Is it rude?

[trillionaire]

Hey ladies and gents:

Do you think it is rude to ask someone the size of their diamond?

 

[Lauren8211]

Personally, no I don't, but that may be because I'm not self-conscious about it. Maybe if I thought I had chubby fingers, I might feel differently.

I'd stick with only asking those you are close to, because you never know who you can offend. I mean, you can tell the size of my boobs by looking at them, but you'd never ask, right?

I wear a 6.5

EDIT: Maybe I should not read so fast!! Haha.

Ok, DIAMOND size, not ring size. Let's see here. I think it's rude, yes, because it's irrelevant. However, if it were a close friend, I'd ask. I'm nosy like that.

 

[Cleopatra]

Hey elle - i think she meant the size of the diamond - not finger size

 

[gwendolyn]

BOOYAH, first to vote, so I am 100% of the results!

Annnnyway, I voted for the last option because those who know me know how much I love diamonds and that I find all stones beautiful and won''t use the knowledge to compare to others'' rings. I don''t even ask all that often, and sometimes I don''t have to ask because I''m involved in the purchasing of the ring/stone.

But yeah, if I was to ask, it''d be with those who know me well enough to know I''m not trying to make them feel uncomfortable, and I always preface the asking by saying that I know it''s an awkward question and to feel free to say they don''t know, would rather not say.

I have never, EVER asked how much a ring has cost (although I have wondered at times). I don''t think that would ever be appropriate unless they wanted to find out if they overpaid, in which case they would volunteer the info, I wouldn''t ask.

 

[Cleopatra]

If it''s about diamond size - I don''t know if it''s rude, but i would never ask - i think all diamonds - no matter what size are beautiful... I know when someone asked me, I felt a bit uncomfortable - even though mine is a very respectable size at a little over a carat.

 

[Bia]

Maybe it''s rude but I don''t know. I wouldn''t care if someone were to ask me what size my diamond was...

To ask how much it cost...well, that might be a tad rude, but again, I don''t know that I would be offended...

 

[trillionaire]

I was at a gathering the other day, and a young lady came up to a newly engaged young woman and said, "Oh my gosh, let me see your ring! It''s beautiful, is that a carat? It looks like a carat!"

The newly engaged woman was of course excited and twittering, and it was 1.01 carats, so she was quite excited to talk about it, but I couldn''t help but feel a twinge of "How rude!"

I can''t imagine charging up to someone and asking that! I guess, IMO, I would probably err on the side of letting people offer that information if they are comfortable. If I don''t know the carat size of a ring, it does nothing to diminish the beauty of the ring.

 

[Dreamgirl]

I don''t think its rude, I''ve asked a few people before and they never seemed bothered by it, in fact, they seemed happy that someone took an interest in their ring. I of course, didn''t ask something like "is it 1ct?" but rather just the size of the diamond. So no, I don''t think its rude at all. But that''s just me.

 

[janinegirly]

I think it is most certainly rude and tacky. Why not ask how much he spent on it and his salary while you''re at it!

If it''s a family member, that''s a bit different, but beyond that you''d have to be very very close friends and know that the person had no issue with sharing this information but still, even that is borderline tacky.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Well, it depends on the situation and how you ask the question. But I don't see anything wrong with saying "Your ring is quite lovely, what size is that? It looks very nice on your hand!"

That's how I have asked. I don't think thats tacky at all.

 

[wishful]

Date: 7/8/2008 3:33:09 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
I don''t think its rude, I''ve asked a few people before and they never seemed bothered by it, in fact, they seemed happy that someone took an interest in their ring. I of course, didn''t ask something like ''is it 1ct?'' but rather just the size of the diamond. So no, I don''t think its rude at all. But that''s just me.

Yeah I tend to agree. Granted I''m not going to walk up to a complete stranger and ask them about their ring but if it''s someone I know I might say "Oh I love your ring! That''s a beautiful diamond! How many carats is it?" in a flattering, interested way.

Just the other day I asked a coworker who rarely wears her e-ring what size her stone was. I thought it was close to a carat and turns out it was .75. She was flattered that I thought it was a full carat. And I commented how feminine and elegant it was at that size! She loved telling me all about it.
So I think in certain situations it''s fine. People just need to use their heads and be tactful.

 

[Izzy03]

Although the size of my diamond is NON-EXISTENT (i am not engaged), I really think I would find it rude to be asked depending WHO asked me and how they asked me.

