i am slowly becoming ridiculous

[jbear]

I''ve been lurking on this board and thought I''d post. As an introduction: my BF and I have been together about 2 years, blah blah blah... recently moved in together, blah blah... we love and are very happy with each other, blah blah... I wonder when he''ll propose, blah blah...he says he wants it to be a surprise, blah... I think it''ll happen everytime he sneezes, blah, blah blah... then I think it will never happen, or at least not in my timeframe, blah blah blah... slowly descending into madness and obsession over this one thing and it is consuming my life, blah blah blah blah...

The other day I made an excel spreadsheet with some potential guests for the wedding . Um... I am not even engaged and there is no wedding date on the horizon. I did not go as far as to add HIS guests. I guess I thought that would be the crazy line.

I''m so embarrassed.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/27/2008 2:03:24 PM
Author:jbear
I''ve been lurking on this board and thought I''d post. As an introduction: my BF and I have been together about 2 years, blah blah blah... recently moved in together, blah blah... we love and are very happy with each other, blah blah... I wonder when he''ll propose, blah blah...he says he wants it to be a surprise, blah... I think it''ll happen everytime he sneezes, blah, blah blah... then I think it will never happen, or at least not in my timeframe, blah blah blah... slowly descending into madness and obsession over this one thing and it is consuming my life, blah blah blah blah...

The other day I made an excel spreadsheet with some potential guests for the wedding . Um... I am not even engaged and there is no wedding date on the horizon. I did not go as far as to add HIS guests. I guess I thought that would be the crazy line.

I''m so embarrassed.

Girl, you''re embarrassed over THAT? You obviously haven''t lurked enough...there are plenty of gals who do far more than that before they are ever engaged. You ain''t anywhere NEAR the crazy line.

Welcome to PS!

 

[Erin]

Been there. Done that.

I don''t know what the magic solution is.

I guess it''s to pick up a new hobby which

1) consumes your time
2) develops your skills - continous learning
3) reinforces how interesting you are and how much there is still to learn about you
4) gets you involved with new people, potentially new friends
5) it''s like dieting. you think you feel hungry? (you want to bring it up to your boyfriend or make a ''not so'' subtle remark?) drink water or take a walk (resume working on the painting) and see if the hunger passes

 

[sunnyd]

I am not embarrassed to say that I have a profile on the knot with all possible guests listed, as well as various other things saved for future reference. LOL, so if that makes you crazy, I should be locked up.

And I know I''m not the only one!!!

Right? Anyone...?

Welcome!

 

[honey22]

Welcome! Firstly, you don''t need to feel embarrassed here - we are a friendly bunch! Very supportive, but if you ask for an opinion, be prepared to hear the truth! This place is good when you need a bit of clarity.

As hard as it is waiting, try not to let it consume you! I know it''s sometimes easier said than done, but try and just enjoy your time with your partner. If it''s really still on your mind, sit down and have a chat with him. Find out if you are even on the same page about marriage, the future etc. You mentioned that he wanted it to be a suprise? Imagine how you would feel if he was in fact planning something and you ruined the suprise? But that said, I think it''s important for you both to be open and honest about the future, make sure you are wanting the same place and are going in the same direction.

If it makes you feel any better (and I am not sure that it will), we just purchased my ering after nearly 12 YEARS together! I can honestly look back now and say we did the right thing by waiting, it just wouldn''t have felt right at another point in our lives. I am not suggesting that waiting for this long is the right thing to do, but depending on your personal situation, sometimes it just isn''t the right time to get married. The length of time you have been together shouldn''t make a difference, it''s the quality of your relationship and how you both feel that counts. Maybe he just needs a little more time?

Don''t forget to add your name to the LIW list, and hang around and here all the crazy things others have done too - you won''t feel so silly soon!

 

[Kayakqueen83]

jbear,

I think that maybe I fell asleep, and in my sleep made a new PS account and posted under the name jbear.

Did it. Done it. Probibly will do it again. haha.

Like the other ladies stated you just may want to find a hobby to occupy your time!. For me personally, I started working out. I feel great about myself. I get to zone out and have some "me" time while I'm running AND (most importantly) I'm on my way to looking really hot in a wedding dress....whenever that may happen.

Good luck!

 

[jbear]

I suppose cooking lessons may help take my mind off it! I''ve been meaning to look into that.

