I just wanna say -- the random comments thread

[junebug17]

Enerchi, Congratulations to your daughter, that is wonderful news! I can see why you are bursting with pride, I'm so happy for all of you!

TooPatient, it's fantastic A is doing so well, she has come such a long way - I'm thrilled for her! And I think you and dh deserve a lot of credit too,I think you have helped her so much in these past few years with your attention and support

Queenie, your blooms are gorgeous!!!

 

[missy]

VRBeauty, of course you know I agree. A purring or snoring kitty on your lap. That doesn't suck.

Congrats to your DD Enerchi. Glad PS dust helped.

Gorgeous flowers Queenie.

 

[packrat]

JD's mother passed away late Saturday afternoon. I stayed home from work today to be his sounding board when he's making phone calls etc. I have little patience these days, for people. So maybe I wasn't the best person to do that job today! His aunt and uncle woke him up this morning by calling to harp on him that the day he set up for the funeral is a Holy Day. Uh---guess what sugar plum? Yer not helpin, yer not footing the bill, yer not the one who has to take out a friggin loan to pay for this stuff so we can go further into debt so you can take your fanny to the back of the room and siddown and shut yer pie hole.

sorry, that was somewhat religious in nature and I'm sorry but I had to get that steam out before I called his relatives back and told them where the bear shits.

ETA: I told JD every time he looks at me at the visitation and funeral to think of when Raj was a jerk and they told Sheldon to just shut up and smile https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WtD23tWJAM

That comment resulted in him doubled over a chair, laughing. So, we're still good for levity at least.

 

[purplesparklies]

packrat, I am sorry for your loss. Dealing with all the arrangements is stressful enough without meddling family putting their $.02 in. We went through this process just a few months ago when my husband's father passed away and continue to deal with estate issues as my mother-in-law passed away over 9 years ago. Your husband is lucky to have you as support and a reminder that laughter is the best medicine. Many times over the past months we have said that you just have to laugh sometimes or you'll cry. Again.

Strength and peace to you, JD and all the family.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[tyty333]

Sorry to hear about your loss Packrat...hopefully after the funeral you and your DH can find some peace.

 

[PintoBean]

So sorry for your loss, pack rat! It sounds like you and JD make a dynamic duo, which is so important during times likes these! Lots and lots of hugs!

 

[TooPatient]

Packrat -- So sorry for your loss. I hope his family has backed off and is not adding to the stress and emotions right now.

 

[TooPatient]

Thank you all for the kind words about "A" and our role in her accomplishments. I've been around but super busy. Mostly able to post a bit here or there as I wait for the freight elevator at work and limited to short enough I can finish before it comes (or my phone refreshes and I lose the whole post )

Super busy, excited, stressful, hopeful, anxious, crazy times right now.

Suzie Q was doing great with 2 of our other cats and our dog. Had no problem with the 3rd cat... until he decided to start jumping on her every time he saw her. So we're back to almost square one. Introducing her slowly to the house without the others until she gets comfortable again. (progress today is she will sit on our bed staring out the open bedroom door rather than hiding under it). She is okay with the other two cats coming in our bedroom with her. Just nervous in the rest of the house watching for any sign of the other guy. As soon as I set her down, she runs back to our room. We'll get there. It is just taking time. Tomorrow is one month. We've had longer transitions so not giving up on her! (she has lots of space in our bedroom & bathroom with kitty box, scratching post, food, water, toys, big window to look out, and lots of time snuggling with us).
She is eating well (loves fish. Doesn't care for chicken, turkey, or beef.) and looking healthier than when she came home.

DH has his big interview Thursday. He has an essay to write for them due on Wednesday plus a one hour presentation to prepare to give to his panel of interviewers. (I am on editing duty plus helping him rehearse and fine tune presentation)

"A" started her first job yesterday (will be only 5 hours every Sunday from now on) as an assistant at a little art studio. She is enjoying so far. She loves art and is excited that they are considering having her teach a class over summer.

The mortgage company lost our payment. Only it may be in the accounting department or still at the branch that was supposed to send it. I'm waiting for a call to see if they found it or if I need to cancel and get a fresh check to them.


So.... Yeah. Crazy!
So many good possibilities. Just have to take it one step at a time and get it all done.

 

[PintoBean]

Not a happy camper... All weekend long DH worked himself up into a tizzy about going to work on Monday. Megan's gonna be asking me for updates he kept complaining... Monday he woke up feeling yucky probably from allergies... Tired and stuffy nose, so i said stay home... You have many PTO days left for the year. He went in today. He admits now it was a bit anticlimactic. Anyways, he came home after work and told me he threw up in his mouth during drive home. He then went to my parents to let the dogs out and feed them plus kitty. He swung by Taco Bell to pick up crap for me for dinner. He got home, got out of car, and proceeded to hurl on the lawn. I asked him if he had burning in his throat earlier to rule out heart burn and indigestion. No. I had him sit down for a bit in the kitchen, then he came up to take a shower and looked better.

