How Rude!!!!

[Neveah]

Okay, need to vent. I sent STD''s last week. Wedding is 5/10/08.... really wanted to get hotel info out as many people are coming from out of town. I addressed the STD''s like I would the invitations..... i.e. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.... NOW, if you got (addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,and said ADULT RECEPTION) would you call the MOB and "make sure" little Sarah, John, and Billy are invited too???? HOW RUDE!!!!!!!
I made the decision from the start that I wanted an adult only reception. NO CHILDREN AT ALL. Our guest list is already 278.... well I''m not even making excuses.. I just don''t want any children there. I don''t want them on my dance floor, at the ceremoney, anywhere (no matter how well behaved they are!) Now I adore kids, but I just don''t want them there on MY wedding day! Is that so much to ask????
We have had 3 phone calls to "make sure" the kids were invited. Um, no....did you not see who the STD was addressed to? One of these people had the nerve to say, "well if our kids aren''t welcome, we won''t be there" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Besides it being my decision, do these people not know how much weddings cost? My fiance and I are in our early 30''s...if we invited all the children of our friends/family we''d have (at least) an extra 40 people! I''m giving you 6 months to find childcare!
Someone even went so far as to say to me while we were out to dinner "I really love when all the kids are welcome to celebrate a wedding. They always have so much fun and make it that much more festive" Kiss my arse, seriously. And I''m just at the point where I''m like, "if you don''t like it don''t come." Am I being crazy here??? Anyone else having this problem????

 

[luckystar112]

It never ceases to amuse me when parents can't fathom taking a day away from their precious little snowflakes.
Maybe I will be a bad parent in the future, but I always thought a night with adults is something that parents WANT every once in a while.
I guess it depends on how many of your out of town guests are expected to drop their kids off at a sitter while they go away for a few days. That, admittedly, would be hard. Not to mention expensive if they have to hire someone!

 

[Neveah]

Date: 11/9/2007 12:18:28 AM
Author: luckystar112
It never ceases to amuse me when parents can''t fathom taking a day away from their precious little snowflakes.
Maybe I will be a bad parent in the future, but I always thought a night with adults is something that parents WANT every once in a while.
I guess it depends on how many of your out of town guests are expected to drop their kids off at a sitter while they go away for a few days. That, admittedly, would be hard. Not to mention expensive if they have to hire someone!

That is true, however the people who called are LOCAL. There are some from OOT (not more than 5 hours away) and I do understand the sitter $$$ part, except I gave my extended family a heads up so they could get their in-laws to take their kids, or we have also offered them the use of my parents house (we would provide the sitters and it''s only less than 20 min from wedding) so they won''t have to leave them all weekend in another city.
And I agree....an adult''s night out should be something to look forward too! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH

 

[bee*]

Oh I totally hear you on that one. My ceremony/reception is going to be Adult Only also-I do not want kids there. My wedding isn''t until 2009 so I''m hoping that if I spread the word a bit now that people won''t mind too much. My cousin is the only one that I know that has kids and I''m hoping that she won''t mind them going to the inlaws for a night.

 

[Maisie]

I don''t understand why someone would take such offense if their children aren''t invited. I have kids and if someone invited me without them I would be like ''Yey! A night out!''

 

[Independent Gal]

Well, I have to say, a save the date addressed to husband and wife is not as clear cut as an invitation, or if it is according to 'etiquette', most people probably wouldn't know that. After all what a save the date is doing is telling the recipient to mark something on their calendar. Little Johnny and little Janey don't need to mark it on their calendar too, so I don't see why you would NECESSARILY address it to all of them. Or at least, I can see how it would be easy to be unsure. Now, it seems to me that the POLITE thing to do if you aren't sure, is to call the MOB to check. There is absolutely NOTHING rude about asking a question when you're unclear about something which seems somewhat unclear. If they were calling to say 'JOHN AND JANE HAD BETTER BE INVITED OR ELSE!' that would be rude, but if they were calling to check, which it sounds like at least some of them were, then I think you need to cut them some slack and just be glad they CHECKED rather than just assuming Johnny and Janey were invited.

