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I''m getting married in less than 3 weeks and really, really want a different wedding dress!

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Date: 7/14/2009 9:19:26 AM
Author: meresal
The fact of the matter is, you can''t afford another dress, so you need to figure out a way to make YOU feel comfortable.

Here''s my opinion, switch the flowers from green hydrangea to white, like in the pictures, or do half the tables green and half white. It will instantly make your reception feel more formal.
Your florist shouldn''t be ordering the flowers for another week or two so the change should be doable, if you are open to changing some things around.

By the way, your dress is gorgeous and it looks stunning on you. Would you share what your groom is wearing? That could make ALOT of the difference as well. You will be next to him all night, so if he is dressed equally as formal then you will look fine.
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I think these are great suggestions too. The white would be a subtle way to bring a little more formality in.
 
luvthemstrawberries: That was pretty funny! Well done!
 
the dress is beautiful - you picked the dress for a reason and your entitled to look fab and wear anything on your day. you do not have to "fit in" with your decor because your the main "attraction" in this big event!

on a different note... i just have to say this... i find the edited picture funny (in a nice kind of way)
 
Date: 7/14/2009 9:50:02 AM
Author: Lanie
luvthemstrawberries: That was pretty funny! Well done!
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Haha thanks - 2-minute photoshop job. I'm not very good at this stuff.

I just want MommaC to have a visual - I needed it too. In all seriousness, I think the dress would look great. I can picture people mingling around in that room, with Momma C right in the middle of it in that dress. Or if tables are going to be there, it'd help even more. I think the venue could take any kind of attire you want. Plus once more people are in there, it's not like there'd be any sort of direct relation between the venue decor and the dress. But I just wanted to show that the dress looks very pretty in there, especially with the dress color - I love it.
 
I LOVE your dress and I LOVE you in it!!! I think the suggestion to change your flowers is a good one. It will add formality to the event. You aren''t overdressed for your venue. The high ceilings scream formal!

Please don''t dye your crinoline black! Your gown isn''t meant for that kind look. It will end up looking very gothic. Unless gothic is your style, then go for it.
 
I think it looks lovely!

Every now and then I look at my dress and think I must be crazy to wear it for the wedding, so I just try not to think about it
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I''m new so I hope it''s ok to chime in. I think your dress is beautiful and I think it looks perfect on you! I don''t think the bride ever needs to worry about being too formal. As for the modern thing...I like that it juxtaposes the space a bit. It makes you stand out (in a good way!!). And, i also think that the venue and bridesmaids dresses are more formal than you are seeing them. I think that maybe some of your concern could be coming from the fact that you probably don''t wear a ball gown everyday :0) This is probably the fanciest dress you''ve ever worn so maybe it''s just a matter of getting yourself to realize that this is YOUR day and you should be in the most formal gown. When will you ever have an opportunity to do that again?

Honestly, you look beautiful...the space is beautiful...the cake is beautiful..the BM''s dresses are beautiful. I think you are all set!
 
Let''s take a step back here...is there really ANY situation where a wedding dress "fits in"? It''s a wedding dress! They''re supposed to be over the top (unless you''re at some crazy fancy masquerade ball or something). That''s the fun thing about being the bride, so I say embrace your GORGEOUS dress, that you look STUNNING in and try to enjoy the next three weeks. You''re getting married!!!

ETA: nobody is going to look at you and think you stick out because your dress is too "formal". Promise. Pinky swear.
 
you look stunning in your dress! and my dress will (most likely) be a full lace dress, at a back yard BBQ reception. So trust me, i know what it is to really not fit the theme :P
from all of your accrutiments you have with your wedding, you will look spot on with your wedding!
 
Date: 7/14/2009 12:30:56 PM
Author: ms.halo
Let''s take a step back here...is there really ANY situation where a wedding dress ''fits in''? It''s a wedding dress! They''re supposed to be over the top (unless you''re at some crazy fancy masquerade ball or something). That''s the fun thing about being the bride, so I say embrace your GORGEOUS dress, that you look STUNNING in and try to enjoy the next three weeks. You''re getting married!!!


ETA: nobody is going to look at you and think you stick out because your dress is too ''formal''. Promise. Pinky swear.
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I agree 100%. I picked my dress before the venue (a satin ballgown) and at the time we planned on having a church wedding probably with a reception in a ballroom at a hotel. Wellllll..we ended up choosing a garden wedding with the reception in two semi-formal rooms (not sure how to describe them..not ballroom, but still a bit formal). So I was terrified my satin dress would not work in a garden, I convinced myself that I needed a lace gown for a garden wedding. Well, I got over it...and my dress looked gorgeous. Moral of the story: I think your dress will look beautiful in the venue and PLEASE do not dye the petticoat black! Now if you are having problems fundamentally with the dress itself still (e.g. if you don''t like the pick-ups anymore) then I think you have some other options here that would work. Another option: Maybe wear your dress for the ceremony and wear one of the other options posted here for the reception?
 
