If you could change ONE thing what would it be?

[House Cat]

I'd want my dog and 2 cats back. We lost them all within 11 months' time, and our house hasn't been the same since the final one left us nearly 2 years ago.

Trouble is, I don't want new animals. I want those ones.

Hugs to you. I'm so sorry.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Win back all the money that I have lost in the stock market...

 

[lulu]

A good friend of ours was diagnosed this week with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I'd give anything for one wish.

 

[girlyglam]

I don't often post in this forum, but this thread struck a cord with me because it's something I think about a lot. Mine would be to have my cousin back. She passed away a year and a half ago at 28. She was my best friend, and essentially my sister. When she decided she wanted to go school in America, from Korea, she lived with us. I'm an only child, and we were so so close...to me, she was my sister. She was the first person I felt like I could truly be myself around, and I think I was my truest, best self when I was with her. There is so much that is amazing about my life right now - I have hobbies that I am truly passionate about, I'm probably in the best shape I've ever been in, I'm healthy, I have a great job and was recently promoted, I'm in love and getting married later this year, and I have amazing friends and family. But the fact that my cousin isn't here and never will be weighs heavily on me. I can't believe she won't be at my wedding, I'll never be at hers, that when future hubby and I someday visit Korea she won't be there, that we'll never raise our children together or send our kids to each other's homes to spend summers together...truly, if she were still alive, my life at this moment would be almost perfect.

If I could get a second change, I would want my friend to still be here. I lost a close friend of mine when we were both 24. We were actually roommates at the time too. It's been 7 years, and I still miss her every day. This is a complicated wish because my fiancé was actually dating my friend at the time and had she lived, they would have gotten married. (Yes, our relationship has quite an interesting backstory). It's something I think about a lot - if she lived, I wouldn't be where I am/have what I have now, and what does that mean about how I feel about her death and mourn for her? Does my current happiness negate the sadness I feel? I think about that a lot. I can honestly say though that even knowing that she would be with future hubby, not me, and even knowing that I may not have made some decisions that I made largely influenced by her death that led to things that are pretty amazing in my life right now, if I could wave a magic wand and have her back, I definitely would.

Sorry, this got kind of long and ramble-y. It's a good, thought-provoking question!

 

[ihy138]

I immediately thought money (specifically enough to pay off loans, buy a house, and get THE holy grail OEC). But then I read responses and felt guilty that I didn't first think of having a lost loved one back. I'm not sure if I would want to reverse losses in my life. I am a strong person because of them. I'd feel selfish wishing people back who were in pain. I guess all wants are selfish, though.

 

[LLJsmom]

I am touched by the stories of loss, and humbled that people have lived through these periods in life.

I hate to be the materialistic one but it's money right now that would help. I know I started the thread on trading rocks, but that is my dream/fantasy thing to distract me from RL. So yeah. More money, also since I can't say health or a guarantee that my parents will live to see their great grand children. That is a secret desire.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

My memory. I had a clot that lodged in an artery in my eye when I was pregnant in 2014, it was considered a stroke and I lost the central vision in my left eye. The vision loss I don't notice most of the time. However my memory and cognitive functions took a hit. Sometimes I can't remember my kids middle names, I get lost driving, can't pay with cash because I always give them the wrong amount and sometimes while driving if I'm at a light I question whether I'm on the right side of the road (I always am).

I went to a funeral recently and someone mentioned a conversation we had at Christmas. Couldn't remember even talking to him, I had to confirm with my husband. Nobody at Yale told me this could happen so it caught me off guard and it's exhausting in a daily basis.

Stephanie, I am so sorry you went through that but how amazing you got through it and did as well as you have been doing and that your LO survived! I know how difficult memory issues can be and I am sorry you are dealing with this. Perhaps with time the brain can recover more of your memory functioning. The brain is pretty amazing that way. Will be thinking good thoughts for you.

Thanks, I am so thankful that my son was born healthy and really the vision is minor. Yale told me I had the best stroke possible.

 

[caf]

Get rid of my two autoimmune diseases which are interfering with my life.

