How much information are you giving your boyfriend about the ring you want?

[peonygirl]

I emailed mine about 10 different diamonds in his price range that I liked from WF and told him about the Pricescope discount. I''m also going to work with SP to design my setting and email him that info. His job is just going to be to choose the diamond and figure out the logistics of getting it set into the mounting. I guess I''ve done at least 90% of the work and research, but I''ve really enjoyed it. Out of curiosity, how involved are all of you in the ring design, and have your boyfriends ever thought you were too involved? I hope mine doesn''t think that! He hasn''t complained yet I suppose.

 

[E B]

My fiance wanted me to choose the exact ring I wanted. The exact diamond, the exact setting. Of course, I showed him everything I wanted and got the okay. Some guys are like my fiance, some guys want to choose everything themselves, and some guys are in between. If he hasn't complained, make sure he knows what you want. If you want that element of surprise, then you're on the right track. Remember, you'll be wearing it for a long time (if not forever!).

 

[Kim N]

Everything!!

Like Ebree, I chose the exact diamond, and now I'm choosing the exact setting. This process was my choice, as I'm not a jewelry person by any means and so I'm very picky about what jewelry I will wear. I wanted to be 100% sure I'd be happy with the ring, and he doesn't mind the way we've been doing things. After all, he wants me to be 100% happy with the ring too!

Also, I enjoy being on forums and researching diamonds much more than he does, so this part of the process has been way more fun for me than it would have been for him. After the setting's completed, though, I won't get to see it much until the surprise proposal.

 

[shia]

My boyfriend is doing a lot of it on his own but I send him links often and he agreed to showing me the stone before buying and making sure I''m okay with everything. He knows what type of setting I want but I''m sure I''ll be getting more questions when the time comes. I think he was surprised that I wanted to be so involved but doesn''t mind (I hope, anyways).

 

[anchor31]

I''m sending him links to styles I''d like to have. So far I''ve showed him the ring in my avatar, a design I made myself with the inspiration rings I used, and I''m trying to get a quote for a variant of another ring I found. I want a five stone diamond band, so I''m not really chosing the diamonds. I''m just still trying to decide if I want shared prongs or trellis...

 

[icekid]

yep, I choose everything too! and FI does not seem to mind

 

[ChargerGrrl]

LOTS!
My situation was unique:
We first spoke at length about what I wanted, and I began my reserach. I bless the day I found Pricescope! We then visitied a local B&M (armed with my new-found knowledge). Seeing the stones in person sealed the deal for me- I''m a Princess gal! After doing more pricescope research, I learned that Whiteflash is located in Houston. Lo-and-behold- I was heading there soon for a biz trip. I made contact with them, and worked with Renae to bring a stone in for my visit. I was also going to narrow it down to 2 solitare settings. Afterwards, I was to report back to my BF if this stone was "the one". If so, he would take it from there- I was to be completely cut off. I also wanted to make sure that he would be totally OK with purchasing the stone sight unseen. My WF visit was in late September, and I fell in love with the stone! I know that he''s been in contact with Renae, and that a decision has been made. But that''s all I know, and it''s killing me!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I knew I would not get my FI to go ring shopping with me. He hates shopping. So I picked out my Tacori setting over a year before he proposed and gave him the jewelers card (he had my ring size, carat preference and shape, that kind of thing) well I was a very frusterated LIW so for valentine''s day (2005) he took me to the store and bought the setting. (they sold their model sample so FI never saw the real ring until he picked it up. They only had a picture) While we were there he asked if I wanted to look at diamonds. !?!?! I thought I was dreaming. So we looked at the shapes I liked or thought I would like (RB was my first choice maybe b/c they had a CZ RB in my setting so that was what I was used to seeing, I also loved ECs (turned out to be both our favorite), was curious about Radiant (didn''t end of liking it) and Oval) So I guess I picked the setting and he picked the diamond. He went much larger than I was expecting so I was very surprised. I also never saw any EC in my setting so I am glad it looks good. I don''t think there is anything wrong with helping or picking out your ring. I suggest it.

 

[MissAva]

At first i did not want to give V any information at all. I expected him to find and buy my perfect engagment ring with out an clues from me. But after going to a few diffrent ring shops we both realizsed how much small details can alter the perceptions of a ring. So we began to shoot each other back and forth links and whatnot. I came across Pricescope and viola! I have learned more here in the past year then I had in the previous two by reading books.
Once the budget had been set I began using the Search By Cut we began to narrow down our choice of stones, in the end it came down to one from Good Old Gold and one from Whiteflash and I let him make the final decision. He choose the one from Whiteflash and now has choosen the setting from a list of ones I liked. He ought to have the ring in less then two weeks...who knows when I will get to see it though!

