Have you been "planning" your wedding while waiting?

[loveydovey]

Well I always told myself that I wouldn''t do anything related to thinking about wedding plans until I was officially engaged. But over the last few weeks, I''ve talked with a good friend of ours who asked me questions about our future wedding (such as possible # guests, budget, colors) and I had no answers and I told her why. She said, "....I''m such a planner; you should have seen me....when I knew me and DH were getting married, I had all kinds of lists LOL!" Then FF, just recently told me that he doesn''t see anything wrong with us thinking about wedding related stuff and doing a little "planning". Such as making lists and writing down general ideas and things like that.

 

[Lauren8211]

I started to, but FF and I talked about it, and I''ve really tried to put it out of my mind.

He feels like if we plan everything ahead of time, the engagement becomes something of a formality, and there''s nothing "special" reserved for when we are actually engaged. He thinks it takes away from the excitement. I had started thinking of little ideas initially, but nothing is materialized. No lists of colors, or guests, or anything like that. He really feels strongly that we should take things one step at a time, so I''m following suit.

 

[loveydovey]

Date: 8/4/2008 11:38:21 AM
Author: elledizzy5
He feels like if we plan everything ahead of time, the engagement becomes something of a formality, and there''s nothing ''special'' reserved for when we are actually engaged. He thinks it takes away from the excitement.

Thats a really good point elle!

 

[lala2332]

I''ve never been a wedding girl....so, I have no clue as to what I might even kind of want. Since BF and I will be engaged while in school and studying and taking the bar and then starting new jobs, I figure doing some of the more mundane stuff like making my portion of the guest list, and just looking at theknot and other websites isn''t a bad thing, just so I don''t feel overwhelmed whenever the engagement comes.

 

[fieryred33143]

I’m a planner. I have a 5 year financial spreadsheet for us based on each paycheck. I know exactly where our money was going. Before he proposed, I knew the wedding would happen by 2010 which is an unexpected expense for us. So I started planning. I got prices for venues, menu options, photography, etc. The planning didn’t necessarily relax me but I did feel more at ease knowing that it’s built into our financial goals. Yes, I’m a nerd but most accountants are.

 

[trillionaire]

Ok, I said other. I have a good plan of my "elopement", but that took about 15 minutes of thinking. If I wasn't adamant about photography for the elopement, we could go today and pull it off perfectly!

As far as a traditional wedding, I haven't planned one because I don't want to have one. My only "plan", if we go that route, is to be completely stress-free! I have a preference for the time of year (fall) and the colors (from our alma mater), and cake with no fruit in it. And lots of wine and champagne. Other than that, I would just like to show up, and suggest a few songs.

Really hoping to elope.... I have no desire to plan a wedding. The funny thing is, I am excited about being engaged and "having the right" to plan a wedding, even if I am only using that power to exercise my right not to have one, lol!

I am very excited about getting married, but not the formality and ritual. *shrug*


ETA: after reading Fiery's post, it became clear to me that I need to marry an accountant!!! I am a moron with money.

 

[vita*dolce]

i haven''t really started planning, but i did stumble upon the perfect venue while on a family outing -- there is a gorgeous little garden at a local museum and it is exactly what i''ve always imagined, so now that i''ve got that on the brain i find myself thinking of colors that i''d like, and flowers, and decorations... it makes me feel a tiny bit like a crazy person since i''m NOT EVEN ENGAGED!!! lol... i''m sure some of you can sympathize...

 

[sunnyd]

We know we''re getting married, I already consider us informally engaged, and I''m such a planner. Especially when I get excited about something (this falls under that...

) so I have to look at everything before making a decision. Which is ridiculous, but it works. Nothing is set in stone yet, just exact ideas of what I want!