If the change could be retroactive, I would make it to not getting them in the first place.

I ditto this. If I could change one thing it would be to get rid of my autoimmune diseases. They really can make life challenging. I am sorry you are dealing with similar health issues.

I third this. Same here.

 

[Gypsy]

I would be a financially stable and secure multimillionaire without any debt.

 

[missy]

I would have removed my personality-disordered parents from my life when I first left home at 18. Permanently. Things would have been very, very different for me.

But hey, I'm taking my marching orders from myself now and life is good, my DH and I are happy and that is a lot to have.

You did it Kristie and it wasn't easy. You should be so proud of yourself. You are a strong and courageous woman. XOXO.

I would take away my sons mental illness.

(((Hugs))) to you Queenie, another strong and wonderful woman. I am so sorry you are dealing with this but you are doing it as well as possible and my heart goes out to you and your family.

I'd want my dog and 2 cats back. We lost them all within 11 months' time, and our house hasn't been the same since the final one left us nearly 2 years ago.

Trouble is, I don't want new animals. I want those ones.

I am so sorry aljdewey. (((Hugs))).

A good friend of ours was diagnosed this week with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I'd give anything for one wish.

lulu, I wish you could get that wish lulu. I'm so sorry.

I immediately thought money (specifically enough to pay off loans, buy a house, and get THE holy grail OEC). But then I read responses and felt guilty that I didn't first think of having a lost loved one back. I'm not sure if I would want to reverse losses in my life. I am a strong person because of them. I'd feel selfish wishing people back who were in pain. I guess all wants are selfish, though.

ihy, I am thinking everyone who wished for a loved one back would want them back free of the pain they had before. Don't feel guilty. Your loved ones knew how much you loved them and vice versa.

Win back all the money that I have lost in the stock market...

DF, Hang in there. I am hoping it will come back strong.

I am touched by the stories of loss, and humbled that people have lived through these periods in life.

I hate to be the materialistic one but it's money right now that would help. I know I started the thread on trading rocks, but that is my dream/fantasy thing to distract me from RL. So yeah. More money, also since I can't say health or a guarantee that my parents will live to see their great grand children. That is a secret desire.

LLJsmom, I have a similar secret desire...for my family to live to a very ripe old healthy age and to see all the grandchildren have children. Health is the most important thing and the one thing we can only do so much for. So wishing for money is more within reach than wishing incurable illness or disease away in many cases. Unfortunately.

I would have stayed with education as my major in college. I wanted to be a teacher but my group of friends were always making fun of education majors so I switched. I did end up teaching as an adjunct for 21 years and loved it but if I'd stuck with my original major I'd probably be a full time teacher.

Marcy, you would have been an amazing teacher and I am glad you got to teach as an adjunct for so long.

 

[missy]

I don't often post in this forum, but this thread struck a cord with me because it's something I think about a lot. Mine would be to have my cousin back. She passed away a year and a half ago at 28. She was my best friend, and essentially my sister. When she decided she wanted to go school in America, from Korea, she lived with us. I'm an only child, and we were so so close...to me, she was my sister. She was the first person I felt like I could truly be myself around, and I think I was my truest, best self when I was with her. There is so much that is amazing about my life right now - I have hobbies that I am truly passionate about, I'm probably in the best shape I've ever been in, I'm healthy, I have a great job and was recently promoted, I'm in love and getting married later this year, and I have amazing friends and family. But the fact that my cousin isn't here and never will be weighs heavily on me. I can't believe she won't be at my wedding, I'll never be at hers, that when future hubby and I someday visit Korea she won't be there, that we'll never raise our children together or send our kids to each other's homes to spend summers together...truly, if she were still alive, my life at this moment would be almost perfect.

If I could get a second change, I would want my friend to still be here. I lost a close friend of mine when we were both 24. We were actually roommates at the time too. It's been 7 years, and I still miss her every day. This is a complicated wish because my fiancé was actually dating my friend at the time and had she lived, they would have gotten married. (Yes, our relationship has quite an interesting backstory). It's something I think about a lot - if she lived, I wouldn't be where I am/have what I have now, and what does that mean about how I feel about her death and mourn for her? Does my current happiness negate the sadness I feel? I think about that a lot. I can honestly say though that even knowing that she would be with future hubby, not me, and even knowing that I may not have made some decisions that I made largely influenced by her death that led to things that are pretty amazing in my life right now, if I could wave a magic wand and have her back, I definitely would.

