Is 3ct too big for ladies in the mid 30s?

[skydiamond88]

Hi everyone,

Last weekend, I tried on a 3.1 ct ring at Tiffany and I could not stop thinking of it. I did not know that a 3ct would look that much larger than a 2ct. I'm a size 4 and my current e-ring is a 2.06ct diamond which my husband just upgraded for me a few months ago and he thinks it is a decent size for me. I brought up the idea to him that I would want to upgrade to a 3ct diamond for my 35th birthday next year, but he thinks that with our age sporting a 3ct diamond may seem a bit too much. He said maybe when I'm 40 it would be a good time to upgrade again.

What do you think? does a 3ct seem too much for ladies in the mid 30s?

 

[BlingDreams]

I’d say it depends on your social circle and your finances. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with a 3+ carat in my 30’s; too many other things needed money devoted to them (kids, cars/housing, college tuition, etc). Once the kids were gone and college was taken care of, then I didn’t feel guilty about it

 

[lovedogs]

I'm in my 30s and would feel fine with it, but I think it also depends on the setting. I think a 3ct would look great depending on your finger size (on a size 4/5 obviously it would look bigger). I'm a size 7 and wear my e-ring with a 1ct center stone in a halo (which I think adds .50ct), and I stack it with a 3mm eternity band (which I guess is another 2ct)? Overall, that's a good 3.5ct and I don't think it looks overly crazy (although it probably helps with my own peace of mind that I know the eternity is moissanite so I'm not wearing so many thousands of $$ on my finger).

However, I got a 10mm "for fun" sim in a solitaire style, and that one definitely attracts more attention than I expected, and looks giant. But that's also 4ct equivalent, which will look bigger than 3ct.

I'd say wear what you love!

 

[tkyasx78]

3 ct is not too big at all.

be careful though, at some point a 9 mm will look small and a you will think - a little bigger would be ok too.

 

[bludiva]

i agree w/ ilikeshiny that it's all relative. i remember a colleague many years ago who was let's say goth/punk in her style, not big into diamonds but decided she wanted a big rock and she got engaged w/ a 3ct stone. that was not the norm for her circle or anyone else i knew of at the time. i don't remember people noticing it too much except the other girls though, we were all in our 20s.

more important for you and your husband are on the same page about it than what anyone else thinks. i do think the older you get the less likely people will be to comment on it or criticize if that is a concern.

 

[atp223]

I’m 34, also turning 35 next year, and also a size 4 . I just lost my original e-ring from 2011 (2.05 carat solitaire) and we replaced it with a 2.9 ct solitaire. It felt big the first hour or two . And now I’m totally used to it. I love it so much! I haven’t gotten any second looks as far as I can tell, and definitely no unsolicited comments.

My cousin is also our age (but prob like a size 6 finger) and got a 3 carat radiant, in a halo, with side stones, also in halos, as her original ring. And I know she definitely got comments about it.

So I think a lot of it also has to do with how you set it.

 

[skydiamond88]

I’d say it depends on your social circle and your finances. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with a 3+ carat in my 30’s; too many other things needed money devoted to them (kids, cars/housing, college tuition, etc). Once the kids were gone and college was taken care of, then I didn’t feel guilty about it

Yes, totally agree with you. Whilst we don't have any outstanding car or house loan, I do feel kind of selfish because both of my kids are still under 5 and the money could be used for other more important things like education, etc.
But I really can't get it out of my mind.. I'm going to use my own money for this time's upgrade but I am also not sure if it's a wise thing to do or not

I’m 34, also turning 35 next year, and also a size 4 . I just lost my original e-ring from 2011 (2.05 carat solitaire) and we replaced it with a 2.9 ct solitaire. It felt big the first hour or two . And now I’m totally used to it. I love it so much! I haven’t gotten any second looks as far as I can tell, and definitely no unsolicited comments.

My cousin is also our age (but prob like a size 6 finger) and got a 3 carat radiant, in a halo, with side stones, also in halos, as her original ring. And I know she definitely got comments about it.

So I think a lot of it also has to do with how you set it.

