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I don''t know what I found...

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sunnyd

sunnyd

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
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So I was ''helping'' BF set up his ''man room'' (aka, the room in the house that is his to do whatever with) while he''s at work, and stumbled across something...

An engagement ring!!!!
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BUT, it''s not what I want and we''ve talked about multiple settings and I finally came to a conclusion about one and the kind of stone...blah blah blah. This ring is exactly the opposite. Pretty, but not ME.

So now what do I do?!?! I don''t know if I found something from, dare I say, an ex? Or something to catch me totally off guard?! I thought we were gonna do the shopping thing together next year. I''m so confused and don''t know whether to be happy or cry!!! HELP!!!
 
Oh wow-I''m not sure what advice to give you-hugs! It kind of reminds me of SATC when Carrie finds that ring in Aidans bag. Is there any way to bring him ring shopping and kind of point out rings you like? Otherwise I would say something to him after he proposes.
 
Well that''s the thing! He knows what I would like...I show it to him every damn day. Hahaha. I know I shouldn''t say anything to him about it, just in case, but it will eat me alive!!!
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Oooh, tough one. I'd probably pretend I didn't see it. I know some people that would just leave it out in plain view, though. I don't know what to counsel on this one. Remember to BREATHE! And remember, it will be OK. HUGS!
 
I bet it's your engagement ring.
What's so wrong about it? Is it not big enough? Wrong shape? Wrong metal?
How happy can you be with it considering this is what He picked out for you?
That's strange that you thought you'd be shopping for one next year and he already has it.
How old is he?
 
Starset, I really don't think it is...all the ones I've showed him have been cushions. Pave everywhere. This is a RB in a 6-prong knife edge solitaire. Not that it's bad, it's just the opposite of what he knows that I like! And he doesn't have the money right now, which was why we were waiting until at least next year to seriously start shopping. I'm so confused!
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The only thing I can think of is it's an EE Robbins ring, and when his sister got engaged 3 years ago with a plain solitaire, her and now DH went back to get something she picked out. Maybe he's doing the same? Oy. Damn me and my need to have stuff put away!!!

Oh he's 24...
 
Any chance someone gave it to him to give to you? A family member? Which could explain a) why it exists before you thought it would and b) why it''s not what you told him you like.

Don''t despair. You can certainly change it for something you like more.

In the meantime, the only thing that would really be freaking me out is if he had bought it for someone else, and never told you about it. If that''s the case, he may be hoping to trade it in for one for you. But I''d be worried / pissed that he never told me about something so important in his past. Not that we have th right to know EVERYTHING about our partners'' pasts. But.

I guess I feel like, if it were me, I''d probably just ask him about it. Unless you weren''t supposed to be in his room in the first place. Then I''d keep quiet.
 
Is there any chance that he could''ve purchased the ring BEFORE you told him what you liked?

OR could it be a family ring? passed down from his mom/grandma?
 
It may be from his sister? I really don''t know...I''m almost positive it wasn''t for an ex...the last relationship he was in ended 2 years ago when the girl (who was a few years his junior) cheated on him. I think they talked marriage, but both were really young, and she was obviously too immature to be in a relationship.

So do I say anything? I''ll be hurt if it was for someone else and he was keeping it for some unknown reason, but he''d be hurt if this was indeed for my proposal and I ''ruined'' it by finding it inadvertantly.
 
Wow. this sucks. I would not bring it up with him though. I guess the only advice I have is to start visualizing yourself with a RB solitaire. Did you try the ring on? Maybe you will discover that you like it after all.
 
Some background I guess...we''ve only been dating 11 months. I''ve been looking for awhile for fun but it turned serious, as in "this is the ring that I want", only a few weeks ago. I know EE Robbins has a trade up, but the ring I want is not from there. This just keeps sounding worse...
 
LOL, of COURSE I tried it on!!! Hahaha...it''s really pretty. Maybe he seriously (seriously) misled me as to his money situation? Our anniversary is next month...arg. But he seemed to have no idea what diamonds/settings cost when we talked last week. If this is real he deserves an Oscar.
 