Also, you have to understand that many people put a lot of effort into checking out babysitters and childcare. They don't just leave their kid with anyone. So it makes sense that people would be nervous about driving five hours and then leaving their children with a complete stranger in a house that's probably not child-safe 20 minutes away. But, here I think that guests should then just decide not to go, not complain to the bride about it. But if they decide not to go, you should suck it up too.

I'm not inviting kids (except nursing infants) to my wedding either. There's no room in my tiny venue, and I can't afford it. Mind you, I have never been to a wedding without kids, and I will understand if some people are pissed about it and don't come.

 

[MustangFan]

obviously these people don''t really respect your decisions, so why bother inviting 278 people?
I am keeping it small for that reason, only my true friends and family are invited. I can only understand someone complaining if they are traveling from a distance and don''t have a baby sitter that''s close to you.

 

[anchor31]

Ugh, I'm sorry this is happening to you! While I understand that some people feel the need to ask, it sucks that some people can't even get away from their children for one single night.

We are not inviting children either. With 54 aunts and uncles (yup, our 4 parents have 27 siblings in total, all of them married...), we simply have too many cousins, and since my FI's parents are not contributing to the wedding, we certainly do not have the financial means to invite everyone, neither do we care to anyway. My FI's mom threw a fit when we told her. On my FI's side, most of them are children (they are all adults in mine, I'm the youngest!), and she tried to guilt us into inviting them because "her (11!) brothers and sisters will not come if their children are not invited". I stared at her, thinking that she had to be kidding, and FI told her that if they didn't want to come, then they didn't have to. His mother was outraged ("how dare you, a wedding is about family, blah, blah, blah"), but I was very proud of him.

Our Save The Dates (which I need to finish asap) will be addressed similarly to the invitations to "Mrs and Mrs XYZ". Our website address is on it, and on our website it is indicated very clearly, both on the reception page and in the FAQ, that it is an Adult only reception. People may still ask, but we will not give in.

 

[robbie3982]

I''d be annoyed that they asked too if it specifically said "adult only reception" on the freakin STD. What do they think that means??? Be glad they asked instead of just bringing their kids though. My dad''s business partner just assumed that his kids were invited and brought them. We didn''t have an adult reception, but his kids names were not on the invitation and he never RSVPed that they were coming. He actually never RSVPed at all and my dad had to call him to find out what he and his wife were having for dinner. No mention that he was bringing his kids then either.

 

[Pandora II]

I''m not inviting children under 10 other than those from overseas, the flowergirls, babies under 1 year and immediate family (ie nephews and nieces). Most of these double or triple up.

For family I have stopped at first cousins, there are no ''and guests'' and couples must be married/engaged/living together for over a year.

With 120 max, there will be no space for extras and if anyone turns up with extras I have no idea what to do as there is NO space for more people to fit in the room, plus I have only hired 120 chairs!

I have a B list of 45 people anyway, so if people won''t come because of it - fine with me, I''ll invite someone else.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/9/2007 12:07:19 AM
Author:Neveah
Okay, need to vent. I sent STD''s last week. Wedding is 5/10/08.... really wanted to get hotel info out as many people are coming from out of town. I addressed the STD''s like I would the invitations..... i.e. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.... NOW, if you got (addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,and said ADULT RECEPTION) would you call the MOB and ''make sure'' little Sarah, John, and Billy are invited too???? HOW RUDE!!!!!!!
I made the decision from the start that I wanted an adult only reception. NO CHILDREN AT ALL. Our guest list is already 278.... well I''m not even making excuses.. I just don''t want any children there. I don''t want them on my dance floor, at the ceremoney, anywhere (no matter how well behaved they are!) Now I adore kids, but I just don''t want them there on MY wedding day! Is that so much to ask????
We have had 3 phone calls to ''make sure'' the kids were invited. Um, no....did you not see who the STD was addressed to? One of these people had the nerve to say, ''well if our kids aren''t welcome, we won''t be there'' ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Besides it being my decision, do these people not know how much weddings cost? My fiance and I are in our early 30''s...if we invited all the children of our friends/family we''d have (at least) an extra 40 people! I''m giving you 6 months to find childcare!
Someone even went so far as to say to me while we were out to dinner ''I really love when all the kids are welcome to celebrate a wedding. They always have so much fun and make it that much more festive'' Kiss my arse, seriously. And I''m just at the point where I''m like, ''if you don''t like it don''t come.'' Am I being crazy here??? Anyone else having this problem????

