Is 3ct too big for ladies in the mid 30s?

[Octo2005]

@Phoenix
Re getting diamond vs kellys and birkins, well getting these bags are so hard and prices have never gone down. Ppl can even make a big profit from selling its 2nd hand so my husband think it's a much better investment than diamond. But I feel wearing a diamond gives me a different kind of sarisfaction and happiness. Wish me luck in getting a permission to upgrade my ring soon from my husband

They are very hard to come by, it's been on my wishlist for years now. i always pop into Hermes shops whenever we travel and they have one (None close to my home) The only time I ever found one in a shop was in D.C when they opened a new boutique and unfortunately, it was crocodile. I just couldn't bring myself to spend that much on a purse and I wanted to stay married! Sooo, I often kick myself for the one that got away because I am fairly certain I could have turned around and sold it at a profit.

 

[skydiamond88]

They are very hard to come by, it's been on my wishlist for years now. i always pop into Hermes shops whenever we travel and they have one (None close to my home) The only time I ever found one in a shop was in D.C when they opened a new boutique and unfortunately, it was crocodile. I just couldn't bring myself to spend that much on a purse and I wanted to stay married! Sooo, I often kick myself for the one that got away because I am fairly certain I could have turned around and sold it at a profit.

You will need to buy other stuff before asking for a birkin or kelly or else you will never get one. I think that's how the rule of the game is. And even then you can't really choose the color or size so for me I will definitely buy my first birkin from a special seller (who sells at a big mark up) in order to be able to buy the exact one I want

I actually have one lizard kelly thanks to my mother who gave it as a "heirloom" hahahah.. don't think I will ever sell that though

 

[icy_jade]

My current eRing is a 2.06ct E so I don't think I can upgrade in terms of spec.
I'm very color sensitive and my husband is even more so (he was the one who insisted on getting me an E) but given the price jump to a 3ct i am aiming for a F/G VS2/SI1 (totally eye clean)

Ah. Color sensitivity is really quite a curse. So go for F if you can. I see the occasional tint in my G and I think it’s easier to see color in larger diamonds.

 

[icy_jade]

What do you think? does a 3ct seem too much for ladies in the mid 30s?

One more thing... in my mid thirties I didn’t feel comfortable wearing rings cos of my kids. There’s always the concern re scratching them, trying to carry too many stuff and damaging the thing and generally too much washing and... poop. It’s only recently that I’ve started wearing rings. Depending on which stage of life you are at, something to consider maybe as it’s something that never crossed my mind pre-kids.

 

[pearaffair]

@skydiamond88 thanks for reading my post and giving it some thought. If I can help one other person with my tale, well it's well worth it.

I don't want to hijack your original topic. With that said, I am not a "regular" amongst the PS community here, so I ask anyone to take my opinion "with a grain of salt." Guess what I'm trying to say is I am by no means an "expert" in the diamond and jewelry division-smile-I just know me and the life experiences around me.

And at the risk of boring those who already know the story a bit, I'll give you the version, since you asked (which I thank you for). If nothing else, it makes for a good read, I suppose

So, my current marriage is my second one (husband's too) and we didn't do the whole "engagement ring" thing...doing that felt silly to us at the time plus we were oldish when we met/engaged-smile. For whatever reasons, in early 2017, I decided I wanted a diamond solitaire for my cancer battle and (what was) my upcoming 60th birthday. I fell in love with CvB designs and somehow found a pre-loved Casablanca Setting on Diamond Bistro. Rather impulsively, I snatched up the pre-loved Casablanca and pursued finding an OEC diamond for its center.

Now, I've never had nice jewelry in my life, nor did my mom or any of the women in my life have beautiful (or any) jewelry. My folks were poor Italian immigrants and that's how I was raised. I do not have much family, nor do I have a large circle of friends. So, I had ZERO idea about how large the Casablanca Setting was and how large a diamond center for it...2.43 OEC...how large and COSTLY that diamond would be!! Most important, I gave zero thought to how SELF-CONSICOUS and UNCOMFORTABLE I'd be wearing so much diamond! How would I know beforehand, right?

I am from humble means and my husband and I are not wealthy. I lived in New York City (Manhattan) for 15 years, which is a different world...lots and lots and lots of wealth. But NYC was my world until we moved to Michigan. I never gave size sensitivity any thought. Never really gave thought to the "wealthier" or affluent folks in NYC and what they donned for jewelry. That wasn't my world but it was "there." The expensive, flashy jewelry looked okay...it's jewelry, right? What's the big deal??? Why would I care about the SIZE of a diamond, right? So, this was embedded in my mind, really...assimilated, I guess.

