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I just wanna say -- the random comments thread
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Enerchi
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Worst phone call EVER with my son. I am heartbroken and angry all rolled into one. I am so sad right now. So sad. This is not the first time new GF has pulled crap like this on him/us. He won't/can't see it. I feel like I'm losing him... I can't stop crying. I want to shake him and get him to see her for what she is. Mother's worrying about their kids, never stops.
Enerchi
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Did not sleep a wink last night. My face looks like I lost to Mike Tyson. My heart raced all night, tossed and turned. If I say anything further, it just pushes him more towards her. This is like watching a trainwreck happen.... ARGH! I have to be calm and get thru one day at a time. How did he let this happen to him??? Where is his brain??? (In his pants at the moment...)
chemgirl
Ideal_Rock
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zoebartlett
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Dougsgirl
Shiny_Rock
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Enerchi...
I'm giving you a virtual hug!! I am so sorry!!
I have a 20 year old son who has broken my heart in multiple ways since he was about 15, and dealing with him almost cost me my marriage. There is absolutely NOTHING worse than the pain our children can cause us. I know about those sleepless nights...
Hang in there sister!!
I don't know about your situation, but I learned a couple of things for myself...
1. It was unhealthy for him to live here, so we had him move out. (SO hard!)
2. I absolutely can NOT tell him "what I think he should do" in any situation!! Me telling him "what to do" seems to push him in exactly the opposite direction.
3. I need to love him without enabling him. But try to understand what that looks like in the practical world, which is usually hard to know.
4. I need to let him experience the consequences for his choices, they are HIS, not mine!
5. I need to continue to hope, believe and pray for his future!
6. I need to maintain a relationship with him, in some form, even when he is making choices I don't approve of. But I do not need to FUND his choices, or have him in my home.
7. I need to tell him I love him, I miss him, and that I'm proud of him when he's making the right choices.
I sincerely hope your situation improves soon!!
Just know you are not alone!!
I'm giving you a virtual hug!! I am so sorry!!
I have a 20 year old son who has broken my heart in multiple ways since he was about 15, and dealing with him almost cost me my marriage. There is absolutely NOTHING worse than the pain our children can cause us. I know about those sleepless nights...
Hang in there sister!!
I don't know about your situation, but I learned a couple of things for myself...
1. It was unhealthy for him to live here, so we had him move out. (SO hard!)
2. I absolutely can NOT tell him "what I think he should do" in any situation!! Me telling him "what to do" seems to push him in exactly the opposite direction.
3. I need to love him without enabling him. But try to understand what that looks like in the practical world, which is usually hard to know.
4. I need to let him experience the consequences for his choices, they are HIS, not mine!
5. I need to continue to hope, believe and pray for his future!
6. I need to maintain a relationship with him, in some form, even when he is making choices I don't approve of. But I do not need to FUND his choices, or have him in my home.
7. I need to tell him I love him, I miss him, and that I'm proud of him when he's making the right choices.
I sincerely hope your situation improves soon!!
Just know you are not alone!!
Enerchi
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Thank you so much Chemgirl, Zoe and Dougsgirl {{{HUGS}}} to you all!
Dougsgirl - your situation sounds very similar to what we went thru a few years ago with #2DS. He's a totally different person now - as am I - and we survived those VERY rough years.
This is #1DS. He's in an abusive/controlling relationship with a g/f of less than 6 months. Monday, he's offered a wonderful opportunity 5.5 months from now. He was practically skipping in circles, he was so excited. By Tuesday's call, no - no interest anymore, not fair to g/f, he has to be here to help her with dogs/payments/apartment/meals...then we learned more details. He has lost contact with all friends, he's had to de-friend and sever ties with a few people (mainly females from YEARS of friendships) and other stuff. DH asks to speak w g/f. She is sitting beside him in the car (one of HER friends driving) but no, she doesn't want to talk. They arrive at the store and she suddenly goes off to the washroom, then she's 'lost' somewhere in the store - hey! you're on a cell... walk the aisles and find her!!! No - she doesn't want to talk. (i'm sure she was there the whole time, but whatevah..)
Um, is she 5 years old running and hiding? This is mature behaviour?! Telling him he can't partake in this offer, is kind and loving to someone you care about?
#1 can not see this - he's in lust. I know, "time takes time", and he will eventually see her for what she is, but watching him become a shell of what he was... is so painful. DD, #2DS, DH, an intervention with friends... have all tried to point this out to him. Nope. He's in love.
Its just so hard to watch. He has to come to the realization on his own. I know it, but its killing me in the mean time.
Dougsgirl - your situation sounds very similar to what we went thru a few years ago with #2DS. He's a totally different person now - as am I - and we survived those VERY rough years.
