How much is your wedding?

[sumbride]

Date: 1/9/2008 6:21:20 PM
Author: musey

Date: 1/9/2008 5:52:41 PM

Author: tberube

Date: 1/9/2008 3:00:16 PM
Author: sumbride

his ring: $600

Good LORD! I really hope his ring had some diamonds in it or something, because I am having TROUBLE finding a ring for FI that is over $200!

If it''s platinum, $600 sounds pretty affordable! Even the higher-end tungsten designers can run in that range.

Nah, not platinum, but fancy. It''s two-tone white and yellow gold with milgraining and diamond cutting, very hefty and in size 11.5. I still feel like I got a deal because originally he wanted a $1200 A. Jaffe ring. This was a compromise! He loves it though and that makes me happy. He has a $30 basic tungsten ring for when he''s bumming around the neighborhood and such.

 

[Independent Gal]

Here''s our breakdown for WP2... WP1 breaks down oddly.

Food & Drink (incl tips, taxes, etc.): 12,000
My get-up incl. make-up and hair: 500
Our rings: $400 - thank you ebay!
Flowers and decorations: $500
DJ: $600
Ceremony expenses: 250
Photographer: $500
Invitations, stamps, thank yous: 550
Presents for various people: 500
Favours: 215
Other expenses: plane tickets, hotel, etc. not exact yet.

 

[Neveah]

We don''t really have a budget..... at least, my parents are very generously paying and while I thought it would be around 30K it''s slowly spinning upwards- out of control. (This is mostly my mother''s doing!!!)

We will be paying for gifts for wedding party and honeymoon (though flights are free. father worked for airline : ) great perk!) And most of rehersal dinner. FI parents aren''t very well off and I refused my parents offer to do that too. The RD were budgeting about 4K.

*On a much scarier (sticker shock) note........... FI and I have been getting all finances together, health insur, etc. We met with financial advisor to do life insurance. He told us that if we plan on having children in the next few years (we are!) that we need to budget $250K for each child for college! YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT! A QUARTER MILLION!

 

[musey]

Date: 1/9/2008 6:56:18 PM
Author: mimzy
I know it is a sin, but i am seriously envious of some of you (or at least your budgets)!

Mimzy, please keep in mind that a dollar amount of the budget does not automatically equal the "fancy-schmancyness" of the wedding. For example, I looked into vendors of a similar quality in my hometown (~100,000 population in the midwest), and everything cost at least 30-40% less. So my $20k Malibu wedding is about on par with a $12-14k Central Illinois wedding (which is lower than average there).

$20,000 is a lot of money, no matter how you cut it. But in LA it buys you a "nice" wedding, where in IL it would buy me a "decadent" wedding.

 

[musey]

Date: 1/9/2008 8:30:22 PM
Author: Neveah

*On a much scarier (sticker shock) note........... FI and I have been getting all finances together, health insur, etc. We met with financial advisor to do life insurance. He told us that if we plan on having children in the next few years (we are!) that we need to budget $250K for each child for college! YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT! A QUARTER MILLION!

Is it bad that this doesn''t shock me? That''s what I get for going to the college I did, I suppose!!

 

[gtn]

Date: 1/9/2008 9:48:32 PM
Author: musey

Date: 1/9/2008 8:30:22 PM

Author: Neveah


*On a much scarier (sticker shock) note........... FI and I have been getting all finances together, health insur, etc. We met with financial advisor to do life insurance. He told us that if we plan on having children in the next few years (we are!) that we need to budget $250K for each child for college! YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT! A QUARTER MILLION!

Is it bad that this doesn't shock me? That's what I get for going to the college I did, I suppose!!

I'm not surprised that that is the amount for each child. . My life insurance policy right now is not that high 125k, but I plan to increase the amount $500k or $750k, since we just bought a house. I wouldn't want fi to have to worry about payments.


ETA: at least we are not actually putting in $250k/child

 

[UCLABelle]

Well...we wanted to keep it down, but already blew the budget. We have 25-30 guests and will spend about $18-20,000 (not including the $5000 for the honeymoon)...

