SuLi
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2007
- Messages
- 439
...for all the LIW to hang in there!
I''m not a LIW, but I find myself lurking in this section and reading through and sympathizing with all the trials and tribulations that many of you are going through.
I wish that this time last year, I knew about Pricescope because I sincerely needed reassurance. Just to share, here is my story....(kind of long, so skimming is totally cool)
My FI and I met during the first week of college in our freshman year (August 199
. We started off as friends and didn''t officially begin dating until October. I had a lot of reservations at first because I grew up in a very traditional Asian household, and my FI is caucasian and I wasn''t sure how my parents felt about interracial dating. But, everything turned out fine - my parents love him and joke that he must have been Asian in another life as he''s totally adapted to my mom''s cooking (hehe). I''m pretty lucky...my FI is a really sweet and thoughtful guy. Even to this day, he leaves me little notes and cards in the most random places telling me how much he loves me when I am stressed out or depressed about work.
We stayed together throughout school, and he followed me to DC after we graduated. Around the same time (immediately following graduation in 2002), we had moments where we questioned whether we needed to "break up" and try dating other people since we were each other''s first BF/GF. I wasn''t allowed to date in HS (very strict upbringing) and he just never got around to it. We decided not to ruin what we had together, although we were fighting a lot, and stuck it out.
In 2004, we decided to move in together. Everything was fine until I got bitten by the marriage bug last year. At that point, we had been dating for 8 years. We''d talk about marriage, but I got the sense that he wasn''t ready at all. I think his parents told him not to rush into getting married at a young age (since they both got married when they were 21), and he really took that to heart. But, I kind of felt like we hit a plateau, and selfishly wanted to move to the next level of our relationship. We were both around 26 going on 27, and I told him that I would wait a few years to get married - I just wanted to know that we were heading in that direction.
What made things worse was pressure from home. A few examples were teasing by my relatives (aunts/uncles), an hour-long inquistion by my 85 year-old grandmother asking whether he loved me, and engagement fever at work. Starting last December, five of my colleagues got engaged (two in December, two in January, and one in late March). I was starting to feel really sad that it was NEVER going to happen for us since most of these couples were together less than my FI and I were at that time (and all of my colleagues are around the same age - mid to late twenties). Plus, he was becoming less enthusiastic in wanting to talk marriage at all, and we had a few major blows.
Literally, the day after I discovered Pricescope, he proposed (this was in April)! He apparently decided he was going to do it last November and totally kept me in the dark until April. He didn''t want to talk about getting engaged for fear that he would ruin the surprise. I had no idea that he had my ring custom made - that he was making clandestine trips to Philly, telling me he had "training" for work. We just had our 9th anniversary and are planning to get married on our 10th next October.
So, I hope that everyone going through a rough time right now will hang in there. I didn''t think it was going to happen at all and had a lot of the same arguments and frustrations. But, in the end, it was worth it.
Good luck everyone!
I''m not a LIW, but I find myself lurking in this section and reading through and sympathizing with all the trials and tribulations that many of you are going through.
I wish that this time last year, I knew about Pricescope because I sincerely needed reassurance. Just to share, here is my story....(kind of long, so skimming is totally cool)
My FI and I met during the first week of college in our freshman year (August 199
. We started off as friends and didn''t officially begin dating until October. I had a lot of reservations at first because I grew up in a very traditional Asian household, and my FI is caucasian and I wasn''t sure how my parents felt about interracial dating. But, everything turned out fine - my parents love him and joke that he must have been Asian in another life as he''s totally adapted to my mom''s cooking (hehe). I''m pretty lucky...my FI is a really sweet and thoughtful guy. Even to this day, he leaves me little notes and cards in the most random places telling me how much he loves me when I am stressed out or depressed about work. We stayed together throughout school, and he followed me to DC after we graduated. Around the same time (immediately following graduation in 2002), we had moments where we questioned whether we needed to "break up" and try dating other people since we were each other''s first BF/GF. I wasn''t allowed to date in HS (very strict upbringing) and he just never got around to it. We decided not to ruin what we had together, although we were fighting a lot, and stuck it out.
In 2004, we decided to move in together. Everything was fine until I got bitten by the marriage bug last year. At that point, we had been dating for 8 years. We''d talk about marriage, but I got the sense that he wasn''t ready at all. I think his parents told him not to rush into getting married at a young age (since they both got married when they were 21), and he really took that to heart. But, I kind of felt like we hit a plateau, and selfishly wanted to move to the next level of our relationship. We were both around 26 going on 27, and I told him that I would wait a few years to get married - I just wanted to know that we were heading in that direction.
What made things worse was pressure from home. A few examples were teasing by my relatives (aunts/uncles), an hour-long inquistion by my 85 year-old grandmother asking whether he loved me, and engagement fever at work. Starting last December, five of my colleagues got engaged (two in December, two in January, and one in late March). I was starting to feel really sad that it was NEVER going to happen for us since most of these couples were together less than my FI and I were at that time (and all of my colleagues are around the same age - mid to late twenties). Plus, he was becoming less enthusiastic in wanting to talk marriage at all, and we had a few major blows.
Literally, the day after I discovered Pricescope, he proposed (this was in April)! He apparently decided he was going to do it last November and totally kept me in the dark until April. He didn''t want to talk about getting engaged for fear that he would ruin the surprise. I had no idea that he had my ring custom made - that he was making clandestine trips to Philly, telling me he had "training" for work. We just had our 9th anniversary and are planning to get married on our 10th next October.
So, I hope that everyone going through a rough time right now will hang in there. I didn''t think it was going to happen at all and had a lot of the same arguments and frustrations. But, in the end, it was worth it.
Good luck everyone!
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