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I think I''m spending too much time on PS ...

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Lauren8211

Lauren8211

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
11,073
I actually had a dream last night that I was on PS, and I "threadjacked" and the OP basically bitched me out in her thread, and everyone else followed suit.

I actually cried in my dream b/c the PSers were yelling at me. LOL.

Maybe I need a break?
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Haha That is soo weird! A few nights ago, I had almost the same dream!!! haha I had a dream that I was on here, and I made a dumb comment (imagine that!) and everyone was yelling at me soooooooo bad. They were brutal, then my doorbell rang and one of the ps''ers threw a computer at me!!?!?!! HAHAH
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B*tches!!! haha I''m so addicted to this site!!
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hahaha! Your dream is even worse than mine! Maybe some of the PSers need to tone it down in here! lol.

Threw a computer at you? Man that is intense!
 
HAHA Dude I know!! CRAZY women!
 
Seriously, I''ve noticed it too latley. There have been quite a few posts that if I were a new poster would totally have made me never want to post here again. Its been bothering me that when a new poster comes here for advice and delievers minimal information about their problem they are told the following: (this is in my thoughts based on what I read, not quoted exactly)

1.) They need therapy

2.) They should get some self esteem and spend time loving themselves (are we not allowed moments of internal weakness?)

3.) The should leave their SO if they are not getting what they want

I remember coming here as a new poster with questions and just wanted a place to vent my mind. Maybe I was unaware at the time however I think some of these posts take such a judgmental tone that I wouldn''t want to continue posting here if I was new. I know that people don''t mean to do it intentionally but it sometimes comes across quite harsh and the OP has to come back and give further details to defend themselves and their relationship. That isn''t fair to the new people that just want some support and someone to recognize that they understand what they are going through.

I hope that after I am no longer a LIW I will still be able to offer sound advice with out coming across as judgemental. Please remind me I said this if you see anything to the contrary.

BTW...threadjacks happen and most often than not the OP doesn''t mind.
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EM -

Yeah, I''ve been noticing that too. I mean, I''m all for honest opinions, but people tend to jump to a lot of conclusions, and make crazy accusations about a post that they know very little about. I assume, for the most part, that people word things incorrectly a LOT of the time, especially when they''re upset, and I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. If something concerns me, I''ll ask if thats what they really meant. I try to defend PSers, especially newbies, if I can.

Everyone comes here for support, so it seems like we should be SUPPORTIVE, and make sure we''re 100% clear on a situation before we start tearing apart people''s lives.
 
Yes I totally agree... heck I''ve only been on here for like 3 weeks now, but I''ve noticed A LOT of that lately, compared to posts in the past ( I pretty much read all of them! haha ) Are people so miserable and unhappy with their lives they have to tell people to break out with SO over something small when the OP just wanted reassurance that they aren''t the only ones going through boy drama. Why can''t we all just love and have rainbows and ponies!?! haha jk
 
Date: 6/25/2008 10:23:44 AM
Author: elledizzy5
EM -

Yeah, I''ve been noticing that too. I mean, I''m all for honest opinions, but people tend to jump to a lot of conclusions, and make crazy accusations about a post that they know very little about. I assume, for the most part, that people word things incorrectly a LOT of the time, especially when they''re upset, and I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. If something concerns me, I''ll ask if thats what they really meant. I try to defend PSers, especially newbies, if I can.

Everyone comes here for support, so it seems like we should be SUPPORTIVE, and make sure we''re 100% clear on a situation before we start tearing apart people''s lives.
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I know, can you imagine if someone left their boyfriend based on what happened here. I would feel horrible!!!! We don''t know these people and to comment like we do sometimes is soooo dangerous, IMHO!

Well, I''m at least glad there are a few of us on the same page. Elledizzy....we can turn it around!
 
You ladies are so sweet!!
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I''m the worst when it comes to wording things!!!! People probably think I''m ignorant or something. I just have always had a hard time conveying my thoughts into text.
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HOH4J - I''ve had MANY conversations with you and I don''t think that at all. Don''t be so hard on yourself -- leave that to the other PSers! LOL.

