Help me keep my sanity!

[bostonguy2012]

Good Afternoon All --

First, thank you for even taking the time to read this.

Let me give you the short of it and if you want to continue reading, you will read the long of it...

I proposed with a (G SI2, FRB, 'tripple ex', 1.02) she was so happy but wanted a bigger stone (went back to the same jeweler) got a different stone 1.25 F SI2 ... the fiance still was not happy, tried to get my money back (six months later) and the jeweler basically treated me like a total ( fill in whatever expletive you want).

Went to two well known places and they offered as high as 5,000 when I paid 12,500 for the setting and center stone.

How do I know if I got screwed? I know I did but how do I know? Also, anyone ever come across this? What did you do? I realize 6 months is a long time but to be offered a SIGNIFICANT amount less at a bigger store makes me sick.

The Long of it...

I spent a lot of time with this local jeweler trying to pick out the perfect stone. He spent a lot of time with me helping me stay within my budget, etc. At the time I had two pieces of jewelry I wanted to trade in and he offered me the highest amount by a lot. (should have been red flag number one) Between his help and my money, I picked out a stone that I would have sworn she was going to love. She initially did but wanted something a bit bigger (and she had it in her mind that she could see yellow in the stone. Again, this first stone was a G, SI2, 1.01 'triple ex')

She and I went back to the jeweler to get a new stone as she wasn't happy...and we all know if she aint happy, neither am I. So, for another 3,300 I purchased a bigger stone (1.25 F, SI2, 'triple ex').

The other day she was showing her friend and when she saw it, it looked 'cloudy' and 'wet.' After that she began feeling it and she noticed an indent / inclusion. I took it back to the jeweler and he said there was nothing there and that she would have to come in and explain to him what she was seeing, etc.

I showed it to a more reputable dealer and they said it was a natural inclusion and that the original jeweler was correct.

After doing some thinking and taking several steps back from the situation, it seemed to me the original jeweler is / was a salesman and would say or tell me exactly what I wanted to hear and that I more than likely over-paid for the ring.

Going back to Mr. More Reputable Dealer, for bleeps and giggles, I had them tell me what they would give me in trade towards another stone...they told me they would give me $5,000. Again, for bleeps I went to another jeweler to see what they would give me and they said max of $5,500.

So my question to anyone is: what do I do? She still isn't happy (and before judgement is made towards her, she is a sweetheart and is the LEAST picky person I know)... I DID attempt to get my money back from Mr. Local Jeweler but he laughed at me and said no way. I don't want to get taken on this and I also want her to be happy.

Thank you again for any suggestions and advice.

 

[JulieN]

If you were outside of your return period, there is nothing you can do. Six months later is much too long.

Expect to get less than half retail when re-selling. That is normal.

 

[Niel]

Well to get that much for your stone second hand is normal, especially if you're trying to sell it to a dealer. And Im not surprised they didnt take it back, 6 months is a long time. Do they have a upgrade policy, you would have to spend probably quite a lot but that might be an option, other than that maybe her issue is light performance? she could send it to have it recut? Though thats dangerous to the stone and would reduce ct weight but if she isnt picky then It might be an option. Did the stone have any flour?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

$5000 is actually a good offer on a second hand 1.25 F SI2. I see a 1.25 listed under $7k. Here is a 1.3 F SI2 listed at $7742:

http://www.jamesallen.com/diamonds/F-SI2-Excellent-Cut-Round-Diamond-1531347.asp?b=16&a=12&c=77&cid=131

Does your setting have a lot of diamonds? Is it platinum? Does she like it? It will save money if you only have to get a new diamond.

Yes, you cannot return a diamond after 6 months. And SI2 is low clarity so it is not surprising for there to be some negatives there, although some stones have better inclusions than others. Did you examine the stone with a loupe before purchasing?

If this were me, I would happily sell the diamond for $5k and start over if you can still use the setting. But I would come here to get suggestions and absolutely not overpay for another stone.

 

[bostonguy2012]

Thank you all for at least setting me straight on this. Apparently I was living in the clouds...

Anyways, the setting is a white gold cathedral setting (the jeweler says it's a platinum head/mount but I think he's full of it), with diamonds going up both sides.

I guess where my issue is is in the "starting over" part. I really can't afford to be shelling about several thousand dollars more for this.

I COULD "upgrade" but I refuse to with this original jeweler.