That is a STUNNINGLY beautiful dress. It looks like it was designed for you. Wow.

I think you might be letting your mother''s (pretty irrational, IMO) dislike of the dress get to you. It looks just fine with your setting and not at all out of place. What''s most important is how it makes YOU look - the venue isn''t wearing it after all.

Have another look at the picture you posted, objectively, and tell me you don''t look awesome.
 
OMG you look great in your dress and I think there will be no problem with the mix of the modern of the venue and the classic beauty of your dress. luvthemstrawberries showed it to you well! It looks great. Plus I love the idea of adding in some ivory, to match your dress, and bump up for the formality. Dont worry it will all be stunning!
 
I think your dress is stunning and you look amazing in it
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what you are experiencing is normal. I went through the same thing. It is just nerves.

THAT DRESS LOOKS AMAZING ON YOU! YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!! (and are supposed to be the center of attn after all!
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) Plus your dress goes really well with your bridesmaid''s dress!
 
Don''t usually post over here (more of a LIW-gal), but, oh-my-goodness I can''t imagine a dress better suited for you! You look absolutely radiant in it and unless your groom is planning to wear shorts and a tee, your wedding is going to be incredible. You are going to blow all your guests away! In fact, I''m going to be coming back here searching for your picture post, so please, please, please, love your dress again! It''s stunning. But more importantly, you look amazing in it! You''re going to rock it!
 
You look great in the dress, but I can sympathize with you because I''ve been there. I prefer simpler styles, but I bought a fancier/poofier dress that really wasn''t "me" at my mom''s insistence. All it took was a simple alteration (adding a halter strap to a strapless dress) to make me feel so much more comfortable and more like myself in the dress. Could you take it to a seamstress who can do last-minute alterations? Maybe consider getting some of the pickups let out? Or taking out some of the built-in crinoline so it''s less poofy? Another option would be to buy an inexpensive second dress to change into for the reception...like $150-200 or so. Whatever you choose to do, you''ll look gorgeous!
 

I am constantly reminded why I love PS so much. You are all so sweet and I just wanted to thank you all for your reassurance and ideas!


If I forgot anyone I''m sorry, I''m writing this in notepad in the hopes that I address all of you!


cammy85, cocolaw, Thomperchik, Anastasia, Lilac, luvthemstrawberries, cleokizzy, MakingTheGrade, marlie (welcome!), ms.halo, jcarlylew, SarahLovesJS (I''m dying the petticoat to match my dress now!), LilyKat, rhbgirl24, diamondrnglover, thl, Still_Waiting - Thank you so much for your kind words, compliments and ideas!


KatyWI - If I can revert you to like the pick ups on my dress than maybe the dress isn''t so bad after all .. I really appreciate your help! I''m glad you like my cake choice, it took me forever to decide on a design!


cocolaw - I''m not decided on jewelry yet. I was thinking simple, understated crystal jewelry but I''m not sure if I should do the clear crystals or use a champagne color for my complextion and dress. What do you think?


Lanie - Okay, after I said that I was debating on dying my petticoat black I thought about and realized that was a horrible idea! I am going to dye it since my dress is very obviously not white with the white petticoat underneath it, but I''m not thinking that I''ll dye it the same color as my dress. I also agree with you about those shoes not matching at all - I noticed that at my first fitting! I bought these green and black shoes for my rehearsal dinner but now I''m debating on wearing them for the wedding instead .. they don''t exactly match my bridesmaid shoes, but they ARE fabulous and are my colors! I''m attaching a picture .. what do you think?!


meresal - Thank you so much on ideas for making everything more formal. Since my dress isn''t white, I worry that white tables and flowers will look strange while everything else is black or green .. is this something I should worry about? I know no one will notice the little details like I do, but it''s getting SO close that I''m a mess over the littlest things! The groom is wearing an all black Calvin Klein tux with a black shirt and a light gold tie to match my dress. The boys ties are from an Etsy seller named Toybreaker and will have a poppy design on them to go with our floral scheme .. I''ll attach a picture right after I post the shoes for Lanie!


Loves Vintage - Thank you! It is a very real possibility that I''m letting my mom''s (and one of my bridesmaids) comments get to me. I know it''s dumb, but opinions really matter to me! BUT .. I have how many wonderful ladies on PS telling me I look wonderful so those numbers trump my mom and bridesmaids!


luvthemstrawberries - That picture is SO funny! I got a really good and much needed laugh over that and it really did help me get an idea of my dress with my venue!


luvbug - I''m glad that you can relate to what I''m feeling and going through! Thank you for your ideas - those dresses are gorgeous! If I don''t get out of this funk I''ll definately have to look in to those!


House Cat - Thank you! I''ve decided to dye the petticoat light gold to match my dress because gothic isn''t my thing!


jstarfireb - I actually preferred the less poofy crinoline but my MOH and a bunch of women standing around kept telling me how much better the poofier one looked with the pick ups so I ended up letting them convince me to use that. I''m going for my final fitting soon and I''m going to keep your suggestions in my mind!


