How long have you been dating and waiting?

[Erin]

Okay, if you''re already engaged you can click how long you had been dating at the time of proposal. Otherwise, if you''re an LIW, how long have you been dating?

 

[Erin]

Dang - I wish I could edit that poll

The last one was over seven years and I didn''t hit add because I didn''t want another one after that one.

Sorry 7+ LIWs

I''m just curious if there is a trend.

 

[allycat0303]

Starset, too funny, I voted for the 7 year cause that was the closest, we were together 10 years though. I''m rounding off to the nearest decade

 

[Erin]

I''m rounding off to the nearest decade

LOL Cute!

 

[tanyak]

We dated about six years (lived together about that long, too) before the proposal. And yes, we saw plennn-ty of people meet and get married during that time. I'm sorta of weird about it, though. I think seeing all those other people get married made me want to "join the club." If it wasn't for that pressure, I would have been happy just being happy. And also, I don't think of marriage as starting our lives together. If that's the start, what have I been doing since I was 23!

If anything, it's a new chapter or something equally cheesy like that.

 

[MissAva]

It will be five years in Feb, I am not sure how long I have been waiting. I joined the LIW in March or 8 months ago.

 

[snuga]

It will be 6 years in February.. still waiting... hopefully it will be before then!

ETA: I've been (seriously) waiting for about a year and a half, so after about 4 years of dating....

 

[AmberWaves]

It was 2 years last Tuesday. Been waiting for a year.

Actually, so I don't seem greedy, let me add that we dated 5 years before that, and then lost each other.

 

[anchor31]

26 months. It''s not that long, but I wouldn''t be a LIW if he hadn''t started looking at rings and talking about engagement/marriage/children at around 18 months, even if (from what I''ve recently figured out) he''s probably not going to propose before three or fours years.

 

[Kit]

We''ve been together for 4 years and 8 months, I guess...we have known each other for almost 7 years though...and living together for over 3 years. It''s funny because actually I think he proposed to me after we''d been dating for like 6 months or something. But it was one of those sort of romantic moments meant to indicate his level of feelings and commitment towards me, not necessarily an official offer...we still don''t consider ourselves engaged even though over the course of our relationship he''s literally said, "Will you marry me" about a dozen times! I suppose since he''s very traditional, and there was no ring, it was considered more sentiment than action.

Oh well, I wasn''t really ready until this year anyways!

 

[snuga]

Date: 11/8/2005 7:18:33 PM
Author: Kit
we still don''t consider ourselves engaged even though over the course of our relationship he''s literally said, ''Will you marry me'' about a dozen times! I suppose since he''s very traditional, and there was no ring, it was considered more sentiment than action.

My boyfriend says the same thing. He always "proposes" in the sense that he asks me to marry him. But we don''t consider ourselves engaged.. It''s frustrating sometimes, but at the same time, it''s nice to know he is thinking about it!

 

[anchor31]

My boyfriend doesn''t say that, but he always talks about "when we''ll be married", "when we''ll have a house", "when we''ll have children". He told me things like "I had a dream I proposed to you last night and when I woke up I was insanely happy until I realised I hadn''t done it" and "I ran into my ex yesterday and told her I''m thinking about proposing to you". It''s sweet, I''m really happy to know he loves me and wants a life with me. I just wish he''d stop talking and give me some action, though!

 

[ellewoods]

We will have been dating 7 years this coming February. I''d say I''ve been waiting for the last couple of months. Circumstances haven''t really permitted official waiting until recently. I''m kind of hoping it will happen before we reach 7 years (Feb) but it may take a while longer.

 

[appletini]

December 3rd will be two years, and I''ve been waiting for over a year. He first mentioned the topic after 1.5 months of dating.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 11/9/2005 9:16:53 AM
Author: appletini
December 3rd will be two years, and I''ve been waiting for over a year. He first mentioned the topic after 1.5 months of dating.

He mentioned it 1.5 months into the relationship and still hasn''t ask!!!

I''d have to be locked up, I would have literally drove myself crazy.

I''ve been with my boyfriend for going on 11 months.

I''ve waited for 33 years for him to come into my life.

 

[snogirl17]

It will be 2.5 years on dec 13th.... we have been talking about the whole getting married thing about 2 months into our relationship.. and i was cool and calm about it, thinking it will happen when it does.. but now since finding this site i have become slightly obessed and i want it even more!!!!

 

[appletini]

Date: 11/9/2005 9:34:57 AM
Author: Caribou

Date: 11/9/2005 9:16:53 AM
Author: appletini
December 3rd will be two years, and I''ve been waiting for over a year. He first mentioned the topic after 1.5 months of dating.

