How many couples met online?

[galeteia]

I''ve been lurking around the boards, and occasionally see references to couples who met online and are now pre-engaged/engaged/married.

I always pooh-poohed the idea of meeting someone online-- until it happened to me! I''m now officially in love for the first time, at 25.

I guess I was just waiting for someone worth marrying.

So, as an informal poll: How many of you out there first came across your sweetie online? Do you know other engaged/married couples who met online?

I have a suspicion it''s way more common than I originally thought.

If you met your S.O. online, I''d love to hear your story!

 

[Mannequin]

I won my now-fiance' on eBay!

...or at least that is what I tell everyone.

Seriously, we used to live about ten minutes from each other and our brothers were good buddies in second grade. I have his bro and sis in my 6th grade yearbook. We never really knew each other until later on, when we met through Matchmaker.com, a site that was still free at the time. I was on there looking for friends, since I was having a hard time connecting with folks at a commuter college, and he sent me a message that did not include something like "how big are your boobs" like the other guys had done.

We started talking on IM and through email, made a few phone calls, and finally met in person about a month later. I would never have met him otherwise, and people are amazed when they hear how we met.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Me me me! Which is the cause of the 1660+ miles between us! It was never supposed to happen this way of course. He was just a cutie I thought would be a nice online pal to chat with. 3 1/2 weeks later, I love you blurted out of his mouth and the rest is history. After that I just started telling people it was silly to assume the love of your life somehow managed to get plopped down in your area code!

 

[sumbride]

Me! Me! Me!

I''d just been MOH in a friend''s wedding.... they met on Yahoo. I was ready to start dating again after a bad breakup so figured I''d give it a shot. I joined yahoo, but my ex-bf actually showed up in my list of matches!

So I joined Match.com and, there, at the top of my list, was my perfect match! He hadn''t posted a picture, but his profile sounded like a "normal" guy and he actually mentioned my favorite band (REM) so I thought "what the hell" and sent him an email. He replied a few hours later, though I found out later it took him those few hours to actually type the email! We emailed for a week, exchanged pictures, and then he said "call me" and sent me his number. We talked for an hour and he asked me out! I was scared, nervous, all that... but we met a week later at a restaurant, and the second he walked in and smiled at me I was hooked.

We hit it off instantly and have been together ever since... 3 and a half years now!!!!

It was semi-long-distance until we moved in together last summer... we lived about 35 miles apart. I know that sounds like nothing, but in the DC area, that''s 2 hours! So we only saw each other on weekends for the first year and a half or so, then I moved a little closer so we were able to see each other one night during the middle of the week, then it was "enough already" and we moved in together. I told him if I''d known exactly where his town was, I probably wouldn''t have written to him, but I was still new enough to the area that I didn''t know it was THAT far.

When people meet us, they say how well-matched we are... they''re usually surprised we met online, even more so that he was my FIRST online date, but it was a bit of fate, I think.

 

[jas]

*Arnold Horshack impersonation* Ooh, ooh, ooh!

BF and I met online as well. I had just gotten over a very painful breakup and my mom, of all people, encouraged me to try JDate because a number of her friends'' children had very positive experiences.

I saw BF''s profile and in a fit of "I''m back and ready to dive into this again" bravado, I emailed him. We chatted online and on the phone and met a week later on Good Friday 2005.

It was a Good Friday indeed. We met at a coffee shop. I got there 25 minutes early (I have a terrible habit of arriving really early for things). I remember literally catching my breath as the most elegant and kind-looking man walked in the door. His slow smile instantly set me at ease. We are a little older (me 32 at the time, him 36) and are/were not meeting people at work (he works for himself, I teach...a business with a whopping majority of females) and we''re not bar attendees.

I still laugh about it because most people are surprised about how we met. I also laugh remembering we both had "exit" strategies in case this meeting was a disaster. He had a "meeting" and I had, ummm, I thinkan emergency appendectomy ready to go to.

Never needed the exits, and we hopefully never will. It''s been the best relationship I''ve ever had.

