Is it right to lie about your diamond?

[orbaya]

My thought on this is WHO CARES?

If it is a CZ (and she knows it) and she''s telling you that it''s a diamond...it really is none of your business. I know you don''t like the idea of her possibly lying to you...but you shouldn''t get upset because you don''t know for a fact that she is. Besides, it''s a harmless little thing. I''m sure you''ve told little white lies before.

Anyway, let her enjoy the ring and be happy she is commited to someone...that''s a lot more than some people get.

 

[heart prongs]

Orbaya...I would care...you don''t go around discussing price in the first place...let alone lying about it! She has the right to be upset with her friend. If she''d lie about this, what else is she capable of lying about? klr

 

[sparklish]

Date: 3/21/2005 12:17:14 PM
Author: heart prongs
Orbaya...I would care...you don''t go around discussing price in the first place...let alone lying about it! She has the right to be upset with her friend. If she''d lie about this, what else is she capable of lying about? klr

Except that she hasn''t established that she is actually lying...

 

[fountainfairfax]

1st- Please imagine the pressure your friend must feel, real or imagined, to let you & everyone else know what she has & how much it cost....

2nd- the whole issue hits close to home, as I have had a friend who was given a cz w/o her knowledge, have another friend who wears a cz e-ring but only those very close to her know it''s a cz and another friend who has a fabulous cz rhr and tells everyone its not real (even if you don''t ask her!) Before I inherited my stone from my Aunt it was a real issue with me regarding what we would do for an e-ring, BF is unemployed & doesn''t use credit for anything- I spent way too much time on those cz jewelry sites and tried to imagine what it would be like to wear one & would I represent it as real or not. I started to look at very modest cz''s in the hopes that one could "pass"..I started to drive myself so crazy that I realized I''d be happier wearing nothing!

But anyway, I have come to feel that cz rings are wonderful when the wearer knows the truth, they allow for a little luxury that may not have otherwise been affordable and although I guess some people may feel its dishonest, but in highly uncomfortable or competitive situations they can "level'' the playing field. I work in an environment where I am constantly floored by the amount of debt people are in just to keep up with one another; everyone who works hard deserves a nice treat once in a while but I have employees who make around $10 per hour, no second incomes deep in crazy cc debt to get new coach bags, michelle watches, $200 jeans, Lexus & BMW rides....when they get engaged I want to cry for them as they get large but substandard rings at 24% interest.

And as a quick aside, a fellow manager told me that she had a conversation with a group of our vendors (women who I am close with) who think it''s horrible that my future e-ring will have an inherited stone, that it is my bf''s responsibility to get me a "new" diamond and that any man who can''t do so should not be getting engaged! I stay pretty far away from them all now, they have rings worthy of Leon''s work and good for them- they fell in love with men very different than my BF. whether their lives will be "better" than mine of course remains to be seen...

 

[Christy42]

Date: 12/5/2004 10:56:39 PM
Author: MichelleCarmen
Well, I think it''s terrible that you would be more upset by the fact that your friend is lying to you than happy for her that she''s pre-engaged. Who cares what her ring is, diamond or cz, just congratulate her and let this slide. Maybe she''s embarassed that she has a cz so she''s lying. Some don''t have loads of money to blow on fancy rings and this isn''t her fault so why make an issue of it?

Diamond-Gal,

I know that some may think you are questioning the quality of her diamond or whatever it is but I think I get the point. It''s not that you have such a problem with the diamond, you are just concerned that she may have lied to you about it. The reason for the diamond description is to confirm that she is probably lying about something anyway. It''s not likely that a diamond that small would be worth $2,000 ecspecially when it doesn''t look that great. So either it is a fake or one that is worth considerably less. Am I right?

