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Help me with my ring - warning - long post

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jadove

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 25, 2006
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Hi! I was hoping you could help me. Originally, I told my fiance what I wanted for my e-ring. I wanted it to be like the Vera Wang setting. That was my only input into the ring. I was sooooooo happy when he proposed, but I was not happy with the ring. First of all, I hated the six prongs! The vera wang setting had 4 prongs, and the band and prongs were soooo much thinner then what I originally had. A few days after I received it, I told him how I felt. Initially he was upset, but we went back to the jewler together to have it changed. However, they were having problems doing what I wanted, so I picked a very plain setting and that was that. For a while, I liked my plain setting, but I was never in love with it. I thought the jeweler had done a sloppy job - for example the tips of the prongs always seemed uneven to me, and there was a bar connectng the prongs that looked crooked.

Then about 6 wks ago the diamond came loose, and I took it as an opportunity to have my e-ring reset. I went to a new jewelers and found a setting that I thought I loved. I always thought that the band was a bit thick, but the people in the store and my mother convinced me that it was OK, since a thinner band would not be as sturdy. It is a pave band, and I bought the e-ring and the wedding band together at the same time. I posted the pictures earlier, and I will post them again.

Everytime I look at the ring, I think the band is too thick! I don''t know what to do! I never really asked about the return policy, and didn''t think there would be one since it was a custom job, and I saw the exact ring in the store before I bought it. But now a few stones have fallen out of the pave setting, to make the story more complicated. I have to take it back to have th stones fixed...but should I bother asking if I can get a thinner band? I feel so bad about this. My fiance thinks I am crazy, and so do all of my friends. I am the only person I know who has had three different settings in 9 months.

Honest opinions - are the bands too thick? I think the overpower my 1.5 carat stone and make it look small....which it isn''t!!!

Here is my new ring:

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Here it is with the wedding band:

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Honestly-

I think it''s perfect! I love it
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Personally, I absolutely LOVE it. Of course, first of all, seeing pics online is not the same as seeing the set in person, and second of all, I''m not wearing it!
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You are talking to someone who has also had three settings in a little under two years
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, so I know what you are going through with your fiance and friends thinking you are crazy! But don''t worry, everyone here on PS will totally understand your situation.

I would go back to the jeweler and tell him/her exactly what is bothering you...i.e. the thickness of the bands, the missing stones. Maybe they will be willing to make a deal. Otherwise, it might just be worth it for you to buy a totally new setting if this setting is just going to make you upset everytime you look at it.

Oh, and if you are able to find a new setting, don''t let anyone talk you into a setting you don''t completely love. That is what happened with one of my settings, and I quickly decided that the setting was just not for me, but I was stuck with it. If you are hesitating at all with a setting, definitely think about it for a while before many any decisions.
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Choosing an engagement ring is really hard and sometimes you don''t realize what you like or don''t like until you''ve worn it awhile so don''t feel bad. That being said personally I think your rings are just gorgeous as they are! They don''t seem that thick in the pictures and they certainly don''t make your diamond look small. The Vera Wang set you like is gorgeous, but those bands are REALLY thin. I am concerned though that you are having stones fall out of your pave already and think it is important to take that up with your jeweler. It wouldn''t hurt to visit with him about the width of the rings at the same time to see what your options might be.
 
Oh, and I would definitely be thinking about the fact that you have only owned this setting for less than 6 weeks and already you have missing stones! For a lot of people, pave is just not appropriate for daily wear. Just some thoughts
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I wouldn''t change a thing! I love, love, love it just the way it is...seriously!
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Your rings are still thin...besides, I think that real delicate, thin look will eventually go out of style. I sometimes wish my ring was a little thicker and sturdier. Your diamond looks huge, so don''t worry about that. I absolutely love your set. It will wear better over time than a 2mm (or so) band. I saw it the first time you posted it, and I was immediately drawn to it. Hope this helps!
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It sounds like you have a few different things going on.