Jas

 

[strmrdr]

wifey2b and I met online in 1997 on irc.

 

[galeteia]

How wonderful!

I know what you mean about fate; I met my boyfriend on OkCupid. I wasn''t even on there to look for a date, I was actually counting down the days until I could break up with my now-ex.

I was totally miserable in the relationship, and would have gotten out months earlier, but then he lost his job

and I couldn''t bear the idea of him losing job and girlfriend in one go. That delayed it into the holidays, and I don''t know about anyone else, but breakups that happen on Important Dates always haunt me year after year. (Every birthday I feel the sting of being dumped on my 15th birthday-- and it''s a decade later!

)

So I was biting my tongue, avoiding him, and waiting until the holiday was over. I went online to distract myself (OkCupid has lots of amusing tests) and in the midst of all the messages saying "hi U R hot, wanna chat?" was this simple message about Tea! (I had listed it as ''something that I can''t do without'')

Our first conversation was cut short; our second lasted 15 hours. The rest, is history ... unless you want to hear it

 

[treysar]

I met mine on Match.com - seriosuly, when they say, "you met your match" they are not kidding - I really did!!

He''s like me, with a penis!

 

[sk8rjen]

These are such awesome stories --- we had a thread a while about about how people met, but this is great for the newer LIW''s! I just found out recently that I may have eventually met my BF online had I not met him accidentally thourhg friends, so I completely believe in the "fate" thing! We both had just signed up for match.com when we met each other, but neither of us had done any more than make a profile and start browsing. I know if he had shown up on my "matches" I would have definitely checked him out...

Fortunately I got him sooner

jen

 

[anchor31]

J and I didn''t meet online per say, but my brother introduced us over IM. J had seen a picture of me at my brother''s apartment and told him he thought I was pretty.

We first met in person about four months later.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 5/19/2006 11:55:45 AM
Author: treysar
I met mine on Match.com - seriosuly, when they say, ''you met your match'' they are not kidding - I really did!!

He''s like me, with a penis!

Amen to that, treysar!

We refer to one another as ''red fish'' as in ''two red fish in a pond of blue fish''. It''s uncanny.

 

[firebirdgold]

We didn''t technically meet on Match.com. He met one of my best friends through Match.com and she set us up later after they became friends. He did email me once through Match.com but that was before my friend realized that they weren''t going to work out. So she used my account to write him a stinging email back. (he''d kinda used similar first emails

) So he was afraid to meet me later!
Generally I''ve thought it best not to tell her that he knew within 5 minutes they weren''t suited and was just trying to be friends, while she thought he was into her.

I remember her telling me about this one conversation that she thought meant he was planning a future together but it was actually him trying to come up with a good explanation for why he didn''t want to date her. oy.
I must admit, I''m not sure how I would have responded if he''d contacted me first. I wasn''t looking for someone younger than me. Silly me!

But I sure do owe her one!

 

[galeteia]

That''s hilarious, because my housemate/good friend''s boyfriend (now of over a year and counting) was first interested in me online, even though I was trying to come up with a nice way to let him down.

I had invited him to my housewarming party (strictly as ''you''re someone interesting nearby, bring lots of friends!'' kinda thing) but added a disclaimer that I was not hitting on him, and I was not interested in a relationship. He totally wasn''t my type, and proceeded to try to court me for the next few weeks, much to my despair... and my friend''s, too, because SHE was crushing on him but couldn''t attract his attention becaus he was all focused on me!

Eventually, after I had given up trying to get him interested in her, he confessed to me that he couldn''t date me, because he found himself torn between his attraction to me and his attraction to her!

I all but threw her at his head

He''s totally her type, and they had their one-year anniversary March. I''m so happy for them. So, even though she didn''t techically meet him online, she did message him before they met in person at my party.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

We met online, too. We did the Eharmony thing. I thank my lucky stars a friend of mine convinced me to do the personality profile. Not only did that reveal tons to me, it also led to my meeting the love of my life. Yay for Dr. Neil Clark Warren. Isn''t that his name? Ahh, I forget...

