Is this rude

[soontowed]

We are putting a +1 on everybody''s invitation. But I was wondering if it would be okay to tell my closest, single friends that I am putting them down without a plus one but if there is somebody they really want to bring to just let me know and I will add them. It would really help me get a better idea of how many people will come but I don''t want to be rude. What are your thoughts?

 

[cindygenit]

Its not rude

That is exactly what I am doing for my wedding. I want my wedding to be intimate and personal. So, if a person has a serious partner that I may not be close to (in my mind, this is a +1), I will call before printing invites to get their name and put their name on the invite instead. Make sense? All my single friends will come alone.

This is your wedding, so you can do what you''re comfortable with.

 

[Dannielle]

I would either put down +1 on every invitation or on no invitations, but that is just me

 

[tlh]

Kinda, I think you should give everyone the option to bring a date. Why single out your closest and dearest friends?

When they RSVP- let them RSVP as a solo or +1. It kinda puts them on the spot to have them feel like they may be driving up your costs if they call you 2 weeks before the wedding and say... uh.. can I bring a date? Because even if you may not be complaining about money.. it may come across that way.

I''m just in the treating everyone equally boat. If there is a rule, apply it to everyone... don''t single out your best friends even though you think they may be comfortable to be like, yeah I want to bring a date- in the last minutes, a lot of brides (myself included) get really stressed out, and a little frazzled, and this tension can come across in even the most basic of situations.

Sorry to ramble.

 

[Patchee]

Well the people you are inviting to your intimate wedding + their 1 you should know who their +1 already is

I addressed my invitations like John Doe and Sheila Shoo instead of just a +1.

If anyone your wedding party (close friends) should have the automatic +1 (more so, the name of the person they want to bring)

Using actual names instead of +1 's on my invites worked out GREAT because if the person I added as their +1 could not attend there was no other
fill in to bring which cut down on having people at my wedding that I did not know.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

It doesn't sound to me like you are limited in the number of guests you can have but are looking more for an estimate of the total number. If that is the case, invite everyone with a plus one and tally your totals with the assumption that everyone will bring a plus one. When making estimations on overall costs, you will always be looking at the higher end estimate so if you find you are less 15 people, that's a cost savings to your overall budget.

If this is a situation where you are limited on space, a problem I myself have - then I suggest sending the invites out without the "and guest" for your single friends. If you find yourself with declinations and open seats then you can outreach to your friends and casually mention that there is room if they want to bring a guest. Keep in mind, not every single person is going to consider a plus one date only - some will bring a friend instead of a date. Don't leave it up to your friends to ask you if they can bring a date - because some won't want to ask. If you find yourself with the option to allow a guest I think you should approach your friend with the option - takes the burden of needing to ask off your friends shoulders and still keeps you in the driver's seat over who gets the option extended to them.

 

[soontowed]

Date: 8/11/2009 1:09:53 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
It doesn''t sound to me like you are limited in the number of guests you can have but are looking more for an estimate of the total number. If that is the case, invite everyone with a plus one and tally your totals with the assumption that everyone will bring a plus one. When making estimations on overall costs, you will always be looking at the higher end estimate so if you find you are less 15 people, that''s a cost savings to your overall budget.

If this is a situation where you are limited on space, a problem I myself have - then I suggest sending the invites out without the ''and guest'' for your single friends. If you find yourself with declinations and open seats then you can outreach to your friends and casually mention that there is room if they want to bring a guest. Keep in mind, not every single person is going to consider a plus one date only - some will bring a friend instead of a date. Don''t leave it up to your friends to ask you if they can bring a date - because some won''t want to ask. If you find yourself with the option to allow a guest I think you should approach your friend with the option - takes the burden of needing to ask off your friends shoulders and still keeps you in the driver''s seat over who gets the option extended to them.

It''s definitly a spce thing. I don''t like how the room looks with too many tables.

I hadn''t thought about the friend thing. I really don''t want somebody''s friend at my wedding and I can totally see two of my friends bringing their roommates. So no plus ones for them. The only friends I''m now thinking of giving plus ones to are the ones in relationships or the ones that are coming from far away.

 

[swimmer]

For those in a relationship, could you write out their partner/SO''s name? To give some folks +1 and not others (because you are BETTER friends?) could hurt some people. I might be sensitive to this b/c DH was recently sent a wedding invite with a +1, um, if you know him well enough to invite him, you can write out his wife''s name.