 

[Niel]

$5000 is actually a good offer on a second hand 1.25 F SI2. I see a 1.25 listed under $7k. Here is a 1.3 F SI2 listed at $7742:

http://www.jamesallen.com/diamonds/F-SI2-Excellent-Cut-Round-Diamond-1531347.asp?b=16&a=12&c=77&cid=131

Does your setting have a lot of diamonds? Is it platinum? Does she like it? It will save money if you only have to get a new diamond.

Yes, you cannot return a diamond after 6 months. And SI2 is low clarity so it is not surprising for there to be some negatives there, although some stones have better inclusions than others. Did you examine the stone with a loupe before purchasing?

If this were me, I would happily sell the diamond for $5k and start over if you can still use the setting.

I agree if the setting is good take the money if she really isnt happy. and if she really is that concerned about size get a pear or a marquise. Those are face up larger so would look bigger and you can get a 1.15+ G+ eye clean one for around what they will give you

http://www.jamesallen.com/diamonds/G-VS1-Good-Cut-Marquise-Diamond-1506718.asp

 

[JulieN]

Thank you all for at least setting me straight on this. Apparently I was living in the clouds...

Anyways, the setting is a white gold cathedral setting (the jeweler says it's a platinum head/mount but I think he's full of it), with diamonds going up both sides.

I guess where my issue is is in the "starting over" part. I really can't afford to be shelling about several thousand dollars more for this.

I COULD "upgrade" but I refuse to with this original jeweler.

If it is really white gold and not platinum, is there not a reason for a credit card dispute? How can you THINK he is full of it, you are not sure what the setting is? This may be the only way to get your money back.

Unfortunately, your gf can see yellow in a G, her friends tell her SI2 is cloudy, and she wants something even bigger. You should ask her if she would like something other than a diamond.

 

[bostonguy2012]

I guess I have no basis to think something other than a hunch? He just rubs me the wrong way and is one of those typical "salesman" type of guys....

The way it looks now is she will probably keep the stone she has until a special anniversary or something and then she gets an 'upgrade' or something.

Also, he 'kept his cost low due to me paying cash.' I also 'didn't pay any tax on it because I paid in cash' so there is no way for me to dispute it with the credit card company

Thank you all for your help and suggestions. Keep 'em coming though for sure

 

[Niel]

I guess I have no basis to think something other than a hunch? He just rubs me the wrong way and is one of those typical "salesman" type of guys....

The way it looks now is she will probably keep the stone she has until a special anniversary or something and then she gets an 'upgrade' or something.

Also, he 'kept his cost low due to me paying cash.' I also 'didn't pay any tax on it because I paid in cash' so there is no way for me to dispute it with the credit card company

Thank you all for your help and suggestions. Keep 'em coming though for sure

Sounds super sketch... the only place that asks i pay in cash is my tattoo parlor, and even then its on a request, not a requirement......

do you have the original GIA report?

and so shes going to keep it? have you run other options IE other shapes, sapphires, etc by her? Personally if I really hated my current ring I wouldnt mind looking at other options, rather than having to look at it every day for 10 years until the upgrade.

 

[GoldFish8]

How does she feel about halo's ? If size is a big concern for her, a halo will increase the appearance of size significantly, while at the same time I think it will take notice off of those inclusions

A nice halo on a 1.25 would look really nice, and could appear much more substantial and extra sparkly.

I hope you get it all resolved! Best of luck!

 

[Niel]

So she could see the color in the original G but she didnt notice any haziness or oiliness for 6 months until her friend pointed it out? Is she maybe just wanting a new one now because someone said something negative about it?

 

[bostonguy2012]

She keeps telling me that she is fine and by no means does she 'HATE' it.

In order for the price to be lower and for me to avoid paying tax I had to pay all cash. Again, I'm sure it was all built into the price of the ring. i.e. i'll give you more up front for those two pieces of jewelry but the price of your ring on the back end will be higher.

also, when i requested my money back (I'd even be willing to take 20% less), he got upset and told me that he "lost $180 on her setting." I wanted to tell him...but you bleeped me in the amount of thousands of dollars for the stone(s)....

 

[GoldFish8]

Check out some of these halos and the difference they make in finger coverage!

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/solitaire-to-halo-before-and-afters.130309/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/solitaire-to-halo-before-and-afters.130309/[/URL]

 

[Gypsy]

Look. It sounds like this is bothering you more than it is bothering her. I don't think its about the ring at this point.

Just step away. Take a year off if it is still even an ISSUE, come back and we'll find you some solutions. But really I think you just need to let go. A 1.25 carat ring is LOVELY.