Sorry, this got kind of long and ramble-y. It's a good, thought-provoking question!

girlyglam, thank you for sharing. Your post touched my heart and you are a lovely person. I am so sorry your cousin and friend are gone and I can feel how much you miss them. I am glad you have so much good in your life but I understand what you would give just to have them back. (((Hugs))).

Get rid of my two autoimmune diseases which are interfering with my life.

If the change could be retroactive, I would make it to not getting them in the first place.

I ditto this. If I could change one thing it would be to get rid of my autoimmune diseases. They really can make life challenging. I am sorry you are dealing with similar health issues.

I third this. Same here.

Caf, wishing you symptom free. And sending hugs to you.

I would be a financially stable and secure multimillionaire without any debt.

Hope you get this wish Gypsy!

 

[missy]

I wish everyone here could get the wishes they want. I really do. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt wishes.

 

[bbziggy]

I would wish for my mother and my father-in-law back ! My mom passed at 70 from cancer and I miss her so much and my father-in-law was the most amazing man! He did live a full life though passing at 96 just about 2 years ago.

 

[Puppmom]

Wow, some of you have some pretty heavy stuff going on. Things are not perfect in my life buy I feel extremely grateful that we are all healthy at the moment.

If I could choose one thing I would send my husband back to work pronto. He's been a stay at home dad for two years (our kids are 5 and almost 3 now) and it's done a number on his mental health. We planned for it to be 12-18 months and he's ready to go back to work and now having a hard time finding a good fit for employment. It's very difficult for me to understand because I would much rather be home with my kids than at work. He is an amazing dad and I'm so happy my kids are with him (and MIL - she watches them about 12 hours a week) rather than in childcare. He's just so lost. I can't fix it and it is really wearing on our relationship. But, I do feel very fortunate that we can temporarily afford to live on one income and even had the opportunity for him to be the primary caregiver for our kids.

 

[arkieb1]

I would love to have my health back, and I would have married a different person, who was probably a much better "fit" with my personality if I could go back in time.

 

[NOYFB]

I'd love it if my grandmother hadn't passed 10 days before my wedding and was able to be there and celebrate with us and be in our pictures. It's been 15 years this past week and it's had me really missing her.

 

[missy]

I would wish for my mother and my father-in-law back ! My mom passed at 70 from cancer and I miss her so much and my father-in-law was the most amazing man! He did live a full life though passing at 96 just about 2 years ago.

bbziggy, I am so sorry your mom and father in law are gone. They were wonderful people and I am glad you had them in your life. And how great that your father in law lived till 96!

Wow, some of you have some pretty heavy stuff going on. Things are not perfect in my life buy I feel extremely grateful that we are all healthy at the moment.

If I could choose one thing I would send my husband back to work pronto. He's been a stay at home dad for two years (our kids are 5 and almost 3 now) and it's done a number on his mental health. We planned for it to be 12-18 months and he's ready to go back to work and now having a hard time finding a good fit for employment. It's very difficult for me to understand because I would much rather be home with my kids than at work. He is an amazing dad and I'm so happy my kids are with him (and MIL - she watches them about 12 hours a week) rather than in childcare. He's just so lost. I can't fix it and it is really wearing on our relationship. But, I do feel very fortunate that we can temporarily afford to live on one income and even had the opportunity for him to be the primary caregiver for our kids.

puppmom, I hope your dh finds the job of his dreams soon and no matter what this will be a wonderful time to look back on this time he got to spend with the children. The one thing you can never get back is this precious time with your little ones and I know he (and you and the kids) will look back on this time and cherish it.

I would love to have my health back, and I would have married a different person, who was probably a much better "fit" with my personality if I could go back in time.

arkieb, sending you good health dust and big (((hugs))).

