How do you spend big $$ on jewelry?

[MissGotRocks]

Everyone spends money differently. Some people are offended just thinking about spending large sums of money. Thoughts on money change with age and points in your life. I buy what I wear and I like good quality. I don't mind spending the money on it as I thoroughly enjoy it every day. What I do mind is wasting money on something that I don't love or won't wear often. That to me is a waste of money. Many are collectors, some wouldn't dream of spending a boatload of money on one piece, some only buy preloved. I don't have to justify what I spend on anything to anyone except my husband as the money is ours. We do each have our own discretionary funds but still run big purchase by one another - just out of respect for each other. I don't plan on selling my jewelry unless for some reason down the road I would have to sell it. I have a daughter, DIL and granddaughter to leave it all to when I am gone.

However, I have to say, I bet if a piece of jewelry that someone really, really wants becomes available, they can throw all of their rationalizations out the window! As long as the funds are available, most people can justify almost anything. Nothing hurts as bad as the one that got away - lol!

 

[diamondyes]

Everyone spends money differently. Some people are offended just thinking about spending large sums of money. Thoughts on money change with age and points in your life. I buy what I wear and I like good quality. I don't mind spending the money on it as I thoroughly enjoy it every day. What I do mind is wasting money on something that I don't love or won't wear often. That to me is a waste of money. Many are collectors, some wouldn't dream of spending a boatload of money on one piece, some only buy preloved. I don't have to justify what I spend on anything to anyone except my husband as the money is ours. We do each have our own discretionary funds but still run big purchase by one another - just out of respect for each other. I don't plan on selling my jewelry unless for some reason down the road I would have to sell it. I have a daughter, DIL and granddaughter to leave it all to when I am gone.

However, I have to say, I bet if a piece of jewelry that someone really, really wants becomes available, they can throw all of their rationalizations out the window! As long as the funds are available, most people can justify almost anything. Nothing hurts as bad as the one that got away - lol!

You make a good point. I have an easier time buying things if they give me the “OMG I HAVE TO HAVE IT!” feeling.

 

[ringbling17]

For my engagement ring I upgraded it a few times over the years so the cost didn’t impact my wallet all at once. I also have it insured so if I did ever lose it (knock on wood) I know I can get a replacement.
For other purchases I always try to get the most bang for my buck and will look in the second hand market. The only time I will pay full retail is when the retail price is close to the second hand price.
Lastly I always buy things that either I really love and don’t care if I never sell it in the future, or know that I will be able to sell in the future if I ever get tired of it or need the funds.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Life is short. I’ve always tried to be disciplined in my spending - no spending money I don’t have, only spending out of my discretionary income, not tying up money I will “need” in jewelry, not buying willy nilly even if I can afford it etc.

But that being said, if I love it, and it’ll bring me happiness, and I will wear it (even if only occasionally), and I can justify it to myself - then yes, I will buy it. I try to restrict “big” spending on those items that I can recoup most of my money if I were to sell. For example, I asked my jeweler if I sold him back the studs I bought from him some years ago what I would get and I would essentially make back everything. That doesn’t seem as scary a proposition then, because I know if I ever do need the money I can get it. But at the same time I don’t expect to ever sell my jewelry. I buy jewelry for my own pleasure and to have a legacy to pass down to any children I may have.

So, in short, there’s no real dollar amount that I think is wholly unjustifiable, as long as two conditions are met: the item in question is worth the dollar amount, and that money is purely “fun money” for me.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Life is short. I’ve always tried to be disciplined in my spending - no spending money I don’t have, only spending out of my discretionary income, not tying up money I will “need” in jewelry, not buying willy nilly even if I can afford it etc.

But that being said, if I love it, and it’ll bring me happiness, and I will wear it (even if only occasionally), and I can justify it to myself - then yes, I will buy it. I try to restrict “big” spending on those items that I can recoup most of my money if I were to sell. For example, I asked my jeweler if I sold him back the studs I bought from him some years ago what I would get and I would essentially make back everything. That doesn’t seem as scary a proposition then, because I know if I ever do need the money I can get it. But at the same time I don’t expect to ever sell my jewelry. I buy jewelry for my own pleasure and to have a legacy to pass down to any children I may have.