 

[galeteia]

Date: 5/19/2006 6:59:03 PM
Author: fisherofmengirly
We met online, too. We did the Eharmony thing. I thank my lucky stars a friend of mine convinced me to do the personality profile. Not only did that reveal tons to me, it also led to my meeting the love of my life. Yay for Dr. Neil Clark Warren. Isn't that his name? Ahh, I forget...

I've never heard of Eharmony, what is it? Is it supposed to be a serious personality test in addition to being a way to meet people?

And a question to y'all: Do you ever get the awkward moments where people ask where/how you met? I find myself reluctant to admit we met online, as if it had some tawdry connotation.

Do you find yourself running up against any kind of stigma?

 

[jas]

Galateia, I absolutely get uncomfortable, even with people my age. There is still a stigma attached to meeting people this way. However, I think almost everyone we told said, "Hey, that''s cool. I know so many people who met this way!" There has been the occasional person who has screwed there nose up when we''ve told them and given us the stink eye, as though only losers meet this way. I have on one occasion said that we met on a blind date, but that was when we bumped into his ex-girlfriend who seemed epoxied to her new FI. But that may have been more of my issue than hers.

 

[nicolejrx]

Date: 5/19/2006 7:03:30 PM
Author: Galateia

Date: 5/19/2006 6:59:03 PM
Author: fisherofmengirly
We met online, too. We did the Eharmony thing. I thank my lucky stars a friend of mine convinced me to do the personality profile. Not only did that reveal tons to me, it also led to my meeting the love of my life. Yay for Dr. Neil Clark Warren. Isn''t that his name? Ahh, I forget...

I''ve never heard of Eharmony, what is it? Is it supposed to be a serious personality test in addition to being a way to meet people?

And a question to y''all: Do you ever get the awkward moments where people ask where/how you met? I find myself reluctant to admit we met online, as if it had some tawdry connotation.

Do you find yourself running up against any kind of stigma?

Eharmony.com is an online dating site in which you take a personality test and they match you up based on that. You can''t search for people, they find the people for you! Luckily for me, their computer sent me my FI!!!! First date Jan 2nd, 2004, bought our house in June 2004, Engaged April 18th 2005, Getting Married October 13th! In that time we have also had two deployments to Iraq! He is coming back in around 3 weeks.

We are a perfect match and the funny thing is that we went to high school 2 miles apart from one another in Arizona but met in San Diego. So we had so much in common from the get go! He used to be uncomfortable that we met online but not anymore. Now we are both pretty open about it!
Nicole

 

[sumbride]

Date: 5/19/2006 7:03:30 PM
Author: Galateia
And a question to y''all: Do you ever get the awkward moments where people ask where/how you met? I find myself reluctant to admit we met online, as if it had some tawdry connotation.

Do you find yourself running up against any kind of stigma?

I never had a problem telling people, but my boyfriend wasn''t comfortable with it at first, so he told people "we met through friends."

My mom said "You buy everything else online, why not a boyfriend?" It''s true... before we moved here, I used to order even pizza and groceries online. They don''t deliver to this neighborhood though... it''s "transitional". Yep, we live in the ghetto... and we like it!

 

[genette]

I too thought the idea of meeting someone online was sketchy till it happened to me. We have been doing the long distance thing for almost 4 years and we fly back and forth to see each other. I live in Hawaii and he''s stationed in New Mexico in the Air Force, but he gets out of the military and he will move down here to Hawaii while I finish my Finance degree. The only thing is we don''t know how we are going to tell our parents how we met because of all the horror stories about the internet. Nevertheless, I always say its not how me met but that we met that matters.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 5/19/2006 10:35:02 PM
Author: sumbride

Date: 5/19/2006 7:03:30 PM

My mom said ''You buy everything else online, why not a boyfriend?''