Pls Show me a picture of you wearing your 2.9ct ring
Actually, my other option if not to upgrade is to reset my current 2.06 ct to a halo to cure my DSS.

 

[Rubybrick]

Hi everyone,

Last weekend, I tried on a 3.1 ct ring at Tiffany and I could not stop thinking of it. I did not know that a 3ct would look that much larger than a 2ct. I'm a size 4 and my current e-ring is a 2.06ct diamond which my husband just upgraded for me a few months ago and he thinks it is a decent size for me. I brought up the idea to him that I would want to upgrade to a 3ct diamond for my 35th birthday next year, but he thinks that with our age sporting a 3ct diamond may seem a bit too much. He said maybe when I'm 40 it would be a good time to upgrade again.

What do you think? does a 3ct seem too much for ladies in the mid 30s?

It is only too big if you are uncomfortable wearing it. Maybe you can get a sim and see how you feel?

 

[Austina]

The trouble with this place is, whatever size you get, along will come someone else with a bigger rock, and it gets you thinking “I could totally rock that”

Seriously, a 3ct on my size 6 3/4 finger doesn’t look that big, but I imagine on your dainty fingers, looks pretty substantial.

Ultimately, it’s your money, and your choice what you spend it on. Sounds like maybe you’re thinking you shouldn’t at the moment, in which case, a halo wil give you extra coverage and bigger bling factor.

 

[OoohShiny]

If you have the money tucked away and spending it won't impact on your day-to-day lives, and will also still leave you with a safety net 'just in case', I don't think I see a reason not to spend the money

 

[ChristineRose]

I think it's less about age and more about lifestyle. I'd be too worried about whacking it to actually wear it. If you're a doctor you might be able to afford it but having that thing coming at my body parts would scare the heck outa me.

 

[atp223]

Pls Show me a picture of you wearing your 2.9ct ring
Actually, my other option if not to upgrade is to reset my current 2.06 ct to a halo to cure my DSS.

I’ve posted pics of it before (if you click on my username you can find them), so I will post new ones here that help show real life perspective, and also one of my sister’s ring - she is a size 4.5 and has a 1.71 ct (something like 7.78 mm in diameter) that is haloed. So you can see both!

Ps I also have two small children

 

[Golden_bird]

Usually it’s like angel and divel on my shoulders ne says enjoy the life and we r young ones ,buy some luxury stuff if you really need Them in your life , maybe in 5-10 years you will not enjoy it and you don’t need it anymore ! But practical side of me says :you are crazy !dont spend money on such a silly things like jewelry ! What if something happens in life and it’s awsone to have 5-10-15 thousands safely lying on your account in case of emergency...uh tough life

 

[Octo2005]

I would wait, save it for the 40th to make turning 40 more bearable!

Seriously, it depends on your lifestyle, social circle and financial obligations. Unfortunately, even when you go up to the 3ct. then the 4ct will start calling to you and so on. It's a vicious cycle, very dangerous to the fun funds and we are all enablers here.

 

[SimoneDi]

Asking for advice here on PS is dangerous because many of us love big bling I started with a 0.7ct diamond 4-5 years ago and my latest one was 2.1 which I am currently in the process of changing
Maybe a better approach is to go up gradually in size? Perhaps instead of a 3ct you can upgrade to something like 2.5ct and then get to 3 if you still want that. Oh you can decide if the money will be worth spending. Another idea is to invest the money now and fund your upgrade with the (presumable) proceeds from your investment in the future.

Can you share a pic of your ring please?

 

[Sabrina31]

I’ve posted pics of it before (if you click on my username you can find them), so I will post new ones here that help show real life perspective, and also one of my sister’s ring - she is a size 4.5 and has a 1.71 ct (something like 7.78 mm in diameter) that is haloed. So you can see both!

Ps I also have two small children

Your solitaire is stunning on your finger.

@skydiamond88 As a 32 year old mom of 2 small kids, I wouldnt think twice about seeing a large stone on a friends finger. People get married at different times of their lives, have different finances, heirlooms etc. 3 carats is out of my budget, but if it weren't i'd rock one.