So, in short, there’s no real dollar amount that I think is wholly unjustifiable, as long as two conditions are met: the item in question is worth the dollar amount, and that money is purely “fun money” for me.

Did your jeweler mean that you could trade in the studs and he would credit you what you initially paid toward a more expensive pair? Otherwise, he can’t make money selling them to you and then buying them back for the same amount of money. Diamond prices fluctuate so not sure how he could guarantee that he would be able to give you back what you paid for them. If you bought them many years ago and prices had increased, he might then be happy to refund you the original amount paid. It would just depend on the circumstances. I hope you have that in writing somewhere - not saying he is dishonest but people can say anything - KWIM?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I’m a pretty practical person, and I think I have a solid and comfortable balance between ‘treat yourself’ and ‘frugal’. I’m in the market for a big ring, but I’m having hesitations. I can afford it. This is not an ‘investment’ of any sort - but it bothers me that it would be pretty unlikely that I’d be able to recover the amount I spent on the ring. Does anyone else feel that way?

I am very practical, and at times, my frugal side and my jewelry loving side are in a battle! I have never bought jewelry with the thought of being able to recover my money if I ever sold it, because I my intent is to buy forever pieces. I buy on sale or second hand (like new) when possible. That said, I've had the chance to buy a few limited VCA pieces and have ended up selling them, because the opportunity at the time to obtain the items outweighed my actual need for them! I didn't lose any money because the items were like new and seen as desirable by others. I've lost a little money on odds and ends like empty settings and a few other things, but no big losses as I've pared down my collection. I am usually very intentional on buying high quality, heirloom-worthy pieces that I plan to hand down. (Although I do question whether my two main diamond rings might be too much for my daughters' lifestyles. ) I am trying to slow down and not collect much more because I don't want to buy things I'll never wear. Right now I feel content with what I have, so I can't see myself spending any other big money. I wouldn't mind a diamond bracelet, but I am not sure whether I'd get enough wear from it to justify getting it. I think part of it is just wanting to complete a set of classic diamond jewelry! I also question whether I should have upgraded my studs the last time, as beautiful as they are, because no one around me wears studs larger than a carat each, and most smaller than that. While I certainly have the right to buy and wear what I want (with my husband's agreement on the buying part), I just don't have a desire to stand out from the crowd in terms of what jewelry I wear. I never wear a lot at one time. So I think my mental struggle is a little different than yours, but we are both coming from a practical viewpoint in not wanting to potentially waste money even though we have it to spend!

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Did your jeweler mean that you could trade in the studs and he would credit you what you initially paid toward a more expensive pair? Otherwise, he can’t make money selling them to you and then buying them back for the same amount of money. Diamond prices fluctuate so not sure how he could guarantee that he would be able to give you back what you paid for them. If you bought them many years ago and prices had increased, he might then be happy to refund you the original amount paid. It would just depend on the circumstances. I hope you have that in writing somewhere - not saying he is dishonest but people can say anything - KWIM?

Ah I should’ve explained better but it was late at night for me when I typed out my post

The way it works in India (where I live) is that when you buy a diamond, you nearly always buy from a brick and mortar store, because online sales are not a thing. However, the prices you get are similar to US online retail or sometimes a tiny bit less, because margins/overheads are slimmer (depends on your jeweler). Also, most jewelers will provide consignment services and some will allow you to trade-in at full price on a case-by-case basis. But this is only for certified diamonds. I casually inquired about my studs (which I’d purchased from him years ago, 3ctw I VS2) and he said that he’d be happy to take them for trade-in; and that I’d likely turn a small profit if I asked him to consign instead. Though I actually have no intention of selling, I just wanted to have an idea.

