I Really Could Use Your Advice!!

[HappyNewLife]

I''m glad he was willing to open up to you, that''s great SJ! I hope he continues with the open, honest communication

 

[treefrog]

Of course he said that... he''s in the Witness Protection Program!

Just kidding. Sounds like a very productive weekend. I can''t imagine why he was so protective of that information... then again, I can''t imagine going through something like that at such a young age.

I''m still a little confused over part of what you wrote:

We had a very long talk this weekend. I found out that he is from a deeply religious family. For a few years in high school he tried to do what his parents wanted. By the time he was 16 he just couldn''t fake it anymore. He is not a very religious person and has some serious questions about all of it. Well, when he came to his parents they threw him out. He was heartbroken and went to live with a grandmother until high school.

At first, I thought you were saying this happened during high school but later, it sounds like it happened before high school.

I don''t think you should feel bad for thinking the worst. You need to protect yourself. There''s all sorts of crazy people in the world these days and making the commitment to move in with and/or marry somebody is a huge decision. I think you''re smart to still play it cautious. Take it day by day. Hopefully, this is a big burden that has been lifted for him and the two of you can open up and continue to learn more about each other.

I''m glad you came back and I hope we continue to see you on here. I was certainly wondering how it went and we just need to remember that we have all sorts of people here. Spelling and grammar is a huge pet-peeve for many. You do use proper capitalization and punctuation and given the choice, I''ll take proper sentences over spelling any day of the week... as long as it''s not on a resume!

Treefrog

 

[SleepyJean98]

Sorry treefrog, I meant this:

We had a very long talk this weekend. I found out that he is from a deeply religious family. For a few years in high school he tried to do what his parents wanted. By the time he was 16 he just couldn''t fake it anymore. He is not a very religious person and has some serious questions about all of it. Well, when he came to his parents they threw him out. He was heartbroken and went to live with a grandmother until collage.

 

[PumpkinPie]

SleepyJean I think you handled the criticism of your spelling/language with grace. I am all about spelling and grammar as well, but I found the other posters''s responses to be a bit harsh. Your English is wonderful for a second language (and I actually wouldn''t have guessed it was your second language).

I''m glad that you came back to post again and I''m glad to read that you and your bf talked and you found out some more information and some background that puts the rest in context. I know some people who grew up in strict religions and do not talk much about those experiences - this would be especially hard for your bf if it led to him basically being rejected by his family.

Please still stick to your guns about the speed that you want your relationship to move, but I''m happy that things are looking better.

 

[junebug17]

Glad you returned to update us! Please don''t let a few rude remarks keep you away...also glad to hear he opened up a little and shared some of his past. Don''t feel badly about being suspicious, you really should know more about him if you and he are going to have a long-term relationship. I''m glad you are feeling better about things!

 

[morallybankrupt]

Just keep your eyes open. There seem to be a few warning signs for controlling behavior.

 

[oddoneout]

At least he opened up to you. I don''t know why he held back though. It sounds like he had a bit of a rough life.