 

[TreeScientist]

I think it's less about age and more about lifestyle. I'd be too worried about whacking it to actually wear it. If you're a doctor you might be able to afford it but having that thing coming at my body parts would scare the heck outa me.

If I spot a 3 carat rock on the finger of the doctor about to do my prostate exam, I'll be running out the door so fast the receptionist's head will spin.

 

[skydiamond88]

What a beautiful ring! Thanks for sharing.
Just curious, have you ever got dss?

I personally like halos in pictures and am now considering to change my setting to a halo but whenever I try a halo in person and compare it to a solitaire, I'd always choose a solitaire over a halo. Every single time.
I'd def need to go and try some more halo again

I’ve posted pics of it before (if you click on my username you can find them), so I will post new ones here that help show real life perspective, and also one of my sister’s ring - she is a size 4.5 and has a 1.71 ct (something like 7.78 mm in diameter) that is haloed. So you can see both!

Ps I also have two small children

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I agree that going from 2 cts to 3 is a huge jump. You can definitely see a visual difference in a 2 ct to 2.5.

2 cts on a 30 year old is very large where I live, and even my wealthy friends do not wear 3 ct diamonds. All of them wear their original stones from getting married when they were in their early 20s. So as others have said, it all depends on where you live, your social circle, and your financial situation. We maxed out retirement and college savings and were always debt free other than the mortgage payment. So I didn't think about an upgrade until the first two children were out of college and there was a gap before the last one started.

I really think putting a halo on the one you have would solve this problem and then revisit the upgrade idea later on at 40 or after (I totally agree with an upgrade helping making milestone birthdays more bearable!). Ultimately, you and your husband need to decide your priorities, and if getting a larger diamond now is something that would make you both happy and not interfere with your financial planning, go for it!

 

[Sabrina31]

If I spot a 3 carat rock on the finger of the doctor about to do my prostate exam, I'll be running out the door so fast the receptionist's head will spin.

Kek, Dead.

 

[skydiamond88]

@SimoneDi I think my next upgrade has to be a 3ct or else I will waste more money on a setting of a 2.5ct knowing I will change it to a 3ct as soon as I could. Esp since I've tried that 3.1ct Tiffany ring (which looked substantially larger than a 2.5ct ring I tried there as well). I definitely want a 3ct next

Here is a picture of my current ring.

Asking for advice here on PS is dangerous because many of us love big bling I started with a 0.7ct diamond 4-5 years ago and my latest one was 2.1 which I am currently in the process of changing
Maybe a better approach is to go up gradually in size? Perhaps instead of a 3ct you can upgrade to something like 2.5ct and then get to 3 if you still want that. Oh you can decide if the money will be worth spending. Another idea is to invest the money now and fund your upgrade with the (presumable) proceeds from your investment in the future.

Can you share a pic of your ring please?

 

[skydiamond88]

I would wait, save it for the 40th to make turning 40 more bearable!

Seriously, it depends on your lifestyle, social circle and financial obligations. Unfortunately, even when you go up to the 3ct. then the 4ct will start calling to you and so on. It's a vicious cycle, very dangerous to the fun funds and we are all enablers here.

Totally agree with you! When I was planning on an upgrade to a 2ct, I thought that was it. And now a 3ct is calling me

And seeing super large diamonds here at PS make me wants it even more.. or else I dont think it would even cross my mind to wear a 3ct diamond ring

 

[OoohShiny]

I'm a big advocate of 'do it once, do it properly' - the money we lose in depreciation and extra work during the middle steps can be saved by just going for the biggest / best thing you really want now! Plus prices only ever seem to go up, so it might be 'cheap' now... lol

 

[hmr_mama]

I tried to halo my 1.543 carat solitaire to appease the size whore in me. After a couple of years with the halo I ended up upgrading to a 2.67. I am in my mid thirties with 4 kids. I was feeling really guilty about the upgrade (because of how much $$ it was), and my husband said, "it's okay if you get something you like every 8 years". (8 years because that's how old my first upgrade was). If I had debt or my kids' education accounts weren't taken care of, I would have hesitated to upgrade. Maybe you could "compromise" and get a 2.5 now and the 3 when you're 40. Just be sure to go with a vendor with a 100% upgrade policy (Whiteflash/CBI).