My mom was with me, she showed him her anniversary ring and asked him what she would get if she consigned that and he quoted a number that had her falling off the chair, so it is possible if you hold on to something for long enough to actually turn a profit, though I am not saying diamonds are an investment or anything (accounting for inflation, especially india inflation which is like 7-8% per year, you are still likely at a loss or at best break even, or a very very minor real profit).

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I haven’t spent what would be considered “big money” here on any one piece. A lot of the joy I get from my pieces is knowing that I got a good deal on it at the time. Pretty much when something is added, something else gets subtracted and that’s how I manage to afford my collection.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Did your jeweler mean that you could trade in the studs and he would credit you what you initially paid toward a more expensive pair? Otherwise, he can’t make money selling them to you and then buying them back for the same amount of money. Diamond prices fluctuate so not sure how he could guarantee that he would be able to give you back what you paid for them. If you bought them many years ago and prices had increased, he might then be happy to refund you the original amount paid. It would just depend on the circumstances. I hope you have that in writing somewhere - not saying he is dishonest but people can say anything - KWIM?

Ah I should’ve explained better but it was late at night for me when I typed out my post

The way it works in India (where I live) is that when you buy a diamond, you nearly always buy from a brick and mortar store, because online sales are not a thing. However, the prices you get are similar to US online retail or sometimes a tiny bit less, because margins/overheads are slimmer (depends on your jeweler). Also, most jewelers will provide consignment services and some will allow you to trade-in at full price on a case-by-case basis. But this is only for certified diamonds. I casually inquired about my studs (which I’d purchased from him years ago, 3ctw I VS2) and he said that he’d be happy to take them for trade-in; and that I’d likely turn a small profit if I asked him to consign instead. Though I actually have no intention of selling, I just wanted to have an idea.

My mom was with me, she showed him her anniversary ring and asked him what she would get if she consigned that and he quoted a number that had her falling off the chair, so it is possible if you hold on to something for long enough to actually turn a profit, though I am not saying diamonds are an investment or anything (accounting for inflation, especially india inflation which is like 7-8% per year, you are still likely at a loss or at best break even, or a very very minor real profit).

Also one thing I forgot to add, this obviously doesnt apply to "jewelry pieces" like a tennis bracelet or something, where each stone is small and is essentially treated as melee.

That being said, some jewelers do have great policies. My own jeweler buys back his pieces above a certain value (as long as not worked on by someone else) at 90% of purchase price if you can provide proof of purchase. This is not unheard of here, but is fairly rare. Of course I would never sell unless I was really in need, but it's nice to have the option! It doesn't really apply for this discussion though, because I would only ever spend "big money" on jewelry if it was single stones, GIA certified. Sorry for the tangent!

 

[missy]

I have not yet read any replies. Just my own thoughts

I never spend more than I comfortably can. Never.
When I first met my husband I was way more conservative financially than I am now. Because that is how I was brought up.
I bought my first apartment in my twenties. In a great area of NYC. I paid off my 30 year mortgage in three years. I know many (most?) of you would call that foolhardy. To me peace of mind is everything and I would do it all over again.

When I first met my husband (then boyfriend) he was a big spender. Not because that is how he was brought up but because he was tired of living like a poor student all those years and finally he was earning good money and wanted to enjoy it. I mean we used to go out to 500$ plus dinners. In the 1990s. He was super generous (still is) with money and honestly that goes to who he really is. A very generous loving person. You can tell a lot about someone in the context of money.

When we became serious we met somewhere in the middle regarding finances. I like to think we are at a happy medium. We spend money to make life easier and more enjoyable but also save plenty so our retirement should be comfortable. I know we are lucky and I never take that for granted. NEVER. I grew up solidly middle class.

And while I never take money for granted I view it for what it is. Just money. And grateful for the financial freedom it affords us.

So I have zero guilt over any of my purchases bling included. Because we can afford it and it is not affecting our future finances in any significant way.