This is #1DS. He's in an abusive/controlling relationship with a g/f of less than 6 months. Monday, he's offered a wonderful opportunity 5.5 months from now. He was practically skipping in circles, he was so excited. By Tuesday's call, no - no interest anymore, not fair to g/f, he has to be here to help her with dogs/payments/apartment/meals...then we learned more details. He has lost contact with all friends, he's had to de-friend and sever ties with a few people (mainly females from YEARS of friendships) and other stuff. DH asks to speak w g/f. She is sitting beside him in the car (one of HER friends driving) but no, she doesn't want to talk. They arrive at the store and she suddenly goes off to the washroom, then she's 'lost' somewhere in the store - hey! you're on a cell... walk the aisles and find her!!! No - she doesn't want to talk. (i'm sure she was there the whole time, but whatevah..)
Um, is she 5 years old running and hiding? This is mature behaviour?! Telling him he can't partake in this offer, is kind and loving to someone you care about?
#1 can not see this - he's in lust. I know, "time takes time", and he will eventually see her for what she is, but watching him become a shell of what he was... is so painful. DD, #2DS, DH, an intervention with friends... have all tried to point this out to him. Nope. He's in love.
Its just so hard to watch. He has to come to the realization on his own. I know it, but its killing me in the mean time.
Dougsgirl
Shiny_Rock
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Oh Boy... That's a rough one!!!
First... thank you so much for the encouragement about your #2 DS. I am still believing that this will be better someday, and it actually seems to be improving... (It looks like he is finally going to get his high school diploma on June 14th, which is 2 years late, and the day before his little sister graduates with honors. Which is good for him for finally finishing, but awkward. How do I celebrate his accomplishment, on the heels of throwing HER a Grad party and taking a family trip to Mexico... without him?? So hard!!)
Anyway...
Wow... your son has it bad. That sucks!!
But you are right that he WILL have to see it for himself. And I believe that he will. And if he throws away some friends and some opportunities along the way... well, that is unfortunate, but really... haven't we all done that in the process of learning hard lessons??
I look back at my own life, and the hardest times were, of course, the times that I learned and grew the most. And I wouldn't change them now. But as a mother... we always want to protect our children from the very "hard times" that made us who we are today.
And I KNOW it is agonizing!! We want SO MUCH MORE for them... and why can't they just SEE what they are doing to themselves???
AARRRGGGHHH!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I truly hope he sees the light SOON!! Sounds like she is selfish and terrible!!
Hang in there!!
First... thank you so much for the encouragement about your #2 DS. I am still believing that this will be better someday, and it actually seems to be improving... (It looks like he is finally going to get his high school diploma on June 14th, which is 2 years late, and the day before his little sister graduates with honors. Which is good for him for finally finishing, but awkward. How do I celebrate his accomplishment, on the heels of throwing HER a Grad party and taking a family trip to Mexico... without him?? So hard!!)
Anyway...
Wow... your son has it bad. That sucks!!
But you are right that he WILL have to see it for himself. And I believe that he will. And if he throws away some friends and some opportunities along the way... well, that is unfortunate, but really... haven't we all done that in the process of learning hard lessons??
I look back at my own life, and the hardest times were, of course, the times that I learned and grew the most. And I wouldn't change them now. But as a mother... we always want to protect our children from the very "hard times" that made us who we are today.
And I KNOW it is agonizing!! We want SO MUCH MORE for them... and why can't they just SEE what they are doing to themselves???
AARRRGGGHHH!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I truly hope he sees the light SOON!! Sounds like she is selfish and terrible!!
Hang in there!!
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princesss
Ideal_Rock
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I bought a skirt off of Shabby Apple a while back and it took ages to get to me. I didn't love it, and I posted a review on their website. Not even kidding, within 5 minutes I had an e-mail asking what they could do better, apologizing for me being unhappy with the skirt, and giving me a few options that they thought could help make it up to me (including a small gift card). I'm seriously impressed. I love their clothes, and this is honestly the best customer service I've ever gotten.
chemgirl
Ideal_Rock
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Gah, we love love love a house and have been trying to negotiate an offer.
Our final offer was 10k more than any house has sold for in the neighbourhood in the last year.
Offer was still rejected and the counter offer was 20k more.
Meanwhile this house is average sized and not nearly as updated as some of the others that have sold.
Its the original owner and one of her arguments for the price is that she had the builder put in upgraded carpets. I wish I could actually speak with her because I really want to let her know that her upgraded, 20 year old, filthy, stained carpets were the first thing to go if we bought the house. If anything they lower the value. They are the one thing we hate about the house.
Oh yeah, and her price is based on comps from 2008. Like 2008 is an accurate pricing model when we're in 2012. Has this lady been under a rock for the past 6 years? How could she not know about the housing bubble?!
Angry vent over!
Our final offer was 10k more than any house has sold for in the neighbourhood in the last year.
Offer was still rejected and the counter offer was 20k more.
