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Is it generally a bad idea to ask a female coworker what the specs of her diamond are?

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envtouch

Rough_Rock
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Feb 16, 2010
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i work in an office space type setting and occasionally in meetings i notice that some of my female coworkers have stunning stones, and i''m really curious about the spec of their diamonds. however, i''m afraid to ask because i''m not sure it might offend them or feel like i''m invading their privacy... kind of like asking someone how muhc their salary is type of deal.

what do you guys think? bad idea?
 
I think the workplace it should be Don't Ask Don't Tell when it comes to diamond specs.
 
If I knew someone was shopping for a diamond and they asked me about mine because they liked the sparkle I'd happily tell them everything they want to know and then some, show them hundreds of pictures....
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Could be embarrassing if they don't know, though.
 
Good morning!

I think most women would be flattered by your interest. However over here in the Uk most don''t know much about their diamond specs other than perhaps carat weight and possibly colour/clarity. Shocking I know but jewellers over here are firm believers in "ignorance is bliss!!!"

Ask away. I think you will be met mostly with pleasant replies. Just get ready for lots of romantic background info re how the ring came to be! Us women are very sentimental about our jewllery! :-)
 
Date: 2/20/2010 2:55:14 AM
Author:envtouch
i work in an office space type setting and occasionally in meetings i notice that some of my female coworkers have stunning stones, and i''m really curious about the spec of their diamonds. however, i''m afraid to ask because i''m not sure it might offend them or feel like i''m invading their privacy... kind of like asking someone how muhc their salary is type of deal.

what do you guys think? bad idea?
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I think its the sort of thing you have to play by ear, if you were in a more non work related setting then you could certainly compliment them if the conversation and atmosphere was conducive to do so, then see what happens. Many ladies are pleased to get a compliment. I don''t feel you would be invading their privacy if the situation was right, it isn''t as if you would come straight out with " GOODNESS WHAT A ROCK!!! HOW MUCH DID THAT COST????" * grabs hand and gawks* which would not be very good form!
 
I totally understand your interest, but it could be a loaded topic. Not sure if you want to open that can of worms in the workplace.
 
I think it depends on the kind of rapport you have with your co-worker. If you are friendly enough to chat together maybe on lunch etc, I can''t see the harm in saying you are about to buy a ring and how much you like theirs.
 
I think if done with admiration you could get more responses. I would only do it with those you are friendly with though. A friend of mine at a volunteer job I have just got engaged. I noticed she had a modern cushion stone and she was happy that someone knew what it was. I asked if she knew anymore specs on the ring and she said she didn''t, but she didn''t seem offended. I figured that kind of lead in wasn''t bad. But she knows that I love talking gems so it isn''t shocking from me.

In geneal I think it could be a bad thing to bring up, but if done politely and with admiration you could pull it off.
 
but if done politely and with admiration you could pull it off.

Ditto on this. Saying what you opened with - "that is a stunning ring" would not be offensive to me at all! But then I love jewelry so it wouldn''t offend me at all. If the stone is large or blingy, it was designed to be noticeable, so why would someone be offended that it was noticed? You might not get details as to size, clarity, or cost, but then again you might - I never know when to stop talking about my stuff cuz I love to talk diamonds!
 
i would wait until it was one on one....
and then say.. i have been admiring your ring for a while...
i would ask questions about quality - but never about price.
 
I have received compliments on my ring at work but no one has actualyl asked about specs other than what shape it was. We had long discussions about the shopping process and I have helped co-workers with their ring shopping.

I must admit that I do want to ask the specs of my close friends but I usually don''t since it never felt right. However, their husbands are always very happy to share the information :P

Anyways, if you really want to know I suggest you ask one-on-one. Frame it such that you are saying something like "I have been admiring your diamond for a long time and I love it. I am on the market for one as well. I was wondering if you mind sharing the specs of your diamond. I know this is a private matter and will completely understand if you rather not share."
 
I don''t think it''s a good idea to ask questions about specs, it seems intrusive to me, especially if it''s just out of curiosity. Maybe if I was on friendly terms with the co-worker, but generally speaking I would just compliment the person and leave it at that.
 
I used to work in an office with all women. I would not be offended if someone asked me the specs on my ring. I did however have a co-worker study my ring and then she proceeded to ask how much it cost. That is so tacky. She ended up getting a 1.5-2ct RB that looked like total crapola. It was the junkiest thing I had ever seen in person.
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I don''t think it is an appropriate question to ask a co-worker. First of all, how can they no to your request? Awkward. It really puts them on spot. Secondly, it is a probe into someone''s financial situation: like how much do you make, how much do you spend. Thirdly, it is useless information since so many people are misinformed about their diamond or have inaccurate specs. My "F" turned out to be an "H" and sized up much smaller than it should have because it was so poorly cut. If you want to research sizes etc go to a high-end jewelry store and compare stones with reports.