Oh Lordy! ROFLMAO!

Dave or I could have written that tirade! We were adamant -- NO CHILDREN!!!!! Period. End of story. Not gonna happen. Children may have fun at weddings, but not at ours. Thank you.

Now, does that mean that all family children would not have been included? NO. Just friends and co-workers children. It is completely and totally inappropriate to assume that your little ones should be tolerated by other people at every event. I don''t even want to see them in more upscale restaurants -- go to Denny''s!

I don''t dislike children, I dislike the parenting of most parents.

Tell these thoughtless individuals -- and make d--- sure your mother and mother-in-law do too -- that there will be no children allowed at your wedding and you''re sorry if that means they will not be joining you for the big day. Don''t roll over, and don''t sweat their tacky behavior. Stand firm!

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh, hold on, if it said ''ADULTS ONLY'' on the save the date? Then, duh, doesn''t get much clearer than that. So nix my last post. I''d be annoyed too.

 

[larussel03]

ugh, I hear ya. Our reception is "adults only" as well and we're trying to keep the crowd to 150. So, FI invited one of his cousins who is our age, but not her little sister who is under 18 (kind of odd, but it was his choice and I didn't even know about it till now). So his cousin pens in her little sister as her "guest" but doesn't write WHO the guest is, even thought the invitation was written out to just her (trying to be sneaky, I think, since the card said "adult reception" - otherwise why woudln't she put her name?)

We haven't decided what to do yet, we'll probably just let her come because she's not under 12, but I thought it was rude. We've had only 2 people pen in guests, though, when the invite wasn't addressed to both so that's good. We did have one family who was like "ok, she's bringing a guest, no she's not, well now she is." We're like "Dont send the card till you make up your mind!!!" Keeping in mind that this guest would be a bf, we only invited guests for people with SO's...

 

[Neveah]

Thanks for all the replys ladies. Looks like I''m not alone.... and not being totally unreasonably. Reading all of these really made me think more about it, and I decided that when the invites go out, if anyone "adds" their kids on I have NO problem making the "uncomfortable" phone call to tell them what is up.
I will also inform my wedding planner and the people in charge at the reception.... they are to have a "no admittance" policy if someone shows up with their children. That way they can deal with it, and I won''t have to worry about it. Harsh, maybe... but with STD and Invites that will clearly specify who''s invited, so be it.

 

[pennquaker09]

"Dave or I could have written that tirade! We were adamant -- NO CHILDREN!!!!! Period. End of story. Not gonna happen. Children may have fun at weddings, but not at ours. Thank you.

I don't even want to see them in more upscale restaurants -- go to Denny's!

I don't dislike children, I dislike the parenting of most parents.

Tell these thoughtless individuals -- and make d--- sure your mother and mother-in-law do too -- that there will be no children allowed at your wedding and you're sorry if that means they will not be joining you for the big day. Don't roll over, and don't sweat their tacky behavior. Stand firm!"

I think that's a bit much. Well, I'm biting my tongue, but yeah that's overboard. I've been to many upscale restaurants and never had an issue. My parents took me to upscale restaurants when I was younger. You're not paying for them to eat so it really can't be compared to a wedding. I wouldn't feed my kid Denny's to save my life.

I think some people are not aware of proper etiquette. I have babysitters on reserve just in case.

W

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/10/2007 3:15:25 PM
Author: pennquaker09
''Dave or I could have written that tirade! We were adamant -- NO CHILDREN!!!!! Period. End of story. Not gonna happen. Children may have fun at weddings, but not at ours. Thank you.

I don''t even want to see them in more upscale restaurants -- go to Denny''s!

I don''t dislike children, I dislike the parenting of most parents.

Tell these thoughtless individuals -- and make d--- sure your mother and mother-in-law do too -- that there will be no children allowed at your wedding and you''re sorry if that means they will not be joining you for the big day. Don''t roll over, and don''t sweat their tacky behavior. Stand firm!''

