How would you feel??

[Blackpaw]

Date: 1/27/2009 4:06:36 PM
Author: fieryred33143
Wow

I am just...wow.

Hear hear

It is strange, it sounds like a teenage romance when a mum is involved to that extent IMOH - i think they''re all a bit nuts quite frankly

...but then each to their own i guess

 

[meresal]

Date: 1/28/2009 12:50:39 PM
Author: ALittleObsessed

You're completely right. Actually, my fiance admitted that he felt a little overwhelmed with the process so I started looking with him. I agree that it's a huge purchase and the buyer should know what they are looking for. With that said, Mary told me she wouldn't give SO any serious hints or shop with him because he was the kind of guy that would want to do it himself and want it to be a surprise. He's done a good job at getting her gifts before. (Coach wallet for her birthday only two months after dating - this was a huge surprise and the perfect gift for her. He also got her a Movado watch for Christmas which would have been a surprise but she accidentally saw it on his computer.) He's is definitely capable of doing this on his own and I'm sure wanted to.

I'm sorry if this comes off harsh:

but, Do you know this for a fact?

Yes he bought her a watch (quite a few hundred $$), a coach wallet (couple hundered $$)... but an engagement ring, which is a couple thousand, is a totally different fact. This is something that many guys just don't want to mess up and get anxiety over. Him asking for help, whether it be from a jeweler that is trying to scam him, or his mom, who he knows will find the absolute best... your friend doesn't care.

Your friend is happy, he obviously treats her well, and she's getting the ring she wants. What's the problem?

 

[ALittleObsessed]

Date: 1/27/2009 5:17:12 PM
Author: trillionaire
Wait, I thought that FMIL HAD a marquise diamond already that she was offering, and then she just up and bought something else? Tres strange... I am always a little concerned when me are uninvolved or uninterested in something that is so important to their women, but if your friend is happy then congrats to all three of them!

The last thing I heard from Mary before she told me the mom bought the ring was that the mom had asked her if she really wanted the marquise or one of the shapes she wanted before (princess or asscher). I don''t know what Mary told her, but I''m assuming she either told her she wasn''t sure, or that the princess and asschers were really her favorites. I''ve actually been refreshing BlueNile''s recently purchased ring list to see if anything comes up that could be the ring. All I know is that it''s .53ct, E, and has side stones.

 

[ALittleObsessed]

Date: 1/28/2009 1:03:43 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 1/28/2009 12:50:39 PM

Author: ALittleObsessed


You''re completely right. Actually, my fiance admitted that he felt a little overwhelmed with the process so I started looking with him. I agree that it''s a huge purchase and the buyer should know what they are looking for. With that said, Mary told me she wouldn''t give SO any serious hints or shop with him because he was the kind of guy that would want to do it himself and want it to be a surprise. He''s done a good job at getting her gifts before. (Coach wallet for her birthday only two months after dating - this was a huge surprise and the perfect gift for her. He also got her a Movado watch for Christmas which would have been a surprise but she accidentally saw it on his computer.) He''s is definitely capable of doing this on his own and I''m sure wanted to.

I''m sorry if this comes off harsh:


but, Do you know this for a fact?

No, you''re right, I don''t know this for a fact. She seemed to be sure of this so I just assumed.

I want to thank all of you who are disagreeing with me. I didn''t just open this thread to complain and have everyone agree with me. I needed someone to convince me that this situation isn''t as bad as it seems to me.

 

[wishinpink]

I don't think it's that bad! I mean, it's a little strange, but at least this shows that the MIL likes her ? I think the MIL just doesn't have as sentimental an attachment to jewelry, or thinks that's she's being helpful.

It would've been really bad if the MIL just bought the ring without asking her what she likes, but at least she was asked what she prefers, and now her FF will get to plan the proposal! The MIL shows that she does recognize boudaries- by giving the man the ring, and letting him choose his time, his way. Maybe her boundaries are a little different than other people's, but that's okay as long as Mary wasn't offended?

When my parents got married, my dad's mother bought the ring for my mom too. It was kind of like her present to the couple and her way of showing that she approves because my parents were really broke at the time.

 

[ALittleObsessed]

If anyone is curious for an update, my friend Mary did officially get engaged on Valentine''s Day. The ring she ended up with is very different from the suggestions she gave the MIL, but she says she is glad it ended up being more of a surprise even if it wasn''t exactly what she had wanted. The styles she showed MIL were all similar to this, but the ring she got was this one

As for MIL stepping over boundaries, Mary did admit that she didn''t like how she was also giving SO proposal ideas. She had already picked out all of the "Marry Me" hearts out of a box of those gross candies to give to him. She was basically doing all of the work. He decided to propose his own way by tying the ring around her cat''s collar and making her chase the cat around the house to retrieve the ring

 

[happydreams]

Date: 2/24/2009 12:17:14 PM
Author: ALittleObsessed
If anyone is curious for an update, my friend Mary did officially get engaged on Valentine''s Day. The ring she ended up with is very different from the suggestions she gave the MIL, but she says she is glad it ended up being more of a surprise even if it wasn''t exactly what she had wanted. The styles she showed MIL were all similar to this, but the ring she got was this one

As for MIL stepping over boundaries, Mary did admit that she didn''t like how she was also giving SO proposal ideas. She had already picked out all of the ''Marry Me'' hearts out of a box of those gross candies to give to him. She was basically doing all of the work. He decided to propose his own way by tying the ring around her cat''s collar and making her chase the cat around the house to retrieve the ring

I actually liked the one she GOT vs. the one she wanted. (irrelevent)
that proposal idea is actually really cute. lol. it''s a good thing he thought of his own proposal idea.
it''s one thing for the mom to help pick out the ring (understandable as it could be quite overwhelming)
but another for her to plan the proposal

 

[tlh]

can you imagine eating the will you marry me hearts after several hands had been on them... yuk.
His proposal was sweet. I like it indeed.

You know I still kept the packet from Taco bell that my nowDh gave me when we were dating.... he said... I think you''ll like to use this one.. for my burito. It was a joke, but It is still on our fridge. My DH says I am a dork... i guess I am... but I thought it was cute... that and I told him if I didn''t get a real proposal I''d squirt it all over him, and I was saving it for just that occasion.