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Serioulsy! Its not you two we are talking about here. I try to just remember that people here just want support.
 
Date: 6/25/2008 10:30:22 AM
Author: elledizzy5
HOH4J - I''ve had MANY conversations with you and I don''t think that at all. Don''t be so hard on yourself -- leave that to the other PSers! LOL.


HAHA You crack me up!!!!! I could totally see us being friends if we lived closer!! haha
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I know! That''s what I hate about the internet! You meet all these great people, and they''re hundreds, if not thousands of miles away.

We need to plan a LIW/PS meet up in some exotic location!
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I love all the sentiments listed above. There is most certainly something to be said for positive support and a strengths-based perspective on all issues posted here.

Unfortunately, loving themselves is often the last thing many women allow themselves to do. I think PS is a great venue for seeking out affirmation.

Some PSers have a great knack for finding that silver lining to any dark cloud!

That said, if someone asks for advice, and they put only a piece of their story on here, they sort of leave themselves wide open for criticism and, sometimes, judgment. There will always be those that judge. So, I am thinking that when people post on difficult issues, they should recognize that they will receive some difficult responses. If they need advice from someone who knows their situation well, they should ask someone who does. Personally, if someone''s situation is too delicate or I feel there is not enough information, I just won''t post.

Finally, I have literally only been posting for two days (and am ALREADY an addict!), but I must say I LOVE the unique "family" we have on here. Not everyone has someone close in their life also waiting for a proposal, and this is a place where we all are going through this same exciting yet sometimes awkward process! My favorite are "progress updates"! Only fellow PSers would understand...
 
Haha, and I''m all for a meet-up!! Maybe we can do regional ones...
 
Date: 6/25/2008 10:41:16 AM
Author: ash313
I love all the sentiments listed above. There is most certainly something to be said for positive support and a strengths-based perspective on all issues posted here.


Unfortunately, loving themselves is often the last thing many women allow themselves to do. I think PS is a great venue for seeking out affirmation.


Some PSers have a great knack for finding that silver lining to any dark cloud!


That said, if someone asks for advice, and they put only a piece of their story on here, they sort of leave themselves wide open for criticism and, sometimes, judgment. There will always be those that judge. So, I am thinking that when people post on difficult issues, they should recognize that they will receive some difficult responses. If they need advice from someone who knows their situation well, they should ask someone who does. Personally, if someone''s situation is too delicate or I feel there is not enough information, I just won''t post.


Finally, I have literally only been posting for two days (and am ALREADY an addict!), but I must say I LOVE the unique ''family'' we have on here. Not everyone has someone close in their life also waiting for a proposal, and this is a place where we all are going through this same exciting yet sometimes awkward process! My favorite are ''progress updates''! Only fellow PSers would understand...
Click to expand...

Hehe! You seem like a sweetie pie Ash! Want a funny progress read my OUCH one!
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All my friends think I''m crazy and I over analyze every situation (which I do!) It''s nice to be able to post our little obsessions on here!!
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I agree! People have been very quick to tell posters to break up with their BFs. I think MOST of us have come to a point where there was more arguing in our relationship than happiness. Um, are we not allowed to vent? I truly believe in hanging in there till the end if you really think a man might be "the one".
 
Meet-up sounds FUN! I live in INDY, where is everyone?
 
Orlando, FL...... any PSers nearby or coming to visit?
 
HOH4J: Thanks :) I like to think of myself as a sweetie pie - haha! You guys all seem amazing....

I''m in Detroit, Michigan! And elledizzy5 is in Ann Arbor, MI, where I go to school! Izzy03, we want a Disney World honeymoon, so that is close by you! Although I''m thinking the only person I''ll want to see that week will be my man....haha
 
So we need a Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Ohio regional meeting!

Woo hoo! We can meet at Cedar Point! lol
 
Date: 6/25/2008 10:41:16 AM
Author: ash313
I love all the sentiments listed above. There is most certainly something to be said for positive support and a strengths-based perspective on all issues posted here.

