How Many Attendants?

[kittybean]

Share how many attendants you will have on your side (including your maid or matron of honor, but not including flower girls or ring bearers). If you'd like, tell us more about who you chose and why you chose them below.

 

[bee*]

I''m having three altogether. My MOH-sister, bridesmaid-other sister and other bridesmaid-D''s sister. I decided to keep it in the family as it saves having to pick between my girlfriends. I also have my best mate as my bridesman, but he feels too self conscious about standing up with the girls so he''s going to escort my mam into the church.

 

[kittybean]

Small oopsie on my part: I couldn''t edit the poll answers, so please ignore the "More than 10" answer. It was supposed to be "10 or more," but I ended up with both choices!

I''m going to have seven bridesmaids. Neither FI nor I have any sisters, so my side is six friends and one cousin. The friends are one childhood friend, two sorority sisters, and three law school friends/roommates. I have two maids of honor, one that''s out-of-town, and one that''s in town. So far, it seems to be working out pretty well.

Bee*, I wanted to have a bridesman too, but he wasn''t too keen on the idea. I completely understand why, but I''d still love to have him participate in some way.

 

[Clairitek]

I''m having 5 total. 2 Maids of Honor and 3 Bridesmaids. The MOHs are my "sisters" that I''ve known since I was 4 1/2 years old. I''m an only child but these are like siblings to me. They are my best friends and they are actually related. I could never choose one over the other so I asked them both.

The 3 BMs are all friends of mine from college, specifically from my sorority. I pledged with one and I was in her wedding last year. The second one was one of my residents when I was a resident assistant in the dorms in college. She ended up joining my sorority and still lives in my home state so I see her often when I''m home. I was going to be in her wedding but she called off the engagement. I became close with the third one my last year of college just before she went to study abroad in Australia. Just before the start of that school year I introduced her to her fiance. They were both studying abroad that year so they didn''t actually get together for a full year after that. 4 1/2 years later they''re engaged and I''m her MOH! The three sorority girls aren''t particularly close to each other, I''m really their common bond.

I do have some additional female friends I could ask but I just don''t really want more than 5. If I had done a smaller wedding party I would have just had the 2 MOHs because there wasn''t any way I could ask one of those three other girls over the other two.

I suppose the BMs aren''t officially my BMs yet because I have yet to ask them but I am 100% positive they will say yes. I am in the process of making them horrendously tacky, flashy sequined and puff painted tee-shirts to send them sort of as a joke. I''ll make myself one too. I think that they will be useful for some funny photos.

 

[emilina22]

i have 10 bridesmaids and 10 groomsmen

heres the break down:

my sister (my ONLY sister) shes my maid of honor
my Fi''s bestfriends girlfriend (who is super close to me as well)
two of my closest friends (i''ve known them since we were in preschool)
my sisters best friend (whose like another sister to me)
my future niece
and the rest are the groomsmens picks

my Fi''s 2 best friends are his best men and our ring bearers (huge inside joke between us since WAAY before we got engaged)
2 of my Fi''s brothers (the last single two out of the the 14 brothers)
my cousin who is like my brother (my real brother doesnt want to stand in our wedding becasue he wants the only wedding that he stands in to be his own, and im totally ok with that decision)
and the rest are 5 of our close guy friends since gradeschool (we all grew up together)

and then if your counting jr. bridesmaids and flower girls heres that break down

jr flower girls (8-9 years old)

the little one (well shes 8 now) ive been taking care of since she was 4
my little cousin
my Fi''s two nieces (one of which lost her mother 2 years ago of cancer and is super close to my FI and I)

Flower girls (3 and 4 years old)

my other younger cousin
his younger niece

so yea thats a pretty big party were having....

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I will have my cousin as my maid of honor (we went to college together and are the same age), my two sisters (25 and 34), my FSIL (21) and my friend (appletini!) whom I knew in college and became good friends with when we lived together after college.