Examples:
-A very close friend wouldn''t bother me at all, we talk about much more personal things than that!

-Someone who is gushing over how much they love my ring (if I can tell they honestly mean it) wouldn''t bother me.

-Someone who appears to be "sizing up" my ring (pardon my pun) for comparisons to others would really annoy me.

 

[purrfectpear]

The larger your diamond the more you better get used to it, fast.

If it''s rude then I''ve met every rude waitress, saleslady, cashier, and coworker in my city

I don''t let it embarrass me. It would be silly to act coy. For crimininy, you can hardly miss it.

 

[fieryred33143]

I don''t think I have every asked a stranger ever the size of their diamond. There are two sizes in Miami: big and small. I remember saying "dang that girl''s diamond is HUGE" or "awww how cute"

I don''t even remember asking my best friend the size of her diamond until I became interested in diamonds/engagement. And even then it was more of a "do you know the stats" and that''s how I found out.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 7/8/2008 6:05:17 PM
Author: purrfectpear
The larger your diamond the more you better get used to it, fast.


If it''s rude then I''ve met every rude waitress, saleslady, cashier, and coworker in my city

I don''t let it embarrass me. It would be silly to act coy. For crimininy, you can hardly miss it.

Oooh, does it have an SMRT thread?

 

[HollyS]

Date: 7/8/2008 3:07:09 PM
Author:trillionaire
Hey ladies and gents:

Do you think it is rude to ask someone the size of their diamond?

Sorry. Gotta disagree with the survey results. IT IS ALWAYS UNACCEPTABLE TO ASK UNLESS IT IS YOUR SISTER OR VERY BEST FRIEND. No one else you would ask would think it was okay. They would talk about your rudeness behind your back. I guarantee it.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/8/2008 6:19:57 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 7/8/2008 3:07:09 PM

Author:trillionaire

Hey ladies and gents:


Do you think it is rude to ask someone the size of their diamond?

Sorry. Gotta disagree with the survey results. IT IS ALWAYS UNACCEPTABLE TO ASK UNLESS IT IS YOUR SISTER OR VERY BEST FRIEND. No one else you would ask would think it was okay. They would talk about your rudeness behind your back. I guarantee it.

I thought it was rude to ask, but when I said this to others, they gave mixed reactions and mostly shrugs and "who cares". That''s why I decided that I needed to poll...

 

[purrfectpear]

Gwen, only one with Whiteflash pics. When I took this temp transfer to the midwest I didn''t bother packing anything other than clothes, the dog, and the flat screen TV.

I knew I wouldn''t be taking tourist pics since I grew up here. It never occurred to me that I''d be taking pics of a diamond, so no digi cam with me. One of these days I should take some phonecam pics out in the factory. The giant halogen lights 60 feet in the air make diamonds sparkle like nothing you''ve ever seen. Think Home Depot lighting times 1000.

 

[glitterbug]

I would never ask someone outright, but my best friends have shared freely, without being asked - and I honestly wouldn''t mind if they were to ask me when the time comes! If a coworker, stranger, or not-so-close cousin or friend asked, I would definitely find it rude. Someone I know always replies with "Oh, I wish it were real!" when someone asks, because she''s uncomfortable sharing. It works for her!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/8/2008 7:11:13 PM
Author: glitterbug
I would never ask someone outright, but my best friends have shared freely, without being asked - and I honestly wouldn''t mind if they were to ask me when the time comes! If a coworker, stranger, or not-so-close cousin or friend asked, I would definitely find it rude. Someone I know always replies with ''Oh, I wish it were real!'' when someone asks, because she''s uncomfortable sharing. It works for her!

LOL! I was thinking of things that one could say to "gently chastise" someone for asking a too personal questions like diamond size. Haven''t come up with anything "nice" enough yet...

 

[Tuckins1]

I think it is almost as bad as asking someone how much money they make. It''s none of my business and I don;t really care... Of course, if someone wants to share i''m ok with it. The only time I feel comfortable sharing that kind of information is when a friend is looking for a ring and want something comparable to mine size wise. Other than that, I think it''s a little crass to bring it up.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/8/2008 3:11:36 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Personally, no I don''t, but that may be because I''m not self-conscious about it. Maybe if I thought I had chubby fingers, I might feel differently.

I''d stick with only asking those you are close to, because you never know who you can offend. I mean, you can tell the size of my boobs by looking at them, but you''d never ask, right?