I'd love it if my grandmother hadn't passed 10 days before my wedding and was able to be there and celebrate with us and be in our pictures. It's been 15 years this past week and it's had me really missing her.

Aww Lil Misfit, I am sorry. I went through something similar as my grandfather passed away 6 months before we got married. It would have been so wonderful to have him there especially because my grandmother had died 12 years before that so none of my grandparents were alive when we got married.

My grandmother would have been so happy because all through my undergraduate and graduate schooling she kept saying that getting all my degrees was nice but when am I going to get married (and have children). LOL. She came from a different era and that's what she wanted for me and my sister. Forget the fact we were working hard and obtaining advanced degrees haha when were we getting married. And all those years I kept telling her grandma I never want to get married. Now I hope she knows both my sister and I did and that my sister had children. Her great grandchildren.It's a nice thought thinking she might know...But I digress.

I am sorry for all the loved ones who are gone who we miss terribly. I wish they were all here with us once again so we could really show how much we love and appreciate them and all they meant to us in our lives.

 

[aljdewey]

I'd want my dog and 2 cats back. We lost them all within 11 months' time, and our house hasn't been the same since the final one left us nearly 2 years ago.

Trouble is, I don't want new animals. I want those ones.

Hugs to you. I'm so sorry.

House Cat and Missy, thank you SO much for your kindness. I'm used to people not quite getting why they were such a big deal to me because they were 'just animals', but to me, they were so much more. They were our family, and it's comforting when it's acknowledged that the loss is still profound to us.

Thank you....most sincerely!

 

[Laila619]

For my DH to earn a higher income.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Nothing on an individual basis, but if I could have changed one thing in world history, I would have stopped the Holocaust from happening.

 

[rainwood]

If I could change one thing, I'd have my late husband not develop leukemia. He'd have had 20 years without serious health issues and would still be alive.

If it has to be something about me, I'd go back to my college weight. Oh, to be 5'8" and 117 lbs. again!

 

[Jambalaya]

I'd want my dog and 2 cats back. We lost them all within 11 months' time, and our house hasn't been the same since the final one left us nearly 2 years ago.

Trouble is, I don't want new animals. I want those ones.

Hugs to you. I'm so sorry.

House Cat and Missy, thank you SO much for your kindness. I'm used to people not quite getting why they were such a big deal to me because they were 'just animals', but to me, they were so much more. They were our family, and it's comforting when it's acknowledged that the loss is still profound to us.

Thank you....most sincerely!

Awww, I'm so sorry about your little furbabies, Aljdewey. I can just imagine some people's reactions. I think it's called "disenfranchised grief", where people assign a level of importance to your grief, as if they're qualified to do that. Elderly parents come in for the same opinions ("oh, they were old") and people who have miscarriages ("oh, you can always have another one.") The world is full of people who want to categorize your grief according to how important THEY think it is. Take no notice - your adorable little ones had their own special, unique personalities and they will always be with you. Perhaps in time you'll be able to take comfort in the memories of how loving they were, if you're not quite there yet.

I don't have an animal. I'm not sure I could bear it when such a loyal companion died.

Not everyone thinks yours is an unimportant loss. xxx

 

[Jambalaya]

My memory. I had a clot that lodged in an artery in my eye when I was pregnant in 2014, it was considered a stroke and I lost the central vision in my left eye. The vision loss I don't notice most of the time. However my memory and cognitive functions took a hit. Sometimes I can't remember my kids middle names, I get lost driving, can't pay with cash because I always give them the wrong amount and sometimes while driving if I'm at a light I question whether I'm on the right side of the road (I always am).

I went to a funeral recently and someone mentioned a conversation we had at Christmas. Couldn't remember even talking to him, I had to confirm with my husband. Nobody at Yale told me this could happen so it caught me off guard and it's exhausting in a daily basis.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you, Stephanie. It must be very hard. xxx I hope you're nice to yourself and that you pamper yourself when you can, to cushion the stress a little.

 

[missy]

If I could change one thing, I'd have my late husband not develop leukemia. He'd have had 20 years without serious health issues and would still be alive.