I think that''s a bit much. Well, I''m biting my tongue, but yeah that''s overboard. I''ve been to many upscale restaurants and never had an issue. My parents took me to upscale restaurants when I was younger. You''re not paying for them to eat so it really can''t be compared to a wedding. I wouldn''t feed my kid Denny''s to save my life.

I think some people are not aware of proper etiquette. I have babysitters on reserve just in case.

W

To each their own. This is a forum -- all viewpoints are valid. I''d say you''re probably in the minority on this issue, however.

 

[luckystar112]

hehe. I used to work at a restaurant. If I had a dollar for EVERY SINGLE TIME a kid was running in front of me/bumping into me with a tray of drinks in my hand I''d be a millionaire.
I used to sit there and watch babies open up individual packets of sugar and sweet and low and dump it everywhere---throw them at other kids, other patrons. Meanwhile the parents are just sitting there, doing nothing to stop it.

And then if the kid gets HURT from running all over the place after you''ve told them to slow down, whose fault is it? Not the parents....NO WAY.

I once got screamed at by a lady whose child fell in the restaurant. I had told her kid to stop running TWICE. The kid wasn''t wearing any SHOES. Had pulled them off as well as his socks less than 3ft from the mother. Mom was too busy talking though. I should have kicked them out right there (I was managing at the time).
One time when I was waitressing I watched a little girl walk up to one of my tables that had just left, pick up the cash on the table and put it in her pocket. She was like 8. So I walk up to the parents and tell them what I saw (as nicely as possible even though I was LIVID) and they were SO offended that I''d accuse their "little princess" of stealing. Didn''t even ask their daughter to empty her pockets and show them. Later, I saw a $20 peaking out of her pants, and I go, "Um....I think that''s my $20". All of a sudden the parents thought it was FUNNY after that. "hehe I can''t believe she did that. Take her out back and make her wash dishes! hehehe!"

I hate parents. Way too permissive nowadays. If I pulled stunts like that in restaurants, my mom would have grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of there. Nowadays someone would call CPS on you!

Needless to say I would give ANYTHING to be able to have a kid-free wedding, but there really aren''t any accomodations in the area for them.


END RANT!!!! LOL.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/12/2007 11:29:26 AM
Author: luckystar112
hehe. I used to work at a restaurant. If I had a dollar for EVERY SINGLE TIME a kid was running in front of me/bumping into me with a tray of drinks in my hand I''d be a millionaire.
I used to sit there and watch babies open up individual packets of sugar and sweet and low and dump it everywhere---throw them at other kids, other patrons. Meanwhile the parents are just sitting there, doing nothing to stop it.

And then if the kid gets HURT from running all over the place after you''ve told them to slow down, whose fault is it? Not the parents....NO WAY.

I once got screamed at by a lady whose child fell in the restaurant. I had told her kid to stop running TWICE. The kid wasn''t wearing any SHOES. Had pulled them off as well as his socks less than 3ft from the mother. Mom was too busy talking though. I should have kicked them out right there (I was managing at the time).
One time when I was waitressing I watched a little girl walk up to one of my tables that had just left, pick up the cash on the table and put it in her pocket. She was like 8. So I walk up to the parents and tell them what I saw (as nicely as possible even though I was LIVID) and they were SO offended that I''d accuse their ''little princess'' of stealing. Didn''t even ask their daughter to empty her pockets and show them. Later, I saw a $20 peaking out of her pants, and I go, ''Um....I think that''s my $20''. All of a sudden the parents thought it was FUNNY after that. ''hehe I can''t believe she did that. Take her out back and make her wash dishes! hehehe!''

I hate parents. Way too permissive nowadays. If I pulled stunts like that in restaurants, my mom would have grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of there. Nowadays someone would call CPS on you!

Needless to say I would give ANYTHING to be able to have a kid-free wedding, but there really aren''t any accomodations in the area for them.


END RANT!!!! LOL.

I believe you have made my point for me. Thank you!