Fiery, I''m the same way about making spreadsheets about money. I then update it obsessively every month. FF gets mad that I''m micromanaging his money. We have to be married before I can take over his dough. Hahahaha!!!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 8/4/2008 11:40:40 AM
Author: loveydovey

Date: 8/4/2008 11:38:21 AM
Author: elledizzy5
He feels like if we plan everything ahead of time, the engagement becomes something of a formality, and there''s nothing ''special'' reserved for when we are actually engaged. He thinks it takes away from the excitement.

Thats a really good point elle!

Thanks for sayings so.

Yeah, it''s gotten to the point where almost TOO much is not a surprise or as exciting as it should.

I already have a timeframe on an engagement, a diamond to reset, our parents know we''re getting engaged, etc., etc....

We''re trying as hard as we can to keep SOME parts of this whole marriage/engagement thing as exciting as it should be. So NO wedding **** mags or visits to the knot til I have that ring on my finger!!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 8/4/2008 12:06:59 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 8/4/2008 11:40:40 AM
Author: loveydovey

Date: 8/4/2008 11:38:21 AM
Author: elledizzy5
He feels like if we plan everything ahead of time, the engagement becomes something of a formality, and there''s nothing ''special'' reserved for when we are actually engaged. He thinks it takes away from the excitement.

Thats a really good point elle!

Thanks for sayings so.

Yeah, it''s gotten to the point where almost TOO much is not a surprise or as exciting as it should.

I already have a timeframe on an engagement, a diamond to reset, our parents know we''re getting engaged, etc., etc....

We''re trying as hard as we can to keep SOME parts of this whole marriage/engagement thing as exciting as it should be. So NO wedding **** mags or visits to the knot til I have that ring on my finger!!

....PEER PRESSURE!!!

You know you wanna!!! Just kidding. That''s cool that you''re waiting. I know I couldn''t!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 8/4/2008 12:10:27 PM
Author: sunnyd

....PEER PRESSURE!!!

You know you wanna!!! Just kidding. That''s cool that you''re waiting. I know I couldn''t!

Haha! Be nice!!!

Luckily for me, I''m the most stubborn person in the world -- so if challenged, I resist!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 8/4/2008 12:05:59 PM
Author: sunnyd
We know we''re getting married, I already consider us informally engaged, and I''m such a planner. Especially when I get excited about something (this falls under that...

) so I have to look at everything before making a decision. Which is ridiculous, but it works. Nothing is set in stone yet, just exact ideas of what I want!

Fiery, I''m the same way about making spreadsheets about money. I then update it obsessively every month. FF gets mad that I''m micromanaging his money. We have to be married before I can take over his dough. Hahahaha!!!

LOL He''s gotten used to it. Actually, he didn''t know about the spreadsheet until a few months ago when we started talking about getting a new car. I sent it over to him and his response was "OMG we have a 5 year plan!" He was impressed and scared at the same time. He''s not a spender and as long as he has money for CDs and Itunes, he''s happy LOL. I don''t even think he knows what''s in the bank.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 8/4/2008 12:19:42 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 8/4/2008 12:05:59 PM
Author: sunnyd
We know we''re getting married, I already consider us informally engaged, and I''m such a planner. Especially when I get excited about something (this falls under that...

) so I have to look at everything before making a decision. Which is ridiculous, but it works. Nothing is set in stone yet, just exact ideas of what I want!

Fiery, I''m the same way about making spreadsheets about money. I then update it obsessively every month. FF gets mad that I''m micromanaging his money. We have to be married before I can take over his dough. Hahahaha!!!

LOL He''s gotten used to it. Actually, he didn''t know about the spreadsheet until a few months ago when we started talking about getting a new car. I sent it over to him and his response was ''OMG we have a 5 year plan!'' He was impressed and scared at the same time. He''s not a spender and as long as he has money for CDs and Itunes, he''s happy LOL. I don''t even think he knows what''s in the bank.

LOL, impressed and scared. Perfect! Whenever he starts talking about what bills to pay I''m like, ''no! look at the chart!!!''