 

[mimzy]

Date: 1/9/2008 9:44:35 PM
Author: musey

Date: 1/9/2008 6:56:18 PM

Author: mimzy

I know it is a sin, but i am seriously envious of some of you (or at least your budgets)!

Mimzy, please keep in mind that a dollar amount of the budget does not automatically equal the ''fancy-schmancyness'' of the wedding. For example, I looked into vendors of a similar quality in my hometown (~100,000 population in the midwest), and everything cost at least 30-40% less. So my $20k Malibu wedding is about on par with a $12-14k Central Illinois wedding (which is lower than average there).


$20,000 is a lot of money, no matter how you cut it. But in LA it buys you a ''nice'' wedding, where in IL it would buy me a ''decadent'' wedding.

oh i know musey! i''m totally aware that it''s cheaper in the midwest than most places

i just wish i could budget 1.5k for my dress

 

[tberube]

Date: 1/9/2008 11:07:07 PM
Author: UCLABelle
Well...we wanted to keep it down, but already blew the budget. We have 25-30 guests and will spend about $18-20,000 (not including the $5000 for the honeymoon)...

WOW! 20K for 30 guests?!

I must be totally bent out of proportion, because I truly cannot believe the nonchalance with which most people spend their hard earned cash on their weddings.

Of course I know many of you have parents who have been saving forever to give them the wedding of their dreams. Not a single parent or family member has offered to contribute a dime toward our wedding (except my aunt who paid for my dress), but even if someone gave me an extra $10,000 toward my wedding I wouldn''t change a thing about what I''ve planned. Perhaps I''d worry less about floral costs and open bars, but I wouldn''t change anything, nope. I would put that money into my savings account (and no, not because I''m not a frugal spender by nature). I live in the $$$ Boston area, I work in art/marketing and I''m all about trends and fashion. I''m designing and printing my own invitations, making my own tall, branch-y autumn centerpieces, all by choice. And - the dress that I fell in love with at the chi-chi bridal salon just happened to be under $1,000. I don''t feel like I''ve missed out at all, except maybe with flowers (the price of flowers sends me running scared so I cut down on them a bit).

I guess a lot of it comes out of the fact that I''ve been to weddings that cost $50,000+ and I''ve been to weddings that cost under $6,000. And to this day FI look at each other and say "we really loved Couple A''s [the $6,000] wedding - it was so personal, so fun and quaint. but Couple 2''s [the $50,000] wedding was stuffy, crowded, the flowers were stinky, there was no organization, and there weren''t even favors at the end of the night." When we started planning our wedding, like a lot of people we wanted to live up to our favorite wedding experience, but that wedding experience was the $6,000 wedding. Seriously.

Not that I mean to judge those who have large budgets for their big day (if nothing else I''m envious of their ability to indulge), but in the end, what does all that extra cash bring to the day?

 

[cdt1101]

tberube - we also have not had our parents/families offer to pay (other then my dress...my mom is covering that). However, we wanted to have a wedding and we came up w/ our $25,000 budget. And let me tell you, that is by no means making for a decadent wedding. I think what needs to be taken into consideration (as mentioned by musey I believe) is where people live. We are in Northern NJ. So it''s not cheap here, in fact we wouldn''t have been able to stick to our budget in this area. Our wedding will be in PA, at a relatives home. We do have a guest list of 100 which is driving our cost (obviously). But I have a large family and all 100 of our guest are people who mean a lot to us.

Speaking for myself only, I am not nonchalant about the spending. It''s been painful (for lack of a better word) in some ways to spend this much money for one day, but we really wanted to celebrate this time in our life.

