having a courthouse wedding before the actual wedding?

[cygnet]

I was chatting with SO and a friend last night, and the topic of weddings came up. G mentioned that when we get engaged, he'd rather secretly get married in the courthouse right after we get engaged and then plan a wedding instead of actually getting married at the wedding. His reasoning is that he would like me to receive his work health benefits and have hospital visitation rights in the meantime, since wedding planning does take a while and he feels there's no point in not having me on his insurance plan... but he still would like to have an actual wedding.

What do you guys think about something like that? Reasonable? Silly? Terrible idea? Great idea? I'm cool with it, though I'm not sure how it would work when the wedding rolls around and our marriage license is already signed, etc. Do any of you guys know someone who has done this already? Would you consider doing something like this?

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

It;s certainly a practical way to do things, but not quite romantic in my opinion. It does make sense, but I don't think I would be all that interested in doing it unless you're having a really long engagement or if the health insurance is something you need right now.

 

[madelise]

Why not? You'd have to decide if your courthouse marriage is literally just a legality, and not a socially "married" until you have your ceremony… and then keep mum on the topic… Or just count that as your ceremony, and plan a reception for later. It's not completely unheard of to do a reception a year later nowadays, since things are getting so pricey.

If SO had health insurance benefits, we might just be married already. I'm uninsured, and am absolutely horrified and paranoid of getting ill or into any accidents.

I know a couple who got course-house married legally on paper, but are not yet socially married. Very few people know they are legally married. I'm not 100% sure why they did it, but I think it had to do with tax purposes or something.

I also know a couple who got socially married with a reception with all their family, and the traditional Chinese tea ceremonies and all. But they didn't get legally married until about a year later. They felt no urgent need to, since they both had their own work insurances, and they didn't need anything special for their taxes. They waited until they were in Vegas anyway to do it. They did the drive-through.

 

[pandabee]

Agreed with the previous. I don't see anything wrong with it, if you have a specific reason for needing the legal benefits of being married while you continue with the planning of the social proclamation of being married. If you are doing it just to do it though, it does seem a bit unromantic to me but that doesn't mean I see a reason not to. *shrugs* eh to each his/her own...I wouldn't judge someone one way or the other!

 

[gem_anemone]

I get the impression that a lot more couples do that than most people think. Especially military families. There are smaller windows for marriage when the significant other is stationed. Also from what I've heard if you are in the military and you get married you get more money. Therefore they have a greater incentive to choose that route.

Me personally, I would never do it. I don't like the idea of misleading guests or keeping secrets. I would feel like a fraud walking down the aisle as an already married lady. But to each his own.

 

[SB621]

My DH is active duty military so courthouses wedding happen alot with our group of friends and his co-workers. As a military girlfriend or FI you can zero benefits or reconition by the military if somethings happens. Plus once you get married you get more $$$ as you have more dependants under you. All reasons people do the courthouse quickly and then sometimes follow up with an actual wedding afterwards. My take on it is that, as already mentioned, it takes alot of the romance out of the wedding. Perhaps you should do an elopment and have a small destination wedding and then later just have a party for friends and family?? I think the majority of our friends wished they didn't do the courthouse wedding except for my one super practical friend who didnt care either way.

Ultimately if you think it is bizarre I wouldn't do it, but if you care either way about having two anniversarys etc I would do what works for you and your FI.

Goodluck!

 

[CharmedOne]

I did it and 18 years later, we still haven't had a ceremony. Now we really wish we had one and now we think, "Who would to attend this old married couples wedding?" I don't think it's a bad idea at all but if a wedding is really important to you, just make sure you are admit about having a wedding. I think it's great that it was his idea too, it really shows how much he cares about you and wants you in his life and is committed to you fully. Such a sweet thing to do. You have a nice one there Congratulations!!!

 

[BriBee]

I started a similar thread a long time ago...although my issues were a little different:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/wedding-paperwork-secret-marriage.90705/

Most of the responses I got were to not do it....However in your situation I think that you have more valid reasons (health ins etc) to want to get married right away. However, I will refer to some of the advice that we got and say that maybe you should reconsider keeping it a secret? Or maybe tell just your closest family members. Not sure what your situation is but if any family is putting money towards a wedding they might feel "duped" or something if this ever came out. I also had concerns about the paperwork since we would already be married and normally your officiant would need to sign paperwork after the ceremony. I think you should just consider how family might feel if they found out about it, but other than that I think you have some good reasons for wanting to get married sooner than later.

