"Jewellery addiction" / Compensation

[Roselina]

Hi everyone

A recent thread about jewellery addiction suck with me. I am always "on the hunt". Once, something arrives, I'm happy but I go right back hunting. I do not live over my budget, this is not the problem. But I think I shrugged this off too easily as "just my hobby". Someone mentioned "compensation" associated with the topic of jewellery addiction. This really really got me thinking. Am I compensating for something? It might be. What about you?

Looking forward to hearing opinions and experiences.

 

[lyra]

It's just a luxury thing. I don't think it's an addiction, although I sometimes (often) wonder why every kind of jewelry is so appealing to me. Not just high ticket items.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Hmm I replied to that thread as well so I’ll summarise quickly here what I said there - for me, it truly is a hobby that comes from how beautiful I find jewelry, and it isn’t wrapped up in acquisition - of course I like to buy nice jewelry but I limit myself to a couple pieces max a year and am at peace with the fact that I can’t own everything I find pretty.

Am I compensating for something? I think not. I have an eye for beauty and I enjoy designing, so a lot of the impetus for me is to maybe give the jewelry designer in me a place to shine (though I can’t draw). I love classic/staple pieces that I want to acquire because of their wearability, but I almost enjoy unique pieces more, when I design them in my head. I maintain a wish list but they’re mostly pieces that I can picture in my head and haven’t necessarily seen in real life and I probably will never actually buy. Maybe I’m compensating for the fact that I can’t let my creative side out in my real job!

 

[Begonia]

I don't think so. I love jewellery as an art form, and I design waaaay more pieces in my head than I actually acquire. It's been a constant since I was a child, I've always adored bling. I'm sure the art of adornment has a whole history that I'm unaware of. Truth be told, I should have become a jeweller. I think I would have excelled at hand engraving, I was a hot damn draftsperson.

 

[chrono]

I think sometimes we enjoy the thrill of the hunt more than the bling itself.

 

[cmd2014]

I think sometimes we enjoy the thrill of the hunt more than the bling itself.

This is me. It took me a long time to realize this about myself. And it's not just limited to jewelry. I do it with housewares and dishes and everything that I love materialistically wise.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Everyone has some kind of interest. Some people play video games as much (or more) as I spend online looking at jewelry or jewelry forums. Some people watch hours of TV or play golf or work out several times a week. There are many people who have collections of items that interest them. I agree that sometimes the hunt for a special item is the most satisfying purchase.

I do agree that psychological addiction is possible with anything that gives us pleasure, but the problems come into play when people are going into debt for the hobby or using money that should go for food, shelter, or other essential expenses for the hobby. With jewelry, I'd only buy with excess money after normal bills are paid, there is adequate retirement and education money saved, no consumer debt, and donations are made. I do struggle a little with every purchase because I know full well that it is a luxury that most people do not have. But my husband and I worked, spent wisely, saved wisely, so I think it's okay to spend a little for things that we enjoy.

 

[voce]

Maybe I’m compensating for the fact that I can’t let my creative side out in my real job!

I think this is true for me. I enjoy "composing" and designing custom rings with the various colored gems that I find/come across. Sometimes it's addictive, such as grabbing well-priced paraiba tourmaline or red/pink spinel. I love the idea of creating unique heirloom pieces that are minor works of art I can pass to my children. Gems withstand the ravages of time better than any other form of art I'm aware of.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I think this is true for me. I enjoy "composing" and designing custom rings with the various colored gems that I find/come across. Sometimes it's addictive, such as grabbing well-priced paraiba tourmaline or red/pink spinel. I love the idea of creating unique heirloom pieces that are minor works of art I can pass to my children. Gems withstand the ravages of time better than any other form of art I'm aware of.

You have some gorgeous CS rings, I was just stalking some of your posts after coming across your “Just For Fun” thread! Really beautiful! You’re very talented and have a great eye for color

 

[voce]

You have some gorgeous CS rings, I was just stalking some of your posts after coming across your “Just For Fun” thread! Really beautiful! You’re very talented and have a great eye for color

Wow, thank you! I get a lot of inspiration from PS and PS-recommended vendors.

 

[pearlsngems]

I think it's easy to overestimate how much we will actually use a thing (anything) once we own it, especially if it duplicates other, similar things we own, or if we can only use or wear one such item at a time.

It's this that has caused me to reduce what I buy in all the categories in which I tend to spend money (other than consumables). Anything new has to be different enough from other things I have that I know I will get enough use out of it to make the cost worthwhile.

 

[dk168]

Would I stop having a jewellery wish list?

No, as I would just add other, usually more exclusive/rare items to replace the ones I have purchased.

I love jewellery ever since I was about 11yo, being taken to have my ears pierced and to go jewellery shopping with my mum and a distant relative who loved jewellery.

They make me happy. If I need a pick me up, apart from food, I would bring out the nicer pieces to look and admire them. Some of the pieces are more significant in terms of sentimental value than the others, and they are very dear to me.

I mix costume pieces with real ones on a regular basis, only I would know which one is which.

I do not believe my love for jewellery is compensating anything.

I am on my own and childless by choice, and I spend my hard earn money as I please. I don't have to answer to anyone. I acquire jewellery because I love them!

DK

 

[AprilBaby]

It’s a feel good hormone high. It just costs more than meds. That’s why we buy something again right away. We need another hit.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

I think sometimes we enjoy the thrill of the hunt more than the bling itself.

You are so right but it makes me wonder....are we crazy?
I mean the average person searching for an engagement ring usually admits defeat at some point and mentions hair pulling and a need for cocktails.