Once again ladies - thank you all!


Here''s a picture of the new shoes I''m debating on for Lanie!




maybeweddingshoes.jpg
 
... and a picture of the boys ties for meresal! The groomsmen will have a limeish green with black flowers and the groom will have a light gold tie with either black or green flowers .. or maybe both!

boysties1.jpg
 
OOOOOOHHHHH, do the green and black shoes!!!! They''re PERFECT!
 
As many have said, the bride can be as dressed up as she wants on the wedding day no matter how informal the rest of the wedding is. But, IMO, your venue looks killer fabulous and not informal at all! I like the flower change idea, and the different shoes you posted are awesome if you can afford them! For comparison, one of my BM just had an afternoon Sunday wedding, buffet style, and everything else was pretty informal. BUT the wedding party was dressed to the nines, in fact, the groom wore tails. Why, because he wanted to and that is what he had always dreamed he would wear. I hope you start feeling a little better as the next 3 weeks pass by. No matter what, your wedding will be gorgeous darling!
 
Your dress is fabulous and not too dressed up for your venue. It will be perfect. I am sure it''s just a little case of pre-wedding jitters. It''s normal to have little freakouts along the way.

Would it help you to go dress shopping again just to put your mind at ease that you chose the right dress? This obviously won''t work if you decide the other way, but it may help to put things into perspective for you?

Good luck sweetie
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Sorry I am chiming in late but your dress in stunning (and I am not just saying that
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) It looks like it was made for you, and I love the pick ups!

For awhile I was thinking that I would want a slinky gown so I didn''t stand out to much and then I realised that this is the only time I will be able to get away with a big, beautiful gown.. so I say embrace your dress!
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I just have to say..

I *heart* those shoes. Bigtime.

I LOVE the black and green. It''s such a wonderful pop of color. But sophisticated nonetheless.
 
Just wanted to pop back in and say I approve of dying it to match!
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Date: 7/14/2009 9:45:27 PM
Author: MommaChristine



luvthemstrawberries - That picture is SO funny! I got a really good and much needed laugh over that and it really did help me get an idea of my dress with my venue!

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No problem at all! It makes my day to know I helped someone else smile.
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And also... those are some yummy shoes!! Where did/will you get them, or who are they made by? I would definitely wear them with something, no matter what you decide!! I do think they'd be great with the dress, as long as you are ok with having a lot going on in your outfit. I know they won't always be showing, but when they do, it'd be a lot going on with such a gorgeous dress already. Just a thought to be aware of.
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fab shoes!! so glad you aren''t dying the petticoat black! and i agree with meresal...white flowers will def make it more formal and it will absolutely go with green and black.

for jewelry, i think a crystal/pearl combo would be dynamite! if i were you, i would probably only do earrings and leave your neck bare(but take that with a grain of salt..im a big earrings OR big necklace kind of girl..i normally dont wear a small necklace and small earrings together)

=tags&includes[]=title:2o8h065d]earrings1

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=tags&includes[]=title:2o8h065d]earrings 3
 
OK, you have driven my out of lurkdom, I never comment on dresses, BUT

You look radient and lovely, like a stunning bride. the venue is clean, modern and very majestic with the high ceilings etc, that space requires a DRESS to fill it, not a little casual number, you need to own the space, not let the space overshadow you iywkim. I think you will be brilliant and beautiful.

I dont know your relationship with your mother, but it is a weird thing to say once the dress is bought and a bit indulgent on her part, it is your wedding, your FI and you and you are wearing it, it obviously suits you - so she needs to let go and remember she had her wedding and you are having yours.

At the end of the day the reality is that no matter waht dress, venue, style etc you have some guests will love it, other wonts, and others wont even notice that much, so wear the dress you loved enough to buy, wear what you want, not what your mother wants, it is your day, no point trying to please eveyone because you cant and wont be able to - no one dress will be loved by everyone so you and your FI might as well love it and refelct your style.
good luck, you look great

db
 
I think your dress is beautiful and you look very beautiful in it! I am having second thoughts on my dress. I feel like it doesn''t look flattering on me. I look like i gained 10 lbs
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But, seriously ur dress looks great!
 
Date: 7/14/2009 9:37:11 AM
Author: luvbug
Personally, I think your dress looks great on you and you do look happy in it. It is also extremely flattering to your beautiful figure. And your venue is amazing!!

....But as someone who changed their own dress recently I totally understand how you are feeling and there is no one but you who can decide if you''ll be uncomfortable on your day. My dress actually made me dread my wedding so I knew there had to be a change.

If you have any wiggle room in your budget, there are some really beautiful dresses in the wedding shop at Nordstrom (returnable) that are 200, 300, and 400$$

http://shop.nordstrom.com/C/6005465/0~2376776~2374327~6005464~6005465?origin=leftnav


Like this one is under 200$
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I agree - I hope you''ll feel happy and comfortable on your big day no matter what dress you wear.

Thanks for the link Lovebug - I
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these dresses
 
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