I originally wanted four attendants so I could keep the wedding party small and also not have to pick between friends, but FI wanted 5. He just thought 5 was a good number for some unknown reason before he had even decided who he wanted. When I told him my list and my distaste for picking between my close girlfriends for that fifth spot, he still felt strongly about me having at least one non-family member in the wedding party. (Again, I''m not sure what drives these opinions of his, but that''s just how he pictures it!) The friend I picked was somone who was important to both my fiance and I and had been my roommate while FI and I were dating, so that''s how I made the decision. I have asked my other good girlfriends to be in the "house party" so I can legitimately invite them to the rehearsal dinner and luncheons, etc. even though I''m nto sure what I''ll have them do!

I am really excited about my wedding party. I can''t imagine a better group of women to stand with me. I''m also excited about the other people. I have two little girl cousins and my cousin''s son for the flower girls and ring bearer. FI''s groomsmen are all friends of mine as well and his three ushers are really good people that he knows from the Navy (bonus points for hot uniforms which my single girlfriends will enjoy

)

 

[wannaBMrsH]

I will have 5 total. My baby sister will be my MOH, my other sister will be BM, FIs sister will be a BM, and 2 of my friends. I think FI is also having 5 attendants, but I could be totally wrong. His baby brother will be BM, and his other brother will be GM, I think my two brothers will be GM (but I am okay with him not asking them, they can escort my mom down the aisle) and one of his really close friends...I told him to do what feels best for him.

 

[alli_esq]

we''re having 5 girls and 5 guys (I voted "5")--we sort of have a cross-over of sexes (lol, that came out wrong)...

Ladies:
MOH is a friend I made only 2 1/2 years ago when we worked together for a summer. We became fast friends, and although we are long distance, she has been the only constant supportive person of my relationship. No matter how rocky things have gotten with my FI (and they were very rocky for a while, as some of you might remember), she has always been by my side and loving. There for me whenever I''ve needed a friend and advice.

Bridesmaid1 is a childhood friend of mine, who is actually my mom''s best friend''s daughter. She and I have been through all of our life events together, pretty much (even recently--she graduated from law school the year before I did, she got engaged 2 months after I did, etc.), and she is an absolute riot. I love her.

Bridesmaid2 is my FI''s sister. She and I get along great, and she is also my hairdresser and I believe she''ll be doing all our hair for the wedding, which is awesome

Bridesmaid3 is my good friend from law school--she and I have been through some rough times together, but we always know how to eat our way out of it, lol. She''s great--and just got married last September, and LOOOVES wedding stuff, so she is a big help too

Bridesmaid4 is FI''s best friend from childhood, who is a girl. She''s married, but eloped in Vegas with only a few people, so she is rather judgmental of our choice to have a "big" wedding. Oh well. She also asked me if she could wear pants to the wedding (she never wears dresses or skirts), but I had to gently tell her no

Gents:
Best Man is FI''s best friend from college--they are now writing partners (aspiring filmmakers) and they work together (best man got FI the job he''s had since I met him, which was a big step up for him)...he''s a nice enough guy, but he also eloped and thinks weddings are stupid. When FI asked him to be his best man, he kind of looked at him and was like, "well, what do I have to do?" before answering. I hope he shows FI a good time when it''s time to do that sort of thing...

GM1: FI''s brother-in-law

GM2: My best friend growing up (who is FI''s BIL''s brother...can you follow that?? haha)

GM3: My bro--he''s the greatest, and totally hilarious (plus, he and FI are like in love with each other--manlove!) I''m so glad he''ll be involved in the wedding!

GM4: a friend of FI''s from childhood--actually FI was his best man at his wedding, but they were never that close, so it''s kind of awkward. Actually, they''re so distant that we just had brunch with them for the first time in almost a year, and it wasn''t until about an hour into the brunch, when his wife stood up that I saw she was enormously pregnant (she was 7+ months!), and they never even told us!!!! Not even at lunch! they just waited for us to see that she was pregnant! so crazy.

that''s the run-down!

 

[newbie124]

I will have 2 bms: my sister and one of my close college friends. I almost considered asking another college friend to be a 3rd BM, but I really wanted to keep the party small.