 

[tberube]

Date: 1/10/2008 10:33:27 AM
Author: cdt1101
tberube - we also have not had our parents/families offer to pay (other then my dress...my mom is covering that). However, we wanted to have a wedding and we came up w/ our $25,000 budget. And let me tell you, that is by no means making for a decadent wedding. I think what needs to be taken into consideration (as mentioned by musey I believe) is where people live. We are in Northern NJ. So it''s not cheap here, in fact we wouldn''t have been able to stick to our budget in this area. Our wedding will be in PA, at a relatives home. We do have a guest list of 100 which is driving our cost (obviously). But I have a large family and all 100 of our guest are people who mean a lot to us.


Speaking for myself only, I am not nonchalant about the spending. It''s been painful (for lack of a better word) in some ways to spend this much money for one day, but we really wanted to celebrate this time in our life.

cdt, I totally understand. But this is why I say I''m so flummoxed - we''re having a wedding with 100 guests as well, and it''s just outside Boston. Hmmm...sometimes I wonder if I''m totally missing someting - like some hidden $10,000 cost or something....

 

[mjso]

I''d say I''d have to agree with cdt, I am also having my wedding in NJ, but we are planning on getting married at the beach. We will also have 100-150 guests, and the thing is, in all of my searching for reception venues I haven''t found anything that is less than $75 per person (most are in the $100 per person range). Although a lot of our close friends may not be able to make it due to the fact that they live in the Westsern half of the U.S., so we may save some costs there. That''s still $10,000 for the reception dinner.

Sure, I don''t HAVE to have the reception at a "venue" and I don''t HAVE to have a sit down dinner, both choices would drastically reduce costs, but that''s what I want. Part of me thinks, "OMG, how can I spend 10k on one dinner, that''s absolutely ridiculous, I could use that as part of a down payment for a house or a car", but part of me thinks "$100 for a five hour open bar, cocktail hour an 4/5 course meal is nothing!" If I could find a place where I got that deal on a regular night here in LA and it was just each person paying for themselves ( a night out with friends) I''d think it was an awesome deal. For instance, we go to the Magic Castle here on a fairly often basis and I drop $100 a night easily. It is just that when 1 (or a few) people are footing the bill it seems ridiculous.

I still have to go around an meet with the vendors, so I might be able to negotiate a lower price per head (a few less appetizer choices during the cocktail hour, skip the appetizer with dinner and just have salad, dinner and dessert since they will have appetizers with the cocktail hour, etc) but right now it seems like I can''t avoid spending around $10k for the reception (minus centerpieces and music, etc)

 

[tberube]

We are going to spend close to 7k on our (sit down) dinner at a hotel venue, so yeah I understand. I just am doing my best to keep other costs down to under $4,000. To be fair, like I said I am getting free photography and free invitations (I work for an invitation company) and the cake, champagne toast, wine with dinner, gratuity and bartender fees are included in my venue package. I also didn't include the price of my wedding jewelry (about $1500 with wedding band) and FI's attire (he's getting that himself). So again like I said I don't feel that I've had to give up anything to keep my costs, even in the expensive Boston area. So I find it quite interesting the wide range of costs people will get for basically the same thing.

I guess I'm just glad I don't live in SF!!

 

[cdt1101]

well the photography is a typically a huge expense. Our photog is $4,000 alone. And that''s without an album. That''s just his time and the negatives.

If I were to breakdown our budget it would look something like this :

Food & Drink (incl tips, taxes, etc.): 15,000
make-up and hair: $200
Our rings: $1,000
Flowers and decorations: $1,200
DJ and string trio: $1,500
Ceremony expenses: $550
Photographer: $4,000
Invitations, stamps, thank yous: $1,000
Favors: $200

things add up quick

 

[MustangGal]

I''m a little out of date, we got married in 2001, but only spent 6-7k for 150 people at a spanish style country club in Palm Springs.

I am helping a friend plan her wedding for 3/16/08 in Phoenix, and here''s her budget:

$600 Dress
$6,000 Ceremony site, reception hall, food & drinks
$1,700 Flowers & decor
$500 DJ
$100 Officiant
$325 Cake
$0 Photographer, my husband

They still need tuxes and a few other things, but it should end up being about 10k for 100-120 people.