 

[MsP]

I totally agree with whoever said that it is more common than you think.

I know several couples in the military that did it...and even several who are not in the military.

 

[missy]

We actually did get married first in the courthouse but not for those reasons. It was sort of a spur of the moment decision as we were about to move in together and I was *ready* finally to get married. Our big wedding was already planned and we still had the whole shebang with our friends and family. We celebrate both dates though and I find it very romantic that we got married twice just 3 months apart.

I say if it works for you guys and you need the benefits why the heck not? It's all what you make it to be and can be very romantic. Good luck and congratulations on your upcoming wedding(s)!!!

 

[sonnyjane]

I get the impression that a lot more couples do that than most people think. Especially military families. There are smaller windows for marriage when the significant other is stationed. Also from what I've heard if you are in the military and you get married you get more money. Therefore they have a greater incentive to choose that route.

Me personally, I would never do it. I don't like the idea of misleading guests or keeping secrets. I would feel like a fraud walking down the aisle as an already married lady. But to each his own.

Yes, I was going to say that we are in the military community and while we didn't do this, I would say at least half, if not more, of the people I know did. I have absolutely no problems with this whatsoever, EXCEPT, when people lie about it. What I mean is I know many people that got married at the courthouse first to get the benefits, and then got married in the big ceremony a year later, but in the meantime asked that I not tell their family or friends. If you're going to do something, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. I'll also be very honest that when I went to the "weddings" of people that I knew had already been married for several months and even a full year, watching it didn't feel the same as when I've gone to the weddings of my friends that were getting married "for real".

 

[missy]

I get the impression that a lot more couples do that than most people think. Especially military families. There are smaller windows for marriage when the significant other is stationed. Also from what I've heard if you are in the military and you get married you get more money. Therefore they have a greater incentive to choose that route.

Me personally, I would never do it. I don't like the idea of misleading guests or keeping secrets. I would feel like a fraud walking down the aisle as an already married lady. But to each his own.

Yes, I was going to say that we are in the military community and while we didn't do this, I would say at least half, if not more, of the people I know did. I have absolutely no problems with this whatsoever, EXCEPT, when people lie about it. What I mean is I know many people that got married at the courthouse first to get the benefits, and then got married in the big ceremony a year later, but in the meantime asked that I not tell their family or friends. If you're going to do something, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. I'll also be very honest that when I went to the "weddings" of people that I knew had already been married for several months and even a full year, watching it didn't feel the same as when I've gone to the weddings of my friends that were getting married "for real".

I agree that the couple shouldn't lie about. Weird that they would IMO but people can be funny that way. I just wanted to add that it felt as special to us (maybe more) when we got married in the big ceremony with a rabbi and priest in front of all our family and friends precisely because we were sharing this special time with them. It didn't feel any less special to us getting married for the second time 3 months later. If anything it was different but just as special if not more because the first time we did it my dh went to work right afterwards lol since it really was a spur of the moment decision the day before (the day we got the license and then there is a day wait in NYC I guess to cool off just to be sure haha).

Ofc YMMV but just wanted to share my perspective with the OP. Sonny, your perspective was as a guest but I am guessing lots of friends and family feel happy to be included in the big ceremony and don't think of it as a less special event.

 

[sonnyjane]

I get the impression that a lot more couples do that than most people think. Especially military families. There are smaller windows for marriage when the significant other is stationed. Also from what I've heard if you are in the military and you get married you get more money. Therefore they have a greater incentive to choose that route.

Me personally, I would never do it. I don't like the idea of misleading guests or keeping secrets. I would feel like a fraud walking down the aisle as an already married lady. But to each his own.

Yes, I was going to say that we are in the military community and while we didn't do this, I would say at least half, if not more, of the people I know did. I have absolutely no problems with this whatsoever, EXCEPT, when people lie about it. What I mean is I know many people that got married at the courthouse first to get the benefits, and then got married in the big ceremony a year later, but in the meantime asked that I not tell their family or friends. If you're going to do something, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. I'll also be very honest that when I went to the "weddings" of people that I knew had already been married for several months and even a full year, watching it didn't feel the same as when I've gone to the weddings of my friends that were getting married "for real".

