I''m really trying hard not to explode here...

[anchor31]

Date: 9/23/2007 10:03:07 AM
Author: Independent Gal
Oh Summer, I think I have a great solution. How about we introduce your FMIL and my Crazy Aunt. Then we kidnap the two of them, and send them on a romantic vacation via slow steamer ship to South Georgia Island in Antarctica (think: rocks, ice, -30 degrees, howling winds, and penguins) where they can complain to each other about how horrible we are to their hearts content). We can then arrange for the ship to pick them in about 6 months.

It sounds like they would get along so great! Plus, think of the useful survival skills they would learn. Haha. I am a bad girl and am enjoying this image.

I''m so sorry you''re dealing with this though.

Haha, we should add my FI''s mother too... she''s the same as Sumbride''s.

Sumbride, I am so so sorry it''s happening to you. I have nothing new to add after the fabulous advice you got, but I wanted to show you some sympathy. Your FMIL is very possibly jealous of the relationship you have with her son and is having an "stealing her son away from her" thing, especially if she has a lousy marriage, is divorced or widowed. However, that DOES NOT justify making your lives miserable! *hugs*

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I''ve got a shovel and a bag of lime handy, and there''s a whole lotta open space in TX!


Just kidding. I''m so sorry you''re dealing with this now. I think you''ve received some fab advice so all I can do it send good thoughts and wishes your way...

 

[sumbride]

DKS- you're totally right.

She's been through a bitter divorce (though WHY has never really been a question in my mind...) and though it's been about 15 years since then, she's still not "over" it, in that she still spits fire if you mention her ex-husband (which I never do) and she still wants vengeance. She's had screaming arguments with her other sons for daring to go see him (their FATHER) and they are both in their 40s. I mean, come on lady, they were adults when you got divorced! M, however, was still at home when it happened and thus also got entangled in the divorce. He hasn't seen his father since but has, with the wedding, decided he wants to. AFTER the wedding. His mom doesn't know this yet, and we're sure she will blame it on me even though I had no influence in his decision, merely said I would support whatever decision HE made. His father is not invited to the wedding, but he does know about it.

She does have a boyfriend whom she lives with, but they essentially can't stand each other and they have screaming arguments all the time. Though they live about half an hour away, we rarely visit because it's so unpleasant and I always leave with a massive headache. Screaming arguments are a theme with her also. It's like she never progressed past that point in her communication abilities.

I'm sure she feels abandoned, I'm sure she feels alone, but really, she's done most of it to herself. She's driven almost all of her friends away except for the one couple that we invited when she said she wouldn't invite anyone. Her life is truly pathetic. But the pity I feel for her is lost the second she tears into me, or M, or anybody else, about something so meaningless... I didn't post about the arguments concerning the jr. bridesmaid dress and shoes... that went on for MONTHS until she finally gave up when I reiterated that the dress had already been ORDERED. Now we're dealing with the hair-do. and the makeup.

She hasn't had much say in this wedding... I haven't asked and I haven't wanted to. She certainly didn't volunteer to help. She probably won't like most of our ideas, but we really don't care. She spent a month agonizing over the fact that not only would there be no seating chart, but that the point of our reception wasn't to SIT the whole time. I told her I'd reserve her a table, but I'm still debating because I know she won't have a problem finding a seat and I'd rather not mark a whole table reserved just because she wants me to.

What she doesn't realize is she's driving her son away from her with her maniacal rantings. I haven't had to take him away from her... he's running as fast as he can toward someone who loves and supports him. We both think it's possible she may have some untreated mental illness because M swears she wasn't "this bad" before, but I don't know how much of it is her changing and how much of it is perspective now that he's seen families that DON'T act this way.