 

[pennquaker09]

I don''t disagree, not all that much. I''m just going by what I have personally experienced. All the kids in my family, well my dads side of my family are little republican robots. They do as they''re told. I mean that as a joke btw.

I''m not having kids at mine, it''s not suitable for them to be there. However, since mine is miles away from where I''m from, I chose to supply babysitters. But a wedding and a restaurant are still two different things. Yes, some parents have questionable parenting skills, but I''m not paying for their meal so I have no place to say they cannot bring their children. I''m having kids soon!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/9/2007 11:23:22 PM
Author: Neveah
Thanks for all the replys ladies. Looks like I''m not alone.... and not being totally unreasonably. Reading all of these really made me think more about it, and I decided that when the invites go out, if anyone ''adds'' their kids on I have NO problem making the ''uncomfortable'' phone call to tell them what is up.
I will also inform my wedding planner and the people in charge at the reception.... they are to have a ''no admittance'' policy if someone shows up with their children. That way they can deal with it, and I won''t have to worry about it. Harsh, maybe... but with STD and Invites that will clearly specify who''s invited, so be it.

I''m in total agreement with you. It is your day, and you do not have to put up with anyone''s rude and selfish behavior. That IS what your wedding planner expects to do for you -- keep you completely serene.

 

[surfgirl]

"I don''t even want to see them in more upscale restaurants -- go to Denny''s!"

"I don''t dislike children, I dislike the parenting of most parents."

Oh, SO much WORD to this! I heartily concur!!

Honey, this is your day, your wedding and I TOTALLY understand why you wouldn''t want kids at your wedding. My cousin just got married and my mother told me how "cute" it was that my 6 year old nephew was breakdancing all night long and "had a crowd around him". My sister''s version included having to drag him off the dancefloor because he was taking up so much room. If I was there he''d have been in his hotel room long before that ever happened...and if I was the bride I''d be hella pissed that some little snot nosed kid was taking up the entire dance floor of my wedding with his antics...*phew, I feel better getting that off my chest!*

So yeah, STAND FIRM and make sure your family members know to say "NO CHILDREN"! Dont cave in. You can see how many people here understand your position. It''s not you, it''s them! And if they dont want to come, then fine, you know who your real friends are, dont you? Think of it as a way to whittle down a huge guest list. It would probably be helpful if you talked with those family members who will get these calls, and script a response to both the question, and the negative reaction, so your family is more comfortable when these phonecalls come in.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 11/13/2007 1:28:21 PM
Author: surfgirl
''I don''t even want to see them in more upscale restaurants -- go to Denny''s!''

''I don''t dislike children, I dislike the parenting of most parents.''

Oh, SO much WORD to this! I heartily concur!!

Honey, this is your day, your wedding and I TOTALLY understand why you wouldn''t want kids at your wedding. My cousin just got married and my mother told me how ''cute'' it was that my 6 year old nephew was breakdancing all night long and ''had a crowd around him''. My sister''s version included having to drag him off the dancefloor because he was taking up so much room. If I was there he''d have been in his hotel room long before that ever happened...and if I was the bride I''d be hella pissed that some little snot nosed kid was taking up the entire dance floor of my wedding with his antics...*phew, I feel better getting that off my chest!*

So yeah, STAND FIRM and make sure your family members know to say ''NO CHILDREN''! Dont cave in. You can see how many people here understand your position. It''s not you, it''s them! And if they dont want to come, then fine, you know who your real friends are, dont you? Think of it as a way to whittle down a huge guest list. It would probably be helpful if you talked with those family members who will get these calls, and script a response to both the question, and the negative reaction, so your family is more comfortable when these phonecalls come in.

I had worried maybe I had said something offensive on a similar thread, when you put ''Word!'' under a comment of mine!

I hadn''t heard it before and wasn''t sure what it meant. Seems from reading this post, that you agreed with my sentiments, so I''m very relieved!

 

[Harleigh]

I completely agree w/Pandora & Surfgirl...it is YOUR day and YOUR choice, so do what makes you the happiest.

We are experiencing the same situation as I personalized each RSVP that said we had saved 2 seats in their honor and room to fill out how many of the 2 would be attending our wedding in Maui.

