Ignored by photographer?

[E B]

I'm so frustrated!

Several months ago, I fell in love with a photographer. I was in contact with her for quite a while, but even with several adjustments to her packages, she was out of my price range. Her associate photographer wasn't, so I contacted her and we emailed back and forth. She was always pretty prompt when it came to responding, and around two months ago, we received a package in the mail full of information and her contract.

A couple of weeks later, I email her and let her know that we've changed our date, but we're still interested in having her as our photographer. A month goes by, and I get no reply. I emailed her again a little over a week ago telling her that we're still interested, and if she would, email me as soon as possible. Nothing. I emailed both her AND the head photographer again last night, asking them to please email me whenever they received the email letting me know I wasn't ending up in the spam box, and today, at almost 5:00pm where they are, nothing. Their server isn't down, because I received an "automatic response" from the head photographer last night.

I'm too embarrassed to call because, well, what if they're actually ignoring me? I'm also kind of peeved, and I'm afraid that'd come across on the phone. If I didn't love their style so much, I'd walk away.

What should I do?

 

[JCJD]

EBree hon, why in the world should you be embarrassed to pick up the phone and call a business that is ignoring your email requests to essentially give them your money? Pick up the phone now! Worst case scenario, they''re rude to you on the phone too, which should tell you how they will treat their brides on their wedding days...

 

[codex57]

Call them. Maybe they''re busy? Maybe they changed servers and the e-mail got lost in never-never land (happened with me and my firm)?

If you call them, it cuts out any weird computer glitch problems as a cause. Forget them not responding to your e-mails. You don''t know why they didn''t respond. Just call them and treat that first call as your first attempt to talk to them. Don''t overanalyze any of it. Just call.

 

[dani13]

I don't know EBree, that sounds fishy. Why would they be ignoring you? I guess I would call to find out what was going on. If they do not give you an explanation that you can accept, then move on...If they say something like they were busy or whatever, then I would still say find someone else.

There were a number of photographers my FI and I liked, but I have a very low threshold for people that do not respond back to me in a timely manner. And I dont think I am being dramatic. Responding in a timely and professional manner is very important. Imagine if you book with them, and you need something- is it going to take them a week to call you back and do what they need to do for you? My FI and I actually eliminated many vendors for not being timely. There was one photographer I also fell in love with, but everytime I emailed him for casual questions, it would take him 3-5 days to respond, and we are talking about simple questions!!! Imagine how it would be if we booked and we wanted our pictures, albums, etc.!!??? To me it is just irresponsible and unprofessional...

Like I said, if these people dont have a good excuse, I would definitely find someone else- there are so many great people out there, you will surely find someone else who you love who won't be aggravating you with this kind of stuff.

Good luck!

 

[Gypsy]

Ebree, honey... CALL! No need to be embarassed. You NEED this cleared up. I would definitely call.

 

[E B]

I know, I''m a chicken. I''ll call tomorrow. I just hate confrontation, and I''m afraid that''s what this''ll be. It''s probably nothing, but still...what''s up with just not answering emails?

Fingers crossed. I love this photographer.

 

[Gypsy]

My fingers are crossed for you to... which is making typing interesting.

I know you don''t like confrontation-- it''s come up before. But when your dealing with these vendors, you have to stay on top of them... or bad things happen. I agree with Dani about the communication thing. I won''t consider a venue that hasn''t given me top quality service. It just won''t happen. Communication is too important-- especially when, like me, you are planning long distance.

 

[E B]

Date: 8/29/2006 8:49:46 PM
Author: Gypsy
My fingers are crossed for you to... which is making typing interesting.


I know you don't like confrontation-- it's come up before. But when your dealing with these vendors, you have to stay on top of them... or bad things happen. I agree with Dani about the communication thing. I won't consider a venue that hasn't given me top quality service. It just won't happen. Communication is too important-- especially when, like me, you are planning long distance.

You and Dani are absolutely right. I'll call tomorrow and if I get a bad feeling, well, back to the drawing board. Ah, my first long distance snag.