 

[ellewoods]

When I first said anything to my boyfriend about rings, I just mentioned that I love emerald cut center stones and that''s what I would want. I told him I would not want a round brilliant, and I would not want a solitaire. I thought that''s all I wanted in terms of preference....but then low found Price Scope.

After seeing a couple pictures I let him know that I would love an emerald center stone, with "diamonds all around the band." Of course that was before I knew that style was called pave.

So aside from those details, I was content to leave it alone and let him do whatever he was going to do. That didn''t last long.

When we were browsing at mens watches in a jewelry store, I wandered over to the jewelry section just for kicks and found some Daniel K rings. OH MY GOSH I was in love.

They had a picture of the Daniel K split shank....the advertisement said "Union Square" on it. Although they didn''t have the actual ring, I decided right then and there that was my dream ring. And my boyfriend took the picture home with him.

From the price in the store, I knew that a Daniel K would not be in his budget. So I just stopped thinking about it altogether.

Fast forward several months later, and my boyfriend was visiting me in New York. We stopped by Michael C. Fina, and I found my dream ring. It wasn''t the split shank, surprisingly, but it was another Daniel K -- one of the Rosebud styles. It was absolutely gorgeous, pave eternity band, beautiful diamond details on the bottom, classic and elegant looking but with a modern feel too.

My boyfriend really liked it too.

So from that visit, he knows that it is my absolute favorite dream ring. The price was much better than the other jewelry store (if you can believe it, the one I tried on first was a Daniel K with a 2.3 carat, priced at $69,000. The one I tried on at Michael C Fina was a 2.01 carat, priced around $26,000. They were different settings but not very different). It is still out of his budget I''m sure, but now he knows the look I love.

Ever since I found that ring, I really don''t even want to look at settings anymore. I am hoping that he may get creative and contact someone to do a custom setting that looks very similar, but I have no idea if that''s in his realm of thought or not.

So while originally I thought all I wanted him to know was 1) emerald cut; 2) thin band; .................now he knows my exact dream ring. I wish I could stop caring about the little details but I can''t!

I am a bit annoyed at myself that I''ve been doing so much research on rings, but one good thing has came out of my inability to stay out of things.

In the beginning, all I ever knew was that I wanted an emerald cut. My boyfriend also liked emerald cuts very much, so I was happy he would probably choose a ring with an emerald cut center stone. But after visiting a store in the diamond district, my boyfriend and I both realized that we like radiants better (for the extra sparkle and also because they need to be kept very clean and I am not the most dainty or graceful person in the world, LOL). I hadn''t ever considered a radiant before then -- I don''t even think I knew what they were.

So who knows what will be the outcome. Maybe he will forget all of my likes and dislikes and get me a Tiffany style round brilliant solitaire. Hee hee.

 

[MissAva]

Elle, Which Daniel K ring are you in love with? I followed a link in a diffrent thread and ran across this ring which reminded me of some of the Daniel K rings posted on PS before...dont know if this is less expensive though. JoesphGann Link

 

[ellewoods]

Hi Matatora.

It's this one, it's this one!!

It looks 10 times nicer in person too....it's even more delicate than this picture shows. I wish I could get it out of my mind but I just can't. I think I feel the way Tacori ERing felt about her setting before she was engaged.

If I won the lottery and could actually get this ring, I would probably have it done with a radiant center stone (if Daniel K would do this, I think he primarily works with cushions and asschers but I know he could do an emerald cut so maybe he'd do a radiant). Or I'd have it done with a cushion center stone. A girl can dream right?

In reality, if my BF finds someone who can do a custom setting that looks very similar, I think I'd like a radiant center stone.

 

[ellewoods]

Here''s a hand pic of it, although a very very very bad one.

You can''t see the detail very well, and the asscher center stone looks so cloudy and dull here! Oh well, it''s not my dream center stone, just dream setting.

That center stone was about 2.03 carats and J color....forgot the clarity but I think it was VS2. Again, I''m sorry for such a bad picture but I didn''t take it....the sales person did and it just does not do the ring justice.

 

[Kit]

Wow.

That''s a pretty sweet ring.

Just keep sending him ESP and vibes about it....Fingers crossed that he goes in this direction!

 

[ellewoods]

Thanks for the Joseph Gann link Matatora. I haven''t ever heard of them before. The pic you posted is just beautiful! I''m sad that I didn''t know about them when I lived in Boston, I could have done some browsing!