 

[Rhea]

I guess I have no basis to think something other than a hunch? He just rubs me the wrong way and is one of those typical "salesman" type of guys....

The way it looks now is she will probably keep the stone she has until a special anniversary or something and then she gets an 'upgrade' or something.

Also, he 'kept his cost low due to me paying cash.' I also 'didn't pay any tax on it because I paid in cash' so there is no way for me to dispute it with the credit card company

Thank you all for your help and suggestions. Keep 'em coming though for sure

Sounds super sketch... the only place that asks i pay in cash is my tattoo parlor, and even then its on a request, not a requirement......

Even PS vendors ask you to pay cash. They offer discounts on wire transfers which is the same thing as paying cash. It's not that sketchy for vendors to pay on their savings if you pay by a method which costs them less.

 

[Niel]

I guess I have no basis to think something other than a hunch? He just rubs me the wrong way and is one of those typical "salesman" type of guys....

The way it looks now is she will probably keep the stone she has until a special anniversary or something and then she gets an 'upgrade' or something.

Also, he 'kept his cost low due to me paying cash.' I also 'didn't pay any tax on it because I paid in cash' so there is no way for me to dispute it with the credit card company

Thank you all for your help and suggestions. Keep 'em coming though for sure

Sounds super sketch... the only place that asks i pay in cash is my tattoo parlor, and even then its on a request, not a requirement......

Even PS vendors ask you to pay cash. They offer discounts on wire transfers which is the same thing as paying cash. It's not that sketchy for vendors to pay on their savings if you pay by a method which costs them less.

Sorry to me wire transfer and a wad of cash seem like different things to me, those provide paper trails

 

[Rhea]

I guess I have no basis to think something other than a hunch? He just rubs me the wrong way and is one of those typical "salesman" type of guys....

The way it looks now is she will probably keep the stone she has until a special anniversary or something and then she gets an 'upgrade' or something.

Also, he 'kept his cost low due to me paying cash.' I also 'didn't pay any tax on it because I paid in cash' so there is no way for me to dispute it with the credit card company

Thank you all for your help and suggestions. Keep 'em coming though for sure

Sounds super sketch... the only place that asks i pay in cash is my tattoo parlor, and even then its on a request, not a requirement......

Even PS vendors ask you to pay cash. They offer discounts on wire transfers which is the same thing as paying cash. It's not that sketchy for vendors to pay on their savings if you pay by a method which costs them less.

Sorry to me wire transfer and a wad of cash seem like different things to me, those provide paper trails

Don't be sorry. I get what you mean, there are paper trails, but you still can't get your money back if you think you've been done.

 

[Smith1942]

Hi, Bostonguy. I live in Boston, too.

Someone mentioned "a wad of cash" above. I don't think Bostonguy meant that he actually went into the store with twelve thousand dollars in bills, he just means he didn't pay with a credit card but with a debit card. I'm assuming.

You could try E.B. Horn in Boston. I've bought an awful lot there, and their prices are totally competitive with online vendors, and oftentimes less expensive. My SA is really good; her name is Irene, and I've always got amazing prices from her. Maybe they could do something for you to make you happy. They are a major engagement ring jeweller for Boston so they might want your stone, as they would probably be able to re-sell quite easily. I was sitting next to a vey wealthy couple at dinner the other night, and they had just got engaged. They were an older couple; second marriage. They had purchased her 2.5-carat ring at E.B. Horn and were very happy.

Off-topic, but they have a LOVELY selection of Tiffany pre-owned jewellery, which is in prefect condition. If you really can't do anything about the ring, you could get her something from there as a nice extra, like a pair of diamond earrings. All the E.B. Horn estate Tiffany is in great condition.

Good luck!

 

[CharmedOne]

Maybe get a plain solitaire setting with a 2mm band. That would really highlight the stone and make it look bigger. No sure what the setting looks like now but sometimes the setting can make the diamond look smaller. I would go with a six prong solitaire but she may like a four prong or maybe even a little thinner band. They are classic, timeless and they expose the diamond to more light. They are not that expensive and then you can take your time to decide what to do at a later date.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, that kind of setting in white gold would be probably $1500 or less unless it was a designer brand or something. I definitely wouldn't change the setting since that is not the problem.

Do you have a GIA report on this stone? If so, if you give us the report # and exact weight of the stone, we can look it up. Was the G stone a GIA graded stone?

