it doesn''t bother me, because I love it! If I was less sure of my choice, I think others opinions would bother me more.

 

[daught3rofEve]

I''ve worked in bridal stores on and off for the last 4 years.

I''ve seen girls fall head over heels for a dress, but be totally crushed because their mother''s/moh/and the kitchen sink didn''t like it, hated it, told her she looked "like a fat, beached cow" (yes, the mother said "COW") I was like, dang, harsh...

I usually have taken the bride aside when I notice she''s in a very "peer pressure" environment, while we''re in the dressing room, and just told her "Look, I''m not here for your mother or anyone else but you. If you dont want to try it on, it doesn''t go on."

Someone needs to be in the brides corner... she''s all happy and WHAM! Sucker punch from mom.

Poor girls.

I loved mine, my family loved it (my grandma actually picked it out) so I didn''t have to really deal with that. I made it very clear what I wanted.... I''m a "closet" stubborn person.

 

[miss_flo]

I don''t have any good advice since I haven''t gone dress shopping yet, but I do want to send hugs. This decision is yours to make and I know you will feel BEAUTIFUL on your wedding day after you''ve found the dress <3

 

[MakingTheGrade]

When I showed people sketches of the dress I wanted to make, they pretty much all thought I was nuts, and went "oh, but look at the ones in the magazines! They''d look so nice on you!"

I had it made anyways, don''t know if they still think I looked bad in it (they were obviously too nice to say anything after I had it made), but I''m happy with it. I probably would have looked more bridal and prettier in a more modern, fitted dress, but I love my dress because it''s 100% me and unique

 

[Miscka]

are you talking style difference or shape difference? Or both?

I would probably listen if someone told me a certain shape wasn''t as flattering on me (and actually, my mom did say that at one point). If she said she loved a shape on me that I didn''t, that is different than saying she doesn''t like a shape on me that I do. Does that make sense? I feel more inclined to advice about what looks bad than what she likes. Ha.

But as far as general style (beading, lace, etc etc) I think that is totally up to the bride, as you have to feel like yourself! I know my dress is not everyone''s cup of tea but that is fine, as 90% of people I know in real life''s dresses aren''t my cup of tea either

Let''s just say I live a land of generic, which is why I love all the style on PS!

Share some pics with us! Any links to what you liked/didn''t like?

 

[gwendolyn]

It was all style preferences from them--by FAR, I am my own harshest critic, so other people''s opinions of what looks good on me is often not good enough. There were some styles of dresses that weren''t "me" but that looked surprisingly flattering on me, so I told everyone that I would keep an open mind, in case I found a dress that shapes me in the same flattering way that I might like more than the ones I''ve tried on already. But it seemed like most of them (with the exception of my future sis-in-law, who seems more open to listening to what different elements I want in my dress) sort of "sided" with a dress and are cheering for that sort, if that makes any sense?

I don''t think it''ll be a *big* problem, but it''s already a bit of a bummer that I won''t get to do any actual dress shopping with my mom--I''m hoping she can have an open mind about my possible choices and not get mopey and depressed if I choose a dress that''s not what she would''ve suggested (she tends to get depressed whenever the distance between us is emphasized--she''s in the US, I''m in the UK). Not that I would''ve gotten whatever dress she wanted even if she was shopping with me, but she seems to think I would. Probably the rose-tinted glasses of living so far away...she''s forgotten how stubborn I can be, and how I will only part with large amounts of cash on something fabulous after much research.

 

[ilovesparkles]

I have been having this problem BIG time! One of my BMs is trying to convince me I look best is a strapless number. Mom thinks I look best in something with some substantial straps. I want to look like I have a figure without a muffin top or back cleavage and this seems to be impossible in the strapless styles. But my BM hasn''t liked a single dress with straps on me. I am very frustrated and have since taken a little break from the shopping.

Gwen - we just have to work on figuring out what we like and what we feel the best in! I think this becomes difficult if you are the type of person that has difficulty with decisions, like me! I feel like I am rambling now, but you will figure it out! And where are our pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Since I am really self-conscious about my appearance, I probably am not going to post any photos of myself in any dresses until I find more serious contenders...but just to give you an idea of the ones I am excited about and that I hope to try on next week...

For reference, I am a plus-sized bride and have many hang-ups about my body, and especially my upper arms. The dress shown without sleeves would only really be a contender if it could have sleeves added that looked like a natural part of the dress.

 

[gwendolyn]

Another maybe... (I would want silver, not gold lace--my mother absolutely hated this one.)

 

[gwendolyn]

And, the last maybe.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I just wanted to say that I love ALL of the dresses you picked the first one is my favorite

 

[Miscka]

Gwen, I LOVE them but especially the first!

I say, go with what you makes you feel like you should on your big day! Gorgeous and confident

Also, you are truly beautiful and I know you will rock out whatever dress you choose!

 

[gwendolyn]

The first is my favourite too!