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/4/2008 12:33:14 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 8/4/2008 12:19:42 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 8/4/2008 12:05:59 PM
Author: sunnyd
We know we''re getting married, I already consider us informally engaged, and I''m such a planner. Especially when I get excited about something (this falls under that...

) so I have to look at everything before making a decision. Which is ridiculous, but it works. Nothing is set in stone yet, just exact ideas of what I want!

Fiery, I''m the same way about making spreadsheets about money. I then update it obsessively every month. FF gets mad that I''m micromanaging his money. We have to be married before I can take over his dough. Hahahaha!!!

LOL He''s gotten used to it. Actually, he didn''t know about the spreadsheet until a few months ago when we started talking about getting a new car. I sent it over to him and his response was ''OMG we have a 5 year plan!'' He was impressed and scared at the same time. He''s not a spender and as long as he has money for CDs and Itunes, he''s happy LOL. I don''t even think he knows what''s in the bank.

LOL, impressed and scared. Perfect! Whenever he starts talking about what bills to pay I''m like, ''no! look at the chart!!!''

Hmmm... Fiery is off the market, looks like I am going to have to propose to SunnyD for the sake of my financial future! LOL

Whaddya say?

 

[jcarlylew]

do i want to? YES. although it will make me more anxious. So i just throw out ideas from time to time. But not concrete planning as of yet *sigh*.

Although i already have food picked out

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 8/4/2008 12:50:04 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 8/4/2008 12:33:14 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 8/4/2008 12:19:42 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 8/4/2008 12:05:59 PM
Author: sunnyd
We know we''re getting married, I already consider us informally engaged, and I''m such a planner. Especially when I get excited about something (this falls under that...

) so I have to look at everything before making a decision. Which is ridiculous, but it works. Nothing is set in stone yet, just exact ideas of what I want!

Fiery, I''m the same way about making spreadsheets about money. I then update it obsessively every month. FF gets mad that I''m micromanaging his money. We have to be married before I can take over his dough. Hahahaha!!!

LOL He''s gotten used to it. Actually, he didn''t know about the spreadsheet until a few months ago when we started talking about getting a new car. I sent it over to him and his response was ''OMG we have a 5 year plan!'' He was impressed and scared at the same time. He''s not a spender and as long as he has money for CDs and Itunes, he''s happy LOL. I don''t even think he knows what''s in the bank.

LOL, impressed and scared. Perfect! Whenever he starts talking about what bills to pay I''m like, ''no! look at the chart!!!''

Hmmm... Fiery is off the market, looks like I am going to have to propose to SunnyD for the sake of my financial future! LOL

Whaddya say?

What, no ring?

 

[GoingCrazy29]

I''ve kept a list for a LONG time (since before FF and I started dating) that just has some things I like (flowers, colors, music, hairstyles, etc), but by no means will they for sure be a part of my wedding. There has been no formal planning, just little ideas of things I like or have seen. I won''t do any venue searching or ordering of anything until we are formally engaged- I think thats part of the fun of it!

 

[FrekeChild]

Um. Lets just say I''ve had a fair share of threads over in BWW.

Seriously though, I''m a planner. I always have been. A year ago and some months, I had to help a friend plan her wedding in a month and a half, and they had been together way less time than FF and I. And then I was asked to be a bridesmaid by another friend, so that just totally kicked it off right there.

What makes it super hard is that I make wedding cakes, so I actually go out and buy wedding **** for myself-but only for the cakes. I just look at the rest of the stuff for fun and for other people, because I''ve had a traditional wedding planned out for a long time now.

But all of that changed when FF suggested a Vegas wedding about a week ago. I hadn''t ever put serious thought into it before, so it was uncharted territory. So I''ve spent the last week doing that, and now I feel fully aware of everything that needs to be done if we get married in Vegas (which it''s looking like what will happen).

So yes. I like to plan, FF knows I plan and he''s perfectly fine with it. He says, "Well someone has got to do it." And I''m an organizational freak.

So if you guys need help with planning a Vegas wedding...let me know.

