I''m SO mad (best friend related)

[cbs102]

Date: 9/3/2008 3:36:52 PM
Author: TryingAgain
I don''t want to confront her on her diamond. To me it doesn''t matter. Whether her ring cost $5k or $20k, real or fake, I am happy for her as long as she is happy. I love all jewelry equally and my only real gripe is how she''s try to put down SO when what she has is no better than what I am getting.

And jeweler did call her today about the the email mix-up, but got no answer. She left a message for her to call her.

I know that you did not mean this the way that it sounds..but what is wrong with the ring that you are getting? a 1+ct diamond is awesome and you should be happy. your friend is wrong making you feel that way, but don''t look at your ring as being anything but a wonderful symbol.. i am glad that the jeweler called her. i wonder if your friend will call you and fess up!

 

[GoingCrazy29]

Date: 9/3/2008 3:36:52 PM
Author: TryingAgain
I don''t want to confront her on her diamond. To me it doesn''t matter. Whether her ring cost $5k or $20k, real or fake, I am happy for her as long as she is happy. I love all jewelry equally and my only real gripe is how she''s try to put down SO when what she has is no better than what I am getting.


And jeweler did call her today about the the email mix-up, but got no answer. She left a message for her to call her.

PLEASE keep us updated on if you find out what your "BFF" says once the jeweler speaks with her!! I wonder if she''ll mention it to you or just stop trying to belittle your ring! Either way, I''m glad she''ll know you know and shut up when talking about your ring! I''m sure it will be GORGEOUS

 

[TryingAgain]

CBS - OMG, I totally didn''t mean that there was anything wrong with the ring I am getting. I am 150% in love love love with the man I am with and a 1+ct diamond ring is more than I need or even ever thought I would get.

I''m not 100% if the jeweler was going to even say who she sent it to or just that she did. I really don''t want her to say it''s to me because I can just see BFF going out of her way to tell me some elaborate story/excuse.

S/O is totally over it. He can''t believe she is materialistic enough to lie about it and flaunt it.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Without sounding to suspicious, I feel like half the story is missing and whatever is missing, is HUGE!

I think, either your friend has no idea that her diamonds aren''t "real" or that she is embarassed they aren''t real, and doesn''t want to admit to you or anyone. I can see how the latter would be true. Lots of couples are opting to be debt free over going bankrupt for big bling, with the intention to replace to faux stones with real ones later on when their personal situation gives them the freedom to do so. Its basically the same thing as an upgrade in my opinion.

However, I think the fault lies with the very careless jeweler. Obviously, mistakes happen. However, why she would even be e-mailing apprasials is beyond me...since most insurance companies need a signed copy via fax or mail to authenticate a piece of jewelry. And further more, why she would mistake you for your friend speaks to me of being highly unprofessional. You have different names, and if you''re "friends" like you claim to be...I find it hard to believe that she would mistake you for anyone else. If I were you, I would move along to a jeweler who could prehaps wrap her mind around the word discreet.

 

[Dogmom]

I find it INCREDIBLY suspicious that the jeweler "accidentally" sent your friend''s appraisal to you by mistake.

Honestly, rather than be mad at your friend for making such a fuss over her ring, I would feel badly for her. If she DOESN''T know, can you imagine what a kick in the stomach that would feel like to find out her ring is a fake? And if she DOES know, well, why does she feel she needs to put on such a show. Either way, it is terribly sad.

 

[TryingAgain]

Dogmom - She most definitely knows. I would bet ANY amount of money on it. I know when we began her ring buying process she wanted her custom made (2ct) and she was demanding a 2 carat diamond from her fiance. He kept telling her over and over that he was MUCH more comfortable with the price of 1.5, but she kept pushing. I know of people who have put in a simulated stone until they have money for the one they want. I''ve also seen, from helping in a jewelry store people who pay $8k for a setting and then opt for a CZ just because they feel it isn''t noticeable.

I believe BFF knows about her ring. I love her to death, but she''s all about what she has. It''s all about money. She''s the girl whose like, "Oh, my $2k purse... Oh, my $20k horse... Oh, my two vehicles... I just got my $25k kitchen". People who know us both find it odd that we''re so close. I work hard for EVERYTHING. I''ve had NO HELP in my life. I have nice things, but nothing overly crazy and expensive. I have a nice, but small home... A nice, but small car, etc. That''s just me. BFF and I are night and day. I take it all with a grain of salt.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Well, now I feel confused again...