I wear a 6.5

EDIT: Maybe I should not read so fast!! Haha.

Ok, DIAMOND size, not ring size. Let''s see here. I think it''s rude, yes, because it''s irrelevant. However, if it were a close friend, I''d ask. I''m nosy like that.

i just ask....CHEST SHOTS please !!

 

[iheartscience]

I don''t mind at all when someone I know asks me, but it does make me uncomfortable when people I don''t know ask me. So I voted for the option that says that, obviously!

 

[Dancing Fire]

it happen a couple of times when i was with my wife....
her friend ask "how big is your diamond?" i answer....9.70mm.

then her friend got all confuse

 

[lovesparklies]

I don''t think it''s so rude to ask, especially when it''s a close friend, but I''m not comfortable asking even then. I''m always curious to know, though, so hopefully they''ll volunteer the info!!

What I do find rude and/or uncomfortable, however, are the comments people make after they ask the size of my diamond and I tell them. After I got engaged tons of people at work asked how big my diamond was and they either gushed on and on (which is nice, I suppose, but kind of embarrassing) or a couple of people said oh, I thought it was bigger than that! Is that a compliment? How am I supposed to respond to that?!

But anyway, as long as people have good intentions I don''t think it''s rude to ask.

 

[kittybean]

I don''t think it''s rude to ask a very close friend (that you share many other personal things with) or family member, as long as it''s in a polite manner. I''ve asked before for diamond stats from close friends, but I think you have to evaluate your relationship with the person before asking. My close girlfriends and I share a lot of personal information, so it seemed okay to ask in that context. When in doubt, don''t ask!

I haven''t had any strangers or acquaintances ask me yet, but I think I would probably feel it was impolite if they did.

 

[bee*]

People have asked me the size of mine and it''s never bothered me at all. I haven''t asked anyone the size of theirs but I wouldn''t think that it would be rude to ask a close friend. I wouldn''t ask a stranger.

 

[Deelight]

I would ask a friend in a OMG I am so freakin excited for you, you got engaged and your ring is beautiful tell me everything you know about it, your proposal and anything else relevant so we can get all excited and happy together. If my friends asked me or family I would tell them, again I don''t think it is rude at all, a stranger it would depend on the situation.


trillionaire Your quote cracks me up , I could see myself doing something like heck one of the reasons I started PT sessions was to shrink my finger size LOL

 

[janinegirly]

Some of this is guided by personal opinion--ie if you have no issue asking, then you are more likely to say you wouldn't mind being asked. Also there is a big range between "close friend" and "stranger". That leaves 90% of people (acquaintences, social friends, work peers, non-immediate family) --so where would they fall if they were to ask?

To me, generally, any question about finances beyond a very close inner circle is considered rude/improper. Ring size is linked to finances..essentially you are asking what it is worth. You are not asking the cut or the engagement story or commenting on how beautiful it is, you are asking for a number which quantifies its worth. Now if you don't mind asking and feel it's appropriate towards the person you are talking to, that's totally fine. But in general, it's a big faux pas.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 7/9/2008 9:49:22 AM
Author: janinegirly
Some of this is guided by personal opinion--ie if you have no issue asking, then you are more likely to say you wouldn''t mind being asked. Also there is a big range between ''close friend'' and ''stranger''. That leaves 90% of people (acquaintences, social friends, work peers, non-immediate family) --so where would they fall if they were to ask?


To me, generally, any question about finances beyond a very close inner circle is considered rude/improper. Ring size is linked to finances..essentially you are asking what it is worth. You are not asking the cut or the engagement story or commenting on how beautiful it is, you are asking for a number which quantifies its worth. Now if you don''t mind asking and feel it''s appropriate towards the person you are talking to, that''s totally fine. But in general, it''s a big faux pas.

Actually, I think the majority of people have no idea how much diamonds cost, so I don''t look at it like that at all. I think it''s just curiosity for the most part. I guess it depends on the context, though.

A girl in my class who is going to be engaged soon asked me how big my diamond is, and I told her. She just wanted to know what size it was in context to her engagement, I''m sure. I felt a little funny telling her, but she''s very nice and had admired my ring several times without asking anything size related. I know she only wanted to know because she''s getting engaged, so I told her. I asked her if she wanted to try it on and she was like "Yes! I never ask people to try their rings on but I always want to!" I don''t think she was trying to figure out how much it was worth at all...but again, that''s all context. A random stranger asking me would get a short nonanswer from me like "No idea" or something like that.