Goodness. I have an inkling what I''m in for. Thanks for letting me know I''m normal (at least here). I have indeed begun the "snooping around the BF''s stuff" maneuver. I''m horrified by my snoopiness (my best friend is more horrified than I am, but then again her husband called her his "wife" on their second date by some freudian slip, and he proposed in a year, so she does not understand the agony that is my life), but I did find a couple interesting things relating to diamonds... that doesn''t mean anything is really happening now, but it''s promising. I guess I''ll resign myself to getting even crazier.

I did have a little tantrum in January regarding his intentions, and though I''m ashamed about the tantrum part (it''s not my character and has never been performed in the past), I realized that he does intend the same things for our relationship. I guess the patience part is the hardest and I really should enjoy the relationship itself. So off to look into cooking lessons....and maybe just one invitation idea

 

[chizzy1982]

Hi Jbear and welcome!

No need to feel embarressed sweets, I''ve done the same thing! Heck I''ve looked at dresses and venues,decided what church we''re getting married in and have chosen the cake and there is still no ring on my finger!

You''re not alone Jbear!!!

 

[star sparkle]

Yup, done that too! Recently I''ve been thinking about what I want my wedding colors to be, and I''m not engaged yet either.

 

[KCCutie]

jbear -

I''m pretty new here too and I felt the same way. I thought it must be me I must be crazy, but the ladies here are so great. I now know that it''s not just me - can''t rule out the crazy part yet but hey who really can.

I think that''s one of the reasons I refuse to move in with my SO before we are engaged I think that step would make me absolutely crazy wondering when the engagement would come.

Trust me I''m no where near engaged (in fact today when I mentioned to my SO that I added him as my SO on Facebook and he would need to approve it he jokingly said "good luck with that", but that''s another story) and I have put together guest lists, which are small b/c we want a destination wedding, but I''ve also looked up venues and possible guest accommodations for our first choice and airline tickets. Now I haven''t made a spreadsheet yet but that''s only b/c I''m really scared my SO might find it.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I totally did the same thing and almost drove FI crazy at one point.

Haha. Just try, keyword: try, to be patient.

 

[choro72]

If this would make you feel better, I have multiple choices as to how to get my wedding gown. I know what I would like for a centerpiece and where to get the materials. Same thing for favors, invitations, and bouquets. I have a plan on what to make my BMs wear. I know what kind of cake I want. I''ve done all of this before I MET my BF

So, no, you are not mad

I am prepared for all of this to change once we get engaged.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/27/2008 2:18:35 PM
Author: sunnyd
I am not embarrassed to say that I have a profile on the knot with all possible guests listed, as well as various other things saved for future reference. LOL, so if that makes you crazy, I should be locked up.

And I know I'm not the only one!!!

Right? Anyone...?

Welcome!

Right! I've got a guest list, and tons of ideas. Actually scratch that, I have the whole wedding planned, except budget, nothing bought, and I haven't talked to vendors. But as soon as that rock (sapphire) is on my hand, baby, it's a done deal within a week.

Basically, you've got some catching up to do!

Hee hee, Welcome!

ETA: Seriously, I've got the cake planned out-flavors, design, all elements except the cake topper(need to think about that), how the room will be set up, centerpieces, logistics for music-even started a music list, what he'll wear, what color everything is going to be, what kind of food, who is invited-he's talked about this so i feel better about that, attendants, honeymoon, flowers, which room in the venue, and how to deal with the big ugly Indian pots that are on display in there...there is more, but I'll spare you!

 

[LegacyGirl]

You''re not crazy at all! Just excited!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

on the plus side though ladies-

planning in advance gives you more time to enjoy your engagement leading up to the wedding instead of going stir-crazy thats partly why i have done some planning, ive seen lots of bridezillas in my time(which isnt that long) lol

 

[Sparkalicious]

jbear - Don''t be embarrassed! What a stroke of genius!

Oh my! I feel so behind now ... granted I''m not yet engaged, however, when it happens, I''ll be so far behind!

I have no idea why I never thought about starting planning beforehand.

You ladies are always right on top of things ... skulking off into a dark corner to start making a list and to pay more attention to the goings on in Brides in Waiting board ... Aggh!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 2/27/2008 5:38:52 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Right! I''ve got a guest list, and tons of ideas. Actually scratch that, I have the whole wedding planned, except budget, nothing bought, and I haven''t talked to vendors. But as soon as that rock (sapphire) is on my hand, baby, it''s a done deal within a week.

HAHA!!! Me too. I think that''s where I draw the line to crazy. Just kidding...if BF wouldn''t freak out, I''d probably have it all ready to go by the time he proposed.

"Will you marry me?"
"YES!! Sweet, everything''s ready, we''ll get married next week."