I truly think it's anxiety. Last time he worked himself up he passed out in the supermarket and woke up being transported to ER - 2015. He's gotten better with bitching about work - pre passing out it was 2-3 hrs a night of how much he hated the company. I kept telling him this weekend that if he hates it so much he has to do something. Look for a job. He is on 10 mg Lexapro and he said it took the edge off the stress, but idk...it's over a month in now. He did skip a day or two here and there. Worried and frustrated... I can't fix this.

 

[TooPatient]

Pinto, that sounds awful. Sending you hugs. I hope your husband either learns to manage his anxiety or finds a new position of it is something specific to where he is. Life is too short to make yourself sick with stress.

 

[packrat]

Thanks everyone. I feel bad that we didn't have a good relationship and she had no relationship w/the kids--her choice--so it's like...it doesn't really change anything in our lives. There's no empty feeling, nothing is any different. I feel bad for JD and how stressed he was initially, but that is getting better now.

On a positive note, Trapper and I tested for TKD on Saturday and we both promoted Monday at class, so I am now a Low Blue belt and he is Third Permanent Brown. London is in the musical Mary Poppins this summer w/the community theater so she's missed so much TKD class she didn't test this time. Hopefully in June she can b/c then she'll be First Permanent Brown and then after that will be her Temporary Black. I learned my new form last night and I love it, it's super fun.

 

[packrat]

PB, maybe your husband needs a stronger dose? Or a different med entirely? Has he thought about trying something to "work" off the anxiety? Like yoga or taekwondo? Not just b/c I enjoy practicing them, but they both keep your brain busy and tire you, and yoga works so well on helping decompress your mind and body. They both make me feel good inside. It's a thought anyway? There are other things too...Tai Chi, Pilates..anything really.

 

[missy]

Packrat, I am sorry about your and JD's loss also sorry his mother didn't have a relationship with your family.

Pinto, sending your dh good thoughts and I hope he finds something he loves doing and can walk away from his current job. Health concerns trump everything IMO and I hope he finds a better opportunity for his and your sanity and well being. (((Hugs))).

TP, good luck to your dh for his interview this Thursday. Fingers crossed.

 

[PintoBean]

Thank you TP, Packrat and Missy!!

We had a conversation last night, not too long after I posted. Our last follow up with the GP, his liver enzymes (previously high), reduced significantly (half) when he went from vodka shots at night to wine and beer. The GP wanted to see more improvement in his liver enzymes and pushed for him to downshift, quantity wise. DH is currently on blood pressure meds + the lexapro. Monday night, he had shots of vodka . I explained to him, while the meds are great, the ultimate goal is to get you off meds because they also tax your liver. The vodka doesn't help. Maybe you threw up because your body couldn't handle pills + vodka. Maybe you got sick because of stress, which also will throw your body off. Maybe it's a combo. As the doctor said, the vodka was you self medicating the stress, and the goal was to figure out the meds to reduce the anxiety, then shift you off the meds in the long run. I asked DH:
A) we have plenty of beer and wine, why do you reach for the vodka? DH: beer and wine make me feel full. PB: That's the point - you can only drink so much of that before your tummy signals your brain that you've had enough. The vodka - it's so much higher in alcohol content, and those shots you can throw back without feeling full. That's why I've been advocating for you to downshift to beer and wine.

B) for someone who should be shifting away from vodka, WHY do you have an ECONOMY sized bottle of vodka? Isn't that what people buy for a party? What would you think if I came home with one of those "box-o'-wines" instead of a bottle of wine? DH: Yeah, I'd ask you what's going on? Yeah...that would be weird...

I also asked him to explain to me what he is feeling and thinking because I'm not him, but as someone who is his partner and lives with him, I'm trying to understand what he is going through, and that answers like "I don't know" are not ok with me - that did get him to open up.

As for destressing - he does like yoga. He should look into picking it up again. Maybe we should also have him doing reflexology 2x a month instead of 1x a month. He goes out of the half hour sessions looking relaxed and blissed. Ultimately, job-wise, I left the same company when they put in a terror as my boss. The pros for him sticking around are that he gets good raises, he's been in the department long enough now to know the loopholes and coast. The cons are that management blows, they keep trying to move him into a different group to do more stuff he likes - e.g., programming, but keep piling stuff on him to do that keeps him from having the opportunity to transition to the new group. He gave up on going to the daily stand-up meetings because he felt like a fool standing up and saying he's been working on stuff NOT related to the group. I said, hey, that's not your fault. Nothing wrong with starting your work days with a nonsense meeting that you have nothing to contribute to - it shortens your day by half an hour - jokes on the employer! He did laugh a little at that.