But engagement wasn''t so much on my mind then. Their page was down last night when I tried to look but now it''s up....so I''m off to do some research!

 

[SoonIHope]

After my boyfriend and I had casually discussed engagement a bit, I said I would like to point out types of rings that I like to help him out. He felt VERY VERY STRONGLY about this being HIS choice & HIS gift to me etc, but (thankfully!!!) understood that ultimately it would be my ring that I will wear for the rest of my life, so I''d better like it!

So we agreed to go "ring looking" (he wouldn''t even let me use the word "shopping" since there was "no chance at all" that we would buy a ring) so we could see different rings on my hand and get an idea for different styles, stone shapes, etc.

Then, like Elle....I COMPLETELY FELL IN LOVE WITH DANIEL K!!!!! My dream ring was the split crown, with a cushion. But, sadly, I actually thought I might be able to GET one since the stone was only 1.2 ct. But alas...with the Daniel K markup it was still wayyy out of our price range.

So we tried on a number of other options and basically came to the conclusions that:

A) I DEFINITELY wanted a cushion cut. Had never seen one before I tried on the Daniel K but I just loved it soooooo much. (And it was through searching for pictures of more cushions after that trip that I found PS!

)

B) I wanted some sort of micropave band. The Daniel K split crown was soooo beautiful but I decided that I didn''t like any other split shank style rings b/c the proportions weren''t as nice so I''d rather have a regular one-piece band and just keep the pave as my band decoration.

From that point on, I have had virtually no involvement. I have no idea how big, what shape (square or rectangular) or any other specs my cushion has, or which actual band he ended up choosing. He sent me pictures of a few bands at one point along the way to make sure he was still in the right ballpark (he''d talked to like 10 jewelers by now so I guess he wanted to make sure his focus was still clear), and I gave him the okay on any of them, and a few weeks ago....he bought it!

But he bought the stone and setting separately so it''s taking (took?) a while to get it set. But I want it NOW! But he said I''ll definitely have it by Christmas so I guess I can wait that long! Hehe this is no longer relevant to the thread, but it makes me giddy, so sorry for getting off topic!

 

[ellewoods]

Hi Albi!

I''m so happy to meet anothe Daniel K fan!

Congratulations on your boyfriend purchasing the ring....I''m really excited for you! And I''m sure it will be beautiful with a cushion and micropave. I can''t wait to see pictures!!!

 

[Angel7]

I try to drop hints and I WISH he would let me pick it out and just purpose as a suprise but that ain''t happening. I let him know some key points and am scared to death as to what he would buy. Luckily I have a best friend who he will hopefully contact and will push him in the right direction when the time comes.

Ring details I gave him:
-White gold/Platinum
-Princess Cut
-Pave
-High Setting
-Euro Shank (Still dont think he understands that though!)

He still has a lot to learn but luckily he has time!

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 12/5/2005 11:58:16 AM
Author: ellewoods
Hi Albi!
I''m so happy to meet anothe Daniel K fan!

Congratulations on your boyfriend purchasing the ring....I''m really excited for you! And I''m sure it will be beautiful with a cushion and micropave. I can''t wait to see pictures!!!

Hehe, yeah, it always makes me excited when I see you post about Daniel K!

And yes....I can''t wait to see it either!!!!! SOOOOO EXCITED!!!!

 

[MissAva]

Oh there are just too many ideas that sound so good on this thread...too bad we only get one.

 

[Melinda]

My bf also wanted me to have the exact ring I want, so we''ve been doing this whole process together. I''d go online and find pictures of things I like, and then I''d discuss it with him and get his input (this went on for months). Eventually, we picked out the perfect stone together, and last week we met with Leon Mege after work to discuss the design. I know my bf has paid Leon to start my ring (

, but I have no idea when he plans on proposing. That means I'' m totally out of the loop from here on!!! (Oh, this is going to be hard! I miss my stone already. Gimme, gimme, gimme!!!) I love my bf so much, and he''s been wonderful in terms of letting me get the exact right ring. I can''t wait until I''m engaged and eventually married, because he''s a precious man. I trust Leon, too, to create something tasteful and gorgeous, but if we hadn''t gone to him I don''t know if I''d have wanted to go the custom route. Btw: Some of you have some absolutely amazing rings, but I''m so picky about what I want, and I hate to think if the ring wasn''t just perfect, I''d have to wear it forever anyway.