!! *laughs so hard she flops over in her chair*

I cannot even find the words. All I can say is go you, and go your mom. Clearly you two have a similar sort of repartee as I do with my mother.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 5/19/2006 10:55:56 PM
Author: fashionsweetie
Nevertheless, I always say its not how me met but that we met that matters.

Amen to that. He and I often remark with amazement and some fear at how random our chances of meeting were.

My housemate eased my concerns about the distance and the fact that we met online by pointing out that if I am a red fish, it''s only natural that I need a bigger dating pool to find another red fish!

I think I will comfort him with that, fashionsweetie, the next time he gets nervous about how close we were to not meeting.

 

[Dandi]

indiejones!!

That sounds so similar to how FH and I met! My best friend met him on msn, and as we all live in the same city she and he decided to meet in person for coffee. She (and he!) were both dead nervous, so she brought me along for support, and he brought a mate also. She and my FH are still good friends but the was no romantic spark whatsoever... but he and I hit it off straight away!! I like to think of it as fate too, it''s funny how it all happened, really. And the friend who we met through will be my MOH at our wedding!

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 5/19/2006 10:56:50 PM
Author: Galateia

Date: 5/19/2006 10:35:02 PM
Author: sumbride

Date: 5/19/2006 7:03:30 PM

My mom said ''You buy everything else online, why not a boyfriend?''

!! *laughs so hard she flops over in her chair*

I cannot even find the words. All I can say is go you, and go your mom. Clearly you two have a similar sort of repartee as I do with my mother.

Hahahaha! I had gone on a few dates before through online things and they were horrible! So I gave up long ago. But my mom had been doing the whole datignt higns for over a year and found her match so I slowly became interested again. Little did I know the guy from WA who seemed friendly enough to chat to would be the one! Total and complete accident!

 

[galeteia]

I wish I had made this into an official poll!

Did any of you find that your relationships progressed very quickly compared to relationships where you met in person first?

In my case, we spent 15 hours talking on the first day. I know, crazy. Chit-chat is hard to keep up when you are talking over the computer, so we dug deep pretty quickly. By the end of the week, our 10 hour a day (average) conversations had covered more serious ground than most relationships cover in six months to a year.

I think the enviroment prompts candid expressing of values, views, philosophies, and beliefs more easily than face-to-face, where you might not bring up something because you don''t want to ''rock the boat''. When you talk over the computer, you don''t have anything invested yet, and are free to find out whether their potential matches your mold for Mr. Perfect!

Do you girls know what I''m talking about here, or have I managed to be totally incoherent?

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 5/21/2006 7:10:33 PM
Author: Galateia
I wish I had made this into an official poll!

Did any of you find that your relationships progressed very quickly compared to relationships where you met in person first?

In my case, we spent 15 hours talking on the first day. I know, crazy. Chit-chat is hard to keep up when you are talking over the computer, so we dug deep pretty quickly. By the end of the week, our 10 hour a day (average) conversations had covered more serious ground than most relationships cover in six months to a year.

I think the enviroment prompts candid expressing of values, views, philosophies, and beliefs more easily than face-to-face, where you might not bring up something because you don''t want to ''rock the boat''. When you talk over the computer, you don''t have anything invested yet, and are free to find out whether their potential matches your mold for Mr. Perfect!

Do you girls know what I''m talking about here, or have I managed to be totally incoherent?

Yep you hit the nail on the head! I mean two weeks after I picked up the phone for the first time he blurted out I love you. We were just talking about life as friends. Things did move very very quickly for us. And a lot of people thought that was even crazier than us meeting online. But hey when things are meant to be they just go.

Coherent? Completely!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Galetia,

I totally hear you on the communication going deeper, faster online. The social *norms* don''t exist as much on the internet, so you can be more *yourself* without trying to impress. At least that''s how it worked for us. When we *talked* online the first time, it started at 1pm, stopped only for him to go to church that night since he missed it that morning, then began again and went until well past midnight. I was *so* tired, but neither of us wanted to say bye to the person we''d spent a week answering questions and emails from. The next day, we talked on the phone. And haven''t gone a day not since. He''s the best friend I''ve been wanting all my life. What a blessing! I feel no stigma in having met him the way I did. My parents took a while warming up to the idea, but they adore him and don''t care how we met anymore. My mom has just always thought it was *scary* to meet *those crazies* online. Even though she''s online, too. Can''t all be crazy. She''s a silly one.