On the welcome letter in the invitation boxes, I also made it clear that the wedding and dinner reception in Maui was for adults only and that all family members would be welcome at our wedding reception when we returned home. I have already felt like we offended by putting that, but it''s our choice, so there you have it!

Best of luck with your situation...sorry you''re having to deal with this!

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 11/13/2007 1:51:06 PM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 11/13/2007 1:28:21 PM
Author: surfgirl
''I don''t even want to see them in more upscale restaurants -- go to Denny''s!''

''I don''t dislike children, I dislike the parenting of most parents.''

Oh, SO much WORD to this! I heartily concur!!

Honey, this is your day, your wedding and I TOTALLY understand why you wouldn''t want kids at your wedding. My cousin just got married and my mother told me how ''cute'' it was that my 6 year old nephew was breakdancing all night long and ''had a crowd around him''. My sister''s version included having to drag him off the dancefloor because he was taking up so much room. If I was there he''d have been in his hotel room long before that ever happened...and if I was the bride I''d be hella pissed that some little snot nosed kid was taking up the entire dance floor of my wedding with his antics...*phew, I feel better getting that off my chest!*

So yeah, STAND FIRM and make sure your family members know to say ''NO CHILDREN''! Dont cave in. You can see how many people here understand your position. It''s not you, it''s them! And if they dont want to come, then fine, you know who your real friends are, dont you? Think of it as a way to whittle down a huge guest list. It would probably be helpful if you talked with those family members who will get these calls, and script a response to both the question, and the negative reaction, so your family is more comfortable when these phonecalls come in.

I had worried maybe I had said something offensive on a similar thread, when you put ''Word!'' under a comment of mine!

I hadn''t heard it before and wasn''t sure what it meant. Seems from reading this post, that you agreed with my sentiments, so I''m very relieved!

Ha! I forget that you''re on the other side of the pond (I loathe that expression, BTW, I dont know why!) and that sometimes the street slang here might sound off to your British ears...Rest assured, when I was acclimating to my Peace Corps assignment as a teacher years ago in a former British colony and I realized that I''d have to call an eraser a "rubber", I felt equally off balance!

Word! comes from street/ghetto slang, shortened from the expression, "Word to your mother!" which also means "right on" if I''m not mistaken, though it makes no sense to me... I am available for UK-US translation any time you feel the need!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 11/14/2007 2:21:22 AM
Author: surfgirl
Ha! I forget that you''re on the other side of the pond (I loathe that expression, BTW, I dont know why!) and that sometimes the street slang here might sound off to your British ears...Rest assured, when I was acclimating to my Peace Corps assignment as a teacher years ago in a former British colony and I realized that I''d have to call an eraser a ''rubber'', I felt equally off balance!

Word! comes from street/ghetto slang, shortened from the expression, ''Word to your mother!'' which also means ''right on'' if I''m not mistaken, though it makes no sense to me... I am available for UK-US translation any time you feel the need!

The ''rubber'' one is always a good one! We all struggle with ''pants'' which is what you call underwear here - normally for kids, women have ''knickers''!

Which ex-British colony were you in? Please don''t tell me it was Kiribati!


I had to send a mass email to all FI and my friends before the STD''s or invitations went out, due to major lack of accommodation in my area - I''m holding a massive block booking and need to confirm.

So far, the friend of ours with a kid, replied saying - "Since Aneurin will be nearly one, we''ll be leaving him with my mother or similar so please book us in for the night."

Yay, I LOVE my friends! One down, nine to go...

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 11/14/2007 1:06:24 PM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 11/14/2007 2:21:22 AM

Author: surfgirl

Ha! I forget that you''re on the other side of the pond (I loathe that expression, BTW, I dont know why!) and that sometimes the street slang here might sound off to your British ears...Rest assured, when I was acclimating to my Peace Corps assignment as a teacher years ago in a former British colony and I realized that I''d have to call an eraser a ''rubber'', I felt equally off balance!


Word! comes from street/ghetto slang, shortened from the expression, ''Word to your mother!'' which also means ''right on'' if I''m not mistaken, though it makes no sense to me... I am available for UK-US translation any time you feel the need!