1) I don''t think the e-ring bands are too think, but I have definitely seen thinner bands with only one row of pave that are safe. Ritani rings for example. The style of rings you have seem to almost be 3 rows but have a Michael Beaudry look to them. It''s just a matter of preference. I think they look great but you are the one who has to love them. I am one of the most indecisive people when it comes to settings and there have been a few here who have changed their minds and bought different settings more than once..those of you know who you are
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2) about the pave stones falling out. I think I remember your other thread and honestly, that shouldn''t be happening. Pave can cause problems and we''ve heard of even designer pieces having a problem from time to time but multiple stones in a short period of time makes me think it''s a workmanship/craftmenship issue. I would definitely address the jeweler with your concerns, find out if there is any kind of trade in or return policy based on defective or workmanship problems and go from there.
 
I think the rings look fabulous! I would be concerned though about losing stones this early on. If I was going to change the rings, it would be because of this issue - not the look. I really think it is a pretty set and no I don''t think the bands overpower the stone. Honest Injun!
 
the rings are pretty but you aren''t happy with them. maybe you should have just gotten the vera wang ring to begin with? i have not seen another ring as thin as the vera wang with pave to be honest, they are something like 1.5mm? too thin IMO. i can see any ring under 2mm like that having problems in the future depending on how you plan to wear it.

but the other issue is you already have had pave falling out. that is really not supposed to happen that often and in the first 6 weeks, what a pain? have you thought a sturdier less pave encrusted setting? sometimes for some people that is really what they need.

sure these diamond encrusted things are lovely but in reality i feel like they are not practical for everyday wear. and the thinner you make it, the less metal you have to hold in those tiny stones which can lead to breakage not just lost melee.

anyway i think you need to figure out what you really want to do, you haven''t been happy thus far and aren''t happy again. before making any more changes, sit down and really THINK about what YOU WANT. and then do it. and hopefully for the last time. maybe go the retail branded route if you think it will make a difference but honestly i think the VW settings are too thing for regular long-term wear. good luck!
 
I REALLY like it. It looks like the perfect width.

Look, I thought I wanted really really thin and I got it. My stone is set in Ritani's Endless Love, and guess what? I wish it were thicker.
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It's too thin for me and drives me crazy.

I'm driving my FI crazy.

Your ring/band are beautiful!
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Not too thick at all.
 
Why am I getting so many deadlock victim errors today!??!!?

I will try to remember what I just wrote -

I like the setting alot, though it is on the thicker side when paired with the matching wedding band. It does look very nice though. However, you should not be losing stones like this. If the setting is defective, it may be an out for you to get something else. You should definitely talk to the jeweler.
 
oh one more thing, i really loved the MB petite princess rings but the retail cost was too much for me to stomach. we talked to our jeweler and he said he didnt recommend those pave rings for daily wear anyway that it was asking for trouble and told us a few horror stories with too little metal, too many stones kind of thing.

his wife had an eternity ring that was prong set not pave and not shared prong but 4 prongs holding each stone. a little more metal and a little more thick than i wanted, at the time i wanted 2mm rings but the end result was like 2.8mm and i thought it was too thick but it's super sturdy. i've since had WF shave it down to more like 2.6 and my wedding ring with smaller stones is 2.3mm and i have not had a problem at all with the melee. there is enough metal to hold the stones in and i can knock it around and not really worry. knock on wood of course!! but also i am a clumsy girl who likes to wear her rings alot and not worry about them, so a little extra thickness made sense for me.

my point is that what we REALLY want inside our hearts is not always the BEST SETTING for us. i got something a little different than what i wanted (super thin pave melee eternity bands) but it was close enough (a little thicker eternity melee prong bands), and it has held up fabulously for 3 years now and i hope it will continue to do so. and i don't worry an ounce about it. so when you are figuring out what you want, think about what is realistic for you, your lifestyle, your habits, and how much maintenance you want on a ring to have it 'look' visually the way you want. is the tradeoff worth it?
 
HI, I personally don''t think that the bands look too thin at all, but if you are not happy with it, then maybe you should have just gotten the VW setting to begin with. I would be upset though about the loose pave.