Could he be keeping it safe for a friend / brother?
 
No brothers...I don''t think a friend.
 
A mystery then! If it were me I would resolve not to bring it up but I also know I''d most likely fail
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I dunno. If I were you, I would just have to know. But then, I''m the sort of gal who blurts out any old thing. Nothing in my mind that FI doesn''t know too!

It sounds like it wasn''t from an ex, so at least that.

Would he really be mad if he knew you knew? I mean, can you just say ''I was helping and I found this. What gives?''

Is he the sort who would plan something?

I bet it''s the sister''s. The question is, is it now yours?

An RB solitaire ain''t so bad! You can re-set it hundreds of ways. And cushions are great, but they + pave are so trendy right now that it might be better to have something really classic anyway...juuuuust in case the cushion + lots of pave look becomes the marquise of the mid ''00s if you know what I mean.

Still, I love a cushion! So I totally get it.
 
Wow, that''s a tough one! All I can think of is that he purchased it before you really told him what you wanted? What is the trade up policy at Robbins Bros? I know some places you only need to spend a dollar more and others its nearly double the value...tough one!! I would be coming out of my skin too!!
 
I''m gonna ask him when he gets home. It''ll drive me nuts, and he''ll know immediately that something''s wrong. Thanks for all the help ladies...wish me luck, maybe a I''ll get a ring tonight...hahaha right.
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Date: 1/15/2008 6:34:31 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I dunno. If I were you, I would just have to know. But then, I''m the sort of gal who blurts out any old thing. Nothing in my mind that FI doesn''t know too!
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I''m just laughing cos I''m the same. I can''t hold anything in. I don''t know how I would bring this one up with him though unless you''re just honest and say that when you were helping him you found it and see what his reaction is?
 
Sunnyd - Could he have purchased this for you a long time ago, before you all started discussing it in depth?
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It''s all stuff in moving boxes, and since he never has time to unpack, I thought I would clear some boxes when dun dun dunnnn. I''m just gonna tell him that, I guess.
 
Yeah, I wouldn''t be able to hold back on this one either. It would eat me up alive not knowing and he too, would know something was up. I probably would say, "I was cleaning and I found this". It probably is his sisters. Either way, who knows, it could be yours.
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Well it wasn''t mine. It was for an another ex (who also cheated...), though it wasn''t real. CZ and silver!
 
wow. interesting, though not what anyone would have fully predicted.
thanks for updating us on the situation.
 
thanks for letting us know. Hope you''re ok if it was a shock. At least you know you''ll get your lovely cushion!
 
Sorry, had to abandon ship really quick! It wasn''t for engagement purposes, just a promise ring he bought when he was 18. It was in an EE Robb box because he liked it.
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That may have been from the sister! Hahaha...anyhoo, he has assured me that my ring will be ahem, REAL!!! and big and sparkly.
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Crazy debacle for a Tuesday though...
 
oh good! that clears up a ton of things
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whew.
 
Date: 1/15/2008 8:50:16 PM
Author: sunnyd
Sorry, had to abandon ship really quick! It wasn''t for engagement purposes, just a promise ring he bought when he was 18. It was in an EE Robb box because he liked it.
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That may have been from the sister! Hahaha...anyhoo, he has assured me that my ring will be ahem, REAL!!! and big and sparkly.
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Crazy debacle for a Tuesday though...
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Sunnyd -- Good on you for taking the bull by the horns and confronting the situation head on and figuring out what was going on instead of sitting and stewing on it.

I''m glad everything worked out ...

As a side note, I really like the teal EE Robbins ring box as well ... When we decided not to get our diamond & setting there, that is what I was disappointed about ... not getting my ring in that beautiful box. So silly.
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Glad everything is ok!
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I wonder why he has kept a cheap ring...I mean, obviously he just moved and brought it with him into his new home, and it''s been 6 years since he bought it/broke up with her....
 
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