Unfortunately, loving themselves is often the last thing many women allow themselves to do. I think PS is a great venue for seeking out affirmation.

Some PSers have a great knack for finding that silver lining to any dark cloud!

That said, if someone asks for advice, and they put only a piece of their story on here, they sort of leave themselves wide open for criticism and, sometimes, judgment. There will always be those that judge. So, I am thinking that when people post on difficult issues, they should recognize that they will receive some difficult responses. If they need advice from someone who knows their situation well, they should ask someone who does. Personally, if someone''s situation is too delicate or I feel there is not enough information, I just won''t post.

Finally, I have literally only been posting for two days (and am ALREADY an addict!), but I must say I LOVE the unique ''family'' we have on here. Not everyone has someone close in their life also waiting for a proposal, and this is a place where we all are going through this same exciting yet sometimes awkward process! My favorite are ''progress updates''! Only fellow PSers would understand...
Click to expand...
Ash313...in no way am I suggesting that people shouldn''t post difficult issues. Nor am I saying that people shouldn''t get difficult responses. However, there is a certian tone and lack of respect for the feelings of certian posters as of late. Yes, there are people that will be judgemental, however that is what makes this forum different than some of the forums out there. If you posted something and just wanted to vent, how would you feel if you got some of the responses posted above?

I hope that durring your time here you will not have to experience that. It seems that you have a good feel for what we are about here however its just my impression that there are some that don''t give it a chance due to the situations listed above. Just some food for thought.
 
Date: 6/25/2008 10:53:05 AM
Author: elledizzy5
So we need a Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Ohio regional meeting!


Woo hoo! We can meet at Cedar Point! lol
Click to expand...


I second that!!!
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BTW...I grew up in EL, Michigan. However, I''ve been out east since I graduated hs. I''m in NYC if you''re ever out here.
 
I''m going to NY in July!
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Date: 6/25/2008 10:53:17 AM
Author: emeraldlover1
Date: 6/25/2008 10:41:16 AM

Author: ash313

I love all the sentiments listed above. There is most certainly something to be said for positive support and a strengths-based perspective on all issues posted here.


Unfortunately, loving themselves is often the last thing many women allow themselves to do. I think PS is a great venue for seeking out affirmation.


Some PSers have a great knack for finding that silver lining to any dark cloud!


That said, if someone asks for advice, and they put only a piece of their story on here, they sort of leave themselves wide open for criticism and, sometimes, judgment. There will always be those that judge. So, I am thinking that when people post on difficult issues, they should recognize that they will receive some difficult responses. If they need advice from someone who knows their situation well, they should ask someone who does. Personally, if someone''s situation is too delicate or I feel there is not enough information, I just won''t post.


Finally, I have literally only been posting for two days (and am ALREADY an addict!), but I must say I LOVE the unique ''family'' we have on here. Not everyone has someone close in their life also waiting for a proposal, and this is a place where we all are going through this same exciting yet sometimes awkward process! My favorite are ''progress updates''! Only fellow PSers would understand...
Click to expand...

Ash313...in no way am I suggesting that people shouldn''t post difficult issues. Nor am I saying that people shouldn''t get difficult responses. However, there is a certian tone and lack of respect for the feelings of certian posters as of late. Yes, there are people that will be judgemental, however that is what makes this forum different than some of the forums out there. If you posted something and just wanted to vent, how would you feel if you got some of the responses posted above?


I hope that durring your time here you will not have to experience that. It seems that you have a good feel for what we are about here however its just my impression that there are some that don''t give it a chance due to the situations listed above. Just some food for thought.
Click to expand...


EM - I am totally with you. You''re right, sometimes the answers will be tough, but they should ALWAYS be presented with care, tact, warmth and sensitivity to other''s feelings. Absolutely. Respect of each other''s feelings should be the first thing in our minds when we post responses! We are on the same page, just wanted to mention that there is not always a "happy" answer to many situations, in which case sending *hugs* or positive intentions may be the best response. It''s unfortunate that some get a disrespectful tone instead Glad to be part of this group - you seem like a really great contributing member!
 
