Is it tacky to wear better diamonds than the Bride??

[somethingshiny]

Okay. This totally threw me. By PS terms, by bling collection is very modest but IRL, I have some of the best diamonds in our circles of friends and family. I don''t wear my rocks around the house, but I always sport diamonds when out and about, even to Walmart (my family has always teased me about that). My Sis is getting married in a bit over a week and it''s been pointed out to me that I shouldn''t be wearing my "big" diamonds since they will "outshine" my sis''s. And, I''m MOH so I will be standing next to her. Instead, it''s been suggested that I wear only my most diminutive pieces.


Her rings aren''t PS approved by any means but she loves them.
Is this something I SHOULD be concerned about?

To me it''s ridiculous. Now wedding attire is supposed to limit the jewelry that you can wear without offending someone?? btw-Sis has made no mention of this to me, however, she has pointed out how "gaudy" my rings will look compared to the others. Was that her way of asking me not to wear them?? Usually, I''d just come right out and ask her, but she''s been a bit of a zilla and I really don''t want to get into anything now.

Thanks for any thoughts.

 

[jewelz617]

Oh please! It''s not like you''re going to roll up into her wedding wearing a white cocktail dress and tiara. You should wear whatever jewelry you want!

You family should rest assured, everyone''s eyes will be on the bride.

 

[LilyKat]

Date: 3/17/2010 2:01:06 PM
Author:somethingshiny

she has pointed out how ''gaudy'' my rings will look compared to the others. Was that her way of asking me not to wear them??

Yes.

What you want to do with that is up to you.

 

[sunnyd]

Oh please indeed! That''s just ridiculous, like you should hide what you worked hard to get?

 

[Maisie]

I would ask her what she wants you to wear. I know in some bridal parties the bride asks for a plain pendant on a chain or whatever. If she asks you to leave certain pieces at home then I would respect her wishes. Its only one day.

 

[somethingshiny]

Thanks for the comments so far.

We''re really only talking about my rings. Sis has chosen 2" silver cross necklaces for the entire bridal party to wear. To me, if any jewelry is going to stand out, a 2" cross would do the trick faster than an anni ring...

 

[Haven]

A wedding is about a marriage between two people.
Period.

When people make it about other things, that''s their issue, not mine.

I would wear my rings, and I''d be very offended if someone asked me to leave my set at home because it was too big.

 

[Rachel9]

It''s silly, she needs to get over it

 

[Upgradable]

I think your situation is a little different, being that you are Maid of Honor and sister of the bride. In this situation I would say less is more, and let the bride shine brightest.

 

[AprilBaby]

Who is going to be looking at your rings at the wedding? Everyone will be looking at her! If I wore my rings every day (I do) then I wouldn''t take them off for the wedding. If I wore them occasionally, I would.

 

[waterlilly]

Date: 3/17/2010 2:01:06 PM
Author:somethingshiny
Okay. This totally threw me. By PS terms, by bling collection is very modest but IRL, I have some of the best diamonds in our circles of friends and family. I don''t wear my rocks around the house, but I always sport diamonds when out and about, even to Walmart (my family has always teased me about that). My Sis is getting married in a bit over a week and it''s been pointed out to me that I shouldn''t be wearing my ''big'' diamonds since they will ''outshine'' my sis''s. And, I''m MOH so I will be standing next to her. Instead, it''s been suggested that I wear only my most diminutive pieces.



Her rings aren''t PS approved by any means but she loves them.

Is this something I SHOULD be concerned about?


To me it''s ridiculous. Now wedding attire is supposed to limit the jewelry that you can wear without offending someone?? btw-Sis has made no mention of this to me, however, she has pointed out how ''gaudy'' my rings will look compared to the others. Was that her way of asking me not to wear them?? Usually, I''d just come right out and ask her, but she''s been a bit of a zilla and I really don''t want to get into anything now.


Thanks for any thoughts.

If she is talking about you not wearing your e-ring and wedding band - then too bad for her. BUT if she is talking about earrings and necklace, bracelet, etc. AND you are in the wedding party - it is HER wedding. If you are in the wedding party you should wear the jewelry she wants you to. (but keep your e-ring/band on of course)

 

[panda08]

Sounds silly but what exactly is it that people want you to leave at home? Your e-ring and your wedding band? If so, even though it''s stupid, I''d just wear the wedding band to avoid drama. It would be entirely ridiculous to ask you to NOT wear any ring.