 

[galeteia]

Don''t you find it odd that people will think nothing of starting up a relationship with someone they met at a bar while smashed, but meeting after weeks of profound conversation isn''t okay?

Everyone claims that they look beyond physical appearances in a mate, and the internet gives you the chance to judge someone by their intelligence and wit, rather than how they look.

And thanks to the advance in technology, you can have video conversations via webcam. When I was fretting about whether or not my sweetie and I would have as much physical chemistry as we did intellectual chemistry, he said "I can tell from your webcam that is not going to be an issue for me." You can take flattering photos, but no one can fake it on a webcam for 10 hours straight!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Haha. I hear you on that. I had actually posted a picture of me that''s a great picture and a "real" picturel, but not necessarily how I look on a day-to-day basis. Anyway, once we got to talking talking, I sent him others of a more *realistic* me. He PREFERRED those. I was *so* ready to meet the man I''d been talking to daily for hours, without lulls in conversation at that point.

Lucky for me, he''s VERY non-photogenic. I was floored, absolutely floored when we met. Made me a little more nervous that he was so much more attractive than I was expecting.

Gosh, it''s fun to think back to that initial point of our relationship. The wondering, the expectations, the questions, giddiness, all that. What fun. Still, I appreciate the stability of who we are now to that weak in the knee stuff. Best of both worlds: He still gives me that weak knee syndrome from time to time. He''ll say something so cute, or smile really sweet, or just be a truly precious man. And I''m there, all over again. But without wanting to puke from nerves this time. Ahh... I love loving him!

 

[galeteia]

Date: 5/22/2006 12:30:26 AM
Author: fisherofmengirly
Haha. I hear you on that. I had actually posted a picture of me that''s a great picture and a ''real'' picturel, but not necessarily how I look on a day-to-day basis. Anyway, once we got to talking talking, I sent him others of a more *realistic* me. He PREFERRED those. I was *so* ready to meet the man I''d been talking to daily for hours, without lulls in conversation at that point.

Lucky for me, he''s VERY non-photogenic. I was floored, absolutely floored when we met. Made me a little more nervous that he was so much more attractive than I was expecting.

When I first met my sweetie in person, I was all sweaty and frazzled from running around cleaning my apartment (while my housemate/best girlfriend hid in the kitchen and laughed at me) in my gym sweats, no makeup, and frizzy hair.

He was a half-hour early. I was beside myself. When I asked him if I looked like he thought I would, he blurted out that I was way prettier than even my webcam showed!

Evidently that no-make up, cheeks-flushed-from-extertion look is very fetching! Moreover, he was seeing me as I really was, and liked what he saw. It took the pressure off me to be ''perfect'' (like I always put on myself with my past boyfriends) and boosted my self-esteem. You girls all know the uncertaintity of being caught without any ''war paint''! I''ve heard of some women you don''t let their hubbies see them without mascara for the first few years they are together!

 

[sumbride]

Date: 5/21/2006 7:10:33 PM
Author: Galateia

Did any of you find that your relationships progressed very quickly compared to relationships where you met in person first?

Not for us... it went SLOWLY... but I think that was a combination of it being semi-long distance, meeting during the winter holidays and thus being out of town a bit, and my cold-feet as I jumped back into dating post-breakup. It took us 5 months to utter the L-word, almost a year before we met families, etc... but it was perfect for us, and I''m glad we took our time. It made me more confident in it lasting, as my prior relationship had been really fast and furious, burning out just shy of a year. With this one, we really took our time, and though sometimes it''s driven me crazy, it was his first serious relationship, and the first one I got right.

I did find out later that he considered me his girlfriend after our second date... it took me about 2 months before I called him my boyfriend.