I agree that the couple shouldn't lie about. Weird that they would IMO but people can be funny that way. I just wanted to add that it felt as special to us (maybe more) when we got married in the big ceremony with a rabbi and priest in front of all our family and friends precisely because we were sharing this special time with them. It didn't feel any less special to us getting married for the second time 3 months later. If anything it was different but just as special if not more because the first time we did it my dh went to work right afterwards lol since it really was a spur of the moment decision the day before (the day we got the license and then there is a day wait in NYC I guess to cool off just to be sure haha).

Ofc YMMV but just wanted to share my perspective with the OP. Sonny, your perspective was as a guest but I am guessing lots of friends and family feel happy to be included in the big ceremony and don't think of it as a less special event.

I think the reason those weddings have been weird for me (I've been to three weddings of people that were already married before) was that I knew they were already married but others didnt. Because my husband worked with them, I knew they were legally married, but their families and friends didnt. It was just weird to see all the stuff in their guest books about "so glad you're now husband and wife" etc. when I knew they had been married for a while already. I think they kept in secret b/c of the possible stigma that a courthouse wedding might have (not for me), so they didn't want to disappoint their families. If it had been an open celebration like the experience you described, I think I would have had a different attitude.

 

[missy]

I can understand that. It is weird that they kept it a secret because they didn't want to disappoint their family. I guess I might understand their perspective about not wanting to disappoint but since they are adults living their own lives the secrecy seems wrong. I know my parents were less than thrilled that we got married at the courthouse but that was mainly because we didn't have them there. It was a last minute decision so it just would not have been possible. That was the reason they weren't happy we did it. But not for one minute would I have even thought about keeping it a secret from anyone and in fact, I told everyone as soon as we did it LOL.

 

[MBKRH]

I was chatting with SO and a friend last night, and the topic of weddings came up. G mentioned that when we get engaged, he'd rather secretly get married in the courthouse right after we get engaged and then plan a wedding instead of actually getting married at the wedding. His reasoning is that he would like me to receive his work health benefits and have hospital visitation rights in the meantime, since wedding planning does take a while and he feels there's no point in not having me on his insurance plan... but he still would like to have an actual wedding.

What do you guys think about something like that? Reasonable? Silly? Terrible idea? Great idea? I'm cool with it, though I'm not sure how it would work when the wedding rolls around and our marriage license is already signed, etc. Do any of you guys know someone who has done this already? Would you consider doing something like this?

Both my sister and my (non-so-much-anymore) best friend went this route: courthouse first, and the "real" wedding one year later.

I myself do NOT want a super huge wedding; in fact, I'm on the fence about the whole thing. This may sound silly, but I do NOT want to be the center of attention. I am a very shy person, and yes, I know it'll be family and friends and what-not, but......... I just can't see it happening. Plus, I was never confirmed, (M was), so we couldn't do a wedding in a Catholic church, and I don't want to do a non-denominational church because that'd be "the only other option" (and making my confirmation isn't an option either, as I consider myself an agnostic-athiest now)

So.......... the more I think about it (which isn't often), the more I think I'll either want to elope, do a destination wedding with close family and a few friends only, or the court house route. But I really can't see myself getting married in the C.H.

My general consensus? I think it's reasonable and it seems to be the trend lately.

 

[maple2012]

I have actually thought about this lately. I personally would love to take this route, and keep it a complete secret (even from parents and friends). I am not sure how SO would feel about it though but I might bring this up to him after we get engaged. I actually kind of like the idea of being his wife "in secret" for a year while I plan the wedding. And secretly wearing my blingy wedding band from Tiffany that we have yet to purchase yet... in the house...!!! And secretly calling him my husband in the house... and fiance outside the house.

For me, I would definitely keep it a secret though, otherwise I wouldn't take this route. A friend of SO took this route but word got out that she was already married right before the ceremony (literally hours before) and even I was a bit dissapointed when I sat through the ceremony... since I felt they already said the "I Do's" and I wasn't witnessing it for the first time. Then I had a drink at the open bar and forgot about it.

Come to think of it... SO has a big mouth so maybe we can't take this route because he'd spill it.

 

[HopeDream]

Medical covereage is very important! I would be terrified if I didn't have any!