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/28/2008 11:51:10 AM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 2/27/2008 5:38:52 PM

Author: FrekeChild

Right! I''ve got a guest list, and tons of ideas. Actually scratch that, I have the whole wedding planned, except budget, nothing bought, and I haven''t talked to vendors. But as soon as that rock (sapphire) is on my hand, baby, it''s a done deal within a week.

HAHA!!! Me too. I think that''s where I draw the line to crazy. Just kidding...if BF wouldn''t freak out, I''d probably have it all ready to go by the time he proposed.

''Will you marry me?''

''YES!! Sweet, everything''s ready, we''ll get married next week.''

You''ve got me sitting on my couch giggling sunnyd. If BF were home he''d want to know whats so funny, and I''d have to make up something or risk getting laughed at.

One of his reasons for putting the proposal off is that he doesn''t want me to get stressed out planning it, because I''ll stress him out, and he''s too busy right now to get stressed out.

Little does he know, all I have to do is get some kind of budget, set a date, and talk to vendors. Bam! Instant wedding!

But the other reason is money, so I guess that one is good enough to hold out for a while. Heh.

I''m still giggling...

 

[cammy85]

haha, try having your boyfriend tell you you might as well start planning because we want to be ready when *it* happens.

I''m trying not to think about it, and he''s suggesting I start planning for a wedding when I''m not engaged haha. I know it''s coming eventually, but it makes it that much harder with the hinting.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 2/28/2008 11:56:51 AM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 2/28/2008 11:51:10 AM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 2/27/2008 5:38:52 PM

Author: FrekeChild

Right! I''ve got a guest list, and tons of ideas. Actually scratch that, I have the whole wedding planned, except budget, nothing bought, and I haven''t talked to vendors. But as soon as that rock (sapphire) is on my hand, baby, it''s a done deal within a week.

HAHA!!! Me too. I think that''s where I draw the line to crazy. Just kidding...if BF wouldn''t freak out, I''d probably have it all ready to go by the time he proposed.

''Will you marry me?''

''YES!! Sweet, everything''s ready, we''ll get married next week.''

You''ve got me sitting on my couch giggling sunnyd. If BF were home he''d want to know whats so funny, and I''d have to make up something or risk getting laughed at.

One of his reasons for putting the proposal off is that he doesn''t want me to get stressed out planning it, because I''ll stress him out, and he''s too busy right now to get stressed out.

Little does he know, all I have to do is get some kind of budget, set a date, and talk to vendors. Bam! Instant wedding!

But the other reason is money, so I guess that one is good enough to hold out for a while. Heh.

I''m still giggling...

Wow, me too freke!!! The main reason he said he wasn''t ready to get married (months ago) was because he wasn''t ready for all the stress that weddings cause. He also thought a wedding could happen in about 3 months...

Well, what am I saying, in our case, it probably could!! Hahaha.

 

[chocolatefudge]

jbear don''t be embarassed, if you saw my computer you may think me to be a little crzy. In my favourites section I have folders for every aspect of my wedding (no, I''m not enagaged yet!)

I have a section for:

- Wedding dresses
- Bridesmaid Dresses
- Wedding Rings
- Cars
- Venues
- Favours
- Caterers
- Florists
- Photogrpahers
- Invitations

I spent a whole day going through the phone book and visiting the websites from the adverts. I had such a good time!!

I also have a secret stash of wedding magazines hidden in a drawer upstairs.

Oh! And I''ve also taken to leaving engagement ring brochures in key places around the house for SO to see. The bathroom is my favourite as he seems to do most of his reading in there!!

I also sneaked onto his computer one day and saved my favourite Tiffany ring in his favourites!

Ok, I think I may have just CROSSED the line......

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 2/28/2008 4:14:15 PM
Author: chocolatefudge
jbear don''t be embarassed, if you saw my computer you may think me to be a little crzy. In my favourites section I have folders for every aspect of my wedding (no, I''m not enagaged yet!)

I have a section for:

- Wedding dresses
- Bridesmaid Dresses
- Wedding Rings
- Cars
- Venues
- Favours
- Caterers
- Florists
- Photogrpahers
- Invitations

I spent a whole day going through the phone book and visiting the websites from the adverts. I had such a good time!!

I also have a secret stash of wedding magazines hidden in a drawer upstairs.

Oh! And I''ve also taken to leaving engagement ring brochures in key places around the house for SO to see. The bathroom is my favourite as he seems to do most of his reading in there!!

I also sneaked onto his computer one day and saved my favourite Tiffany ring in his favourites!