 

[Tonks]

This is such an interesting conversation, and it’s one of those things that is SO intensely personal and will vary from person to person and couple to couple. And also even within those situations, our circumstances change.

For instance, let me tell you a story.

At the beginning of our marriage, I remember vividly being at a cooking store and seeing a set of olivewood spoons. They were gorgeous. The striations in the wood, the way they were sanded so they felt almost like glass. They felt smooth and right in the hand, and I longed to bring them home and use them in the kitchen. I could see how stirring a mundane tomato sauce would be better with these spoons than the perfectly serviceable yet ordinary wood spoons I already had.

And yet. We could not afford for me to buy them. I mean, yes, I could have bought them, but disposable income was severely limited, and pretty spoons did not make the cut. Still, I never quite forgot those spoons.

This year for Christmas, nearly 20 years later, those spoons were in a package under the tree. And what was once a huge luxury is now no big deal. Note: it is hugely meaningful because of what it represents, but monetarily, the considerations are not nearly the same as they once were.

So I imagine it is the same with jewelry. What people would never consider purchasing at one life stage is perfectly manageable at another. PS is a place where it is difficult to really see where we all are, relative to stages of life. Some may be at the beginning of careers and marriages, others much farther into it and more well established. What counts as “big $$” changes.

Hope that helps.

 

[m-cubed]

I am lucky enough to make good money, and with my mom’s passing a few years ago, I now support only myself. While in theory I’ve got the money for some spectacular pieces, jewelry is just not at the top of my priority list. I really do not have much fine jewelry, although I certainly appreciate it.
I have a nice 5 stone diamond ring that was a huge purchase for me (though probably not for many PSers), which I justified by telling myself I’d wear it every day. I mostly have worn it every day I’ve been out since I got it in 2017, and I still love it, so I am very happy with that purchase and the money I spent. I have some nice lab diamond earrings, that again were a big $ amount for me, but I wear those most days I’m out. And that’s basically it for fine jewelry. I drool over items posted here, but I can’t justify devoting a big chunk of $ to things I would not wear all the time, particularly with my house still to be paid off. The more jewelry I get, logically the less I would wear each piece, so cost per wear goes up.
My house should be paid off in 2 years, so we’ll see what life looks like then. In the meantime, looking at all the pretties others post helps to scratch the itch. So keep posting ladies!

 

[yssie]

This is such an interesting conversation, and it’s one of those things that is SO intensely personal and will vary from person to person and couple to couple. And also even within those situations, our circumstances change.

For instance, let me tell you a story.

At the beginning of our marriage, I remember vividly being at a cooking store and seeing a set of olivewood spoons. They were gorgeous. The striations in the wood, the way they were sanded so they felt almost like glass. They felt smooth and right in the hand, and I longed to bring them home and use them in the kitchen. I could see how stirring a mundane tomato sauce would be better with these spoons than the perfectly serviceable yet ordinary wood spoons I already had.

And yet. We could not afford for me to buy them. I mean, yes, I could have bought them, but disposable income was severely limited, and pretty spoons did not make the cut. Still, I never quite forgot those spoons.

This year for Christmas, nearly 20 years later, those spoons were in a package under the tree. And what was once a huge luxury is now no big deal. Note: it is hugely meaningful because of what it represents, but monetarily, the considerations are not nearly the same as they once were.

So I imagine it is the same with jewelry. What people would never consider purchasing at one life stage is perfectly manageable at another. PS is a place where it is difficult to really see where we all are, relative to stages of life. Some may be at the beginning of careers and marriages, others much farther into it and more well established. What counts as “big $$” changes.

Hope that helps.

I loved your story Tonks. I hope your glassy spoons make you happy every time you stir your tomato sauce

 

[jaysonsmom]

My husband and I are both sentimental and don’t really buy “just ‘cos” gifts for each other. That being said, we only get symbolic gifts, and all my jewelry has meaning, eg, for my 50th birthday last month, I got a 50 pt. TW Diamonds by the yard necklace. We also budget significant anniversary upgrades according to the years we have been married, eg, 10 years, $10k, 20 years $20k…..we are currently at 22 years married, so next big purchase either at 25 or 30th anniversary. We don’t buy just to buy….rarely.