 

[CareBear]

PB, *HUGS* Has your DH always dealt with anxiety or is this recent due to his job? Is it an option for him to take a leave of absence from work until he's feeling better?

 

[PintoBean]

PB, *HUGS* Has your DH always dealt with anxiety or is this recent due to his job? Is it an option for him to take a leave of absence from work until he's feeling better?

{{{Hugs}}} right back atcha, CareBear!
I've been reflecting a lot, and I think that when we BOTH worked at the company, my situation went from crazy busy (late nights - last employee out of the building, and weekends), to crazy busy with a nut job boss. DH's position looked good in comparison. Then, I got a job fall 2013-summer of 2015 working from home, and DH was now alone at the company. There was also a bit of envy because now I didn't have to drive to/from work, and i got to stay at home with the kitties and not have to deal with the dress code and the shenanigans of on-site colleagues.

Lots of stuff going on 2015 - buying/selling homes, DH faceplanting in the supermarket when he passed out, finding out that DH WAS NOT TAKING his BP meds for almost a year!!! DH needing 4 new front teeth ...

Then the day after we closed the sale of the apartment I lost my job and got 1 week of severence for almost 2 years of work . The timing was perfect because we had a nice chunk of change from the sale of the apartment that was now liquid. I was very fortunate because I've always networked my little (ok, big juicy watermelon) butt off, and within 2 months had a job lined up. Not only was it also a remote position from home, but now that I was a contractor as opposed to a full time employee, i could command a bigger paycheck. DH has always made $10-$20K more than my base salary, so I went from always earning less than DH to earning 50% more than his salary. I think this affected him, especially since this job is very light and easy, pays more, and I get to work from home... it just made his situation look even worse in comparison.

I've tried to propose some options to him. Ask the company for a 6 month leave so that you can go do something creative, solo. Ask the company to downshift in hours - 4 day work week so you have 1 day a week to do your passion project. IDK... I think the Lexapro is helping, but I think that he may truly need more than 10 mgs. We have a follow up in a couple of months.

Sorry for the dissertation, but i feel more comfortable just venting anonymously. I can't really talk about this stuff in my "real life".

 

[momhappy]

I will find out Monday if my sweet dog has a bladder infection or bladder cancer

 

[december-fire]

PintoBean,

Wow, that's terrible. I'm sorry your DH is dealing with health issues and a stressful work environment. I could be wrong, but it seems as though your DH may not understand the seriousness of his health issues; failing to take his BP medication for a year, and drinking vodka when he's been advised not to and he has high liver enzymes, aren't logical choices. I suspect he's a young man and at a stage during which good health is common and taken for granted. Hopefully, he'll see that his medical condition does not reflect good health. If he doesn't get things under control now, what will his health be like down the road. That being said, I'm very happy to hear that the liver enzyme level has dropped.

I understand how easy it can be to ignore one's health given the stressful, busy pace of life (I'm guilty of that one), but I hope you can get him to understand that this must be addressed; communication, options and taking action. The status quo isn't acceptable.

Hugs

 

[december-fire]

I will find out Monday if my sweet dog has a bladder infection or bladder cancer

Momhappy,

Oh dear, that's scary. I'm sorry your sweet dog isn't well. Monday must seem like ages from now.

Sending positive and comforting thoughts that the results show a treatable bladder infection.

Hugs

 

[PintoBean]

PintoBean,

Wow, that's terrible. I'm sorry your DH is dealing with health issues and a stressful work environment. I could be wrong, but it seems as though your DH may not understand the seriousness of his health issues; failing to take his BP medication for a year, and drinking vodka when he's been advised not to and he has high liver enzymes, aren't logical choices. I suspect he's a young man and at a stage during which good health is common and taken for granted. Hopefully, he'll see that his medical condition does not reflect good health. If he doesn't get things under control now, what will his health be like down the road. That being said, I'm very happy to hear that the liver enzyme level has dropped.

I understand how easy it can be to ignore one's health given the stressful, busy pace of life (I'm guilty of that one), but I hope you can get him to understand that this must be addressed; communication, options and taking action. The status quo isn't acceptable.