 

[Gypsy]

Unfortunately, it''s gonna happen. But I''m becoming a firm believer in "these things happen for a reason, and something better will come up."

 

[flopkins]

well it''s high season for weddings right now, maybe she''s just busy. but if you don''t get immediate results from a phone call I would start looking elsewhere immediately.

 

[lovelylulu]

I would definately call. I know that the florist we used much preferred it if we contacted each other by phone rather than by email...

good luck!

 

[larussel03]

This happened to me with a florist, who seemed incredible but did not return my emails or calls in a timely fashion at all (if she returned them it was at least a week later). I just decided to find someone else...her work is great, but it's not like someone else can't do the job just as well. I emailed her and told her that I would have liked to have hired her but because she's so hard to get ahold of I cannot because while I am not a high maintenance bride, I do need her to return my calls within a couple days to feel as though she is listening to me. She didn't respond, so hopefully she'll be better with future clients.

I'd call her, but if you still feel as though you are being ignored later, or get a wierd vibe from her, find someone else. You need to be able to know that you can rely on them and if you feel ignored, they may just add more stress to your wedding day.

 

[E B]

Ugh.

So yesterday, being childish, I created another email account and emailed her from it claiming to be a new customer. This morning, my alter-ego got an email, and guess what? No reply for me!

Should I still call?

 

[decodelighted]

I hate to say it but maybe they''re "holding out" for a more profitable job that weekend?? And dragging their feet with you as long as they can before committing?

Hope that''s not the case!

 

[Mara]

girl, just pick up the phone and call. it''s not confrontation, it''s asking hey what is the deal, do you want the job or not? cuz if you don''t, tell me so that i don''t hang around waiting for you.

that''s just you asking what the deal is. it''s disrespectful for them to keep you on the line like this. honestly i would probably have moved on after the first few weeks of not hearing anything because i just don''t have the patience for drama like this, what if they don''t show up or something at the wedding the day of? nightmare i wouldn''t want.

in any case, doing the email thing and then reading all sorts of things into it IS a total waste of time. for the time it took you to post this, the time it took to create a new email address etc etc you could have just called and said hey call me and tell me what the deal is or i''m moving on, thanks.

 

[E B]

Date: 8/30/2006 1:36:06 PM
Author: Mara
girl, just pick up the phone and call. it''s not confrontation, it''s asking hey what is the deal, do you want the job or not? cuz if you don''t, tell me so that i don''t hang around waiting for you.

I honestly can''t now. If they had the time to email my fake persona, they had time to drop me a line.

I''m walking away, but not without sending them one last email.

 

[FireGoddess]

Absolutely Ebree, just call. Just say LOOK, I need an answer from you, because I am planning a WEDDING from long distance and it''s NOT the easiest thing in the world! Could you please let me know one way or the other what is going on? Maybe she is holding out for a more profitable wedding that weekend, I don''t know. But if that''s the kind of vendor she is, she''s NOT reliable enough to keep your business! There are other photographers in the sea. I love to use the phone. It conveys all my emotion, and frustration, directly and clearly. And it''s harder to ignore a ringing phone than a silent email.

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 8/30/2006 1:48:23 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 8/30/2006 1:36:06 PM
Author: Mara
girl, just pick up the phone and call. it''s not confrontation, it''s asking hey what is the deal, do you want the job or not? cuz if you don''t, tell me so that i don''t hang around waiting for you.

I honestly can''t now. If they had the time to email my fake persona, they had time to drop me a line.

I''m walking away, but not without sending them one last email.

As long as your mind is made up. You should also tell them you don''t appreciate being strung along when YOU are going to be PAYing for their service. If they don''t want your business, they are STILL obligated to tell you so. Good luck! (But I''d still call.

)

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/30/2006 1:48:25 PM
it''s harder to ignore a ringing phone than a silent email.

SO TRUE. Sometimes you have to fight for what you want!

 

[aljdewey]

If they do not give you an explanation that you can accept, then move on...If they say something like they were busy or whatever, then I would still say find someone else.