Ok, I think I may have just CROSSED the line......

Fudgey, my ring is saved as our desktop!

 

[choro72]

Date: 2/28/2008 4:14:15 PM

Author: chocolatefudge

I also sneaked onto his computer one day and saved my favourite Tiffany ring in his favourites!

Ok, I think I may have just CROSSED the line......

Fudgey, my ring is saved as our desktop!

I choked on my chicken lunch when I read this...

I'm like fudge too! I have a whole "WeddingStuff" folder with dresses, where to get them, budget breakdown, supplies, hair pictures...

 

[pjean]

Count me as another pre-planner. Unfortunately, I tend to worry about money and guest lists, but I''ve also had a lovely time sorting out all the details. Of course, many (most?) of those will change once bf is involved and we have to start doing things for real, but it''s a fun way to spend time now.

The one line I''ve drawn for myself: I have not bought any wedding magazines or books. None. I look at websites, but no magazines until I go to the bookstore with a ring on my finger. I think it''s a personal challenge.

 

[eaglesgal]

Excel guest list: check!
Wedding planning folder on computer: check!
Ring drooling: check!
Brides magazine hidden in closet: check!
Scoping out 2009 calendar for *possible* wedding date: check!

So don''t feel bad! But when my mom told me about a dress sale tomorrow, I did draw the line there. Not going to try on wedding dresses without a ring.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/28/2008 6:34:05 PM
Author: pjean
Count me as another pre-planner. Unfortunately, I tend to worry about money and guest lists, but I''ve also had a lovely time sorting out all the details. Of course, many (most?) of those will change once bf is involved and we have to start doing things for real, but it''s a fun way to spend time now.


The one line I''ve drawn for myself: I have not bought any wedding magazines or books. None. I look at websites, but no magazines until I go to the bookstore with a ring on my finger. I think it''s a personal challenge.

Lol pjean! I have several magazines and even books, but it''s for research purposes because I make wedding cakes for special people

.

However, I didn''t just go to the library and look at wedding cake photos...

Of course some of those books have info in them that to copy all the pages would cost more than the book itself, like how many slices per size of cake, what tools to use for what effects, recipes etc. But of course that''s the one book thats exclusively wedding cakes...

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/28/2008 10:12:27 PM
Author: eaglesgal
Excel guest list: check!
Wedding planning folder on computer: check!
Ring drooling: check!
Brides magazine hidden in closet: check!
Scoping out 2009 calendar for *possible* wedding date: check!

So don''t feel bad! But when my mom told me about a dress sale tomorrow, I did draw the line there. Not going to try on wedding dresses without a ring.

The Knot profile completely filled out: check!
Multiple wedding folders on Firefox: check!
Multiple wedding folders on Internet Explorer: check!
Multiple e-ring stones open in Firefox at any given time: check!
Brides magazines/books in bookcase (out in the open): check!
Scoping out 2010 and 2011 calendar for possible wedding date: check!
Ruler on coffee table for wedding band/e-ring measurements: check!

Yeah I''m not going to do dresses either. Or anything I have to pay for or actually harassing vendors.

BF just caught me typing this and rolled his eyes and said that it''s not necessary. Ugh. They just don''t get it! Weddings take a lot of planning, dammit!

 

[patient1]

Once again... I love this forum.

I have done two unique things that I don't see listed yet:

My SO and I share Google Calenders. I've created a calender called 'The Daydream' and it marks potential wedding days in 2009 and 2010 (yes, I share it with him... He thinks it's cute, haha).

I've also created an email account on GMail with my future last name in it (almost two years ago, lol) so that it wouldn't be taken when I got married.

A little digital crazy from a fellow, anxious LIW.

 

[eaglesgal]

One thing I forgot to add....I''ve even emailed my insurance company to inquire about insuring the ring (that I don''t have). I want to have a plan in place as soon as that sparkly baby is on my finger!!! Pathetic, I know!

 

[jkil0313]

HAhA! yea I don''t feel as embarrassed anymore either. I am proud to admit I have a Knot account. Of course my wedding won''t be until 2010 or 2011 (im hoping or 2010, but BF is waiting 2011). And my ring gets shipped next week, but won''t be engaged until he officially asks which could be awhile. Not to mention my mom is a wedding planner so when the topic comes up it is funny watching us discuss it. But the BF is used to it...I am a big planner for EVERYTHING like mother like daughter I guess.

We have a general list of guests already too...and I am the worst at his family functions (Who is that uncle or aunt, etc. but really taking mental notes of who to and not to invite)