 

[elizat]

My husband and I are both sentimental and don’t really buy “just ‘cos” gifts for each other. That being said, we only get symbolic gifts, and all my jewelry has meaning, eg, for my 50th birthday last month, I got a 50 pt. TW Diamonds by the yard necklace. We also budget significant anniversary upgrades according to the years we have been married, eg, 10 years, $10k, 20 years $20k…..we are currently at 22 years married, so next big purchase either at 25 or 30th anniversary. We don’t buy just to buy….rarely.

This is quite sentimental and sweet! I like that. I picked a man that doesn't do gifts for any occasions at all. I think he'd rather eat dirt than even try to buy jewelry- or any gift honestly.

 

[diamondyes]

This is such an interesting conversation, and it’s one of those things that is SO intensely personal and will vary from person to person and couple to couple. And also even within those situations, our circumstances change.

For instance, let me tell you a story.

At the beginning of our marriage, I remember vividly being at a cooking store and seeing a set of olivewood spoons. They were gorgeous. The striations in the wood, the way they were sanded so they felt almost like glass. They felt smooth and right in the hand, and I longed to bring them home and use them in the kitchen. I could see how stirring a mundane tomato sauce would be better with these spoons than the perfectly serviceable yet ordinary wood spoons I already had.

And yet. We could not afford for me to buy them. I mean, yes, I could have bought them, but disposable income was severely limited, and pretty spoons did not make the cut. Still, I never quite forgot those spoons.

This year for Christmas, nearly 20 years later, those spoons were in a package under the tree. And what was once a huge luxury is now no big deal. Note: it is hugely meaningful because of what it represents, but monetarily, the considerations are not nearly the same as they once were.

So I imagine it is the same with jewelry. What people would never consider purchasing at one life stage is perfectly manageable at another. PS is a place where it is difficult to really see where we all are, relative to stages of life. Some may be at the beginning of careers and marriages, others much farther into it and more well established. What counts as “big $$” changes.

Hope that helps.

So so true. 10 years ago I bought my husband some drinking glasses as a Valentine’s gift, it was 4 for $X and I asked if I could buy two for half that because it fit my budget better. They said sure.

And now I have a jewelry collection the likes of which I had only dreamed of when I first started on PS!

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

Very, very carefully.

 

[MissGotRocks]

This is such an interesting conversation, and it’s one of those things that is SO intensely personal and will vary from person to person and couple to couple. And also even within those situations, our circumstances change.

For instance, let me tell you a story.

At the beginning of our marriage, I remember vividly being at a cooking store and seeing a set of olivewood spoons. They were gorgeous. The striations in the wood, the way they were sanded so they felt almost like glass. They felt smooth and right in the hand, and I longed to bring them home and use them in the kitchen. I could see how stirring a mundane tomato sauce would be better with these spoons than the perfectly serviceable yet ordinary wood spoons I already had.

And yet. We could not afford for me to buy them. I mean, yes, I could have bought them, but disposable income was severely limited, and pretty spoons did not make the cut. Still, I never quite forgot those spoons.

This year for Christmas, nearly 20 years later, those spoons were in a package under the tree. And what was once a huge luxury is now no big deal. Note: it is hugely meaningful because of what it represents, but monetarily, the considerations are not nearly the same as they once were.

So I imagine it is the same with jewelry. What people would never consider purchasing at one life stage is perfectly manageable at another. PS is a place where it is difficult to really see where we all are, relative to stages of life. Some may be at the beginning of careers and marriages, others much farther into it and more well established. What counts as “big $$” changes.

Hope that helps.

@Tonks - beautiful story! Many of us who have been married awhile can relate. What seemed so impossible at one time can become much easier with time to achieve. Enjoy every use of these spoons and smile to think how blessed you are to have them now!