Where I live couples are consdered common-law after 6 months, so getting on my husband's medical plan when we were engaged was never a problem. (We could have filed taxed together for 5 years, berfore our wedding if we had wanted!)

You're only as married as you feel, and if the courthouse wedding is just seen as paperwork, and part of wedding planning, then why not go for it? During the Ceremony you can just make up your own certificate of marriage to sign, or ask your officiant if they have something you can use. Your guests won't know the differnce!

Your Wedding day will still be the day with the dress and the hoopla and the family and the vows and it will be special and feel like your wedding day.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

I live in a country where churches can only celebrate religious rites, not the legal wedding itself, so all couples have to go down to the courthouse before their church ceremony. I also happen to think that the government recognized marriage is just a contract and that the wedding is whatever is important to the couple. So, I have no problem with this at all.

However, I do now people in the US who would be mortally offended to be invited to a "faux wedding" (their words, not mine) and would not have made an effort to go. It depends, in the end, on your family and friends.

 

[partgypsy]

Cyget, people do have to go to the courthouse, seperately from the wedding, to have the official paperwork done. But usually that's done in a couple week period of time before the actual wedding, not months/ a year.

I would think long and hard whether you are ok with it. For example, if you already have health insurance, you don't need it for that, if you don't have dependents, not such an issue, think whether a year will make a big difference for the reasoning. Although some people think of the courthouse as merely being paperwork, many people, including parents, may see it differently, and hence the wedding differently if you knew it was done far in advance.

For example, my husband and I basically eloped. I didn't mind not having a traditional or big wedding, but we didn't do a honeymoon either. Now it is x numbers of years later, and I wish we did go on a honeymoon, or have a special trip for getting married. But, there is no compelling reason to have this kind of trip, because we are now an old married couple.
So if it is going to make the wedding less special to you, or possibly let down your family because you have done this, listen to your heart.

 

[nkarma]

Something to think about is how your family and friends may react if that matters to you? I know some family who are a bit more old fashioned thought "what's the point of a wedding if you are already married?" when we got married at the courthouse before our destination wedding.

 

[CaprineSun]

Cyget, people do have to go to the courthouse, seperately from the wedding, to have the official paperwork done. But usually that's done in a couple week period of time before the actual wedding, not months/ a year.

I would think long and hard whether you are ok with it. For example, if you already have health insurance, you don't need it for that, if you don't have dependents, not such an issue, think whether a year will make a big difference for the reasoning. Although some people think of the courthouse as merely being paperwork, many people, including parents, may see it differently, and hence the wedding differently if you knew it was done far in advance.

For example, my husband and I basically eloped. I didn't mind not having a traditional or big wedding, but we didn't do a honeymoon either. Now it is x numbers of years later, and I wish we did go on a honeymoon, or have a special trip for getting married. But, there is no compelling reason to have this kind of trip, because we are now an old married couple.
So if it is going to make the wedding less special to you, or possibly let down your family because you have done this, listen to your heart.

Does this mean the actual wedding date on record is different than the date of the wedding ceremony for couples who do it outside the courthouse?
I would hate that. I would want the date of my ceremony to be the actual wedding date on record. I hope I am misunderstanding?

 

[sonnyjane]

Cyget, people do have to go to the courthouse, seperately from the wedding, to have the official paperwork done. But usually that's done in a couple week period of time before the actual wedding, not months/ a year.

I would think long and hard whether you are ok with it. For example, if you already have health insurance, you don't need it for that, if you don't have dependents, not such an issue, think whether a year will make a big difference for the reasoning. Although some people think of the courthouse as merely being paperwork, many people, including parents, may see it differently, and hence the wedding differently if you knew it was done far in advance.

For example, my husband and I basically eloped. I didn't mind not having a traditional or big wedding, but we didn't do a honeymoon either. Now it is x numbers of years later, and I wish we did go on a honeymoon, or have a special trip for getting married. But, there is no compelling reason to have this kind of trip, because we are now an old married couple.
So if it is going to make the wedding less special to you, or possibly let down your family because you have done this, listen to your heart.

Does this mean the actual wedding date on record is different than the date of the wedding ceremony for couples who do it outside the courthouse?
I would hate that. I would want the date of my ceremony to be the actual wedding date on record. I hope I am misunderstanding?