 

[lilyfoot]

if it symbolizes your marriage (i.e. e-ring/wedding band/anniversary band), I''d wear it. If they''re just talking about random pieces of jewelry, I''d ask if there''s a jewelry "dress code" for the entire bridal party, and follow that.

 

[somethingshiny]

It''s only the ering/wedding band. Sis has only said they are "gaudy" and has not made any requests about them for the wedding (although it appears that perhaps THAT was her request). The request is coming from a couple bridesmaids.(not family. My family would never ask a woman to take off her ring and for the most part they find it inappropriate that I don''t wear my rings around the house.)

The reason I''m concerned by it is because these aren''t my original set. They are upgrades. So, I kind of get why it''s a big deal to THEM. To THEM there is no symbolism since it''s not the rings I was married in. To THEM, it''s just "show." To me, it''s my rings. They are technically anniversary pieces, but I wear them as a symbol of my commitment.

I would gladly leave my ering at home but the biggest offender seems to be my new wedding band. I wear a .77 cushion in a pave setting as an e-ring and had been wearing a small channel set band with it. Recently, I got a 1ctw 5 stone that I''ve been wearing as a wedding band. Like I said, not big on PS, but big enough to cause a problem. I guess I should just wear the smaller channel set band alone and call it a day....


I will be wearing the cross that she adores and has gifted us and simple stud earrings, probably no bracelet although I''m so used to wearing a watch I may throw on a plain bangle.

If this wasn''t for my sis, I''d laugh it off, but I really don''t want to irritate her on her wedding day.

 

[October2008bride]

Date: 3/17/2010 2:56:29 PM
Author: lilyfoot
if it symbolizes your marriage (i.e. e-ring/wedding band/anniversary band), I''d wear it. If they''re just talking about random pieces of jewelry, I''d ask if there''s a jewelry ''dress code'' for the entire bridal party, and follow that.

Ditto to this one!

 

[sbde]

i would pretty much do anything my sister wanted to make her big day special - especially something as easy as not wearing large jewelry! of course i would not be this accomodating to many other people, but family is different.

i agree that she has pretty much asked you not to wear your larger pieces through her comments.

 

[Hest88]

Date: 3/17/2010 2:56:29 PM
Author: lilyfoot
if it symbolizes your marriage (i.e. e-ring/wedding band/anniversary band), I''d wear it. If they''re just talking about random pieces of jewelry, I''d ask if there''s a jewelry ''dress code'' for the entire bridal party, and follow that.

What Waterlilly said and what Lilyfoot just said above.

No one has a right to ask you to set aside your wedding set, but certainly it wouldn''t hurt to conform if it comes to other pieces of jewelry.

 

[RaiKai]

That's just absurd. That is like telling one my fellow coworker who parks next to me in the company parking lot not to drive his Lexus to work because it outshines my Mazda.

I could of cared less if someone had a nicer ring than me at my wedding (and they did as I did not even have an e-ring!). To me the day was most definitely NOT about what jewelery my guests (or I) wore and I adored having all my guests (complete with their bling) there!

I do agree with others though as MOH that if this is about huge earrings and necklaces and bangles, it is not unreasonable to go a little more toned down If they are asking you to remove sentimental pieces (like your wedding rings)...no way. And it sounds like the latter is what they seem to have a problem with. It is not relevant to me that they are "upgrades" and not the originals. They are YOUR wedding rings and YOUR sign of YOUR own commitment. You bet I would wear them if I were you.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 3/17/2010 2:13:49 PM
Author: Haven
A wedding is about a marriage between two people.
Period.

When people make it about other things, that''s their issue, not mine.

I would wear my rings, and I''d be very offended if someone asked me to leave my set at home because it was too big.

Exactly this. I don''t understand why your sister would be more comfortable asking her bm''s to talk to you rather than speak to you directly.

 

[swimmer]

Ditto Haven. Plus you are pregnant and dressing like a tomato for her! She determined the cross necklace right and silver shoes? I hope that your sister hasn''t even thought about your rings and that this is just bridesmaid concocted nonsense.

