I don''t want to hrut anyone, but.....

[neatfreak]

I say do what you want. BUT that being said, foreign travel does require a bit of finesse for many people so if you are choosing a destination wedding outside of the country you just need to be ok with the fact that some people may not choose to/be able to come. If the destination trumps not having some people there-then go for it.

And make sure everyone knows that they need passports!!!

 

[Pushin40]

Date: 1/4/2010 5:45:33 PM
Author: princesss
So, have you picked a photographer yet? I dream about a beach wedding in Mexico (but it can''t happen for me), and I''m totally in love with Elizabeth Medina. She took CDNinNYC''s pictures and I think they''re incredible.


(Also, be prepared for me to stalk your planning threads!)

WOO HOO! Yeah stalk me! I love it!!!!

I think we''ll just go with the photographer the resort offers.....trying to do this somewhat on a budget and keep it simple!

 

[Pushin40]

Date: 1/4/2010 6:24:07 PM
Author: grace10209

Date: 1/4/2010 5:35:34 PM
Author: Pushin40

Date: 1/4/2010 5:30:37 PM
Author: grace10209
ok so a few questions for you
1) has she flat out said there is NO WAY she will attend if its in another country?
2) what do you want more, having your wedding on the beach in the location you want? OR having her there?
if she refuses to go, which can you live without? her or the dream place?

1.) She never said flat out NO...
2.) From the beginning, I never expected her to come.... and would be totally OK with that. But it would be nice to bond with her.

OK, so here is my 2 cents.
if she never said flat out NO - then i would have it where you want it and tell her the details and that you really want her there
THEN - if she doesn''t come, you are ''ok'' as you didn''t expect her to come..... and you said you would be ok with it.
If you are ''ok'' with her not being there, then have it where you want it........................and maybe she''ll surprise you and come. i would be surprised if she didn''t.

You know - you could be right
After I make the arrangements I''ll have to call her and tell her what''s up. I''ll see if I can find out the udnerlying reason too. I''m going to have to plan the conversation so I don''t get defensive and emotional (I do this....) and if I talk to her the right way, no matter weather she comes or not, it will be OK.

My FI is the "sister wisperer" so he will coach me before I pick uo the phone!!!

 

[Pushin40]

Date: 1/4/2010 6:56:42 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
Ditto to what most everyone else has said already! It is YOUR wedding...do what you and your man want to do. I''m getting married in Mexico, and I knew there was going to be some heming and hawing about it, but NOT MY PROBLEM. You really just have to be okay with folks not making it...I am.

My sister can also be a pain in the arse...she had the nerve to tell me that she has 4 weddings that she is in this year so she said I can''t have too many expectations of her. I gently had to remind her that one of these is the wedding of her ONLY sister!!!!!! HELLLLLOOOOOO!!!!!

So...on to planning your Mexican wedding!!! Where are you thinking of having it???

Rock of Love, where in MX... and when is your wedding? Did you do a package thing at a resrot? Mariachi band, too???

I''m looking at PLaya Del Carmen (Love that place) , the day after Thanskgiving, at an AI resort (again - keeping it easy. More like come and have a vacation with us!)
On the baech.
4PM
My dream come true!

I emailed the resort last ngiht!!!!! I''m eager to get the venue and date confirmed. It feels like such a big decision I feel like I need to keep looking for the :right palce"....but I''ve looked so much already! I think this is it.......RIU Palace Rivera Maya.

 

[Pushin40]

And finally - thank you everyone for your support. I am moing forward with the MX plan.

I have weird guilt feelings around my sister, in general, and you''d have to know our entire life story to understand the intricate relationship we have. There has been a lot of drama, tragety, death, and unhealthy relationships in our lives and we are the result of our environment.

We don''t live near eachother (8 hrs drive away), we never talk, etc. She has problems but is totally functioanal and an overachiever - she''s on medication, but she does get pretty wound up sometimes. I do love her and I know she can''t help how she is, but we really aren''t friends and it bothers both of us. Its really complicated and we''ve both had a lot of therapy. It is what it is at this point - we''re in our 40''s and have totally seperate lives.

Deep down I do care and I do want her to be there. A part of me expects her to deal with whatever her issues are, and be there for me. But I need to have my guard up so when she says no, it won''t devestate me.

OK that was like a purging of my inner soul! Thanks for listening!

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/4/2010 10:21:38 PM
Author: Amanda.Rx
You said that she battles with depression and anxiety? Does she have flight anxiety? My sister battles with this, and has flat out panic attacks (and if you've never had one- you honestly feel that you are going to die). Her palms get sweaty if she even DRIVES near an airport. Do you think that maybe that's the reason she refuses to fly to an island? I know you said she would have to fly to Vegas too (but maybe she thinks she can drive it and this provides her some comfort).

It's just one explanation why she may be behaving so strangely. Maybe you should talk to her and find out WHY she won't fly to another country. There HAS to be an underlying reason, and I think she needs help.

But with regards to your situation, it depends on what you want. I would 100% choose for my only sister to be at my wedding and if she refuses to get on a plane, I don't think I could force her to choose to skip my wedding or have a panic attack (both ways). However, I don't know whether your sister is truly ill, or if she's just being crazy. Only you can tell. However, I would talk to her out of concern.

Thank your for posting this, Amanda. This is what I was thinking. If your sister has an anxiety disorder and a fear of flying you can't just expect her to get on a plane. It doesn't work this way. Having a panic attack can be debilitating and is a frightening experience. Please speak with your sister and find out what is going on. It's your choice whether to change your plans or not. It sounds as if you are determined to be married in Mexico. Perhaps you can express some empathy toward your sister and attempt to try to understand her situation. I'm very close to my sister. I would find a lovely beach, which would be close enough for her to attend the wedding, and honeymoon in Mexico. You have said that you are not close to your sister. Do you know why coming to your wedding is so important to her?

~your friendly, neighborhood shrink