I have a friend that does that all the time. My friend apparently feels like she has to "keep" up with me so to speak and definitely exaggerates things a bit. The funny thing is that I could care less what she has or doesn''t have. We''ve been friends for over twenty years and she''s still my friend. It hurts me to think she feels anything but trust and friendship. I guess her own feelings of inferiority contribute to that. I''ve tried to downplay what I have and "upplay" what she has many times but it doesn''t help. Your situation might not be this bad but she has even made comments to me when I bought something that I did not need, like a new coat when I already have several, "Another new coat! Did you really need that?" It drives my husband crazy because sometimes when he gets me a new piece of jewelry I won''t wear it around her because I''m afraid I''m making her feel bad.

As someone else stated she may have been lied to as well. Another story....A friend of my husband gave his girlfriend a "diamond" that had previously been set in his man''s ring. It was a carat round and she was sooo proud until it cracked right in half one day. So we never knew what that was, a piece of glass or plastic, fractured diamond or who knows what. We''ll never know because they didn''t last long after that and he was also known for being quite the storyteller.

Anyway, I think I know how you feel. It does make you sad when people you love put on airs around you for whatever reason....

 

[MissAva]

It is hard being on either side I think, when I was younger my parents were in the military and we had no money for anything just before I got into HS my father left the service all of a sudden we had things...it was weird

. I am still not quite comfortable I love PS because I feel like here no one cares how much father paid for my watch of did he get a good deal of my Lexus (he actually let me do the negotiating and I am proud of that). But it is hard now when people ask me things like that, it is rude to me and I get tired of saying I drive a small SUV. I didn’t buy it because its a Lexus it was the one that was the most quiet and I drive from NJ to AL several times a year and the noise makes my ears pop and makes me sick.

Does anyone ever consider that?

Nope I am a snob, or others wonder why I didn’t get the larger suv....

cause I am in college and asking my parents for an extra 20 grand seemed wasteful. In terms of clothing I am lazy with stuff like that I am heavy for my height and though i want to be a size 6 I am a 16

so I get my clothing from TJ Maxx or Target. Who cares? (Yes my sorority sisters did I am sure they still blush when I walk but with my coach purse and wal-mart flip flops, oh the shame of it all!

)There are people who are going to be rude no matter what.

When I feel evil I can be just as bad. As for fakes I don’t really think it mattes as long as the person who is wearing it knows. I love my studs and my BFF has mentioned that to me on several occasions so I bought her a fake pair from QVC, she loves them and doesn’t care that they are fake I liked them so much that I now have a pair for when I travel.

I think it is way more important to live with in your means whatever they are then to have an item. My BF is paying his way through school and he goes to a private university, if he proposed with nothing but a smile I would still say yes. I want him not the ring.

(Okay yes I would love a fabulous pretty shiny

and I want him to ask with a scrabble board

.....but I love him and its not like if I don’t get one now he could give me one in 10 or 15 years.

)

 

[Asschman]

Date: 3/21/2005 2:44:44 PM
Author: Matatora
It is hard being on either side I think, when I was younger my parents were in the military and we had no money for anything just before I got into HS my father left the service all of a sudden we had things...it was weird

. I am still not quite comfortable I love PS because I feel like here no one cares how much father paid for my watch of did he get a good deal of my Lexus (he actually let me do the negotiating and I am proud of that). But it is hard now when people ask me things like that, it is rude to me and I get tired of saying I drive a small SUV. I didn’t buy it because its a Lexus it was the one that was the most quiet and I drive from NJ to AL several times a year and the noise makes my ears pop and makes me sick.

Does anyone ever consider that?

Nope I am a snob, or others wonder why I didn’t get the larger suv....

cause I am in college and asking my parents for an extra 20 grand seemed wasteful. In terms of clothing I am lazy with stuff like that I am heavy for my height and though i want to be a size 6 I am a 16

so I get my clothing from TJ Maxx or Target. Who cares? (Yes my sorority sisters did I am sure they still blush when I walk but with my coach purse and wal-mart flip flops, oh the shame of it all!

)There are people who are going to be rude no matter what.

When I feel evil I can be just as bad. As for fakes I don’t really think it mattes as long as the person who is wearing it knows. I love my studs and my BFF has mentioned that to me on several occasions so I bought her a fake pair from QVC, she loves them and doesn’t care that they are fake I liked them so much that I now have a pair for when I travel.