He mentioned it 1.5 months into the relationship and still hasn''t ask!!!

I''d have to be locked up, I would have literally drove myself crazy.

I''ve been with my boyfriend for going on 11 months.

I''ve waited for 33 years for him to come into my life.

Trust me, it hasn''t been easy. At 1.5 months (January 2004) he said we''d be married or engaged by the end of the year (well now its almost two years since he said that). Then that March he said we''d get engaged in May, well in May he said June, in June he said July, and finally I said stop lying to me!!! Then this past March he said he''d get the ball rolling at the end of the month, and then a few weeks later said he wanted to surprise me...translation--he needed to buy some time. And yet he wondered why I became obsessed with PS. So here we are....finally moving forward!

 

[carolann22]

Why oh why do guys bring it up when they have no intentions of following through in an amount of time that remotely resembles soon. I was 10 months into our relationship and completely happy when he asked me to pick out some rings. Since then (1 year), I have been waiting, though only the last four or so months have I been impatient.

I blame it on him, though. He knew I wanted our engagement pictures taken outside in the fall and kept saying we would have time to do so... Well, the last autumn leaves will probably fall off tonight - there''s a storm coming through- and still no ring (although its hidden in his room, I found it last week by accident) So how can I help but be impatient

 

[appletini]

Date: 11/9/2005 10:36:15 AM
Author: carolann22
Why oh why do guys bring it up when they have no intentions of following through in an amount of time that remotely resembles soon. I was 10 months into our relationship and completely happy when he asked me to pick out some rings. Since then (1 year), I have been waiting, though only the last four or so months have I been impatient.

I blame it on him, though. He knew I wanted our engagement pictures taken outside in the fall and kept saying we would have time to do so... Well, the last autumn leaves will probably fall off tonight - there''s a storm coming through- and still no ring (although its hidden in his room, I found it last week by accident) So how can I help but be impatient

I hope you like the ring he picked...and that its not like that episode of Sex & the City where Carrie found the ring and hated it so much that she threw up.

Boys have no concept of time.

 

[Caribou]

My SO told me 5-6 months into our relationship that he would ask me to marry him now if it was right for the relationship. (I agree it was too soon but I still would have said yes) Then he tells me that he was thinking we would be married September of '06 (this was a totally unprovoked comment), so because of that I was thinking we would be engaged by now. Now, he's not sure that the wedding will happen at that time because we will most likely have to pay for the wedding ourselves. I'm hoping we will be engaged by the end of the year. Now, however, I'm starting to get the impression that it's not going to happen for another 6 months to a year.

He could at least let me know if he's going to string me along like that.

 

[carolann22]

I love it... he went for platinum instead of the white gold I had picked. Wish I were wearing it now...

 

[anchor31]

The first time he mentioned marriage was 5 months into the relationship. My grandmother wasn''t doing well (she''s doing much better now, thank goodness!) and I was telling my SO how sad it made me, and I mentioned that she told me when I was about sixteen that one of her greatest dreams was to see me and/or my twin sister get married. And he said: "Don''t worry, sweetheart, she''ll see us get married." I was really surprised! And then a year later he started looking at rings and hinting heavily for a proposal soon. In three months it''s going to be another year since that started... Men can be so silly sometimes...

 

[Caribou]

I just don''t get why they do that.

 

[hopefulheidi]

I''ve been "dating" Nate for 4 years, 2 months, and 24 days as of this posting. We were crazy college kids when we met, right before our senior year, and within a matter of weeks I had littered my stuff all over his on campus apartment, moved my computer in, and was spending practically every night at his place. At that point I was *almost* wishing he''d break up with me because I knew that my dating days were over and I wasn''t quite yet ready to settle down with the "nice guy".

Fortunately I regained my senses and realized I''d be beyond crazy to screw up things with such a wonderful guy that treated me so well. Two months after first meeting (apparently we knew the same people but we''d always just managed to miss bumping into each other, thank goodness Amigo Yahoo stepped in and set us up) he was offered the sort of job that is really impossible to pass up which was great, but it was also 1600 miles away from my friends, family, and the place I''d always envisioned myself living once I had found my way into the real world.

For the remainder of my senior year I struggled with balancing 20 credit hours worth of classes, group meetings galore, a part time job, friendships and family events, and my relationship with Nate. That February, shortly before our 6 month anniversary, he got down on one knee and officially asked me to move with him. It was already sort of a given that this would happen, but the actual delivery was quite sweet. I waffled about the decision for weeks on end. Leaving everything behind for such a new relationship was a big risk and with the amount of stress I was under, I was crying for absolutely no reason every Friday anyways. One night we were laying on his bed watching the movie AI. I remember very vividly laying my head on his chest as I always did and as I spoke to him I called "my Nate" which was a pet term I''d been frequently using in the most annoyingly possesive voice possible. In that instant I realized that by letting him go to TX without me I''d be losing "My Nate" and picturing my life without him was impossible. From that point on my decision was made.

