I can''t believe I am SO peeved about this-

[codex57]

oh, that sucks. From your posts, it sounded like you and your fiance are paying for most of it. Me and my fiance are paying for most of the wedding ourselves. That''s prolly the only way we get as much say as we do cuz I can keep my mom out of the loop. I think I''ll only have to ask my dad for help on the reception part, but I need their advice anyways since I don''t know much about the cultural stuff.

 

[IrishEyes]

Oh ame, I''m so sorry you are so stressed!!! Let me give you a hint: forget buying stock in tylenol, get your hands on some vicodin! You''ll have no more worries.....

Just kidding, I''m not promoting addiction

 

[ame]

Date: 3/7/2005 1:25:49 PM
Author: codex57
oh, that sucks. From your posts, it sounded like you and your fiance are paying for most of it. Me and my fiance are paying for most of the wedding ourselves. That''s prolly the only way we get as much say as we do cuz I can keep my mom out of the loop. I think I''ll only have to ask my dad for help on the reception part, but I need their advice anyways since I don''t know much about the cultural stuff.

Yea, we planned to pay for it but they were pretty offended by the suggestion of such a thing. They are paying for the whole reception. It''s a total brou-ha-ha

I should borrow some of my dad''s vicodin...

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 3/7/2005 4:54:16 PM
Author: ame

Yea, we planned to pay for it but they were pretty offended by the suggestion of such a thing.

So the alternative is for them to offend you and your FI instead by completely disregarding what you want just because they insist on paying for it?

I''ll say it again. It''s time to assert yourself and put your cards on the table.

"It''s very sweet that you wanted to fund this, and even though I feel a bit funny about it, I was willing to make that concession because I didn''t want to offend you. I know doing this is important to you, and I was trying to be *considerate of your feelings*. BUT......I did not anticipate doing so would mean losing control over choices/aspects that *WE* feel are important to us, and that''s what this is turning into.

THIS isn''t what we want, and we aren''t going to just go along. We envision THIS instead, and that''s what is going to happen. WE are gently but firmly saying *we* are the final decision-makers on these events. We will do our utmost to take your input and feelings about various elements into consideration, but the final say belongs to FI and me. This isn''t negotiable; it''s how it''s going to be.

If you can''t live with our choices and our feelings on this, we will completely understand if you want to withdraw your offer to pay for it. We feel passionately enough about what we want that we are happy to pay for it ourselves....it''s that important to us.

Knowing that, the ball is in your court on whether or not you still wish to fund it. Your call."