There were a number of photographers my FI and I liked, but I have a very low threshold for people that do not respond back to me in a timely manner.

I guess I''m on the other side of this, becuase I have a very low threshold for people who can''t pick up a phone.

I know email''s great and all.....but the truth is, it''s fallible. If someone didn''t get back to me via email, I''d more likely assume they didn''t get the email then I would assume they were ignoring me.

 

[E B]

Date: 8/30/2006 2:08:15 PM
Author: aljdewey

I guess I''m on the other side of this, becuase I have a very low threshold for people who can''t pick up a phone.


I know email''s great and all.....but the truth is, it''s fallible. If someone didn''t get back to me via email, I''d more likely assume they didn''t get the email then I would assume they were ignoring me.

I''m having FH call (I''m taking it a little too personally, so he''ll be better to talk to). We''ll see what they say.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 8/30/2006 1:29:00 PM
Author: EBree
Ugh.

So yesterday, being childish, I created another email account and emailed her from it claiming to be a new customer. This morning, my alter-ego got an email, and guess what? No reply for me!

Should I still call?

Honestly, I hate to be blunt about it......but no. Don''t call them.

It appears you are unwilling to communicate in any way other than email, and that apparently doesn''t work for this vendor, so it''s not a good fit. Maybe that''s why she''s not getting back to you; she realizes the communication style isn''t going to work.

I think it''s a shame, honestly. I truly cannot understand how it makes sense to let being afraid of the telephone cost you an opportunity to work with a vendor you love, but it''s your call.

 

[Gypsy]

Honey, I had contacted this great florist who has a business liscence but works off from her farm instead of a shop. Well I emailed her Saturday... didn''t hear anything... thought I might have offended her b/c I had suggested that to keep costs down I come and help her do my wedding flowers especially as she knows the reputation of the place I worked in DC and I have training ... .her internet connection was fried in a storm and the company hasn''t been able to get her up and running again. And as we had only been emailing she didn''t have my phone number. I didn''t know any of this and was feeling paranoid. Anyway... she''s doing my flowers now, all of them. I''m going in on the Thursday before my wedding to work with her. And she''s only charging me for the cost of the flowers.

My point is, talk to them. Sure they could just be idiots, but there could be something genuinely wrong. FH or you. It doesn''t matter. Good luck honey.

 

[E B]

Date: 8/30/2006 2:17:12 PM
Author: aljdewey

Honestly, I hate to be blunt about it......but no. Don''t call them.


It appears you are unwilling to communicate in any way other than email, and that apparently doesn''t work for this vendor, so it''s not a good fit. Maybe that''s why she''s not getting back to you; she realizes the communication style isn''t going to work.


I think it''s a shame, honestly. I truly cannot understand how it makes sense to let being afraid of the telephone cost you an opportunity to work with a vendor you love, but it''s your call.

That''s awfully presumptuous of you, alj. We communicated through email many times, and they never had a problem with getting back to me. If they hated emailing so much, they could have sent me just one more saying, "please call and we''ll discuss this over the phone". It would have taken 15 seconds. Ignoring my emails and expecting that I''ll take that as a sign to call is ridiculous. Only one of the vendors I''ve been working with so far has let me know that she hates email, and we''ve done nothing but phone eachother since.

 

[FireGoddess]

The other thing to remember here is that the florist WAS able to email Ebree (not knowing it was her) under a different email address immediately...so this does seem to indicate that their email is just fine, and they're specifically not getting back to HER. Which is why I'd honestly call if it were me.

It tends to diffuse the paranoia and self doubt in my experience.

ETA: This could be one of those things where the answer to your question Ebree is more difficult to answer than from a new client? Maybe they have something already booked on your new date and they're trying to sort things out? I know sometimes I respond to newer emails first if they answer is cut and dry. Just a thought?