 

[sap483]

Date: 1/10/2008 10:08:41 AM
Author: tberube

Date: 1/9/2008 11:07:07 PM
Author: UCLABelle
Well...we wanted to keep it down, but already blew the budget. We have 25-30 guests and will spend about $18-20,000 (not including the $5000 for the honeymoon)...

WOW! 20K for 30 guests?!

I must be totally bent out of proportion, because I truly cannot believe the nonchalance with which most people spend their hard earned cash on their weddings.

Of course I know many of you have parents who have been saving forever to give them the wedding of their dreams. Not a single parent or family member has offered to contribute a dime toward our wedding (except my aunt who paid for my dress), but even if someone gave me an extra $10,000 toward my wedding I wouldn''t change a thing about what I''ve planned. Perhaps I''d worry less about floral costs and open bars, but I wouldn''t change anything, nope. I would put that money into my savings account (and no, not because I''m not a frugal spender by nature). I live in the $$$ Boston area, I work in art/marketing and I''m all about trends and fashion. I''m designing and printing my own invitations, making my own tall, branch-y autumn centerpieces, all by choice. And - the dress that I fell in love with at the chi-chi bridal salon just happened to be under $1,000. I don''t feel like I''ve missed out at all, except maybe with flowers (the price of flowers sends me running scared so I cut down on them a bit).

I guess a lot of it comes out of the fact that I''ve been to weddings that cost $50,000+ and I''ve been to weddings that cost under $6,000. And to this day FI look at each other and say ''we really loved Couple A''s [the $6,000] wedding - it was so personal, so fun and quaint. but Couple 2''s [the $50,000] wedding was stuffy, crowded, the flowers were stinky, there was no organization, and there weren''t even favors at the end of the night.'' When we started planning our wedding, like a lot of people we wanted to live up to our favorite wedding experience, but that wedding experience was the $6,000 wedding. Seriously.

Not that I mean to judge those who have large budgets for their big day (if nothing else I''m envious of their ability to indulge), but in the end, what does all that extra cash bring to the day?

Hey tberube- that''s fantastic that you''re able to have a wedding outside of Boston at that price. I live in that area and it''s certainly expensive. Also, one of the best weddings I went to was a small intimate wedding held in a historic barn in CT. It too cost less than 10k. For us though, the extra money that we''re spending gets us a venue that we really adore in a location that is meaningful to FI and I.

My wedding is in Newport, RI which is a fairly expensive location for weddings.FI and I spent a lot of time there, and so we really wanted to get married there (if we didn''t have a destination wedding). Many venues in that area have a $40k or so minimum on their food and beverage. So for our location, the amount we are spending is not uncommon. Of course we didn''t absolutely have to choose Newport, but to be honest it was something that we really wanted, and we''ve worked really hard to save up the money we''re spending on our wedding- for that purpose. We have not been irresponsible in other ways. We own two homes- one of which is a rental property and provides us with rental income. We will still have money left in our savings when our wedding is over and do not have other debts besides a small amount in student loans.

So with that being said, while it was hard to come to the decision to spend that kind of money in one day, we went for it because it''s important to us. Plus we were fortunate that my grandparents and parents set aside money for my wedding from the day I was born. If they were not contributing that then we would have not chosen our venue. So I guess what I''m trying to say is that I''m definitely not spending the money with nonchalance. It''s money I''ve worked really hard for and it''s hard to part with.

 

[tberube]

Wow - I guess I am saving a lot on the venue and the photography - it seems to be the largest discrepancy between my price and the prices for many of you.

Weddings are very expensive!!! Good luck to everyone on your Big Day!!!

 

[lucy.lucy.80]

Wow you guys are getting some pretty good deals on DJ''s. I had to bargain with mine to get him down to $1,100 (DJ,MC, and basic light show)...orginal price was 1,500!! I live in nyc metro area though so maybe thats a good price (yikes!)