Meanwhile this house is average sized and not nearly as updated as some of the others that have sold.
Its the original owner and one of her arguments for the price is that she had the builder put in upgraded carpets. I wish I could actually speak with her because I really want to let her know that her upgraded, 20 year old, filthy, stained carpets were the first thing to go if we bought the house. If anything they lower the value. They are the one thing we hate about the house.
Oh yeah, and her price is based on comps from 2008. Like 2008 is an accurate pricing model when we're in 2012. Has this lady been under a rock for the past 6 years? How could she not know about the housing bubble?!
Angry vent over!
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Elmorton
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Haven't posted on PS in forever...but coming out of lurkdom with the random comment that I'm so eager/nervous/excited - jeweler gave me a promise date of Thursday for the ring we've been working on since - I checked my records last night - March 2011. This is going to be a long week for a host of real reasons, but waiting for the ring is just making it longer!
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April20
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hoover
Shiny_Rock
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davi_el_mejor
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Enerchi
Super_Ideal_Rock
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people of Wisconsin is tire of seeing big government spending.
http://www.star-telegram.com/2012/06/05/4010820/gop-governor-survives-recall-vote.html
http://www.star-telegram.com/2012/06/05/4010820/gop-governor-survives-recall-vote.html
armywife13
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Dancing Fire|1338962481|3210186 said:
I was very happy to see this. I have been traveling around the US with my hub in the Army, but I was born and raised in WI As for my random comment....I am so sick of my insomnia. It is helpful when I have a lot of assignments for my classes, but it stinks when I have nothing to do!!!!
armywife13
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Dancing Fire|1338962481|3210186 said:
I was very happy to see this. I have been traveling around the US with my hub in the Army, but I was born and raised in WI As for my random comment....I am so sick of my insomnia. It is helpful when I have a lot of assignments for my classes, but it stinks when I have nothing to do!!!!
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Elmorton
Ideal_Rock
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Matata, I saw that last week! I agree, it was excellent.
My random: Had a crazy day at work and felt so productive and good about all the work I was doing; however, since I was busy I failed to see the e-mail and missed call on my phone from my jeweler, wanting to me to approve a slight design change for my ring.
Since I missed the call and e-mail, I didn't get in until the end of the day to make the approval (did get to see the ring in progress, though, which was kinda fun). Everyone on the bench has vacay tomorrow, so I won't have my beautiful ring on my finger until Monday. Bummed since I've been looking forward to this all week.
My random: Had a crazy day at work and felt so productive and good about all the work I was doing; however, since I was busy I failed to see the e-mail and missed call on my phone from my jeweler, wanting to me to approve a slight design change for my ring.
Since I missed the call and e-mail, I didn't get in until the end of the day to make the approval (did get to see the ring in progress, though, which was kinda fun). Everyone on the bench has vacay tomorrow, so I won't have my beautiful ring on my finger until Monday. Bummed since I've been looking forward to this all week.
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Hyoooooge, hyoooooge trauma today. I had to buy jeans. When did it get so complicated? High rise, low rise, mid rise, skinny, boot cut, straight leg. And why do I now have to know what my inseam is? And why do they not have pear shape wide leg big booty small waist jeans, why??????? slinking off to sulk some more.
Imdanny
Ideal_Rock
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decodelighted
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Good day. We found out my Mom's Breast Cancer hasn't spread beyond the one lump she detected herself & that she might be eligible for a clinical trial of a "promising" new chemo drug. -- AND -- my poor itchy pooch seems to finally be responding to the Prednisone she got at the emergency vet in the middle of the night on Thursday! Two *really* sleepless nights (plus about a month of semi-sleepless nights) have me hoping for a deep sleep tonight!
zoebartlett
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Skippy123
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Deco, I am glad your pup is getting some relief. I am keeping your mom in my prayers!!! I hope you had a good nights sleep!!
((((HUGS))))))
My hubby comes home today; he was gone for a week and mentioned he slept in everyday. The good news is he comes home today so he said he will let me sleep in tomorrow. I tip my hat to all single moms and moms whose hubby's travel for work while they take care of the kiddos. Being alone w/the babies is tough work but I started getting use to it toward the end but still miss my husband of course! It will be cute to see the boys go bananas to see their daddy; when he would call I put him on speaker phone and they would dance around to the sound of his voice.
((((HUGS))))))
My hubby comes home today; he was gone for a week and mentioned he slept in everyday. The good news is he comes home today so he said he will let me sleep in tomorrow. I tip my hat to all single moms and moms whose hubby's travel for work while they take care of the kiddos. Being alone w/the babies is tough work but I started getting use to it toward the end but still miss my husband of course! It will be cute to see the boys go bananas to see their daddy; when he would call I put him on speaker phone and they would dance around to the sound of his voice.
zoebartlett
Super_Ideal_Rock
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