 

[KCCutie]

I voted "Yes--Because we''''ve already set a date/timeframe" b/c my SO said he wanted to get married ASAP after the engagement and we''re thinking that a good time will be Jan. or Feb. of 2009 for our destination wedding so I''d be crazy to not at least be looking at resorts now b/c once I get that ring I''ll still only have like 4-5 months to plan.

 

[Izzy03]

I don''t know that I am really planning, but I have a lot of mental notes and ideas. None are written down, I just play around with what I may want in the future.

 

[Diamond Confused]

Are there any LIW who ahven''t already statreted planning...? I know the guest list, colors, florist and I''ve been looking into venues

 

[choro72]

I''ve been planning my wedding before I even met FI. Venues, decorations, flowers, invitations, the works. Of course now that we''re actually planning it, it''s nowhere near what I''ve planned before.

 

[Deelight]

I voted other while I have not actively planned anything I have a good idea about certain things, so far I know that if we get married in OZ it will be an Autumn or winter wedding or if we do decide to get married in Europe it will be in Spring I know what my ideal dress style is and what FG dress style I like and I am thinking burnt orange or light green BM dresses. I guess I have ideas but I don''t want to buy bridal mags or plan stuff until the ring is on my finger it is so much more exciting that way I think .

 

[gwendolyn]

Other: I am usually a planner because I want to get the best deals on things, but haven''t really looked into anything because I have no real idea how much money we will have. The only ''planning'' I''ve been doing is trying to work out where (as in which country) to have the wedding--mine, his, or ''other.'' Been thinking about it for over a year and I still don''t know.

 

[FutureMrsMurph]

I''ve pretty much planned our wedding in terms of decor, location (or the sort of location I would like), favors, music, and food. I have a general idea for budget (though after looking at some of the GORGEOUS designer dresses on the BWW forum I might have to increase that ). I''ve bookmarked some centerpiece things here and there and some flowers ideas but I haven''t actually gone out and gotten information on pricing for photographers (though I know what style I would like) and venues and catering. It does relax me to have some general ideas in place that both FF and I like. Its actually pretty surprising that hes so willing to discuss this with me. Most people assume were already engaged since we own a house together so I guess the wedding-related discussions don''t really scare him.

 

[dreaming of the day]

I voted other, because I am not planning per say, I am brainstorming - but I have been doing this since I was about 12 years old. I love to look at dresses online, and pick colours, and venues, but none of it is anything concrete its all just day dreaming!

 

[SparklyLibra]

Yes... I have started planning minor details, such as looking at venues, menu planning, colour scheme & the like... We already have a date/ timeframe set.

From the outside it may appear unconventional, however in my case there is still a huge element of surprise in that FF is VERY good at catching me off guard with surprises as he has in times past... Just when I think I know what he''s up to: VOILA! Something I never saw coming...

 

[kateingram]

I''m totally in planning mode already even though we won''t get married until 2010. I''m so indecisive so I figured if I start now then maybe when the time comes to commit to a plan I''ll know what I want. The FF is ok with it as long as I don''t talk about it too much.

 

[dcgator]

I voted other, but here is why:

I am SUCH a planner, and I am chomping at the bit to start getting things in order b/c my FF and I have already decided that we want to be married in FL (even though we live in DC) and that we are shooting for a late spring wedding. Obviously, this is going to leave very little time to plan, etc. But, one of his complaints about his ex was that she had "already planned out" thier wedding, complete with binders of info, so I don''t think he would be too thrilled if I started planning now.

That being said, we still talk about the general idea of when and where we are getting married, so I think that will have to appease me until we actually get engaged/set a date. But, when we do get engaged, I will be all over it

 

[jcarlylew]

i had to vote "other"
E will get mad if i start planning before i am even asked, which i understand. He does want to be apart of the planning process. however, i am getting ideas of costs, expectations, and by going to other weddings and getting ideas. E doesn''t really understand the cost of things, so i''d like to at least be prepaired when he starts letting out some ideas