I'm not sure where everyone is from, but I'll assume (and might be wrong), that we are talking about the States? If so, you go to the courthouse, sign some paperwork, and get your marriage license and any other paperwork that your state might require (all states have different rules). Depending on where you live, there may or may not be a waiting period, and then you have your wedding where your marriage license is signed by you, your spouse, your officiant, and witnesses if necessary. Once THAT document is filed with the courts, then you will get your marriage certificate. Your "wedding day" will be the day that your officiant signed the paperwork saying that you were married.

If you choose to not have a wedding and just get married at the courthouse, then a judge or other court employee acts as your officiant and signs the marriage license at the courthouse instead. Either way, your wedding day is the day that you say your vows and sign your license in front of someone (judge/officiant).

 

[madelise]

Cyget, people do have to go to the courthouse, seperately from the wedding, to have the official paperwork done. But usually that's done in a couple week period of time before the actual wedding, not months/ a year.

I would think long and hard whether you are ok with it. For example, if you already have health insurance, you don't need it for that, if you don't have dependents, not such an issue, think whether a year will make a big difference for the reasoning. Although some people think of the courthouse as merely being paperwork, many people, including parents, may see it differently, and hence the wedding differently if you knew it was done far in advance.

For example, my husband and I basically eloped. I didn't mind not having a traditional or big wedding, but we didn't do a honeymoon either. Now it is x numbers of years later, and I wish we did go on a honeymoon, or have a special trip for getting married. But, there is no compelling reason to have this kind of trip, because we are now an old married couple.
So if it is going to make the wedding less special to you, or possibly let down your family because you have done this, listen to your heart.

Does this mean the actual wedding date on record is different than the date of the wedding ceremony for couples who do it outside the courthouse?
I would hate that. I would want the date of my ceremony to be the actual wedding date on record. I hope I am misunderstanding?

I'm not sure where everyone is from, but I'll assume (and might be wrong), that we are talking about the States? If so, you go to the courthouse, sign some paperwork, and get your marriage license and any other paperwork that your state might require (all states have different rules). Depending on where you live, there may or may not be a waiting period, and then you have your wedding where your marriage license is signed by you, your spouse, your officiant, and witnesses if necessary. Once THAT document is filed with the courts, then you will get your marriage certificate. Your "wedding day" will be the day that your officiant signed the paperwork saying that you were married.

If you choose to not have a wedding and just get married at the courthouse, then a judge or other court employee acts as your officiant and signs the marriage license at the courthouse instead. Either way, your wedding day is the day that you say your vows and sign your license in front of someone (judge/officiant).

Thanks for that. I had the same thoughts as Caprine, and kinda worried about that.. but not enough to let it bother me to the point of researching. I learn new things every day!

 

[CaprineSun]

Cyget, people do have to go to the courthouse, seperately from the wedding, to have the official paperwork done. But usually that's done in a couple week period of time before the actual wedding, not months/ a year.

I would think long and hard whether you are ok with it. For example, if you already have health insurance, you don't need it for that, if you don't have dependents, not such an issue, think whether a year will make a big difference for the reasoning. Although some people think of the courthouse as merely being paperwork, many people, including parents, may see it differently, and hence the wedding differently if you knew it was done far in advance.

For example, my husband and I basically eloped. I didn't mind not having a traditional or big wedding, but we didn't do a honeymoon either. Now it is x numbers of years later, and I wish we did go on a honeymoon, or have a special trip for getting married. But, there is no compelling reason to have this kind of trip, because we are now an old married couple.
So if it is going to make the wedding less special to you, or possibly let down your family because you have done this, listen to your heart.

Does this mean the actual wedding date on record is different than the date of the wedding ceremony for couples who do it outside the courthouse?
I would hate that. I would want the date of my ceremony to be the actual wedding date on record. I hope I am misunderstanding?

I'm not sure where everyone is from, but I'll assume (and might be wrong), that we are talking about the States? If so, you go to the courthouse, sign some paperwork, and get your marriage license and any other paperwork that your state might require (all states have different rules). Depending on where you live, there may or may not be a waiting period, and then you have your wedding where your marriage license is signed by you, your spouse, your officiant, and witnesses if necessary. Once THAT document is filed with the courts, then you will get your marriage certificate. Your "wedding day" will be the day that your officiant signed the paperwork saying that you were married.

