AmberWaves
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2005
- Messages
- 3,672
Growing up I had both parents in the home, but it wasn''t a happy home. It was obvious they had no affection for each other, and were just "doing the right thing" by staying together for the kids. It was a very volatile home with arguments and fighting, and constant tears. To combat this, I became the scapegoat, trying to detract their attention from each other to myself. My brother turned inward and became a bit of a hermit. They made it known to us that they were only together for us (Yes, it was terrible to say that to us), and that while they loved US, they didn''t love each other.
It stayed that way until I moved out at 21, when my mom finally left. Now there is no interaction between them, but at least the animosity is gone, which is a blessing. Still, I often wonder what kind of person I would be now, had I either had two parents who loved each other, or two parents who split up, saving us from the violence.
What are your opinions? Do you believe it''s better to stay together for the kids (in a very hateful home), or separate to save them from seeing how your relationship has changed? I know a lot of families aren''t as angry and bitter as mine, so I know there are definitely some amicable separations, but in my case, I truly don''t know what would have done more harm. Fighting is what I thought was normal, and every day I have to try to change that.
It stayed that way until I moved out at 21, when my mom finally left. Now there is no interaction between them, but at least the animosity is gone, which is a blessing. Still, I often wonder what kind of person I would be now, had I either had two parents who loved each other, or two parents who split up, saving us from the violence.
What are your opinions? Do you believe it''s better to stay together for the kids (in a very hateful home), or separate to save them from seeing how your relationship has changed? I know a lot of families aren''t as angry and bitter as mine, so I know there are definitely some amicable separations, but in my case, I truly don''t know what would have done more harm. Fighting is what I thought was normal, and every day I have to try to change that.