 

[E B]

Date: 8/30/2006 2:34:15 PM
Author: FireGoddess
The other thing to remember here is that the florist WAS able to email Ebree (not knowing it was her) under a different email address immediately...so this does seem to indicate that their email is just fine, and they''re specifically not getting back to HER. Which is why I''d honestly call if it were me.

It tends to diffuse the paranoia and self doubt in my experience.

Oh, their email service is just fine. FH is calling on his lunch break, so we should know something soon.

 

[aljdewey]

ate: 8/30/2006 2:25:04 PM
Author: EBree


That''s awfully presumptuous of you, alj. We communicated through email many times, and they never had a problem with getting back to me. If they hated emailing so much, they could have sent me just one more saying, ''please call and we''ll discuss this over the phone''. It would have taken 15 seconds. Ignoring my emails and expecting that I''ll take that as a sign to call is ridiculous. Only one of the vendors I''ve been working with so far has let me know that she hates email, and we''ve done nothing but phone eachother since.

I''m sorry, Ebree, but I seriously don''t see how it''s any more presumptuous than what you''re doing. You''re *assuming* they got your emails. My husband works in IT, so I can assure you there are many things that can happen that prevents email from getting through.

You say you''ve communicated "many times through email, and they never had a problem" getting back to you. So, they''ve always been prompt, and despite that track record with you, that doesn''t earn them the benefit of the doubt of a phone call? If you don''t have enough faith in your vendor to pick up a phone, then it''s not a good fit, whatever the reason. Sorry, that''s just my opinion.

Just because you''ve always worked with them via email doesn''t mean you shouldn''t be able to pick up a phone if you think there''s an issue. Email is NOT infallible, and it amazes me that people don''t seem to give that consideration.

 

[E B]

Date: 8/30/2006 2:38:20 PM
Author: aljdewey

I'm sorry, Ebree, but I seriously don't see how it's any more presumptuous than what you're doing. You're *assuming* they got your emails. My husband works in IT, so I can assure you there are many things that can happen that prevents email from getting through.

No, they never had a problem getting back to me until they upped their rates considerably! The reason I became paranoid is because someone on The Knot told me that she was in this exact same situation. She was quoted a certain price, emailed them after they upped their rates (unknowingly), and was ignored. Finally, when she called, they told her that her date, on a Friday night over a year away, was taken. Please. They just didn't want her business because she wasn't paying what they wanted, even though she was willing to pay what they originally quoted. Her situation sounds eerily familiar.

I'm the paying customer, and I don't think it's too much to ask that they send me one email letting me know that they'd rather discuss our situation over the phone, if that is, indeed, their problem. And it's obvious that they're not having email problems...they're just "not receiving" mine.

I admit, I haven't handled this situation with as much grace as I could have, but, what's done is done. FH is calling and we'll know something soon.

 

[lovelylulu]

it sounds like you should also be looking for a new photographer.


you''ll find a vendor that works!

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 8/30/2006 2:34:15 PM
Author: FireGoddess
The other thing to remember here is that the florist WAS able to email Ebree (not knowing it was her) under a different email address immediately...so this does seem to indicate that their email is just fine, and they''re specifically not getting back to HER. Which is why I''d honestly call if it were me.

It tends to diffuse the paranoia and self doubt in my experience.

Actually, that''s not necessarily what it means at all. It could mean that, but it could be something else.

My company uses an outside provider to filter emails......sort of like a firewall service. While all of my email was getting through just fine, for some reason, emails from my mother were not. I was getting emails from all my friends, but the system was snagging my mom''s emails and trashing them to the spam bucket. It had mistakenly identified her IP address as a spammer.

It happens ALL the time - way more often than I''m sure most people realize.

Bottom line....it''s possible that she''s ignoring EBree, and it''s also *possible* that she''s not getting the emails. If it ere me, I''d hate to let personal insecurities stand in the way of getting what I really wanted. I just don''t understand the fear.....? Fear of what? The worst thing that can happen is the photographer says "no, I don''t want to work with you." Big deal....if you assume it, then the answer is *no* anyway, so there''s nothing to lose in making a phone call.