I need estate planning help please.

[winnietucker]

I think most people are doing this.
Some friends of ours just did it and it took about 3 months and 3-4 visits with the lawyer and one with an accountant to get everything in place.

Dang that’s a long time. The first time we did it, it was quick and painless. But with a kid in the mix I need to make sure I’m being thorough.

Before you meet with the attorney, make a list of all possible issues and points to go through - my parents didn’t do that and it took multiple meetings before everything was closed!

I will! I didn’t even think of that but that’s so smart! Thank you!

Please make sure the attorney is one whose practice focuses on trusts and estates. Often attorneys assume they can handle them but if it’s not their specialty something may be overlooked.

She is! I think she’s just really busy so not a lot of hand holding, which I clearly need.

If you do decide to consult another attorney, you might start by having an initial phone conversation with one or more Fellows of the American College of Trust & Estate Counsel. This is not one of those "honors" bestowed upon anyone who ponies up X amount of $$. Selection criteria and process described here:

Become an ACTEC Fellow

Learn how being an ACTEC Fellow has impacted members' careers, and the steps to nomination for trust and estate planning attorneys and professors.

www.actec.org

ACTEC Directory Search page:

Find an ACTEC Fellow

Search for an American College of Trust and Estate Counsel attorney in your area.

www.actec.org

Wishing you all the best in soon securing as much peace of mind as possible!

I did not know this was a thing and I’ll definitely look into it. Thank you so much!

 

[MollyMalone]

I know that not everyone will find this a desirable or feasible option, but I'd like to put in a plug for at least exploring the idea of a professional serving as the executor. And then consider allowing for that in your will... perhaps as an alternate, "fallback" executor.

I had a good idea of how many hours my brother-in-law, for example, spent on wrapping up my widowed MIL's estate (my MIL was not a wealthy woman, but she had had a will and trust drawn up by a specialist, so the time & aggravation weren't because she died without a will). Having been privy to that, I was happy to pay someone else to handle my dad's estate & fortunately, my brother agreed with me, so we both waived our role as executors. Especially in the initial weeks after my dad's death when we were grieving, it was a wonderful privilege to not be obliged to do anything.

 

[LilAlex]

You always have to look at these things like your walking with your spouse and get hit by a bus while the child is elsewhere. Both gone in an instant.
Then survivership becomes critically important.

No, this is survivorship vis-a-vis a safe deposit box. There is some very literal thinking here. My point is that anyone with access to a safe deposit box can access it up until the time that the bank becomes aware that the loved one has passed. The hospitals and hospices do not send a text to all local banks at the precise time of death. And even then, the family generally gets a heads-up in the form of a hospital admission followed by clinical deterioration prior to actual death, etc. Interpret all of this how you will. You may see an opportunity here or you may not.

And this -- almost no one of any means has enough "stuff" in their safe deposit box to move the needle, estate-wise, so it's small potatoes to leave it there and pay a little state estate or inheritance tax. And if you are worried about federal estate tax and have seven-plus figures worth of gems in there, you should not be getting estate planning advice from clowns on the internet like me.