I tried on the VW settings myself when I was looking for a new set, but they were too thin for me personally and I went with the Ritani set instead. Believe it or not, but the VW setting is much thinner than the Ritani that I chose and the Ritani''s are super thin IMHO.
I do love the prongs on the VW settings though, I love how there are diamonds on the prongs.
Sometimes the best thing to do is get what you really wanted in the first place.
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jadove - I LOVE your setting and think it just beautiful! But you should NOT be losing stones (at all - but ESPECIALLY not at this rate!!) And if you aren''t in love with the way it looks...I think you should find something you really do love.

As for the thin settings...I know Mara (& well, a number of other people too) and I have an ongoing disagreement as to the sturdiness of the narrow bands. My stance is that if a jeweler tells you that they can''t make it so that it will be structurally sound at under 2mm then THEY CAN''T! So don''t let them! BUT if you do find someone (like Vera Wang or Ritani) who does it on a regular basis and is an expert at that type of micropave...you''ll find that people are NOT complaining about lost stones or bent bands or any of the stereotypical too-thin-pave issues. I have honestly knocked my Vera Wang setting around a LOT and it is not remotely showing the damage. It''s just a matter of it being difficult work that you shouldn''t trust someone who hasn''t done it ten million times to do. But if you read threads by people who have actually had Vera Wang and Ritani settings, I cannot think of a single instance in which someone has lost pave from their setting, or bent their narrow band.

As for people thinking the look is "too thin" or that it will go out of style...I cannot tell you how many people have said that my ring is the most beautiful one they have ever seen precisely BECAUSE it is so thin and elegant. If that''s not your taste, you are certainly welcome to your opinion, but I have never once had a hint of "I wish my band were wider" thoughts, nor am I remotely concerned about it going out of style.

That said...jadove, I really DON''T think your bands are too wide! If I were you, I think I might try getting a single row of pave instead of the three sided, because I think maybe the rounded effect of your bands is what is making you think that they are dominating the center stone? In any case, you should NOT have to settle for a setting which is constantly losing melee, and I personally would probably ask if there was any way to get a refund and start fresh with a new setting which you LOVE, and really make sure you don''t settle for something that''s just close to what you love, because you might never be happy with it. Good luck!
 
i wanted to also say that the ritani rings are not micro-pave, they are channel set melee which is different, so IMO they are sturdier than something like a MB petite princess or the VW or any of the leon mege encrusted creations etc. if someone wanted a super thin setting with melee i would say get the ritani ones like kayla''s because those seem like they would hold up better with how they are built.

but again, really i think most of it comes down to what your priorities are and then going from there. aka even if i wanted a thinner setting and loved the VW and thought i could make it work, not being able to use the ultrasonic would totally kill it for me etc. just cover all your mental bases when planning the next setting!
 
Date: 4/3/2006 5:42:53 PM
Author: Mara
i wanted to also say that the ritani rings are not micro-pave, they are channel set melee which is different,


I'm wondering what the exact difference in the rings are. The ritani websites state's that the endless love rings are pave...and a description on Pearlman's website say's they are micropave too. looks like bead set pave in this picture to me
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oh and I do agree about not being able to put it in the ultrasonic, i'm thinking that would drive me nuts too. but i think Kayla does it anyway
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eta: somehow I kept your font
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Date: 4/3/2006 5:42:53 PM
Author: Mara
i wanted to also say that the ritani rings are not micro-pave, they are channel set melee which is different, so IMO they are sturdier than something like a MB petite princess or the VW or any of the leon mege encrusted creations etc.

That is a good point. BUT, since the Vera Wang isn''t full eternity (it''s 3/4s) the only easily whackable part of the ring doesn''t even have pave, plus as I''ve said, the pave really is stuck in there securely. And it''s not three-sided which is where you get to have the tiniest amount of metal holding it all together. I feel a bit like a broken record now though, so I''ll stop!
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But don''t forget that people have a million different problems with a million different types of settings, so choosing a shared prong or channel set or whatever won''t necessarily make it "safer" - it will just give you a different set of risks to be worried about!
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But really, your setting SHOULD be pretty low maintenance which this current one does not sound like it is....
 