He obviously knew well before that point that marriage would be a possibility in the future. We often talked about getting engaged/married within those first weeks and he declared at one point that I''d have to wait a year to get engaged. It wasn''t that he didn''t love me but he felt very strongly about only getting married once and as such he wanted us to have a full year to get to know one another before making such a big decision. In theory it''s a really mature point of view, in practice, it''s a bit of torture with all the waiting.

I had that one year mark set in my mind. Finances were tight when we first moved so I knew getting a ring would be a long shot. My grandfather passed away just a few days before our one year anniversary so Nate spent our special day at work in TX and I spent our special day burying my grandpa back in NY. It was obviously far from romantic and enough to keep my mind off a proposal. I registered with my first diamond forum in December of 03, almost 1.5 years after we first met.

That February we went to a jewlery store so he could get some Valentine''s day ideas. He was the one that guided me towards the engagement rings and we found one we both liked. I was so excited at that point, not only because we''d actually gone to look at rings together, but that he had been so open and almost excited about the experience.

Fast forward to November of 05. For over 3.5 years now we''ve been discussing/bickering about getting engaged. He says he feels too young to get engaged, that all of his married friends regret tieing the knot, that he can''t afford it, that he''s afraid I''m only focused on the diamond and not the symbol. It''s all incredibly incredibly frustrating. I''m now 25, he''s 27, we''ve essentially lived together all of these years, I picked up and left everything behind for him, and suddenly he''s gotten cold feet. I''ve been engaged to the wrong guy before, and I know that my current relationship is 100x better and more healthy. In most ways, Nate and I fit each other perfectly, we just seem to be operating on much different schedules. What I wouldn''t give to be able to set his clock ahead a few years

Whew, sorry to rant, this has just been a very sore point for me lately. Just this weekend he was bragging about the fact that he knew more about diamonds than a fellow female coworker of his, he took me to look at rings on my birthday in September, and he''s found the setting I''ve recently chosen to be acceptable to his tastes. At the same time he''s complained that I''m just interested in getting a ring, that he can''t afford one with our current debt, and that he''s tired of having everyone ask him when he''s going to propose (even though he only hears that question about 1/100 of the number of times I do). I don''t mean to paint him in a bad light, because he truly is one of the good guys, I just hopelessly wish that he''d get this proposal train back on track Argh, Men!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We dated a little over 4 years at the time of the proposal. It will be 5.5 years when we get married.

 

[AlyceC]

Reading this makes me feel so much better. I''ve been with my BF for a little over three years, and it gets so hard to try to explain our relationship. He''s not just a boyfriend, he''s not technically a fiance. I work with seniors, so I joke about calling him my "gentleman friend." The hardest part is that if it weren''t for him leaving the work force and returning to law school, we''d be married by now. I knew it was bad when his grandmother started pressuring him about marrying me!

 

[pad3006]

I know this section is woman in waiting, and I of course am not a woman but I wanted to give you all a guys perspective.

I am dating a woman, and she and I love eachother. Sometimes she will make comments to test me about proposing and being married. Then other times she will say I am not ready to be serious. I know in my heart that she cares about me and I really do think she wants to marry me. I think in a way she is scared and maybe doesnt want to admit that.
But we always have a great time together and we always enjoy being in eachothers company. She is very comfortable around me and she trusts me. So I dont doubt, but is it hard at times.
Your not alone ladys at all, I dont feel like i wait for her to want to let me. I need to save more money etc, but I can understand your situation. But I hope you all know that your not alone and that sometimes guys go through that too.
I hope it all works out for the women who are waiting for proposals.

Phil

 

[anchor31]

Thanks pad, that's very nice of you to come in and offer us some male perspective. Having insights help, because we often wonder how our man's mind works!

I wish you the best of luck with your girlfriend!

 

[Corrie2007]

My BF and I have been together for almost 6 years. Last year bought a house together, so we joke that we became married the day we signed on the dotted line for our 30 year mortgage We''ve been seriously talking about getting married for about the past 8 months or so, and I think (hope) we''ll be engaged by Christmas!

 

[Buena Girl]

We''re past the 3.5 yr mark. By the time he proposes, it will probably be not too much before our 4 year dating anniv.

We starting discussing rings maybe a year ago? I can''t remember exactly. I''ve been "hard-core" waiting (thinking it should happen really soon) for approximately 6 months now.