Hugs

I think you summed it up quite nicely, december-fire! (haha I almost called you "DF" but that could be seen as an insult, right? just kidding Dancing Fire if you see this...)
Status quo isn't acceptable...! To give him a taste of his own medicine, a couple nights ago, I announced that I just didn't feel like taking my cholesterol medicine and my 5mg of lexapro... cuz I just didn't feel like it. He was alarmed, and kindly said, where are they, let me get them for you and a glass of water. Since his "episode" the weekend through Monday, he's been very calm and going with the flow with regard to work. Let's see...

 

[december-fire]

PintoBean,

Wow, that's terrible. I'm sorry your DH is dealing with health issues and a stressful work environment. I could be wrong, but it seems as though your DH may not understand the seriousness of his health issues; failing to take his BP medication for a year, and drinking vodka when he's been advised not to and he has high liver enzymes, aren't logical choices. I suspect he's a young man and at a stage during which good health is common and taken for granted. Hopefully, he'll see that his medical condition does not reflect good health. If he doesn't get things under control now, what will his health be like down the road. That being said, I'm very happy to hear that the liver enzyme level has dropped.

I understand how easy it can be to ignore one's health given the stressful, busy pace of life (I'm guilty of that one), but I hope you can get him to understand that this must be addressed; communication, options and taking action. The status quo isn't acceptable.

Hugs

I think you summed it up quite nicely, december-fire! (haha I almost called you "DF" but that could be seen as an insult, right? just kidding Dancing Fire if you see this...)
Status quo isn't acceptable...! To give him a taste of his own medicine, a couple nights ago, I announced that I just didn't feel like taking my cholesterol medicine and my 5mg of lexapro... cuz I just didn't feel like it. He was alarmed, and kindly said, where are they, let me get them for you and a glass of water. Since his "episode" the weekend through Monday, he's been very calm and going with the flow with regard to work. Let's see...

Being confused with Dancing Fire would not be an insult! However, he and I are unlikely to be mixed up; I wish I had his knowledge of watches and diamonds! Actually, I wish I had his Octavia or his wife's beautiful diamonds!

I'm glad my post didn't come across in a negative manner. I was concerned my post might sound harsh, although its just that I am very concerned when I hear about someone ignoring their health. Unless, of course, he has lots of life insurance and he's your practice husband. Kidding!!!

You know how to get through to him, which is so important! When you mentioned earlier about asking how he'd feel if you bought boxes of wine, he realized the economy-sized bottles of vodka might not make sense. Obviously, he considers your health a high priority (great!), and he needs to place just as high a priority on his own health.

Just a quick comment regarding work. Sometimes, putting in long hours and taking on extra work doesn't result in respect from management, just more work. There's truth in the old saying 'If you want something done, give it to the busiest person.'

Hugs

 

[TooPatient]

I will find out Monday if my sweet dog has a bladder infection or bladder cancer

Lots of healthy doggie dust sent your way. Hope it is just an infection!

 

[junebug17]

I will find out Monday if my sweet dog has a bladder infection or bladder cancer

Oh no I'm sorry momhappy - this is tough and I'm sending lots of good thoughts that it's just an infection. Hang in there. (((hugs)))

 

[CareBear]

PB, *HUGS* Has your DH always dealt with anxiety or is this recent due to his job? Is it an option for him to take a leave of absence from work until he's feeling better?

{{{Hugs}}} right back atcha, CareBear!
I've been reflecting a lot, and I think that when we BOTH worked at the company, my situation went from crazy busy (late nights - last employee out of the building, and weekends), to crazy busy with a nut job boss. DH's position looked good in comparison. Then, I got a job fall 2013-summer of 2015 working from home, and DH was now alone at the company. There was also a bit of envy because now I didn't have to drive to/from work, and i got to stay at home with the kitties and not have to deal with the dress code and the shenanigans of on-site colleagues.

Lots of stuff going on 2015 - buying/selling homes, DH faceplanting in the supermarket when he passed out, finding out that DH WAS NOT TAKING his BP meds for almost a year!!! DH needing 4 new front teeth ...

Then the day after we closed the sale of the apartment I lost my job and got 1 week of severence for almost 2 years of work . The timing was perfect because we had a nice chunk of change from the sale of the apartment that was now liquid. I was very fortunate because I've always networked my little (ok, big juicy watermelon) butt off, and within 2 months had a job lined up. Not only was it also a remote position from home, but now that I was a contractor as opposed to a full time employee, i could command a bigger paycheck. DH has always made $10-$20K more than my base salary, so I went from always earning less than DH to earning 50% more than his salary. I think this affected him, especially since this job is very light and easy, pays more, and I get to work from home... it just made his situation look even worse in comparison.

