Hi Ladies,
I am new here and am hoping joining the LIW board will help me better deal with my situation. Here''s where I''m at: I am a few weeks away from my 27th b-day, while the BF will hit 30 this summer. We have been together for only a year and a half, but things have moved quickly from the start. We''ve been living together since May and I really thought we''d be engaged by the end of 2007 at the latest. We both have great jobs, he has a ton of $$ saved, and we are just a really good place...seems like there''s nothing to wait for, right?
Well...around August or Sept I let it be known that I was ready for engagement...he said it would happen but we didn''t set any kind of timeline. Around that time, some serious stuff began happeing with him at work...a long story, but he''s in law enforcement and is involved in a major lawsuit. This has caused HUGE stress for him and definitely strained our relationship. In the beginning of all of this, I tried to ease up on the engagement topic because I knew he had a lot on his plate. At this point, it''s been MONTHS of this sitaution and lawsuits can go on FOREVER...I have been so supportive and feel like I have sacrificed what I want (meaning moving forward in our relationship) because of this job that is consuming his life. I have begun to mention the topic of engagement again, but it''s to the point now that he always seems agitated about it. He gets short with me and doesn''t want to talk about it, saying he can''t begin to think about that right now due to everything else thats happening.
Lately the waiting has become really unbareable...my best friend got engaged on Christmas and his best friend on New Years. I feel like an awful person for being anything but happy for them, but I can''t help but feel miserable that I have no idea what is happening with us. I also hate that I have begun feeling so insecure and bitter toward him because of this. I know it sounds awful, but I am starting to resent him for making me wait for the things I want in life. I understand he is in a tough spot right now, but I truly feel like the work issue is bringing our relationship to a halt. I have told him I understand he is going through a lot, but I dont think our relationship should suffer because of it. What do I do? Is this selfish of me and how long do I wait before doing something about it? At this point, I REALLY want us to move on with our lives and the waiting is completely consuming me....at the same time, I love him so much and want to be there for him through all of this crap....I just wish we could go through the bad stuff together but separate that from our relationship....HELP!!
I am new here and am hoping joining the LIW board will help me better deal with my situation. Here''s where I''m at: I am a few weeks away from my 27th b-day, while the BF will hit 30 this summer. We have been together for only a year and a half, but things have moved quickly from the start. We''ve been living together since May and I really thought we''d be engaged by the end of 2007 at the latest. We both have great jobs, he has a ton of $$ saved, and we are just a really good place...seems like there''s nothing to wait for, right?
Well...around August or Sept I let it be known that I was ready for engagement...he said it would happen but we didn''t set any kind of timeline. Around that time, some serious stuff began happeing with him at work...a long story, but he''s in law enforcement and is involved in a major lawsuit. This has caused HUGE stress for him and definitely strained our relationship. In the beginning of all of this, I tried to ease up on the engagement topic because I knew he had a lot on his plate. At this point, it''s been MONTHS of this sitaution and lawsuits can go on FOREVER...I have been so supportive and feel like I have sacrificed what I want (meaning moving forward in our relationship) because of this job that is consuming his life. I have begun to mention the topic of engagement again, but it''s to the point now that he always seems agitated about it. He gets short with me and doesn''t want to talk about it, saying he can''t begin to think about that right now due to everything else thats happening.
Lately the waiting has become really unbareable...my best friend got engaged on Christmas and his best friend on New Years. I feel like an awful person for being anything but happy for them, but I can''t help but feel miserable that I have no idea what is happening with us. I also hate that I have begun feeling so insecure and bitter toward him because of this. I know it sounds awful, but I am starting to resent him for making me wait for the things I want in life. I understand he is in a tough spot right now, but I truly feel like the work issue is bringing our relationship to a halt. I have told him I understand he is going through a lot, but I dont think our relationship should suffer because of it. What do I do? Is this selfish of me and how long do I wait before doing something about it? At this point, I REALLY want us to move on with our lives and the waiting is completely consuming me....at the same time, I love him so much and want to be there for him through all of this crap....I just wish we could go through the bad stuff together but separate that from our relationship....HELP!!