 

[bostonguy2012]

Hi All --

So yes, a basically did pay with a wad of cash...(stupid, I know)...paid him several hundred dollars each day for several days... and then paid in in increments every other week. (no paper trail at all)

Is it weird to give out the GIA certificate number?

Yes, the previous G stone WAS GIA certified...I didn't feel comfortable NOT going the route of GIA..

Also, for the record, the only reason I went with this guy was because a good friend of mine ranted and raved about him and this and that (so i obviously trusted him and the work this guy did / does)

We are going to visit a family friend who is a jeweler on Saturday to see what she can offer / has to say. Why didn't I go with her to begin with you ask? Well I wanted to do everything 'on my own' without the help from Daddy. Seems like i should have though, huh?

 

[Gypsy]

No. Honestly most family and friend jewelers are bad recommendations. Don't expect this one to be any better. Go in with your eyes open, ask questions, and be prepared to keep your wallet in your pocket, verify anything they offer you, and think on it overnight.

They may offer you more on trade in... but if they charge you more on the new stone it will even out.

You need to get the best deal OVER ALL.

And if it sounds to good to be true, it is. NO MATTER WHAT that person is a sales person.

Do not lose sight of your good sense. My advice was, evaluate everything they tell you as if they are a used sales man.

Also do not fall prey to high pressure sales tactics. Any REPUTABLE jeweler will be willing to hold any offer over night at least. So none of that "if you buy it RIGHT NOW, I'll do this for you. But you have to make a decision now."

NO. The response to that is, "I'm going to have to pass. I do not do ANY transaction that is high pressure and immediate buy. If you are willing to keep the offer open for 24 hours I may change my mind but if you continue to stress an immediate response then the answer will stay 'no, thank you.'"

 

[LaraOnline]

Great discussion here, hope it's useful for you, OP.

I wouldn't beat myself up about the original choice of jeweller if I were you.
Sounds to me like he did his best to meet your needs, and then (being human) is annoyed about how it's all worked out.

I also think it's quite unlikely the jeweller is deliberately misleading you as to the material of the head being platinum vs white gold.

Personally, if you are not in a position to go all around again re selling and buying a new stone, I would seriously consider re-doing the set.
Goldfish is right, a halo will make a very dramatic difference to the appearance of the ring, it will appear much larger, and very sparkly!

Or, CharmedOne's suggestion of a very thin band (1.8mm-2mm) in say a six-prong, also will help the diamond pop. And she said, it's substantially cheaper than a lovely pave halo. I love this style of simple setting and have one myself.

Or maybe you could even consider a three stone?

Personally, I feel the setting can make quite a big difference as to how the diamond is perceived.

 

[Doc_1]

Would you please post pics of the setting and the diamond?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I agree with Gypsy. Some of the absolute worst situations we have heard of here were from the "friend of the family" jeweler. I would avoid that situation due to the awkwardness of it. You almost always will be able to get a better diamond at a better price online (and some of these vendors do have stores as well).

There is no reason I can think of not to post the GIA report number. That way we can at least say what we think of the diamond you have.

Did that jeweler write you a sales receipt? If not, is the ring insured?

 

[Smith1942]

Setting with a halo is a fantastic idea to maximize perceived size, in my opinion.

The stone does sound lovely. Is there any chance she could live with it? That size will look really big in a nice halo.

 

[bostonguy2012]

The ring is NOW insured...after much pressure from my Dad to get on top of it. (I recently moved and unfortunately didn't get around to insuring it....stupid, I know.)

GIA number 2136094633

She is more of a fan of the single solitaire setting rather than the halo (which seem to be popular these days)

I think right now I am leaning towards a new setting or just waiting at least a year and then go from there. I'll know what my current financial situation is (better, worse, etc.) but we'll see....

 

[bostonguy2012]

and yes, the jeweler DID write me a sales receipt with the final total cost and what it cost me

 

[Smith1942]

Agree with DS and Gypsy re friend-of-family scenarios. My friend went that route for her wedding dress.....it did not turn out well. This "family friend" seemed to feel no obligation to treat her any better than any other customer, the dress wasn't right, he refused to take it back, and she had to buy another. I think her dad still doesn't know. And the second dress was also from the same man - because she had to keep the family friendship sweet! Oh, I know, that is wrong on so many levels. But that's what ended up happening.

I must say, given how how you've already spent, I'm leaning towards re-setting the current stone. Could we see pictures of the ring? It would be easier.

 

[Smith1942]

Ah, we posted at the same time. OK, if she likes the single solitaire look but doesn't like halos, how about a nice bezel? They also do a great job of maximizing size.