How do you cope with a terminal illness in the family?

[Deelight]

Sap I am really sorry to hear about your dad *hugs* My heart and prayers goes out to you and your family

Never ever ever give up hope, stay as positive as you can.


I don''t know what else to say sorry

.

 

[sap483]

Thank you for all of your kind words, thoughts, prayers and advice. Every single one of your posts has helped me in some way. It''s a lot easier sometimes for me to talk about this on here than with my friends and family. Everyone has so much going on in their own lives that I don''t want to burden them with my problems. So thank you for listening and caring, it really helps me.

For those of you who have had to deal with a similar situation or currently are in this situation, thank you for sharing your experience with me. I''m so sorry that you''re going through this, as others have said I would never wish this on anyone.

You all are right, I need to now make the most of the time I have with my dad. I like about an hour and a half away, so I plan on going to visit my parents at least weekly. In the past I haven''t been as good about seeing them that regulary- one of the regrets I''m starting to have. I want to also plan something really special for father''s day- I want to make as many new happy memories as possible. I''ve also decided to seek out a therapist to speak with-frekechild, you''re right that is a good idea for both of us!). You all are right, I need to take care of myself in order to be the most help to my parents, I think going to a therapist is a good first step in that direction.

 

[surfgirl]

sap, you've gotten some awesome advice here so I'm not going to repeat it. But I did want to share a story about a friend from college. He's mid 40's, was a smoker for years then quit, and a few years later, was diagnosed with brain cancer, and along with that they found a tumor in his lung. He wasn't given huge odds or hope of living very long. He had the brain tumor removed, then underwent radiation. Then he immediately underwent a more precise form of radiation called gamma knife radiation. That was immediately followed by chemo. He was a "lost cause" and in the end, he's still here, 3.5 years later he's cancer free. His doctors did aggressive treatments for him (he's got two teen girls and two small boys from a new marriage) so he wanted to go for whatever treatments were available. For him it worked. I'm not trying to give you false hope, only to say that when I heard "brain cancer" along with "Stage 4", I thought it was over. But it's not over til it's over and each person responds to treatments differently. I hope your father responds well to whatever treatment he chooses...but either way, your spending as much time with him/them as possible will be a wonderful thing that you can look back on and feel at peace with.

ETA: Good for you, seeking out counseling! It can only help you to cope and that's a good thing...

 

[ringster]

Date: 2/14/2008 3:37:51 PM
Author: sap483
Thank you for all of your kind words, thoughts, prayers and advice. Every single one of your posts has helped me in some way. It''s a lot easier sometimes for me to talk about this on here than with my friends and family. Everyone has so much going on in their own lives that I don''t want to burden them with my problems. So thank you for listening and caring, it really helps me.


For those of you who have had to deal with a similar situation or currently are in this situation, thank you for sharing your experience with me. I''m so sorry that you''re going through this, as others have said I would never wish this on anyone.


You all are right, I need to now make the most of the time I have with my dad. I like about an hour and a half away, so I plan on going to visit my parents at least weekly. In the past I haven''t been as good about seeing them that regulary- one of the regrets I''m starting to have. I want to also plan something really special for father''s day- I want to make as many new happy memories as possible. I''ve also decided to seek out a therapist to speak with-frekechild, you''re right that is a good idea for both of us!). You all are right, I need to take care of myself in order to be the most help to my parents, I think going to a therapist is a good first step in that direction.

i''m glad to hear that you are going to go to a counselor - i think that is a great idea.

also, you don''t have to wait for father''s day to plan something special!