Date: 4/3/2006 5:57:07 PM
Author: mrssalvo

I''m wondering what the exact difference in the rings are. The ritani websites state''s that the endless love rings are pave...and a description on Pearlman''s website say''s they are micropave too. looks like bead set pave in this picture to me
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My impression is that while the Ritani ones are technically beadset pave, they still have channel-set type walls on either side of them. The term "channel-set" is only technically appropriate when the channels are the ONLY thing holding the melee in place, but in the case of the Ritani''s (and my VW wedding band), the beads are really holding the pave in, but the channel-type walls are offering protection if you whack the rings. The difference Mara is pointing out (I think) is that my VW engagement ring does not have any walls at all so the top sides of the melee are not protected.

Correct me if I''m wrong anyone....
 
Here is a pic of my bead-set wedding ring next to my engagement ring. You can see how the wedding ring has the walls on either side whereas the e-ring doesn''t.

(More pics here if you''re curious)

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Date: 4/3/2006 6:03:04 PM
Author: albicocca
Date: 4/3/2006 5:57:07 PM

Author: mrssalvo


I''m wondering what the exact difference in the rings are. The ritani websites state''s that the endless love rings are pave...and a description on Pearlman''s website say''s they are micropave too. looks like bead set pave in this picture to me
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My impression is that while the Ritani ones are technically beadset pave, they still have channel-set type walls on either side of them. The term ''channel-set'' is only technically appropriate when the channels are the ONLY thing holding the melee in place, but in the case of the Ritani''s (and my VW wedding band), the beads are really holding the pave in, but the channel-type walls are offering protection if you whack the rings. The difference Mara is pointing out (I think) is that my VW engagement ring does not have any walls at all so the top sides of the melee are not protected.


Correct me if I''m wrong anyone....

oh, well that makes sense..thank you...see I learn something new here everyday
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I love your set exactly as it is. Your center stone still looks huge. The bands don''t look thick at all. In fact, for 3-row pave they seem remarkably slender.
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Date: 4/3/2006 5:39:24 PM
Author: albicocca
jadove - I LOVE your setting and think it just beautiful! But you should NOT be losing stones (at all - but ESPECIALLY not at this rate!!) And if you aren''t in love with the way it looks...I think you should find something you really do love.

As for the thin settings...I know Mara (& well, a number of other people too) and I have an ongoing disagreement as to the sturdiness of the narrow bands. My stance is that if a jeweler tells you that they can''t make it so that it will be structurally sound at under 2mm then THEY CAN''T! So don''t let them! BUT if you do find someone (like Vera Wang or Ritani) who does it on a regular basis and is an expert at that type of micropave...you''ll find that people are NOT complaining about lost stones or bent bands or any of the stereotypical too-thin-pave issues. I have honestly knocked my Vera Wang setting around a LOT and it is not remotely showing the damage. It''s just a matter of it being difficult work that you shouldn''t trust someone who hasn''t done it ten million times to do. But if you read threads by people who have actually had Vera Wang and Ritani settings, I cannot think of a single instance in which someone has lost pave from their setting, or bent their narrow band.

As for people thinking the look is ''too thin'' or that it will go out of style...I cannot tell you how many people have said that my ring is the most beautiful one they have ever seen precisely BECAUSE it is so thin and elegant. If that''s not your taste, you are certainly welcome to your opinion, but I have never once had a hint of ''I wish my band were wider'' thoughts, nor am I remotely concerned about it going out of style.

That said...jadove, I really DON''T think your bands are too wide! If I were you, I think I might try getting a single row of pave instead of the three sided, because I think maybe the rounded effect of your bands is what is making you think that they are dominating the center stone? In any case, you should NOT have to settle for a setting which is constantly losing melee, and I personally would probably ask if there was any way to get a refund and start fresh with a new setting which you LOVE, and really make sure you don''t settle for something that''s just close to what you love, because you might never be happy with it. Good luck!
Albi I can''t agree with your post more!

