I'm frightened and MADD

[qubitasaurus]

We lost a beautiful, young and vibrant PS mother of three to impairment, along with 2 beautiful children and a beloved husband. It's frightening to be on the roads and know that people are driving under the influence of drugs, alcohol and whatever else can impair you, such as extreme emotional distress or other factors I may not realize.

I'm sorry to say the accident was very likely due to her husband being legally intoxicated missy. Later reports show he was over the legal BAC when a stop sign was run.

The consequence of his decision to drink and drive was very dear indeed.

I am afraid the only reasonable way to read these statements is

1) The husband was legally intoxicated and this caused impairment.

2) The husband's decision to drink and drive, caused the accident which killed the the rest of the boy's family.

It is far from clear whether all these statements are true or whether some of them are false. Certainly we can not verify (2), the newspaper can not verify (2). If the newspaper has written (2) somewhere explicitly then that is really unfortunate as that is a huge leap to make.

What we are writing will likely be upsetting for the boy to read. It is basically blaming the events where he becomes an orphan on his father. I would deeply like to make sure this doesn't happen.

There also a small chance her other family members may read some of this, there's a small chance they might be here now.

Unfortunately a large number of posts to this thread contain snippets of this kind of information and opinions (including now this one). And I cant see how to successfully remove it all.

A thread on impaired driving may be good for everyone -- but a fresh one which contains no mention of this incident where people can share their own stories from their own lives.

@HS4S_2 wow I am sorry that happened to you, it would have been super upsetting.

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[Matata]

What we are writing will likely be upsetting for the boy to read. It is basically blaming the events where he becomes an orphan on his father. I would deeply like to make sure this doesn't happen.

He's two years old. There are a lot of things that would have to happen for him to read these comments when he's old enough to read such as anyone in his family remembering/knowing she was a member here or that this place is important enough to them to remember in future; someone in the family would have to know the title of this thread. His family will tell him what he needs to know when he's old enough to know it and there will come a time when he will be able to access media coverage should he decide to do so. He'll read the facts as they're known and come to his own conclusions.

There also a small chance her other family members may read some of this, there's a small chance they might be here now.

They already know the facts. I think it's reasonable to assume that what they are facing/have faced within their community and among themselves is much more intense than what appears here.

Unfortunately a large number of posts to this thread contain snippets of this kind of information and opinions (including now this one). And I cant see how to successfully remove it all.

The accident happened to a PSer. It would be unnatural if it didn't contain information about the case. It is natural for people to be angry and frustrated, engage in supposition and seek someone or something to blame based on media coverage as those are means people may use to cope with strong emotions. We are a community, sometimes messy but nearly always compassionate when hard times fall upon others here and since there is no private section or private messaging available, the only way these discussions can happen is in public.

 

[Roselina]

I initially misunderstood the message and thought it implied that the other driver was at fault. However, it's not our place to draw conclusions or assign blame based on the circumstances. There will be an official investigation, and we should leave that responsibility to the appropriate authorities. In my opinion, it's not appropriate to discuss drunk driving in this context. We don't know the actual cause of this terrible accident, and it's certainly not our place to draw conclusions from media reports. This issue can be debated in a different context, but not in relation to this specific case. I apologise if my directness offends anyone.

 

[qubitasaurus]

The accident happened to a PSer. It would be unnatural if it didn't contain information about the case. It is natural for people to be angry and frustrated, engage in supposition and seek someone or something to blame based on media coverage as those are means people may use to cope with strong emotions. We are a community, sometimes messy but nearly always compassionate when hard times fall upon others here and since there is no private section or private messaging available, the only way these discussions can happen is in public.

This argument is actually expected utility theory. Where we look at the positive and negative consequences of the choice and weight them by their probability of occuring.

The choice is to make a thread who's opening sentences essentially attributes loss of a PSer to a drunk driving family member and to discuss it collectively. The negative consequences (to child and family) are weighted by low-ish probabilities of occurring. The positive consequence (to us) are weighted by high probability.

The trouble is I can not see a positive. We are clearly speculating, and can only spread misinformation this way. It doesn't reflect positively on us.

The negatives only have small probability, but they aren't great. They're also really going to impact people that have already lost a lot.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

That is terribly sad, very sorry for your loss. I think we have so many unhappy people in our society who self medicate with alcohol and or drugs. It's only gotten worse IMHO since the popularity of social media.

 

[Calliecake]

Please know my opinion is not meant to offend anyone here on PS.

Lex’s loved ones have already been subjected to horrific pain and loss that will forever change their lives. This thread has the potential to cause her loved ones more pain. Her posts on Pricescope always radiated kindness. Her family deserves that in return.

Continuing this thread with her family being mentioned feels wrong to me.

The subject matter of this thread can and should be discussed at a later date without involving this family in any way. It’s an important topic.