Date: 6/25/2008 11:00:20 AM
Author: ash313

Date: 6/25/2008 10:53:17 AM
Author: emeraldlover1

Date: 6/25/2008 10:41:16 AM

Author: ash313

I love all the sentiments listed above. There is most certainly something to be said for positive support and a strengths-based perspective on all issues posted here.


Unfortunately, loving themselves is often the last thing many women allow themselves to do. I think PS is a great venue for seeking out affirmation.


Some PSers have a great knack for finding that silver lining to any dark cloud!


That said, if someone asks for advice, and they put only a piece of their story on here, they sort of leave themselves wide open for criticism and, sometimes, judgment. There will always be those that judge. So, I am thinking that when people post on difficult issues, they should recognize that they will receive some difficult responses. If they need advice from someone who knows their situation well, they should ask someone who does. Personally, if someone''s situation is too delicate or I feel there is not enough information, I just won''t post.


Finally, I have literally only been posting for two days (and am ALREADY an addict!), but I must say I LOVE the unique ''family'' we have on here. Not everyone has someone close in their life also waiting for a proposal, and this is a place where we all are going through this same exciting yet sometimes awkward process! My favorite are ''progress updates''! Only fellow PSers would understand...
Click to expand...

Ash313...in no way am I suggesting that people shouldn''t post difficult issues. Nor am I saying that people shouldn''t get difficult responses. However, there is a certian tone and lack of respect for the feelings of certian posters as of late. Yes, there are people that will be judgemental, however that is what makes this forum different than some of the forums out there. If you posted something and just wanted to vent, how would you feel if you got some of the responses posted above?


I hope that durring your time here you will not have to experience that. It seems that you have a good feel for what we are about here however its just my impression that there are some that don''t give it a chance due to the situations listed above. Just some food for thought.
Click to expand...


EM - I am totally with you. You''re right, sometimes the answers will be tough, but they should ALWAYS be presented with care, tact, warmth and sensitivity to other''s feelings. Absolutely. Respect of each other''s feelings should be the first thing in our minds when we post responses! We are on the same page, just wanted to mention that there is not always a ''happy'' answer to many situations, in which case sending *hugs* or positive intentions may be the best response. It''s unfortunate that some get a disrespectful tone instead Glad to be part of this group - you seem like a really great contributing member!
Click to expand...

Ash, I think we are on the same page...especially since I just really want people to feel comfortable here. There was a time when I went through months without posting because of said things mentioned above. For example, a little over a year ago I posted an update about my situation with my FF. We had just decided to purchase a home together in NYC. This was a huge decision for us and we made it on our own. I didn''t feel the need to pst my decision process because I wasn''t asking for advice just simply posting an update. However, I got the advice and some that was helpfull but I didn''t ask for it and I felt that I then had to explain how I chose to protect myself in the event that something happened. Here I was just trying to give an update and find myself having to explain my situation. Way to rain on my parade, lol. Sooo, my point was to hopefully let new posters know that they shouldn''t have to dream about getting kicked off or yelled at on the forum. That is just crazy stuff!
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Date: 6/25/2008 10:58:37 AM
Author: HeadOverHeels4James
I''m going to NY in July!
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When?
 
July 27-Aug 2ish... my best friend is from there and we are going to visit with her friends and family! They live in the Rochester area.
 
Date: 6/25/2008 10:26:26 AM
Author: emeraldlover1

I know, can you imagine if someone left their boyfriend based on what happened here. I would feel horrible!!!! We don''t know these people and to comment like we do sometimes is soooo dangerous, IMHO!

Well, I''m at least glad there are a few of us on the same page. Elledizzy....we can turn it around!
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I really do hope it takes a more positive turn. I''d like it to turn around!

Besides, if I wanted criticism I''d go call my mom. LOL.
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