 

[AmberWaves]

My boyfriend has it pretty easy, I guess. I told him I want WG, with a RB solitaire in a low setting (hopefully the contour setting I showed you guys in the other post). He asked me the other day, what specifics I wanted regarding the stone, and we had a nice little talk about eye-clean and all that. He seems to be very well informed (by whom, I don''t know!) and I sent him to Good Old Gold, where they have a great tutorial. I also sent him here, but now it''s my "secret hideout" for wedding things.

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 12/5/2005 2:06:11 PM
Author: AmberWaves
I also sent him here, but now it''s my ''secret hideout'' for wedding things.

Hehe, I also told my boyfriend to come here to look at all the tools and tutorials but said "You are NOT ALLOWED to read the forums!!!!" because I didn''t want him to come across anything I wrote.

I usually tell him basically what I say, but it seems a little invasive for him to really be reading all my comments without my knowledge....

 

[AmberWaves]

I feel the same way, Albicocca! I tell him mostly everything I say, but it''s so much more private knowing he could read me talking about us, ya know?

 

[LaurenThePartier]

My SO is a digital artist, so he wants to have complete control over the design process. The only thing I''ve requested, is that the diamond be an Asscher. . . that''s it. I originally wanted an Asscher center with step-cut trap sides, but one of his colleagues received the same ring, so he decided that wouldn''t be the way he would go. He has incredible taste, and every render of a ring he designs, I adore, so I''ll be thrilled with anything at this point.

 

[LizzieC]

My BF told me the budget and I picked out my ring (well below budget too!). While I think he initially liked the idea of it being a surprise... ultimately he wanted me to get exactly what I wanted. If he had picked it out on his own, he would have gone with a RB solitaire on a simple platinum band... which certainly would have been beautiful, but is just not my style. After he saw how much time and research went into my decision, I think he was really happy that he got to stay out of it!

LC

 

[ellewoods]

Just an update on giving my boyfriend ring info:

I thought I was being helpful but the other day my BF got really annoyed and upset with me because of all the research I was doing (and thus the hints and specific information I was giving him). He told me that I need to cut it out and stop thinking about the specifics and details because it''s making him annoyed and he feels like I''m saying he''s stupid or doesn''t care and I don''t trust him enough to let him do it alone.

I really don''t feel like that at all, I think he has great taste and will choose a great ring. I just thought I was being helpful since I know he doesn''t love to research things to death on the internet like I do.

But it seems like it''s backfired.

He told me that he knows what I like, he knows what he likes (thankfully they''re pretty similar) and that I need to quit thinking about it and let him do what the guy does at this point. Apparently all of my hints and the few emails I''ve send are driving him crazy about it. Oops!

So I am trying to take a big step back and stop obsessing over the exact ring and the exact tiny details and all of that. I was going to give up Price Scope cold turkey but that didn''t last for more than half a day.

But I''m going to stop researching diamonds and custom jewelers and all of that and just enjoy the eye candy here and everyone''s wonderful proposal stories.

He was really cute when I apologized for pushing the info on him though, he said "I''m sorry that you feel powerless over the situation but that''s just the way it works. The guy gets to ask. So unless you''re going to propose to me you need to cut it out."

 

[anchor31]

I''m glad you didn''t have a fight over this. I think it''s great that your SO explained to you how he feels and that you understand each other. He sounds very sweet!

I guess all you can do is wait, like me. For now.

 

[ellewoods]

Thanks Anchor. He really is a sweetie, and I can be an irrational obsessor sometimes.

We didn''t have a big fight over it, but we had a intense discussion for a couple of hours. Mostly intense on my part.

I was trying to explain that I thought I was being helpful, and I was taking his annoyance and telling me to quit with my ring obsession to mean that he didn''t care about the little details I care about, or that he actually isn''t excited about getting engaged, or that he''s not as ready as I thought.

He took my "helpful" hints and me sending him research to mean that I am pressuring him, and demanding to know the exact date or range of dates we''ll get engaged, and he thought that by me giving him so many details (and finding people who can do a custom setting) meant that I thought he was incapable of handling this himself, that he was dumb, that he didn''t care, that he wasn''t doing anything about moving forward in the process, etc.

So we both misunderstood each other a bit, but we got that straightened out and I actually feel much better about things than I have in a while. I realize I need to cool it and focus on other things right now. Engagement will come when the time is right for both of us, and I''m sure whatever ring he chooses will be beautiful even if I don''t know every tiny detail and even if its not exactly what I *think* I want. I feel calm and content because he''s told me he''s ready to move forward in our relationship and he is excited about it, so now I don''t feel so antsy about wanting to know when it''s going to happen.

Please please let my sudden rationalness and calmness last for a few months!

 

[MissAva]

A few months! Ha I would be happy if it would last a few hours!