No one else seemed excited by it, so I'm glad you two commented on it positively.

 

[choro72]

I LOVE the first one! I would love to see it on you!

My cousin got a dress that I thought didn''t do her justice. She is very self conscious about her appearance, so she wanted a plain A-line skirt with sleeves. Her sister and my aunt pushed some dresses to try on that were too daring for her; strapless with tons of frills and decor on the skirt.
I personally thought that she looked stunning in the flamboyant dresses. She is so beautiful with exotic features that she could pull it off. In the end, she chose a very plain simple dress, and to this day I think she could have done better.

In the end, she looked so happy to be married, and who knows. If she had been pressured into getting a dress that she was uncomfortable in, she may not have looked as radiant in the pictures.

 

[princesss]

The first dress is stunning! I really love the sleeves, they just make me happy for some reason.

You''re going to be a stunning bride, Gwen. I can''t wait to see dress pics!

 

[audball]

Date: 8/19/2009 4:25:09 PM
Author: princesss
The first dress is stunning! I really love the sleeves, they just make me happy for some reason.


You''re going to be a stunning bride, Gwen. I can''t wait to see dress pics!

+1, 2 and 3 are pretty, but 1 is WOW!

 

[Dannielle]

I went dress shopping alone yesterday and it was fabulous.. It is great having no one asking you to try on a certain dress and then saying "Yep.. thats the one"... No, no its not

I am not easily influenced so I am not really worried about showing FSMIL/FMIL my dress, I love it and when they see how happy I am in it I am sure they will love it too

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 8/19/2009 3:45:35 PM
Author: gwendolyn
The first is my favourite too!

No one else seemed excited by it, so I''m glad you two commented on it positively.

I love 1! The detailing on the sleeves is gorgeous

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Gwen, number one is INCREDIBLE! Oh my GOODNESS! That gown is simply stunning.

My second favorite is #3. It''s equally as gorgeous and classic, but there''s just something so feminine and wonderful about #1 that #3 is my runner-up.

#2 is pretty, no doubt, but it''s also run-of-the-mill (not trying to offend!). I like that #1 and #3 aren''t such common place styles.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

I''m not surprised to hear that many of us have been "talked out" of dresses that we really love and enjoy. Sometimes seeking second opinions is GREAT, and sometimes it really ruins the dress shopping experience.

We should start a new trend- Dress shopping alone and surprising everyone the day of the wedding.

It''s a little late for me, but I''d love to know if any other brides who have yet to purchase gowns are going to do something similar.

 

[charbie]

i didn''t run into this too much...however i went shopping at a sample sale (running of the brides) so i didn''t get a great mirror to try everything on in front of. i do remember trying dresses on with my mom standing behind me, playing with the train going, "oh this one is sooooooooo beautiful! this is it!" when she hadn''t yet seen it from the front...and they were usually hidious.

i just wanted to comment that the first one is GORGEOUS and i love those sleeves. i''m sure that looks fabulous on you!

 

[cindygenit]

YES!!! My fave was actually a sleek, chiffon gown that was A line... I thought it was perfect for me! but apparently, the princess skirt looked better on me since i have hips!

I think you should consider their opinion but don''t let them sway you!!

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 8/19/2009 10:38:39 PM
Author: Dannielle

Date: 8/19/2009 3:45:35 PM
Author: gwendolyn
The first is my favourite too!

No one else seemed excited by it, so I''m glad you two commented on it positively.

I love 1! The detailing on the sleeves is gorgeous

ditto to #1. i found a similar dress and felt beautiful!! i know you would look stunning in that dress!

 

[gwendolyn]

Awww, you ladies are all so sweet and wonderful! I don''t know what it is exactly about the sleeves in dress 1 (maybe how they hang? and the detailing?) but I feel like the sleeves make it, even though they are short sleeves, which I don''t often like on dresses (reminds me of t-shirts, and so just feels wrong on a formal dress). But those are fab! Very excited to try it (and the other dresses) on. The third dress is my runner-up--the styling of the bodice is very flattering on me, and I like the neckline and the sleeves are originally just what I thought I wanted, so I am curious to see how that one looks on me as well.

Just called and made the appointment for next Wednesday (had to be after pay day as these dresses are probably NOT cheap!), at a boutique that specializes in plus-size bridal gowns, and the woman on the phone said that I am the average size for her shop (hahah! Who would thought my size would ever be classed as average!

), so she has a ton of dresses in my size to try on! She also said she''s got many more dresses than she has up online, so I will be spoiled for choice--which is good, as I expect a lot from a dress this expensive.

Bad side is that she doesn''t allow any photos, unless I put a deposit down on one--then I can photograph that one only. I will try to sneak a couple photos on my cameraphone, but since (at this stage) no one is coming with me, the assistants will be with me all the time, probably, so my mom will hopefully not be too disappointed about that.

Yay! So excited!