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I think I annoyed him :(

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Mandarine

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 20, 2006
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So the way my BF has been talking it almost seems as if he was planning for us to get married early next year....
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...of coruse, me being a girl I''m just thinking "so shouldn''t I know thi?" "don''t I need to start planning?"...and panic sets in!!!...how much time would I need to plan a wedding, what is a reasonable budget, should I start saving money, etc etc. So I guess tonight I just pushed him to the limit and asked to many questions....I can tell he got annoyed
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He was asking him what kind of answer I was looking for...anyway...it''s just hard to not show my need to know!!!!!!!!! One side of me feels I need to stop talking about it because I will drive him nuts....part of me thinks that he should want to talk about it too...after all, it will be his wedding too!...but boys are not like girls
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M~
 
I used to drive my fiance nuts too before we got engaged. Unfortunately for now, we can''t even set a date! Fortunately though he finally proposed which I think is holding me over for a bit
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I''ve got my eye on a dress already..

Thing about wedding planning is that guys really do care more than you think they would (at least mine does). For example, he''s very specific in that he doesn''t want a destination wedding (boo!) and even specific little details (like he wants to pick out his own groom''s cake).
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So once your guy starts the ball rolling if he''s anything like mine he won''t shut up
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but I think its cute I really do!
 
My observation on guys- wedding and engagement talk is all fine and dandy as long as THEY are the ones initiating the dicussion. The minute you try to pin them down to something they shrivel up and retreat back into their shells. At least, that''s my experience with my guy so everything we''ve decided I''ve let him be the one to bring it up. It''s hard but just try to be patient and take your cues from him!!
 
That would be cute!!!....and I now he will have his opnions on everything...I guess I want that now!
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But I know, I know I have to wait...

I think maybe he doesn''t want to say too much because he doesn''t want me to be expecting the engagement at a certain time of the year....

I need to control myself...I should just feel lucky enough to have someone so wonderful and enjoy the right now more. I guess I will have time to stress about the planning later
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Thanks for your note!! M~
 
Date: 3/7/2006 10:31:44 PM
Author: chickflick
My observation on guys- wedding and engagement talk is all fine and dandy as long as THEY are the ones initiating the dicussion. The minute you try to pin them down to something they shrivel up and retreat back into their shells.
I''ve noticed that too and for the longest time it really bugged me. I don''t think it''s fair. What I did after I realized that was to ask him, the next time he brought it up, if we could discuss it freely without either of us feeling pressured. I told him I felt like he was shutting himself out everytime I had something to say about it, and since it''s important for me to pick out my ring, I wanted to be able to tell him about things I''ve found without being nervous about it.

Telling them about how we feel is always the best thing to do. We''ve all heard it before: communication is key. It''s a cliché, but it''s true. Calm, honest, patient communication works everytime.

So, my advice to you, Mandarine, is to sit down and tell him about your concerns. Tell him it''s important to you and you''d like to be involved. Tell him you feel like you should know about these things. Don''t be demanding, just honest. You''ll see, things will work themselves out.

Good luck!
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See, That is how I feel~! I don''t even want to start a discussion on marriage because I don''t want him to go into "shell mode" even before I start conversations.,..

I wish you luck though!
 
My guy did the same thing for the longest time: he would shut up or change the subject whenever the term "marriage" was brought up. Finally, I had to sit down with him and have a serious talk about his feelings regarding marriage. Turns out that he''s been thinking of it a lot, but didn''t really want to talk about it until he felt he was almost ready.

Talk to him. Communication is key, and couples can''t read each others minds, no matter how close they are.
 
Tell him that for some unknown reason not having any sort of time frame makes you feel very insecure. Planning a wedding seems like a huge overwhelming task, and it''s making you feel panicky. It would really help you to feel more secure if you could picture your wedding together in your head and get a feel for what''s going to be involved. But what the your(plural) wedding is going to look like depends so much on the season, you can''t even begin to picture it in your head without knowing what general time of year he''s thinking about.

I have fantastic luck with this subject when I start off saying I feel insecure. And it''s nothing more than the truth. Not knowing the time frame makes me feel like the ground under my feet is like quicksand! Oh and remember to refer to the wedding as ''our wedding'' more than half the time whenever the subject comes up.
 
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