If your in-laws criticize your spouse, how do you react?

[Kaleigh]

Date: 7/29/2009 11:53:27 PM
Author: Allison D.

Date: 7/29/2009 2:31:59 PM
Author: Circe


Obviously, you can''t tell your MIL to put a sock in it, however tempting it might be, but I''d definitely keep standing up for him in the heat of the moment, even if I quietly encouraged him to have a salad later on while we were at home together.

Sure you can....if it crosses a line.

Hub''s family came to our house for a holiday dinner a few years ago. MIL was miffed that she tried to phone during the trip and my hub didn''t pick up the phone.

She made a point of complaining about it during dinner that she can *never* reach him when she calls, and she wouldn''t let it go. I smiled, looked directly at her and said ''he couldn''t pick up because he was in the shower''. Not satisfied to let it go, she then proclaimed ''oh, but that''s why I always call you because I know YOU''LL pick up'', perhaps thinking that I''d actually bask in the approval and turn on my husband.

Without hesitation, I looked very pointedly at her and said ''I''m sorry, but if you call when I''m in the shower, you wouldn''t reach me then either.''

She caught the challenge, thought about it, and put a lid on it from that point forward.

Love that!!!

 

[QueenB29]

Date: 7/29/2009 3:08:07 PM
Author: zhuzhu
I am very protective of the ones I love. If it is someone outside the family I will prob say something not so nice like ''what about yourself with XXXXXX?''. With MIL or another family member whom I don''t want to be enemy with, I would just immediately say ''but he is wonderful with this and that'', or change the subject not so subtly so they get the idea that I really don''t appreciate people criticizing my husband.

I agree with this. My MIL has a habit of criticizing everyone, but usually behind their backs. This includes her daughter, SIL, husband, best friend, and I KNOW she talks about me this way when I''m not there. A car ride with her is exhausting, literally one complaint after another the entire way. It also is very difficult to know how to respond; except for criticisms of my DH, I tend to smile and nod and be like ''Oh really?'' ''Is that so?'' ''I can''t believe that!'' I wouldn''t dare agree with her, but defending that person would make life extremely unpleasant for me.

She''s pretty much stopped criticizing DH to me, but when she does I try to offer an example that disproves her and change the subject. If i actually agree with her, I''ll be like ''Yes, but....'' and then make a joke or change the subject. I think there was only one time when I had to say to her face. ''No, please don''t ever suggest that,'' or something like that. And she actually did stop.

Fiery--That''s a really awful way for someone to treat their child. I could understand her saying something when it''s just him or you if she''s concerned about his health, but all the time and in front of 40 people? I would have been very tempted to get up and leave that dinner.

 

[QueenB29]

Or if you''re planning on having another child and she does the same thing again, you could always start screaming at her and throwing things, and blame it all on labor and postpartum hormones. A coworker of mine actually did this.