The ''rubber'' one is always a good one! We all struggle with ''pants'' which is what you call underwear here - normally for kids, women have ''knickers''!


Which ex-British colony were you in? Please don''t tell me it was Kiribati!



I had to send a mass email to all FI and my friends before the STD''s or invitations went out, due to major lack of accommodation in my area - I''m holding a massive block booking and need to confirm.


So far, the friend of ours with a kid, replied saying - ''Since Aneurin will be nearly one, we''ll be leaving him with my mother or similar so please book us in for the night.''


Yay, I LOVE my friends! One down, nine to go...

Pandora, I didn''t know that about ''pants''...heh...I still think "jumper" is an odd name for a sweater though. Rub the board, dustbin, all little oddities I had to learn. It was Botswana, but I cannot believe you said Kiribati because I''ve worked there on a few occasions! Nobody EVER knows where Kiribati even is most of the time, let alone how to say it properly. Have you been there? It''s quite a unique place. Very desolate feeling. Last time I was there for a month and when it was time to depart, we heard the plane coming for us has an oxygen bag problem so they had grounded the plane in Fiji and it took 2 weeks to get the correct replacement part from Sweden (after sending the wrong one!). Needless to say, just a little cabin fever...

Oh, on topic, yeah for your friends replies. See, that is how a friend is supposed to respond!

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 11/9/2007 12:07:19 AM
Author:Neveah
Okay, need to vent. I sent STD''s last week. Wedding is 5/10/08.... really wanted to get hotel info out as many people are coming from out of town. I addressed the STD''s like I would the invitations..... i.e. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.... NOW, if you got (addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,and said ADULT RECEPTION) would you call the MOB and ''make sure'' little Sarah, John, and Billy are invited too???? HOW RUDE!!!!!!!
I made the decision from the start that I wanted an adult only reception. NO CHILDREN AT ALL. Our guest list is already 278.... well I''m not even making excuses.. I just don''t want any children there. I don''t want them on my dance floor, at the ceremoney, anywhere (no matter how well behaved they are!) Now I adore kids, but I just don''t want them there on MY wedding day! Is that so much to ask????
We have had 3 phone calls to ''make sure'' the kids were invited. Um, no....did you not see who the STD was addressed to? One of these people had the nerve to say, ''well if our kids aren''t welcome, we won''t be there'' ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Besides it being my decision, do these people not know how much weddings cost? My fiance and I are in our early 30''s...if we invited all the children of our friends/family we''d have (at least) an extra 40 people! I''m giving you 6 months to find childcare!
Someone even went so far as to say to me while we were out to dinner ''I really love when all the kids are welcome to celebrate a wedding. They always have so much fun and make it that much more festive'' Kiss my arse, seriously. And I''m just at the point where I''m like, ''if you don''t like it don''t come.'' Am I being crazy here??? Anyone else having this problem????

My response?

"Great....thanks for letting me know so early. I''m sorry you won''t be coming, and I''m touched that you took the time to personally phone your regrets."

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 11/14/2007 1:23:57 PM
Author: surfgirl

Pandora, I didn''t know that about ''pants''...heh...I still think ''jumper'' is an odd name for a sweater though. Rub the board, dustbin, all little oddities I had to learn. It was Botswana, but I cannot believe you said Kiribati because I''ve worked there on a few occasions! Nobody EVER knows where Kiribati even is most of the time, let alone how to say it properly. Have you been there? It''s quite a unique place. Very desolate feeling. Last time I was there for a month and when it was time to depart, we heard the plane coming for us has an oxygen bag problem so they had grounded the plane in Fiji and it took 2 weeks to get the correct replacement part from Sweden (after sending the wrong one!). Needless to say, just a little cabin fever...

Oh, on topic, yeah for your friends replies. See, that is how a friend is supposed to respond!

Mauri-o!

I grew up on Tarawa. Went out there in 1975 when I was 4 and left in 1980. My dad was one of the doctors out there. My brother was also born there in 1977, so has dual nationality. No-one ever knows where it is when he puts it on legal documents.