For the first time ever I just thought about how all but one of my BMs outblinged me tremendously. My sis with her 3ct ER ering and two 2ct eternities plus studs looked fantastic and i can''t imagine asking her to leave those lovelies at home! Hmmm, actually I should have "traded" for the day

Just kidding!

 

[whitby_2773]

i''d ask. find out if she has a mental jewelry ''look'' she''s after.

and then i''d happily conform to anything - except removing the ring i considered to be my wedding band.

i''d be careful about ''throwing on a bangle'' - that''s a lot more obvious than wearing a ring, and she really might have a look she''s after.

but for me, wedding rings are non-negotiable.

 

[zoebartlett]

Honestly? It sounds silly to me. I say wear whatever you want!

 

[oddoneout]

Maybe she''s insecure (and not just about diamonds). I''m pretty sure all eyes will be on her (she is the bride after all). I say wear what you want and share the day with your sister, family and friends.

 

[studyer83]

Agreed. She doesn''t want you to wear them. It is silly, but I wouldn''t. Maybe she is jealous or wants similar things and just doesn''t want to see your shiny things on her wedding day. Who knows, but you''re in a better position to know than us!

If you wear it, there''s a chance she''ll ignore it/won''t even notice -- weddings are so crazy!
But here it is easy to avoid creating any drama. Granted, you shouldn''t have to avoid doing so, but, well....sisters....you know

Date: 3/17/2010 2:09:26 PM
Author: LilyKat

Date: 3/17/2010 2:01:06 PM

Author:somethingshiny


she has pointed out how ''gaudy'' my rings will look compared to the others. Was that her way of asking me not to wear them??

Yes.


What you want to do with that is up to you.

 

[kenny]

Go ahead and wear your nice diamonds, but use hand lotion to turn down the volume

 

[MichelleCarmen]

It's totally acceptable to wear your wedding set, but as MOH, it'd be respectable to the bride to tone down the rest of your attire.

 

[lulu]

Date: 3/17/2010 5:56:27 PM
Author: kenny
Go ahead and wear your nice diamonds, but use hand lotion to turn down the volume

Lol.

Since it''s your sister and she seems insecure I''d give her a pass this one time and just wear your simplest wedding band.

 

[Indylady]

Is it tacky? No, not at all. Not all brides love diamonds...and seriously, how the heck would you even predict what a brides diamonds would look like?! Nah, its not tacky at all.

But, for your sister, I would would follow her request for her special day even if I do honestly think the request is out of line.

Its not going to be too hard to follow, and it is her special day, and its your sister. I would do that for my mother, sister, or other very close friend. If she asks you to do that on any other day besides her wedding day, then, I would be

.

I''m sure she means well, but your beautiful rings might make her a little insecure; I have a cousin that is my age and still repeating her A-levels and I''m graduating college...while she knows I''m graduating and excited about it, I don''t talk about it as much as I do with my other friends because the trouble she''s been having in school for the last few years is one of her insecurities. She''ll get through her A-levels and enter college soon (hopefully starting this fall!) and I think that your sister will learn to accept your ring entirely and not give it a passing thought.

However, if it makes you seriously uncomfortable, then I''d have a talk with her. Something along the lines of, "I''ve heard that I shouldn''t wear my new wedding set...what do you think?" Completing open-ended, not implications that its a message she sent along, etc.

 

[elrohwen]

Unless your diamonds are larger than 10 or 15 ct or something, no, I don''t think it matters. I don''t think the vast majority of people even notice we''re wearing diamonds.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/17/2010 2:01:06 PM
Author:somethingshiny

Her rings aren''t PS approved by any means but she loves them.
Is this something I SHOULD be concerned about?

To me it''s ridiculous. Now wedding attire is supposed to limit the jewelry that you can wear without offending someone?? btw-Sis has made no mention of this to me, however, she has pointed out how ''gaudy'' my rings will look compared to the others. Was that her way of asking me not to wear them?? Usually, I''d just come right out and ask her, but she''s been a bit of a zilla and I really don''t want to get into anything now.

Thanks for any thoughts.

gaudy ?? never heard of that word in my life.

if i were you i''d empty my jewelry box for this special occasion.