If you choose to not have a wedding and just get married at the courthouse, then a judge or other court employee acts as your officiant and signs the marriage license at the courthouse instead. Either way, your wedding day is the day that you say your vows and sign your license in front of someone (judge/officiant).

Whew! Thanks!

 

[Clairitek]

When we got engaged if one of us had been without health insurance but could be added to the other's insurance once we were married I think that we would have done the same thing. We got married within 6 months of getting engaged so we didn't have a long time to sit on it and think but I definitely don't see anything wrong with that strategy. I think that there are other PSers (amc80 comes to mind) who secretly got married at the courthouse prior to the wedding ceremony.

A friend of mine at work was married for years (2-3?) legally before they had a ceremony. Actually, DH officiated the ceremony (he became a Dudeist priest online and then was grilled by the groom's super religious aunt or family friend about his faith, it was hilarious). Their parents didn't know that they were already married but all of their friends knew.

 

[madelise]

When we got engaged if one of us had been without health insurance but could be added to the other's insurance once we were married I think that we would have done the same thing. We got married within 6 months of getting engaged so we didn't have a long time to sit on it and think but I definitely don't see anything wrong with that strategy. I think that there are other PSers (amc80 comes to mind) who secretly got married at the courthouse prior to the wedding ceremony.

A friend of mine at work was married for years (2-3?) legally before they had a ceremony. Actually, DH officiated the ceremony (he became a Dudeist priest online and then was grilled by the groom's super religious aunt or family friend about his faith, it was hilarious). Their parents didn't know that they were already married but all of their friends knew.

Claire, please share what a Dudeist priest is! That sounds so funny Does this mean he just faked it since they didn't need actual officiating?


I need health insurance, by the way. Is anyone willing to marry me?

 

[DNB]

His health insurance requires you to be married? My DS is 26 and engaged. His FI is on his insurance as his "partner". All they had to do was add her to his lease when they renewed it and she does live with him and his two housemates. His previous company allowed this too. He just changed jobs a month ago. They're getting married in April.

DH and I almost did this 32 years ago. He was in Navy OCS (Officer's Candidate School) and wanted to go ahead and marry me 3 1/2 months before our wedding. He was talked out of it by the Chaplain he asked to do it. But, I do know a couple who did it at the end of the year for tax reasons. Their marriage lasted all of 5 years.

 

[madelise]

His health insurance requires you to be married? My DS is 26 and engaged. His FI is on his insurance as his "partner". All they had to do was add her to his lease when they renewed it and she does live with him and his two housemates. His previous company allowed this too. He just changed jobs a month ago. They're getting married in April.

It depends on your employed, DNB. Employer sponsored health insurance is employer sponsored, either partially or fully. They have the say on who you can insure. Not all companies will insure "Domestic Partners". In fact, it's very rare. I work with insurance, and have only found a few people out of thousands that I've helped that have been insured by a significant other that was not a husband or wife. Employers also don't have to insure your spouse or your family. Some employers don't. But most will. Either way, the more people you sponsor as dependents, the more your employer will have to sponsor as well. And we all know they don't like paying extra $$$.

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

I can see the value of why people would do it for practical reasons. Personally I wouldn't mind getting legally married before having a planned wedding. For me the wedding is really for the family and I would love to have something where it's just my FI and I. Weddings in my family can be really chaotic and its all about making the family happy. My cousins got legally married before their wedding when they were working in California and they had two huge weddings, one for each of their cultures. They told me they don't remember anything about the weddings but they do remember the day they went to the courthouse to get married. To me there is an element of romance in that.
I probably have a different perspective on it but my thought is that there isn't much of a difference to when you get things done as long as you do it all with the person you love.

 

[vintageinjune]

My husband and I did the opposite - we had the court date/official wedding/legal paperwork done the next weekend because the man we wanted to marry us was not licensed to do so legally, but the wedding was perfect and we had such a blast!

Doing it beforehand shouldn't in any way diminish the joy of planning a ceremony and having your wedding with friends and family. To me, our wedding date will always be the day I walked down the aisle in the white dress, not the 10 minutes in the court room wearing my jeans.

My cousin and his wife just did the same thing you are thinking about, had a little meeting with a justice of the peace and are planning their wedding and reception for next year, because he wanted her on his benefits package, and with all the legal rights that come to legally recognized spouses that aren't given to girlfriends/fiances.