I think it is way more important to live with in your means whatever they are then to have an item. My BF is paying his way through school and he goes to a private university, if he proposed with nothing but a smile I would still say yes. I want him not the ring.

(Okay yes I would love a fabulous pretty shiny

and I want him to ask with a scrabble board

.....but I love him and its not like if I don’t get one now he could give me one in 10 or 15 years.

)

Motion to ban any further use of "emoticons" for the remainder of this thread.

Can I get a second?

 

[Jaz]

what is a "blingy"?

cheers,
Jaz

 

[kaylagee]

I can''t vote fer that since

I

emoticons too! here''s a redundant one just for good measure..they''re simply too cute to resist!

 

[birdgirl]

diamond-gal,
she might not have lied, she might not have known.
I was told my engagement ring was 1/2 ct. I believed for 3+ years it was, and told everyone who asked that it was 1/2ct. but then realized when I finally went into a jewelry store that it was 1/3ct! I didn''t know. My husband didn''t know any better either. We were both uneducated about diamonds.

My aunt did make a comment that my diamond was sooo small. I don''t know if she was trying to tell me that she knew it wasn''t a 1/2ct, but I really didn''t care. I was happy.

 

[Angel7]

Maybe she''s lying to just you and not other people?

I don''t mean it in a rude way but maybe she feels she needs to impress you or compete with you?

Keeping up with the Jones?

You yourself said you have a 2 carat CZ and a fake Louis. Maybe she just wants to be able to "stack up" against you?

It''s your friendship and you know it better than anyone else here.
It does suck though to have a friend who you feel is constantly lying.

Good Luck!

 

[schmoopy]

Date: 12/6/2004 7:37:40 PM
Author: kayla17

Date: 12/6/2004 9:48:57 AM
Author: kayla17
This actually brings up a really important question that I found on another diamond forum.


If one looks like they can''t afford a really expensive ring, such as dresses down, is very young, drives a old or clunk of junk car, then what would be the point of buying a real diamond, why not just get a CZ.

Even if you have a real diamond, everyone will think it''s fake anyway, right?

What do you guys think?

Hey, I am quoting myself!!!

Anyway, in response to my own question, I have to say that I probably fit the description/stereotype of someone who can''t afford to buy a diamond.

I am most comfortable wearing jeans and tees, or bulky sweats and I look very young for my age as well. I drive an average car, until recently I was drving a 1995 Honda Civic coupe, but finally got a new car this year. But again, it''s just average, not a luxury car or anything.

When I walk into an expensive store, the salespeople don''t coming rushing up to me to attend to my every need. They actually give me a look like-'' Oh, not her again, she''s always here but never buys anything!''

Most of my stuff is real, sometimes, I will wear a fake piece.

Since getting my anniversary gift, I have wondered if people thought it was fake, since I just don''t look like I can afford it.

The thing is, I have never questioned the authenticity of someone else''s jewelry. If it happened to look cloudy, I just think that either it''s dirty or it''s not a great cut/clarity.

If someone tells me they got engaged and show me their ring, I never think twice about it''s authenticity and I would never ask them if I could see the certificate or if it even came with one.
Even though I know there are a lot of great looking CZ''s out there, it would never come across to me that the ring someone else is wearing might be.

Maybe I am dense, or maybe it just doesn''t matter.

Kayla, I totally agree with you. To me, it is just wrong to put people on the spot when it comes to something as important as an engagement/wedding ring. It is what the ring(s) symbolize, not how much they cost etc that is important!