But I now live in southern Michigan in a small farming community near Ann Arbor. I circle with extremely humble people. I am not affluent, nor is my community or the people in it. But it is an Ann Arbor suburb, so...

I just didn't think things through...never entered my radar.

Immediately, I found myself "hiding" and spinning my ring anytime I wore it. I realized I was very uncomfortable wearing it...anywhere. I felt uncomfortable with the glances & stares I got from others. I felt terribly self-conscious and detested wearing the ring. Plus on my hand, the 2.43 OEC in the Casablanca looked ridiculous...it really did.

So, there goes the Casablanca. Now enter thoughts for a "custom" setting for this gigantic 2.43 OEC which was an absolute disaster and a huge mistake. I thought perhaps OUT of a halo, the 2.43 OEC would be okay, at least that's what I hoped and that's what I was told (although I had STRONG doubts). Wrong!

So, now the 2.43 OEC goes back into the Casablanca and out for sale (which no one wanted). Then I am told, "You know what the problem is...YOU are a MRB person." I'm like, "Okay, I am a MRB person." So, in comes a horrible MRB 'cause I know zero about diamonds, right?

New MRB...disaster. So, the MRB goes as a trade-in to a brick 'n mortar store in Ann Arbor for a beautiful 1.91 OEC for my "custom" setting due to my "size sensitivity" and "what the setting calls for." AS I WRITE THIS STUFF NOW, IT SOUNDS RIDICULOUS!

So, the new 1.91 OEC while precious also did not work in the CvB setting. Part of the problem was the setting, part of it was the ill fit of the 1.91 OEC in the custom CvB setting...too small.

So, out with the custom CvB setting (on consignment with Erica @LAD), out with the first 2.43 OEC (on consignment with Erica @LAD), gone is the Casablanca (sold). Gone is the 2.10 MRB. And now I have a 1.91 OEC and no setting, an annoyed husband and we're $29,000 poorer.

I take full responsibility for all of this and I feel awful. I was clueless about how uncomfortable I'd be at this time in my life sporting so much bling. People scoff at me when I tell them this but it's true. No "Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome" here. I guess a big beautiful diamond solitaire ring is just not that important to me any more. It's just not who I am, or where I am at this point in my life.

I guess IRL, I am very private and quite self-conscious. I don't want jewelry, or other outward displays to represent or define me. I hope you understand. It's just not for me.

I love diamonds and diamond stuff, love looking at it and I admire & adore beautiful diamond jewelry on others...just don't need to own it and certainly don't want to wear (a lot of) it right now. Life changes.

Sigh...brevity is also not one of my strong suits...apologies.

Thank you for sharing! I can totally relate as I seem to collect diamonds and don’t often wear them :/

@skydiamond88 - do what makes me happy! If you can swing it and it would make you happy, do it! I don’t thing age has a relationship to diamond size. You do you! And I agree that you should spend to get what you want as stop gap measures rarely end up making the person or the wallet happy - at least on this forum!

@tlfiore - thanks for sharing your story. I also do not suffer from diamond shrinkage syndrome and when I wear bigger bling, I also sometimes spin it around in certain situations as not to draw attention to myself. Honestly, even some of my smaller stuff makes me self conscious and as much as I love looking at bling, wearing much of it really isn’t me. My point is that I am sympathetic and empathetic to your story. My husband and I have no children but we’ll enjoy passing down the jewels I do have to nieces and nephews.

You’re the awesome auntie everyone hopes to have!!

One more thing... in my mid thirties I didn’t feel comfortable wearing rings cos of my kids. There’s always the concern re scratching them, trying to carry too many stuff and damaging the thing and generally too much washing and... poop. It’s only recently that I’ve started wearing rings. Depending on which stage of life you are at, something to consider maybe as it’s something that never crossed my mind pre-kids.

Omg you’re so right about the poop! I hate wearing my good rings while changing diapers :S

OP, think of the cost-per-wear and buy it now
Also diamonds are more durable than leather...

 

[Octo2005]

You will need to buy other stuff before asking for a birkin or kelly or else you will never get one. I think that's how the rule of the game is. And even then you can't really choose the color or size so for me I will definitely buy my first birkin from a special seller (who sells at a big mark up) in order to be able to buy the exact one I want

I actually have one lizard kelly thanks to my mother who gave it as a "heirloom" hahahah.. don't think I will ever sell that though

We don't have a local Hermes, so unfortunately establishing a relationship through smaller sales is going to be hard to do. I have shopped on the online website for some small leather goods and jewelry items, but it's not the same.