Wedding about 100 people (our total budget is about 20k...average wedding here costs 38k)
Reception-12,500
DJ-1,100
Photo- 1,500
Cake- Free
Dress/veil/shoes/alterations- $1,000 (dress itself 750)
Flowers- 1,000
Save the dates- 20 (DIY)
Invitations- 50 (DIY)
Wedding rings- 1,250
Honeymoon-1,500

Missing hair/makeup and that stuff but I am really not sure about that yet.

 

[UCLABelle]

Thanks SAP483 I am glad I am not alone with regard to feeling that, if available and found beneficial, a little extra money may be worth it.

TBERUBE- Trust me, we wanted to keep it down...as I have been to many weddings, just as you described with regard to varying costs. But, things out here in Orange County, CA seem to cost a lot, and while it is our hard earned cash, it is ours (and my parents are obviously helping with most costs)....

My Church site fee (including officiants gift, music gift, alter server, gift): $2000
My dress (that is having custom straps, an added train) with veil: $5000
Photography: $4000
Flowers: $1500
Dinner Reception (5 course, with set wine and cocktail list): $6000
Transportation (and valet for guests who are driving): $600
Reception Music: $500
Invitations: $400

There are other things I was adding to the price I posted (groom, FOB and BM rentals, rehearsal dinner, hotel for the day before the wedding, hair/makeup, attendant and parents gifts, etc).....

 

[newbie124]

I was wondering if people could include the number of guests with their reception costs? I know it''s all very dependent on location regarding what kinds of costs to expect for reception, but I''ve been trying to get an idea in general of how much receptions generally go for. $10,000 for a reception for 20 is much different than one for 150!


Thanks!

 

[musey]

Date: 1/10/2008 5:33:15 PM
Author: newbie124
I was wondering if people could include the number of guests with their reception costs? I know it''s all very dependent on location regarding what kinds of costs to expect for reception, but I''ve been trying to get an idea in general of how much receptions generally go for. $10,000 for a reception for 20 is much different than one for 150!

Thanks!

Newbie, my reception costs are all-inclusive at $120/head. This includes venue fee, chairs/tables/linens, open bar service, and food. We''re estimating 85 guests will attend from out mostly out-of-town 105-person invite list, which comes to $10,200, but I round up to $11,000 in my budget to allow for up to 90 guests. HTH

 

[musey]

Date: 1/10/2008 12:49:36 PM
Author: lucy.lucy.80
Wow you guys are getting some pretty good deals on DJ's. I had to bargain with mine to get him down to $1,100 (DJ,MC, and basic light show)

Lucy, most of that cost is probably in the rental, setup, and operation of the lights for your light show. That is EXPENSIVE, especially if the venue isn't already set up for it. Did your DJ give you a cost breakdown for each service?

If we do book a DJ (still undecided on this), it will probably cost us between $300 and $500, because we'll only book for 2-3 hours with basic sound equipment and his emcee services.

 

[flutterby]

I had a wedding in Vegas. It was a small wedding only 50 guests, but it was at the Four Seasons, and we had a 5 course meal and open bar. Here is a breakdown...

Invites- 1k
Dress- 400 (actually a BM dress and I adored it! my RD dress cost more
Tuxes/BM -800
Hair and makeup-500-
Chapel- 1k
Chapel flowers-900
Reception décor/flowers- 4k
Reception F&B- 15k
Photographer- 2k

This does not include hotel, airfare, favors and all the other additions. We just had an ipod reception so no DJ.

 

[mimzy]

our budget is 23k for 180-200 people
breakdown:
honeymoon - 4k
reception/food and drinks: 12k
flowers: 400
stationary: 350
attire (all): 1k
rings: $600
photo: 2k
dj: 600
cake: 350
hair/makeup: 150
decorations: 300
ceremony: 600
favors 200

sometimes i get angry that our list is that big, and that if it wasn''t we could really throw a really cool event, but then i remember that i''m just that much luckier to have 180-200 people that i''m going to be thrilled to see on that day

 

[Pandora II]

I am so jealous of some of the US prices.