Also, many women are very sensitive to being asked those questions since there seems to be a lot of judgment about diamonds and how they express the purity of love. Don''t touch or ask to try on someone''s ering either. There have been various threads here about how offended women are when even a relative wants to try on their ering.
 
Personally, I never ask unless they want advice about diamonds. How awkward would it be to say "Oooh, what are the specs on that diamond" and it''s a fake. Also, some people didn''t choose their diamond, so they wouldn''t know.

I think it''s fun to ask on a diamond forum, but in real life it could make people uncomfortable, kind of like asking how much someone''s salary is.
 
Date: 2/20/2010 7:43:02 AM
Author: Maisie
I think it depends on the kind of rapport you have with your co-worker. If you are friendly enough to chat together maybe on lunch etc, I can''t see the harm in saying you are about to buy a ring and how much you like theirs.
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I agree with this! What I find uncomfortable is co-workers asking if they can try on my rings.
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I''m not sure why this bothers me, but it does.
 
I don''t have co workers so I don''t know how my response may help you. (and I have no fear of sharing microwaves but my SIL explains it is because I don''t have co-workers...EEKKK she says!)

But I think in any inquiry it depends on the delivery of the question.

Hey there you little office tart, just how much jack did you put down for that and what caliber of stone you got there? Would NOT be the delivery I would choose.

Perhaps...trying something like this?

I am a becoming a tad neurotic/obsessed learning about diamonds. I realize that cut is the most important factor and I can tell from across the room with yours, that that statement is so INCREDIBLY true! I have admired yours and feel awkward asking you, so please don''t be offended...I was wondering if I could inquire about what you may know about your stone? If you know the cut and color? If I am lucky enough to get a cut half as great as yours, I will be one happy neurotic coworker! (no need for a financial statement to come into play...cut is what you are noticing, right?)

If that approach doesn''t get the results you hope for, I would step in before she heats her lean pocket and clean the crusty mystery gunk from the microwave Just FOR HER...and see how far that leads to the conversation just happening.
 
I agree that it depends on comfort level.
Offer a compliment and then notice her/his body language.

BTW, this goes both ways.
When people compliment mine I also pay attention to their body language.

Sometimes I believe they intended just a brief passing compliment, I say thanks, and that''s it.
Occasionally they are a diamond enthusiast and really would like to engage in a conversation about it.
 
Most people I work with know my passion for diamonds and gemstones so frequently they come to me and show me their new treasures. It depends on my relation with the person whether I would ask any more questions than what they offer to tell me.
 
I am retired but I tend to notice everyone''s rings everywhere I go. I am just as likely as not to say something like: "I''ve been admiring your ring. It''s so beautiful. Is that a Princess cut?".
Either they give me a dirty look and walk away or a conversation ensues based on their level of information or interest. I NEVER ask anyone how much anything costs.

At my last place of employment a woman was showing off her new Marquise ring, her first diamond after seven years of marriage. It had a bow tie that would have fit her husband.
I said "You must be so thrilled." She said "I am". End of potential awkward moment. My mother taught me that.
 
Honestly, I wouldn''t even really ask a friend what her diamond''s specs are unless I was hoping to get some advice because I was looking to buy a diamond myself -- much less a coworker, which requires a whole different level of etiquette and discretion. My good friend asked me what clarity my ring was, and I found the question very odd... it was the only thing she asked about, and she''s a single girl not looking for a diamond herself. If a friend really wanted to know the specs of my ring because she herself wants to buy a diamond, I would be more than happy to share. But I don''t think I''d share with a coworker.
 
Date: 2/20/2010 7:13:39 PM
Author: Gleam
Honestly, I wouldn''t even really ask a friend what her diamond''s specs are unless I was hoping to get some advice because I was looking to buy a diamond myself -- much less a coworker, which requires a whole different level of etiquette and discretion. My good friend asked me what clarity my ring was, and I found the question very odd... it was the only thing she asked about, and she''s a single girl not looking for a diamond herself. If a friend really wanted to know the specs of my ring because she herself wants to buy a diamond, I would be more than happy to share. But I don''t think I''d share with a coworker.
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Yeah, I didn''t even ask my best friend her specs, so I never would ask a co-worker.

I know this is really odd, but sometimes I''m even uncomfortable with the sharing of specs in SMTR. And it is a diamond enthusiast forum! So I''m willing to accept that I might be weird in this regard.
 
Asking specs is a no no, IMO, pretty much always. Except at a PS get together or with your closest girlfriends if it''s done in an admiring way.

But I don''t think it''s impolite to compliment it and hope that she tells you herself.
 
My fiance''s co-worker asked where our ring was from during his Christmas party. Then she insisted that we took photos of our rings together. I found it really odd but I think she was just excited.
 
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