How completely sad and pathetic is this?!

[gwendolyn]

Every once in a while my boyfriend and I do what we call virtual dates (he''s in England, I''m in the US)--usually it''s watching the same show or movie at the same time, and commenting to each other about it as we go along, so it''s sorta kinda almost like being together to watch it (except of course without the snuggles...).

Anyway, yesterday we were talking about how in our 2.5+ years together, we haven''t ever done anything especially summery together ever (his family business is open during the summer and airfare''s been too expensive for me to visit him then). He lives in Scarborough, which is a summer holiday destination for lots of folks, and the water is beeyooooootiful there. Lots of places open for business on the boardwalk, and there are a few winding roads that we walked along back in March and April (when it was pretty chilly) that have gorgeous views of the sea. So I said that I wished we could do something normal together like most other couples get to do, like just get some ice cream and go walk near the water together!

Obviously, with us about 3500 miles apart, this is a no-can-do. So, we decided to do it virtually!! Sorta.

First I pretended to be the ice cream server, and took his order, and charged (or tried to charge) him an exorbitant amount for his ice cream. Then I quickly ordered my own so he couldn''t try to take his pile of virtual money back away from me, and now of course we''re just talking about ice cream (and how England doesn''t really have Ben & Jerry''s, the sad place) because there isn''t a whole lot you can do when pretending to get ice cream to walk around together because the whole idea of it is to just spend time together! Which we can''t do now. Blarg.

Anyway, I feel slightly nuts with the distance (haven''t seen him since I dropped him off at the airport on April 28th and then I spent the next 4 days crying) and have attemped to try to make it feel not so bad, but I''m not entirely sure this plan worked. Anyway! I do have pictures of our lovely ice creams!

Here''s his, with a "99" on top of it (had to do some more cultural learning to find that it''s a special type of Flake candy bar designed to be put on ice cream cones):

 

[gwendolyn]

And here''s mine! I know this is sad and pathetic and probably very dorky, but it''s really hard to spend sooooooooooooo much time apart! Sometimes these things make me feel a little better, and sometimes they just make things worse.

Oh well. At least the ice cream looks yummy. And this is the calorie-free kind since all I''m doing is gazing upon it!

Always look on the bright side of life, right? Le sigh....38 more days until liftoff...

 

[bee*]

mmm I love the look of your ice-cream! I''ve never been apart from my bf as we live 10 mins apart so I can''t imagine how hard it is to do the long distance thing. The time will fly by until you''re living in the UK and then you can get a real ice cream cone together

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 8/9/2007 7:44:21 PM
Author: bee*
mmm I love the look of your ice-cream! I''ve never been apart from my bf as we live 10 mins apart so I can''t imagine how hard it is to do the long distance thing. The time will fly by until you''re living in the UK and then you can get a real ice cream cone together

Thank you for replying to my completely crazy posts, my dear--you are very sweet. There are days when the distance isn''t so bad, and other days like today when it feels absolutely excrutiating. All I was looking for was a little reassurance that it''ll all be over soon (in an incredibly round-about way, I know), so thanks for listening.

 

[sleeping beauty]

ohhh gwen, thats cute of you guys.... virtual ice cream.. and can i say it looks so yummy.. i could sure use one of those right now. and dont worry you guys will be together before you know it. hang in there.

 

[Sha]

I think it''s cute too. If these rituals make you feel closer to him, then by all means! You have to do what you have to do to get by.

That green icecream looks yummy.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Hey, Gwyn,

I just want to tell you that your post was really sweet. My FI and I were long distance the first year of our relationship and we used to go on "virtual" dates, too. We used to rent the same movie, turn it on at the same time (this usually took several tries, haha) and then watch it together.

I know it''s really tough right now, but I know that you''ll look back on this fondly and get all sentimental when you think about your virtual dates. And it''s great that you two find ways to connect even though you''re so far apart.

We recently ordered our wedding bands and my FI had a reference from the first movie we "watched" together (over the phone) over 8 years ago and it was really meaningful for me.

When do you get to see him next, Gwyn?

 

[monarch64]

I think this is one of the sweetest things I''ve ever read here! DH and I were LD for about 5 months, and it was tough! We were only three hours apart, but we talked on the phone every single night. The only time in our whole 6 years together including dating to now where we didn''t talk to each other at least once a day was when he went to Canada on a guy''s fishing trip and they were such a remote location that even cell phones wouldn''t work. Those were a rough ten days for both of us, but the reunion was all the more exciting!

 

[wolftress]

Aww Gwendolyn, that is so sweet! I think it''s wonderful that you two come up with ideas to keep the relationship alive and interesting despite the distance. I''m sure when you are finally living together in person, these will be sweet memories for both of you.

DH and I were apart for a three months at the start of our relationship and it was very, very difficult to feel connected to him because of the distance. I wish we could have been as imaginative as you and some of the other PS ladies here and made virtual dates with each other to do stuff together

 

[hazel_eyes]

Awwwww.....Gwendolyn...that is such a cute story!
I know the wait must be really difficult.....I was apart from my BF for 3 months last year when I went travelling and left him behind and I''ll swear some days it physically hurt me not to be able to see his face every day......
I can only imagine what you''re going through. Be strong, you''ll be together soon I''m sure.