I loved it, and still feel quite homesick for the place, though I think it''s changed a lot. I lived in Bikenibeu and went to Rurubao School on Bairiki. I spoke Gilbertese quite well as a child, but have forgotten a lot - my parents and I still use expressions like ''I-Matang'' and ''akea te whatever'' and ''Ko rabwa''. We still run a ''bubuti'' system in our family.

I read ''The Sex Lives of Cannibals'' recently and it nearly broke my heart to hear how it has changed. I think it''s one case where they were better off as a British colony. It was a beautiful island when I was there - hard work and not much food as the ship sometimes forgot to stop (still does it seems) and everything happens tomorrow maybe. The people were particularly friendly to us children and we were spoilt rotten.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/14/2007 3:10:47 PM
Author: aljdewey

Date: 11/9/2007 12:07:19 AM
Author:Neveah
Okay, need to vent. I sent STD''s last week. Wedding is 5/10/08.... really wanted to get hotel info out as many people are coming from out of town. I addressed the STD''s like I would the invitations..... i.e. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.... NOW, if you got (addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,and said ADULT RECEPTION) would you call the MOB and ''make sure'' little Sarah, John, and Billy are invited too???? HOW RUDE!!!!!!!
I made the decision from the start that I wanted an adult only reception. NO CHILDREN AT ALL. Our guest list is already 278.... well I''m not even making excuses.. I just don''t want any children there. I don''t want them on my dance floor, at the ceremoney, anywhere (no matter how well behaved they are!) Now I adore kids, but I just don''t want them there on MY wedding day! Is that so much to ask????
We have had 3 phone calls to ''make sure'' the kids were invited. Um, no....did you not see who the STD was addressed to? One of these people had the nerve to say, ''well if our kids aren''t welcome, we won''t be there'' ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Besides it being my decision, do these people not know how much weddings cost? My fiance and I are in our early 30''s...if we invited all the children of our friends/family we''d have (at least) an extra 40 people! I''m giving you 6 months to find childcare!
Someone even went so far as to say to me while we were out to dinner ''I really love when all the kids are welcome to celebrate a wedding. They always have so much fun and make it that much more festive'' Kiss my arse, seriously. And I''m just at the point where I''m like, ''if you don''t like it don''t come.'' Am I being crazy here??? Anyone else having this problem????

My response?

''Great....thanks for letting me know so early. I''m sorry you won''t be coming, and I''m touched that you took the time to personally phone your regrets.''

Well, there you go. Appropriately snarky without being offensive! Love it!

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 11/10/2007 3:15:25 PM
Author: pennquaker09
'Dave or I could have written that tirade! We were adamant -- NO CHILDREN!!!!! Period. End of story. Not gonna happen. Children may have fun at weddings, but not at ours. Thank you.

I don't even want to see them in more upscale restaurants -- go to Denny's!

I don't dislike children, I dislike the parenting of most parents.

Tell these thoughtless individuals -- and make d--- sure your mother and mother-in-law do too -- that there will be no children allowed at your wedding and you're sorry if that means they will not be joining you for the big day. Don't roll over, and don't sweat their tacky behavior. Stand firm!'

I think that's a bit much. Well, I'm biting my tongue, but yeah that's overboard. I've been to many upscale restaurants and never had an issue. My parents took me to upscale restaurants when I was younger. You're not paying for them to eat so it really can't be compared to a wedding. I wouldn't feed my kid Denny's to save my life.

You are entitled to your opinion, of course, and I'm delighted that you've never had an issue. I wish I could say the same, but I've witnessed problems with unruly children at several upscale establishments. Accordingly, I can certainly see why some folks feel as they do, and I don't agree that their feeling are 'a bit much'.

While I understand that they have to learn someplace, I don't think it should be at the expense of others who 1) didn't bring their children just because they wanted an escape from such behavior for an evening or 2) don't have children and didn't sign up to be a 'training camp' experience for someone else's children at a very heavy cost to them.

While I may not be paying for those children to eat at the upscale restaurant, I'm spending quite a few of my own coins to have a certain elegant dining experience. I'm not receptive to allowing ANYONE -- whether it's an unruly child or an incredibly obnoxious drunk -- to infringe on that experience.