You said her F felt more comfortable with a diamond in a 1.5 range (which is a large range, depending on the other 3 c''s) but ended up spending less that 3k for a fake? BTW, I''m sure it appraised for more than what he actually went out of pocket.

And clearly, if what you''re claiming is true about her horse, house, car, purse and kitchen, then I find it odd--with all that--they couldn''t afford a real ring? Usually, when people "have money" they actually have money. Maybe your friend is eye ball deep in debt, and maxed herself and him out prior to the ring....I mean, stranger things have happened, right?

Or maybe...her F sees her as being way to materialistic, and wanted to teach her a lesson by passing a faux ring off as real to prove some sort of point? Like "things can be nice without costing a fortune!"

I dunno, this situation (over all) doesn''t sit well with me...there is a great chunk of truth missing...but she''s your BFF not mine.

 

[TryingAgain]

Italiahaircolor - Understandable why you are confused. BFF has a lot of nice stuff. I would say 90% of it was bought for her by her grandmother and father who are wealthy and 10% she''s in debt for. Her fiance owns his own business and makes good money, but he purchased his home at the height of the FL real estate boom and now owes about $200k more on it then it then he could probably sell it for today.

Sitting back with my SO we can see how it all happened. I am sure BFF threw a fit about how she wanted 2ct and not 1.5ct. I am sure her fiance actually put his foot down in his own way which would be, "2 ct some day, but not today." And I can see her deciding to get a simulated stone just to have the look of a 2ct even though she didn''t have the budget to support it. She swore the setting didn''t look as good with 1.5ct as it did with 2ct to me one day. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In truth her ring isn''t my style what-so-ever so it looked the same to me with either size.

The only thing that boggles my mind is why not be honest to the people you consider your closest friends? Especially me... I would have NEVER judged or told a soul, not even here on PS, if she had told me the truth. It''s not my business. It just very much hurts my feelings that she can''t trust me with something like that and moreso bothers me that she''s got the gull to talk down SO. My boyfriend works very hard for everything and literally comes from a family who has nothing and I don''t see why he can be judged and especially put on a pedestal (sp?) against something that isn''t even real to begin with.

 

[SparklyLibra]

Sorry to hear about your "friend". Don''t worry, I think we all know someone like that.... I can just hear it now from some of my so called friends when my ring comes.... But Future Fi would rather me have a smaller stone of D color and VVSI stats

. The stones in the cross pendant he got me for my birthday are nothing BUT!

I too would be happy with a smaller stone of BETTER quality than a big one of low value/ quality.

 

[Hera]

Date: 9/4/2008 12:31:53 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Well, now I feel confused again...

You said her F felt more comfortable with a diamond in a 1.5 range (which is a large range, depending on the other 3 c''s) but ended up spending less that 3k for a fake? BTW, I''m sure it appraised for more than what he actually went out of pocket.

And clearly, if what you''re claiming is true about her horse, house, car, purse and kitchen, then I find it odd--with all that--they couldn''t afford a real ring? Usually, when people ''have money'' they actually have money. Maybe your friend is eye ball deep in debt, and maxed herself and him out prior to the ring....I mean, stranger things have happened, right?

Or maybe...her F sees her as being way to materialistic, and wanted to teach her a lesson by passing a faux ring off as real to prove some sort of point? Like ''things can be nice without costing a fortune!''

I dunno, this situation (over all) doesn''t sit well with me...there is a great chunk of truth missing...but she''s your BFF not mine.

Those who play a lot of keepin'' up with the Jones'' and have to flaunt their material wealth usually are the ones who don''t really have any money and it''s all show

 

[TryingAgain]

heraanderson - That is SO true. The biggest money talkers are usually ones (in my experience) who are in debt and struggling. Tis why I don''t play that game.

SparklyLibra - I agree 100%. I''ve told SO since the beginning that I would rather get a nice stone with a nice color and clarity rather than a larger one with obvious flaws and color to it. Nothing wrong with going the other route, but just not for me. My engagement ring from my ex was a family stone (my families) and it''s only about .7ct and it''s a really old cut, but it''s pretty colorless and even with a loop it''s hard to find a flaw. I''m having it reset into a pendant!

 

[supergirl10]

Wow i kind of feel like everyone is being super harsh on the OP. Come on .. give her a break, she can''t detail her whole life history in one post, of course their is more to explain.