I've tried to propose some options to him. Ask the company for a 6 month leave so that you can go do something creative, solo. Ask the company to downshift in hours - 4 day work week so you have 1 day a week to do your passion project. IDK... I think the Lexapro is helping, but I think that he may truly need more than 10 mgs. We have a follow up in a couple of months.

Sorry for the dissertation, but i feel more comfortable just venting anonymously. I can't really talk about this stuff in my "real life".

PB, kudos to you for making a positive change in your life work wise! Your DH is really lucky to have you as his rock. From my interactions with you here on PS, you sound like you REALLY have your sh** together!

 

[CareBear]

I will find out Monday if my sweet dog has a bladder infection or bladder cancer

momhappy, sending good vibes your way! Hopefully it's nothing serious!

 

[tyty333]

I will find out Monday if my sweet dog has a bladder infection or bladder cancer

Lots of healthy doggie dust sent your way. Hope it is just an infection!

Ditto....hope its just a UTI...hang in there.

 

[PintoBean]

Momhappy - lots and lots lucky doggy dust!!

Being confused with Dancing Fire would not be an insult! However, he and I are unlikely to be mixed up; I wish I had his knowledge of watches and diamonds! Actually, I wish I had his Octavia or his wife's beautiful diamonds!
I'm glad my post didn't come across in a negative manner. I was concerned my post might sound harsh, although its just that I am very concerned when I hear about someone ignoring their health. Unless, of course, he has lots of life insurance and he's your practice husband. Kidding!!!
You know how to get through to him, which is so important! When you mentioned earlier about asking how he'd feel if you bought boxes of wine, he realized the economy-sized bottles of vodka might not make sense. Obviously, he considers your health a high priority (great!), and he needs to place just as high a priority on his own health.
Just a quick comment regarding work. Sometimes, putting in long hours and taking on extra work doesn't result in respect from management, just more work. There's truth in the old saying 'If you want something done, give it to the busiest person.'
Hugs

Oh december-fire! You never sound harsh - you always sound kind and wise! Speaking of life insurance - OMG for how many years did I have to implore him to change his beneficiary from his dad to his WIFE - ME!!! It's finally ALL updated to me now And aren't ALL husbands practice husbands?

As for the extra work - I absolutely agree with you! When I first started working at the same company, I was told that I was the current "golden child". But when I didn't work EVEN more hours and produce EVEN more than before (uhh... how much later than being the last one out of the building could I go?), my star status dropped... Going forward, with each subsequent job, I held back and never gave 110%.

PB, kudos to you for making a positive change in your life work wise! Your DH is really lucky to have you as his rock. From my interactions with you here on PS, you sound like you REALLY have your sh** together!

CareBear - you just made my day - make it my YEAR! Thank you for the props!

 

[momhappy]

Thanks all. He took a turn for the worse tonight. I always said that I never wanted him to endure any suffering and sadly, I think we've gotten to that point. He collapsed on the kitchen floor tonight (he had a leg injury this morning that was assessed by the vet, but we determined that it was best just to give him pain meds/rest and deal with the leg after the urinalysis results are in). I've given him more pain meds and will take him back in tomorrow, but I'm terrified that they are going to tell me that it might be time. I've been crying all night, but not in front of the kids (they know he's seriously ill, but I don't want to upset them too terribly much).

 

[canuk-gal]

Thanks all. He took a turn for the worse tonight. I always said that I never wanted him to endure any suffering and sadly, I think we've gotten to that point. He collapsed on the kitchen floor tonight (he had a leg injury this morning that was assessed by the vet, but we determined that it was best just to give him pain meds/rest and deal with the leg after the urinalysis results are in). I've given him more pain meds and will take him back in tomorrow, but I'm terrified that they are going to tell me that it might be time. I've been crying all night, but not in front of the kids (they know he's seriously ill, but I don't want to upset them too terribly much).

How upsetting MomHappy Healing vibes your (and your pooch') way....

kind regards, Sharon

 

[december-fire]

Thanks all. He took a turn for the worse tonight. I always said that I never wanted him to endure any suffering and sadly, I think we've gotten to that point. He collapsed on the kitchen floor tonight (he had a leg injury this morning that was assessed by the vet, but we determined that it was best just to give him pain meds/rest and deal with the leg after the urinalysis results are in). I've given him more pain meds and will take him back in tomorrow, but I'm terrified that they are going to tell me that it might be time. I've been crying all night, but not in front of the kids (they know he's seriously ill, but I don't want to upset them too terribly much).

Momhappy,

I'm so sorry to hear that your sweet dog has gotten worse.

Hugs