Everyone spends their money. We all get to choose where we spend it. Don't let your "social circle" or your "areas norm" dictate what you spend your money on. Live your most authentic life. Just don't go into debt to do it.

 

[OoohShiny]

Live your most authentic life. Just don't go into debt to do it.

Wise words!

 

[tlfiore]

I couldn't agree more with all those citing personal preference, life style, etc. I'll add one more factor, one I didn't even know existed 'til it happened to me. That factor is something called "size sensitivity."

I learned a very difficult & costly lesson regarding size sensitivity. And without boring everyone with the well-known details, I'll just say my DH and I have put out over $29,000 in stuff (a TON of money for us) with nothing to show for it. Re-selling even on consignment with the BEST consigner equals tremendous financial loss.

A very wise PSer said something to me, which was a little too late but the most VALUABLE bit of information I've garnered here on PS: "You can love stuff you see and even love it on others...doesn't mean you will even like it on yourself or be COMFORTABLE wearing it."

So true. Just try to know what you are truly comfortable with and what your real priorities are.

 

[skydiamond88]

I tried to halo my 1.543 carat solitaire to appease the size whore in me. After a couple of years with the halo I ended up upgrading to a 2.67. I am in my mid thirties with 4 kids. I was feeling really guilty about the upgrade (because of how much $$ it was), and my husband said, "it's okay if you get something you like every 8 years". (8 years because that's how old my first upgrade was). If I had debt or my kids' education accounts weren't taken care of, I would have hesitated to upgrade. Maybe you could "compromise" and get a 2.5 now and the 3 when you're 40. Just be sure to go with a vendor with a 100% upgrade policy (Whiteflash/CBI).

Everyone spends their money. We all get to choose where we spend it. Don't let your "social circle" or your "areas norm" dictate what you spend your money on. Live your most authentic life. Just don't go into debt to do it.

Well, to be honest me and my husband are already debt free.. and if I were to spend this extra $$$ to upgrade to a 3ct, it would be using my own money that I currently put on stocks. So I would still have spare savings and deposits without having to touch any of my husband's savings/ investments either.

But I feel I am being selfish if I do upgrade my ring now.

Where I live (in the south east asia) people at my age usually wear 1ct+ and none in my inner circle wear a 3ct diamond. So it's not peer pressure either.
It's just that I really like a 3ct diamond and would love to wear one. My husband told me to buy birkin (I dont have one yet) or more kellys as it's cheaper than upgrading to a 3ct and he thinks no one will notice a 3ct diamond but everyone can definitely see a bag

Maybe a bag and a new halo setting for now?

 

[skydiamond88]

I couldn't agree more with all those citing personal preference, life style, etc. I'll add one more factor, one I didn't even know existed 'til it happened to me. That factor is something called "size sensitivity."

I learned a very difficult & costly lesson regarding size sensitivity. And without boring everyone with the well-known details, I'll just say my DH and I have put out over $29,000 in stuff (a TON of money for us) with nothing to show for it. Re-selling even on consignment with the BEST consigner equals tremendous financial loss.

A very wise PSer said something to me, which was a little too late but the most VALUABLE bit of information I've garnered here on PS: "You can love stuff you see and even love it on others...doesn't mean you will even like it on yourself or be COMFORTABLE wearing it."

So true. Just try to know what you are truly comfortable with and what your real priorities are.

Wow.. very well said
May I know why you want to sell yours?

 

[CareBear]

I upgraded from a 2.1 round to a 3 in my mid 30s, so no it's not too big. Speaking from personal experience, a halo (in my case a different cushion stone), a birkin/kelly, is not going to wane your desire for a 3ct. Been there, done both, still got the upgrade.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Listen to CareBear...diamonds before purses!!!! I disagree with your husband that a purse will be more noticed. Three carat, well cut diamonds definitely will be noticed! And I wouldn't EVER buy anything because others will notice. I buy because it is something beautiful that gives me pleasure and hope will have lasting value (as heirlooms for my daugthers and granddaughters).