Unlike a lot of people who seem to have questions about whether it''s OK to ask additional people even if they''re not that close, I was having an issue figuring out if it would be ok to not ask my friend. Ha

Although I''m almost equally close to her as the other friend, I really wanted to have as small a wedding party as possible. Less costs and less hassle trying to coordinate everyone...Just picking out dresses for 2 girls has been painful enough for me!

 

[blackpolkadot]

I am having four total. My sister is my MOH. The other three are my college BF, FI''s sis, and FI''s cousin, who is also one of my BFs. So far, it''s been the perfect number for us.

 

[KatyWI]

I am having four also.

My best friend in the world is my MOH, even though she is currently living in London.
My other good friend from my middle school years on though we lost touch for a while until a year or so ago is a bridesmaid. She''s in CT right now.
My best friend semi-locally just moved from Madison, WI where I am to Chicago. She''s a bridesmaid, too.
And my boyfriend''s sister is going to be my fourth, because I insisted that my brother stand up, and even though FI is not overly close to his sister, I figured it would be inappropriate to have my brother and not his sister.

He has three half-siblings who we see a decent amount, but none of whom are standing up. I think I might ask his half-sister to be an Honorary or Personal Attendant and wear the same color but not the same dress as the BMs? I don''t actually need/want her to DO anything, I''m really trying not to hurt her feelings as she''s sort of close to FI''s sister who I''m asking to be a BM, but she''s only 16 so won''t be able to participate fully. Is there anyone out there with experience in this sort of thing?

 

[musey]

I had one attendant, my matron of honor (her whole family was in the wedding--her husband officiated and her two daughters were our flower girls). She is my cousin and the person I've most looked up to my entire life.

My husband had two, who are both his best friends and college roommates.


I must have missed the memo on always including siblings as a rule--I had NO idea that this was a normal expectation. One of my brothers asked me to be in his wedding and I was so confused! I have two brothers who attended, but were not involved (well, one manned the guestbook).

 

[CNOS128]

Two for each of us! The space where we''re standing isn''t all that large.

My friend had 16 bridesmaids plus 2 maids of honor. Great photos, but it was a little odd.

 

[sunnyd]

4 for me. My best friend of 10 years and 3 FSILs. My own sister will not be in the party, which may make my mom angry. Depending on how angry, my answer may change to 5.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Obviously I'm not engaged so I don't REALLY know....but I'm quite certain we will keep it small (so that's why I'm posting this.) Like probably 2-4 for me and 1-4 for S. I hope to have my cousins come out for it but they all live out of state. His brother and cousins as well (for him.) I might just have to recruit you kitty!

 

[kittybean]

Date: 12/9/2008 6:43:19 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Obviously I''m not engaged so I don''t REALLY know....but I''m quite certain we will keep it small (so that''s why I''m posting this.) Like probably 2-4 for me and 1-4 for S. I hope to have my cousins come out for it but they all live out of state. His brother and cousins as well (for him.) I might just have to recruit you kitty!

Aww, I would be there in a heartbeat, Dreamgirl!

It sounds like everyone is keeping the bridal party pretty small. I think I might have preferred it that way (not that I wouldn''t want each girl I picked already, but in a vacuum, KWIM?). However, as far as bridal parties go in my circle of friends, mine is pretty average. I''ll be in a friend''s wedding this summer that will have 11 bridesmaids, 11 groomsmen, a couple more ushers, three flower girls, and a ring bearer. I''m on "keep the bride hydrated and sane" duty for a couple days there.

Interesting observation, Musey. It does seem like kind of an unwritten rule--at least among people I know--to automatically include siblings in the wedding party. Most people only have a couple siblings, so it makes some sense. My brother will be one of FI''s groomsmen, and if my brother were getting married, I think I''d expect to be a bridesmaid (or a groomsmaid, I guess). We''re very close, though, and I know it wasn''t awkward for FI to ask my brother to stand up for him. I could see how it might be strange if you weren''t close or didn''t know one another''s friends.