Now this is coming from a 24yr old girl whom has had many blessings in her years. My family has and still lives very comfortably in a smaller suburb. My dad drives a big truck (this thing has since passed me and my brother up in the family rankings! lol!!) and my mom has a sensible toyota avalon, which she would never trade for any other car! My parents were never ones to flash our material things to anyone - we were the "oh my gosh, that is gorgeous!" or "I love that car of yours!! My favorite color is red!" type people. We never said, "oh gosh, is that a coach bag, how much was that?" or "is that a real ______" On the other hand my to-be in-laws are on the opposite end of the pasture. They are the cut and true powerhouse family. Big name, big business, big house, big everything. Granted, they are not show-offs, but they are used to having the cream of the crop so to speak. Don''t get me wrong, I love them to death! All of the women I have met, seen, gotten to know in that family have fairly large rings. Mine will be added to that pile. A few are very tacky when dealing with other people''s jewels, but most of them like my future sis-in-law are very funny when it comes to strangers. She usually is one to say, " you like it? i love it! here, try it on!!!" bless her heart. I would NEVER let my e-ring so far as to come of my finger!! But when faced with people who say "Thats not rea''" or imply that her ring is fake, she pulls the sassy pants on and retorts with something like "Yeah? Well I don''t think your boobs are real...." and casually walks off. She is a firecracker, and I love the way she can say that! It makes me laugh for days on end!!

Sorry to drift off topic, but I wanted to say, yes, I agree - it doesn''t matter the size of the ship, it''s the motion of the ocean that is what counts......... errrr..........no, I didn''t mean that! It''s the thought that counts, and matters. Yes... there we go!

 

[partgypsy]

I would give your friend the benefit of the doubt. And besides, even if there was some exaggeration of price, etc due to keeping up with the Jones''es, it could be due to insecurity she has with you and you having more stuff. You can forgive her for that, can''t you?

It''s funny about the "is it real or not" feeling. Up until recently I have always been a snob about owning "real" jewelry and gemstones, would rather have a carnelian in sterling silver than a fake ruby ring in fake platinum. However, now that I have a little more income, been able to buy my Mom and sister some nice pieces of jewelry, some nice pieces for myself, I''ve relaxed about the whole thing. It''s okay to buy costume jewelry for the sheer enjoyment of it. For example, I used to have a pair of 1/3 tw diamond studs, vs quality, but lost them (rather forgot them them at a beach house, hasta la vista baby!). I then got a pair of winfield''s studs and I enjoy them just as much, in part because I know how easy it is for me to lose earrings, and in part if I wanted to, I could afford to buy another pair of diamond studs (just choose not to).

I don''t tell people they are diamonds, and I do have fun looking at other people''s diamond looking jewelry and trying to figure out if it is real or not, but I Don''t make any judgements about the person whether it is cz or not. They may have plenty of money but may feel the huge price difference for diamonds is not worth it relative to the enjoyment they get out it, or they may be spending their hard earned money on things that are more important: putting food on the table, keeping a roof over their and their family''s heads.
Relax, It''s Just Jewelry.

 

[orbaya]

Date: 3/21/2005 12:17:14 PM
Author: heart prongs
Orbaya...I would care...you don''t go around discussing price in the first place...let alone lying about it! She has the right to be upset with her friend. If she''d lie about this, what else is she capable of lying about? klr

The point is that we don''t know if she''s lying. Maybe she is, or maybe she believes she has a diamond (even if she may not). There''s no reason to distrust someone before there is proof of a lie.

 

[*BlingBling*]

Date: 12/5/2004 9

9:57 PM
Author:diamond-gal

Recently, a friend of mine received a promise ring... unfortunately I think her ring is a cubic zirconia... she has mentioned that it came with no certificates... ect...

She said she took it to a jeweler... to have it appraised it''s a quarter carat... and she believes it''s worth $2000 dollars but I really find that hard to believe it has very poor light return and has that weird waxy look to it.

In any case I mean my friend no harm I m very happy for her... but I’m just disappointed because I think she maybe lying to me! So I thought I would throw the situation out there to all you diamond fans... to see what you thought!

Who cares???? What does the authenticity of her ring have to do with you? It''s HER promise ring, not yours. She has to wear it. Wether its a CZ, a diamond or a piece of glass, stop raining on her parade and just be happy for her and her man!