But your bff ... wow she is a nasty piece of work! If you want my opinion, hell im gonna give it anyway. I think the bff not only did some "convincing" on the budget and style of ring , but also the whole engagement process. It''s classic, she rushed him into engagement, then to compensate she has to have a flashy ring to convince herself of it being a serious engagement (in her mind). I may be wrong but ... I''ve just been through something similar with someone close.

Also i agree with everyone. That jeweller friend is a little doggy. Might wanna make sure you can definitely trust her, because with a bff like that i wouldn''t want her receiving anything that was meant for you, if she really is that spiteful.

Hope i wasn''t too harsh. Best wishes for your impending engagement!

 

[dcgator]

Putting aside the family friend and their "oops," I would really like to point out the cruelness of your supposed "BFF."

I read through the entire thread, and I see you say on multiple replies about how hurt you are at her comments and calousness. I know we all (including myself) have an opinon on how insecure and materialistic she is, but if you are clearly questioning her motives and actions, that should be the real issue here. You point out how different you guys are, which is fine, I have friends who are night to my day as well, but that doesn''t mean she can''t be inconsiderare towards your siutation and feelings. I do hope you realize that just because you are friends with someone that you should be the only one being kind. Just because she is your "BFF" she shouldn''t have the right to trample your feelings. Like every other relationship, both people have to put effort into it. If she is not doing her"duties" as a friend, you shouldn''t blindly continue to show her the obvious compassion and benefit of the doubt.

I sincerely hope that your friend is just going through a phase, and that you talking to her will snap her out of phase, but if not, don''t be afraid to call her out and suspend your relationship for the better...

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 9/3/2008 2:08:02 AM
Author: diamondfan

That jeweler needs to know, what if a hubby is surprising a wife (or buying a mistress something!!!) and sends the email to the wrong party! Ooh, the ramifications are not good.

Funny that you say that. WF constantly sends FI my emails and my emails to FI. We always said that if we were trying to surprise each other it would be ruined.

And sorry, this story is utterly hilarious to me. I can''t stop laughing about it. Personally, I would dump her as a friend. But I have a low tolerance for that kind of personality. However, if I were to keep her around, I think I''d laugh every single time she talked about her ring. But I would never tell her I knew.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 9/3/2008 11:55:56 AM
Author: Namaste
This is your ''BEST FRIEND''?!?!?

I would honestly rather be friend-less than associate with such a deceitful woman who seems to have a goal of making you feel crappy about yourself. This can''t be the only situation she''s acted this way?

I personally would cut off contact, and if she starts asking why, I''d have no problem telling her you finally saw her true colors, and don''t have room in your life for people that elevate themselves at your expense.

There''s no excuse for this kinda behavior. She needs to GROW UP.
You deserve a best friend who''ll ''ooh and ahh'' over your diamond, even if it''s a O color I3 1/64 ct stone. Not tell you how sorry she is you can''t have a ''real'' 2 ct. stone like hers (that''s not even real?!?!)!!

LOL, amen!

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 9/4/2008 2:58:43 PM
Author: heraanderson

Date: 9/4/2008 12:31:53 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Well, now I feel confused again...

You said her F felt more comfortable with a diamond in a 1.5 range (which is a large range, depending on the other 3 c''s) but ended up spending less that 3k for a fake? BTW, I''m sure it appraised for more than what he actually went out of pocket.

And clearly, if what you''re claiming is true about her horse, house, car, purse and kitchen, then I find it odd--with all that--they couldn''t afford a real ring? Usually, when people ''have money'' they actually have money. Maybe your friend is eye ball deep in debt, and maxed herself and him out prior to the ring....I mean, stranger things have happened, right?

Or maybe...her F sees her as being way to materialistic, and wanted to teach her a lesson by passing a faux ring off as real to prove some sort of point? Like ''things can be nice without costing a fortune!''

I dunno, this situation (over all) doesn''t sit well with me...there is a great chunk of truth missing...but she''s your BFF not mine.

Those who play a lot of keepin'' up with the Jones'' and have to flaunt their material wealth usually are the ones who don''t really have any money and it''s all show

Totally. There are a LOT of people out there running around, living far beyond their means.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Those people with lots of expensive clothes, cars, toys, and credit card debts are called 30K millionaires in Dallas