If it has to be something about me, I'd go back to my college weight. Oh, to be 5'8" and 117 lbs. again!

(((HUGS))) and love to you dear Rainwood.

 

[missy]

Nothing on an individual basis, but if I could have changed one thing in world history, I would have stopped the Holocaust from happening.

That is a wonderful wish Madam Bijoux.

For my DH to earn a higher income.

Hoping it happens for you guys Laila.

I'd want my dog and 2 cats back. We lost them all within 11 months' time, and our house hasn't been the same since the final one left us nearly 2 years ago.

Trouble is, I don't want new animals. I want those ones.

Hugs to you. I'm so sorry.

House Cat and Missy, thank you SO much for your kindness. I'm used to people not quite getting why they were such a big deal to me because they were 'just animals', but to me, they were so much more. They were our family, and it's comforting when it's acknowledged that the loss is still profound to us.

Thank you....most sincerely!

Alj, I am so sorry there are people who don't get it. Our animals *are* our family. Just as much as the human members.

 

[CJ2008]

I'd want my dog and 2 cats back. We lost them all within 11 months' time, and our house hasn't been the same since the final one left us nearly 2 years ago.

Trouble is, I don't want new animals. I want those ones.

"Just animals"?

No such thing. Those people will never understand...

 

[mary poppins]

Get rid of my two autoimmune diseases which are interfering with my life.

If the change could be retroactive, I would make it to not getting them in the first place.

I ditto this. If I could change one thing it would be to get rid of my autoimmune diseases. They really can make life challenging. I am sorry you are dealing with similar health issues.

I third this. Same here.

Sorry to hear you are both also dealing with autoimmune diseases. Unfortunately, once you get one you are susceptible to getting more. Though we can't wish away what we already have, we can hope none of us get any more. I wish you both the best.

 

[dragonfly411]

This is going to sound horrible, and selfish.

I would have met my soul mate sooner, and realized it sooner. I love my husband, and stand by the vows I took. But I know now in an irrevocable way, who my soul mate was supposed to be. There's a saying.

"One day, whether you are 14, 28 or 65, you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find - is that they are not always with whom we spend our lives."

 

[missy]

Dragonfly, thanks for sharing and for being so honest. I love that quote you posted. (((Hugs))).

Thanks Mary Poppins. Wishing you and all PSers the very best too.

 

[alongcat]

Because we are all healthy, my first instinct was also to post 'a life free from money worries' or at least have enough to be able to buy a house. Having read others' replies has made me thankful I currently don't have bigger troubles - though I am entirely aware that it won't stay that way forever - at any time any one of those I love most - or me - could be struck down by a bus, get notice of cancer etc, and worst of all, unless there is a twist of fate, my mum will die many many years before me. This obsessive thought has been the bane of my life since before my teens. I genuinely don't know how I will be able to cope emotionally when that day comes. And it is a different fear from that of losing your child (that fear never goes either) because there is a very high level of certainty that you will lose your mother.

I have to remind myself every day how incredibly lucky I am in life. All of us who are on this forum - and indeed can afford a diamond - are financially in the top of the luckiest people on Earth.

If I could change one thing it would probably be to have taken advantage of the opportunities I had to have a career when I was younger, instead of spending all my time and money on a crazy hedonistic lifestyle. It was fun, but I am well aware I could have made it very far and thus be in a position to give my (born years later) daughter better opportunities, and myself more stability. It's so easy to look back and see your mistakes... So when I wish for a better life financially, it isn't what I don't have that bothers me, it's what I know I could have had and achieved had I only made the effort. I was, esssentially, the Lazy Mouse in the fairytale, and I am very aware of that. When you are younger, you don't realise how the door of opportunity will slam in your face as you get older. My OH works very very hard and never complains but unless there is a miracle we are never going to have a lot of money. And apart from my e ring I don't really want expensive things, I don't care about owning stuff, he even less so, but I would have liked to be able to provide more for my daughter, and also to be able to travel the world, and give my OH the chance to take it easier at work (he might not though because he is a bit of a workaholic )