I have been looking for months for a band and have found nothing here for under $4k.

My budget is $2k max and I am hoping this singing pianist I have found - who is also a student - will come in below that, but may well not.

I could cry. London is sooooo expensive.

I don''t know how anyone could do a wedding for 120 for much less than I am - and my budget is huge compared with some of the PS ones, despite the fact I am DIYing like mad!

 

[sunnygirl]

Our wedding is going to be about 40,000 for about 140 people (in $$$ Santa Barbara). And that doesn't include my dress (almost 4k) or the honeymoon. Ouch ouch ouch. And we are borrowing money from my mom and paying her back later. In 3-4 years, we will both be making more money than any of our parents make so we just didn't feel right having them pay. Here is a breakdown of what we have booked so far:

Church fee: 1500
Church reception hall fee: 3500

This is a huge chunk of the budget for just the location.

Photog: 5500 + tax so really 6000 (ouch ouch) --> most of the SB photogs are pricey and the ones that weren't, I just didnt like their styles so much. This was the first thing I booked and looking back, I might have spent more time looking for people willing to travel from LA etc but I really like my photog so I hope she is worth it
Video: 2500 + tax
DJ: 1500
Ceremony and cocktail musicians: 850
Flowers: ~3500-4000
Hair/makeup: 625 for me and mom
Food/drinks: if we go with the people we are thinking, it will be about 14000-15000 for food, open bar, and rentals including chiavari chairs (incl tax/tip)
Day of Coordinator: 2300 (ouch), all the good DOCs in SB have hiked their prices up dramatically in the last year or so. The only one I found for less (1500) seemed too inexperienced to me.

That's pretty much it for now. Its a LOT of money and I am basically just trying not to think about it.

 

[sunnygirl]

Oh that also doesn't include our rings

And it is about 15,000 more than we initially wanted to spend. I guess you can say I don't work well with budgets...and SB is very expensive. I would say that budget is on the low end of weddings there based on what I have read on the santa barbara wedding forums

 

[anchor31]

We''re in the Montreal area, but not in Montreal (it probably would have cost us twice as much there). It als took a lot of vendor research, negotiating and DIY-ing.


Budget (not including rings, honeymoon or bride''s attire): 8,000$
Reception venue (8 hours, cocktail, food, wine and bar for 80 people): 4200$
Photography (professional, 8 hours, full album, Hi-Rez CD of all pictures and thank you cards): 1230$
Videography (student with production company): FREE
Cake (by a friend): 200$
Stationary (STD magnets, invitations, menus and programs all DIY, postage included): 200$
Reception entertainment (2 live signers w/ music they recorded themselves, 8 hours): 850$
Ceremony (all included): 300$
Ceremony music (professional brass quintet, friends): FREE
Flowers (bride and bridemaids bouquets, bouts and corsages): 150$
Decor (centerpieces and linen rentals): 450$
Gifts (favours, attendants and parents): 200$
Groom''s attire (rental): 100$
Total: 7,900$
Rings (his cost 1,200$!!!): 1500$
Honeymoon (2 nights/2 days at the spa, we''ll be saving up for a bigger trip): 800$
Bride''s attire: 800$
Grand total: 11,000$ (which isn''t so bad either!)

FI and I will be paying for half of the 7,900$, the rings and the honeymoon, for a total of 6,250$. My parents will be paying for the other half of the 7,900$ for a total of 3,950$. Finally, my grandmother (bless her heart) will be paying for my attire, for a total of 800$.

 

[UCLABelle]

Sunnygirl- Were you shocked at the price of the church? I was, but maybe I shouldn''t have been. The catholic church where I grew up was only $500....and then my new one turned out to be so much, for a registered parishioner (however, after, I found out they would have given a 50% discount, but I didn''t want to take back money given...)

 

[dani13]

Over 60K, not including rings/hm, for 125 people in NYC-metro area. It makes me nauseous just to think about it.
But was it worth it? DEFINITELY!!! We wouldnt have changed a thing.