 

[Delster]

You are just so sweet gwendolyn. I love your ice-cream date! Keep ticking down those days, it won''t be too much longer now...

I''d love to have a date to be aiming for but BF and I just have no idea when we''ll be in the same place. Just this week he''s been asked to write a proposal for a million pound grant to commercialise his PhD. It would mean clinical trials in the third world. While this is great for him and I''m so proud, we''ve been apart for three years already, so I can''t help feeling like:

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

Ladies I need to take long distance tips from you all, you sound like so much fun!

 

[gwendolyn]

You ladies are all really, REALLY sweet! I honestly feel like a complete and utter loon sometimes, scraping for as much normalcy as we can get in our relationship, especially since I''m at that point in life when alllllllll of my friends have gotten engaged (last year) and married (this year). They sometimes forget what I''m going through and complain about not getting to see their man for a whole weekend or something--which I know is hard for them when they''re used to seeing him every day, but I haven''t seen mine since April 28th!

Delster, I completely feel your pain. If I wasn''t flying out to England soon (September 16th, so I''ll see him the morning of the 17th!), I''d be driving myself completely bonkers by now (well, more bonkers than I am presently

). How are you coping? What kinds of things are you doing to help the distance?

I''ve found packages help a lot--physical things somehow help lessen the distance for me. I''ve asked him to send me dumb stuff, like his aftershave so I can still smell him when I miss him badly, or ticket stubs to things we did together that are just collecting dust on his shelves. That kind of stuff. Obviously it''s nice if/when he tosses in little things he got just for me (he likes to send chocolate, which is cute, but NOT healthy--I''m trying to change the chocolate impulse into the jewelry impulse, bwahahaha), but he''s also saving for an engagement ring and for us to live together, so I don''t want him making frivolous purchases either. But getting a big lumpy envelope or a nice-sized box in the mail ALWAYS feels good.

 

[redfaerythinker]

Wow... that''s a really good idea. My boyfriend and I are also long distance, although not as far apart as you all. But I may have to try that. So cute!

 

[Mandarine]

awww...so cute!!! that is so sweet!

The ice cream looks yummmmm

M~

 

[KimberlyH]

gwendolyn,

My husband and I dated LD for about a year, we went on "dates" all of the time, watched TV and movies, ate together, the list goes on. I think it''s adorable that you guys went on an ice cream date together. It certainly kept us close when we were so far apart, enjoy every minute of it, you''re creating fond memories.

 

[Alienor]

Gwendolyn (pretty name by the way),
You are not silly at all. Your virtual dates make you feel closer to your sweetie.
I was in LG the first year of my relationship and i empathize with you.
It is tough but it will make you appreciate him more once you are able to live together. You won''t take things for granted.
And who knows...maybe in September, he will propose. This is all the happiness i wish you.
When you feel down, just come talking to us or go out. Do not stay alone, change your mind.
I used to go the gym when i missed my honey. It helped a lot.

Keep us updated.

 

[Dandi]

Aww gwen, you are such a darling

It must be so hard for the two of you, I almost feel guilty for taking for granted such simple things as being able to share an icecream with my FI in person! I hope the next 6 weeks fly by for you! xox

 

[Sassee]

Yeah I think its a lovely thing to do!

I thought I had it tough because my man bases himself an hour from the city and only comes to visit approx once a weeknight and then we spend weekends together.

But across the Atlantic is really tough!

Just think though, that your reunion will be all the sweeter and the time you have spent apart has only consolidated your relationship and probably made you realise that you can get through just about anything!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Thank you, ladies! I really was feeling like a mutant before, but you''ve made me feel heaps better. Thanks!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

I think it is completley sweet!

 

[Delster]

Date: 8/10/2007 10:27:46 AM
Author: gwendolyn
Delster, I completely feel your pain. If I wasn''t flying out to England soon (September 16th, so I''ll see him the morning of the 17th!), I''d be driving myself completely bonkers by now (well, more bonkers than I am presently

). How are you coping? What kinds of things are you doing to help the distance?

Um, we''re not half so creative as all you ladies on here, we need to take lessons from you all!!!

We Skype a lot. We text message. We never go to bed without ringing to say good night. We send surprise letters and leave surprises to be found while we''re away. We have little ''love tokens'' we exchange at unexpected moments (I picked them up somewhere or other - one says ''good for one hug'' and the other says ''someone loves you''). On the weekends that I go to him (which is most weekends - see next paragraph!) I spend every Friday and every Monday in my car driving the length of the country. Good job I love to drive!

On the weekends he comes up here it doesn''t work so well as we don''t get to spend so much time together (I live with my parents). Not to mention when he comes up here he arrives very late Friday night (as he can''t set off till after work), and then he has to leave early Sunday so he won''t be tired Monday morning.

We lived in each others'' pockets when we started going out first, for about the first 18 months or so, I miss him so much! But we''ve survived three years of this mess so we must be doing something right!