Also re: the US cleaner and micropave, Quest told me that I should be able to clean my ring in the US everyday with no problem..but just to be safe..I do it in the basket and on normal and so far *knock on wood* no problems. They said that putting micropave rings in their industrial US cleaner for long periods of time is the way they test the integrity of micropave rings like mine. I know diamondlil and lmurden use US with no problems either...and I believe Kaleigh does with her asscher now.

jadove: Actually, I really adore your set! But if it bothers you, you''re the one wearing it so you should be happy! But if it was custom, its usually nonrefundable unless your jeweler is just really nice
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yes thats what I meant re: channel set...if you look at kayla's pictures her rings all have the channel of metal protecting the diamonds on the sides, and then the bead set inside I believe...so it's like TWO methods of protection whereas alof the micropave melee we see on here (and your own setting jadove), is just all the tiny stones held in by the beads and to me that's just asking for it. ESP three sided or the 'encrusted' ones like the LM styles. i also think that the more stones you have the more you have to worry about!

some people say US'ing micropave is fine, others say don't do it, so hard to say there is a definitive answer going on. i probably would just because i'd rather the stones fall out IN the US than elsewhere...but i know alot of people do not want to test fate!
 
I really, really love the width of your rings but agree that if they bother YOU maybe you should change them.
 
JADOVE: I think your set is to die for
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Absolutely GORGEOUS and your diamond is huge! But it isn''t what I or anyone else thinks. What it sounds like to me is both sets that you have changed to you were talked into or convinced of one way or another and therefore I wouldn''t expect you to end up being head over heels for. My opinion is that you should address returning the ring not because you don''t like the thickness but simply address the fact your diamonds are falling out - totally unacceptable after 6 wks! Search for a new set and don''t let anyone or anything but the ring convince you of its perfection! Deciding you will eventually like it is not finding what you want but settling on something simply adequate. Good luck and I am sorry to hear you have had so many frustrations with you rings!
 
Your rings look beautiful just as they are, but I understand how you can still have issues. You are not alone!

I have two e-ring settings and I may end up with a third.
The longer I wear the rings, the more I learn about what I need in a ring I wear daily. I have never worn a lot of jewelry til now.

Cheer up.
You need to get back to the jeweler and push for resolution on the quality issues.

Maybe you can write a list of pros & cons about what you like in different settings.
Inevitably there has to be some compromise, but at least you'll know what your priorities are.

(what's really embaressing is that I now have THREE wedding bands! I ordered the first one just weeks before the wedding: a 3mm Jabel die-struck 18yg band. Can you believe my naivete? I was in a rush and didn't have time shop a lot for wedding bands. I thought, "oh it's just a gold band- aren't they all the same?"
Then, when I switched to e-ring #2, I bought a curved ring to match it. And, most recently, I got a 2.5mm band just becuase it looked a little better with e-ring#1 which I recently had repaired by Quest. Alas, that e-ring just still isn't right and I feel I just need to start over. So maybe I will follow my own advice about writing a list.)
 
Thanks everyone for your compliments about my ring and for your good advice.

I am most certainly going to go to my jewler and deal with the issue of the diamonds falling out of my band. I am just taking a few more days to decide if I want to take this as an opportunity to talk to them about the thickness of then band as well.

When I first saw the setting in the store, I was drawn to it immediately and looked at a number of different bands, but always went back to this one. As I mentioned earlier, I thought it was a bit thick, but decided that it would be OK. After I ordered it, I had a sneaking suspicion that it was too thick...but I didn''t do anything. When I got it, I liked it and got lots and lots of comliments on it. Sometimes I look at it and love it, and other times I look at it and think that it is too thick. Then sometimes I look at it and wish I had a more simple setting, without any diamonds in the band. As you can tell, I am having a VERY hard time making up my mind and I am driving myself totally crazy.

I am going to think about it more tomorrow and then probably go to the jewelers on Wednesday. Thanks again everyone for understanding!
 
I love your ring the way it is too. But you are the one that has to be happy with it. You are the only one to know what you really want.
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beautiful ring!!!
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nothing wrong with it.
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