While I have heard that advice before about having an established relationship and previous purchases, I am not sure it is a hard and fast rule. The boutique in DC was brand new at the time and maybe that was a huge factor, but they did offer me the bag for purchase. But as you said it was take it or leave it, this is the only one available. I know that I was lucky to have it offered and I should have scooped it up.

 

[Niel]

If my fiancé told me he got me a smaller diamond because I’m not old enough yet he wouldn’t be my fiancé much longer

 

[mol42]

Like someone said earlier “the heart wants what it wants.” Provided it doesn’t negatively impact on marital and/or family obligations, I say get it now. Enjoy it today. Tomorrow is not promised to us. Life has a funny way of messing up the best laid plans. Good luck on your decision- a 3 ct will be amazing !

 

[skydiamond88]

Thanks everyone!

I discussed it again with my husband yesterday and he has given me a green light to upgrade my ring by the end of this year so the ring would be ready for my bday early next year. Wohoo.. That means I can start looking now

I will start a new thread to ask about some of the diamond I found

 

[Sunstorm]

The people who know me here and IRL know how passionate I am about bling. I have learnt many personal lessons throughout the years when it comes to bling. One very important one is that making small projects just never scratches an itch. In your case that would mean getting your current stone halo-d. At the end of the day I resented these decisions of mine, sold and still got what I wanted. Secondly many smaller rings just do not satisfy me no matter how nice they are. I have worked towards having less pieces but the ones I really love.

When it comes to getting other stuff instead, well, I ended up buying bags, shoes, clothes, you name it... it did not scratch the itch at all. I was very happy with those pieces but still craved the bling just as much as before. While I absolutely love bags, I would first get bling but then that is just me feeling that bling has soul whereas bags do not while I still adore them.

 

[HappyNewLife]

I was in my 40s when I got my almost 3ct diamond, but would I have been happy to have it at 35? HELL YEAH! If you can afford it, why not? DSS is real, even for a nice sized 2ct diamond. Hell, my diamond looks small to me now.

 

[LLJsmom]

If I felt the desire in my 30s, yeah fine. I just didn’t even want jewelry until I turned 40. Then When I did I had a lot of catching up to do. I’m rocking 3 carats now and this size is just fine.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I'm looking at this one but no .

https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/diamonds/diamond-details/5.392-h-vs1-round-diamond-bfg-785563

 

[lagirlie]

I just got my 3 carat stone and it actually looks pretty small. I don’t even have 50% coverage? I have huge fingers (size 7). I kinda wish I woulda gone a little bigger, but I was on a budget and I actually thought any bigger would be “too big” which I don’t think now.

Go big or go home!!

 

[Austina]

I was originally thinking of something 3ct ish @lagirlie but like you, it didn’t look that big on my finger Bella is 4.56cts and that’s as big as I’m going.

 

[ac117]

I got my upgraded stone at 30 but my 3.24 on my size 6.75 finger shrinks daily definitely go with what you want!

 

[LetLoveRule]

I've only just bought my first diamond at 1.09ct (well, he bought it as it's for my engagement ring ). I'm still designing the ring, so haven't even worn it yet but I'm already dreaming of a bigger rock my partner has promised to buy me a bigger diamond "someday"..

It's dangerous hanging out here, we need warning signs

 

[lambskin]

The original poster said she recently updated her ER and now less than two years later wants to upgrade again for her BDay. I would have waited to upgrade to the 3 ct on my Bday and gotten something else with the upgrade $. That being said. Hubby is not on board with new upgrade so I would not pick that battle at this time. Rather I would pick out another piece of significant jewelry. A colored stone and diamond ring, diamond earrings, watch, tennis bracelet etc. I love purses and shoes but would rather have jewelry instead. Go for a VCA piece if he wants to show status.

 

[iluvshinythings]

I've only just bought my first diamond at 1.09ct (well, he bought it as it's for my engagement ring ). I'm still designing the ring, so haven't even worn it yet but I'm already dreaming of a bigger rock my partner has promised to buy me a bigger diamond "someday"..

It's dangerous hanging out here, we need warning signs

When I came here I'd never heard of an upgrade, ideal cut or vacation jewelry and I thought 1 ct was as big as I would ever want.

You are so right that there should be a warning sign!

Good luck on your design! I hope you share pics with us!

 

[LetLoveRule]

When I came here I'd never heard of an upgrade, ideal cut or vacation jewelry and I thought 1 ct was as big as I would ever want.

You are so right that there should be a warning sign!

Good luck on your design! I hope you share pics with us!

Same! Never thought about any of that or that non PS-ers now think I'm either an expert or just crazy

Thank you and sure will I've shared many designs here: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/engagement-ring-design.243170/