 

[blondebunny]

i put none.. as of right now..there is nobody im that close with id want standing up there with me...im a homebody and spend all of my time with my FI and his friends...plus most of mine screwed me over when my brother committed suicide so i just kinda dont really trust anyone after that..oh well.... maybe my sis if she gets her crap together...which prob wont happen..

my FI will probably have 5 or 6 guys.. maybe more...

 

[kama_s]

1 for each of us. My little brother will be my man-of-honour and Mr. Kama's brother will be his best man.

I just didn't want the fuss with having a wedding party. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law will do the signing, and all our close friends will be sharing the moment with us anyways.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I''m having 6 on my side, one is moh
i have 4 best friends and 2 sisters
there ya have it!

 

[Octavia]

I didn't vote because I'm undecided. I originally planned to have 4 bridesmaids -- my two best friends from high school and my two best friends from college (all of whom are still my closest friends). Bu the more I think about it, the less I want to have a bridal party at all. I definitely don't want them to stand up front through the whole ceremony, and I don't care if they wear the same dress or not, so it all seems a bit silly to me. So I considered slimming it down to two (one from HS and one from college, who are probably my two "best" friends), but I'll feel guilty leaving out my other HS friend, and she's almost as close to me as the other two. So I might (and probably will) end up with three. The other college friend is getting married a couple months before me and lives on the other coast, and I don't think she'll mind whatever I choose. Then again, as long as my other bridesmaids aren't particularly "official," there's no reason she shouldn't be one...which would put me at my original four. AAAGGGGHHHHH. I can't decide. I don't honestly care, as long as all four of them are there in some capacity. I'm kind of thinking of telling all four that I want them involved somehow and letting them choose what they want to do ("show up, eat, and drink" would count).

FI still has no idea what he's going to do for groomsmen, either.

We're the worst couple at wedding planning ever.

 

[BELLA9280]

i had my 2 sisters, 3 cousins and my neice as the Jr BM

 

[musey]

Date: 12/9/2008 7:12:45 PM
Author: kittybean
Interesting observation, Musey. It does seem like kind of an unwritten rule--at least among people I know--to automatically include siblings in the wedding party. Most people only have a couple siblings, so it makes some sense. My brother will be one of FI's groomsmen, and if my brother were getting married, I think I'd expect to be a bridesmaid (or a groomsmaid, I guess). We're very close, though, and I know it wasn't awkward for FI to ask my brother to stand up for him. I could see how it might be strange if you weren't close or didn't know one another's friends.

That may be the difference. I'm not close with my brothers. I mean, we get along, but I wouldn't call them with news--I'd just let them find out through the grapevine. That level of closeness.

It wouldn't have worked to have them in our wedding party, anyway. My husband would've had 4 attendants to my 1. I obviously didn't mind being lopsided (since we had 1 and 2), but that would've been a bit much.

 

[iheartscience]

I''m having 3. My twin sister is my MOH, my older sister and best friend are my bridesmaids...or bridesmatrons if that term exists.

 

[lesco]

I have three , 2 BMs and my MOH...

 

[CDNinNYC]

Two for me!

My maid of honour is my childhood friend; my man of honour is my brother. He loved that I asked him to stand up for me.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I''m having four, my MOH - Mom, FI''s sisters as BMs and one of my friends as a BM.

 

[katamari]

I am not having any attendants. FI and I are eloping and only taking our parents and his brother (I am an only child). If we were going the traditional route, my guess is that we would have 4 & 4.

 

[bensbride]

I have five on my side. I have two sisters that will be MOHs, FI''s sister and two friends. My FI has five buddies he''s been close to since basically kindergarten, so he knew right away who he wanted on his side, but narrowing the friends down to two was pretty tough for me, considering the three sisters had automatic spots. My brothers(2) and brothers-in-law(2) and my teenage nephew will be ushers.

 

[dani13]

We had 5 on each side (including MOH/best man). That was plenty for us!!!!

 

[luvbug]

We''re doing 3 and 3 - We both have three brothers so we''re keeping it in the family with an all male bridal party.

We''re also having all cousins under ten as ring bearers/flowers girls and that turns out to be 5 and 5. I can''t wait to see all the little boys and girls running around all dressed up!