Are we then sick or odd for *enjoying* this tedious & time consuming process?


The answer is probably, but I just don't care. As long as Im not taking out loans or opening new lines of credit for this I will continue to feel zero guilt.

 

[stracci2000]

I have more jewelry than anyone should have, but I still want more.
I keep coming up with categories that I must fill.
I don't think I am compensating. It feels more like a compulsion.
But I can control it. I really can stop if I want to. But I don't want to.
I'm glad you all understand.

 

[alittlelight]

My daughter pointed out to me that I seemed to enjoy hunting and planning than actually owning the piece. I took that to heart and am really trying to enjoy what I have for awhile. It is too much money to always feel like there is “one more” or the “next piece.”

 

[Arcadian]

If I'm not buying gemstones, I'm buying something else....lol am I compensating? Maybe, but don't care, my money.

Enjoy your life. Everyone should. If jewlery makes you happy, then enjoy it.

 

[voce]

You are so right but it makes me wonder....are we crazy?
I mean the average person searching for an engagement ring usually admits defeat at some point and mentions hair pulling and a need for cocktails.

Are we then sick or odd for *enjoying* this tedious & time consuming process?

The answer is probably, but I just don't care. As long as Im not taking out loans or opening new lines of credit for this I will continue to feel zero guilt.

Really? It took me all of 12 hours of delightedly searching online after my boyfriend gave me the OK and asked for help in finding the ring I wanted. Maybe I had a delightfully easy time of it because I was not a jewelry addict before I started the search, and maybe I was just incredibly lucky for finding my ruby engagement ring within one day of starting my search.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

Really? It took me all of 12 hours of delightedly searching online after my boyfriend gave me the OK and asked for help in finding the ring I wanted. Maybe I had a delightfully easy time of it because I was not a jewelry addict before I started the search, and maybe I was just incredibly lucky for finding my ruby engagement ring within one day of starting my search.

Yes! Most people dont have an easy time searching for their center stone which for the average person is always a diamond, then mix in all of those crazy specs and that alone can be brain melting, then adding a custom setting and figuring out a way to mail everything...the average person sees that as a nightmare. You dont fit that though voce! You're one of us!

 

[voce]

Yes! Most people dont have an easy time searching for their center stone which for the average person is always a diamond, then mix in all of those crazy specs and that alone can be brain melting, then adding a custom setting and figuring out a way to mail everything...the average person sees that as a nightmare. You dont fit that though voce! You're one of us!

I wasn't a PS'er until months after I picked out my engagement ring . And, to begin with, I wanted a ring ready to go, so did not spend any time picking out a center stone and deciding on a setting. Just looked through NSC's stock of existing corundum rings, and came across a few options I liked for my budget, and was able to decide on the ruby ring very easily. It was a risk considering we didn't have the time to see it in person, but the 30-day return made me more confident having DF buy it and check it out. The months of waiting for him to give it to me and propose were agony! (Not really, but you know, I'm an instant gratification kind of girl.)

 

[LemonMoonLex]

I wasn't a PS'er until months after I picked out my engagement ring . And, to begin with, I wanted a ring ready to go, so did not spend any time picking out a center stone and deciding on a setting. Just looked through NSC's stock of existing corundum rings, and came across a few options I liked for my budget, and was able to decide on the ruby ring very easily. It was a risk considering we didn't have the time to see it in person, but the 30-day return made me more confident having DF buy it and check it out. The months of waiting for him to give it to me and propose were agony! (Not really, but you know, I'm an instant gratification kind of girl.)

After seeing your beautiful collections of colored gemstone jewelry it boggles my mind that you only became insterested in gems/jewelry two years ago!

& I was mentioning the average person that isnt into jewelry at all and is just picking out a nice custom piece because of tradition. I think for those people the process leaves them crosseyed

 

[voce]

After seeing your beautiful collections of colored gemstone jewelry it boggles my mind that you only became insterested in gems/jewelry two years ago!

& I was mentioning the average person that isnt into jewelry at all and is just picking out a nice custom piece because of tradition. I think for those people the process leaves them crosseyed

Hehe, I guess I'm just one of those people that, if I spent $$$ on something, I'll want to maximize my utility and pick something unique that I love, not because of tradition. Heck, I want to get married wearing blue or red instead of white!

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

You are so right but it makes me wonder....are we crazy?
I mean the average person searching for an engagement ring usually admits defeat at some point and mentions hair pulling and a need for cocktails.

Are we then sick or odd for *enjoying* this tedious & time consuming process?


The answer is probably, but I just don't care. As long as Im not taking out loans or opening new lines of credit for this I will continue to feel zero guilt.

I found what you said about engagement rings really funny because I am the keeper of the rings for all my friends. I literally maintain notes and Pinterest boards for the “perfect ring” for all of my close friends and all their boyfriends know they have to come to me and have me buy the ring for them. What’s even funnier is that some of my male friends’ girlfriends have also approached me to say “this is what I like, please take him shopping if he asks, I know you’ll do the best job!” And I’m so happy about it! I once debated prong styles with a friend of mine for like 3 days on and off until she finally told me “if you like it, then I will love it, I trust you completely. Don’t even show me!”

 

[voce]

I found what you said about engagement rings really funny because I am the keeper of the rings for all my friends. I literally maintain notes and Pinterest boards for the “perfect ring” for all of my close friends and all their boyfriends know they have to come to me and have me buy the ring for them. What’s even funnier is that some of my male friends’ girlfriends have also approached me to say “this is what I like, please take him shopping if he asks, I know you’ll do the best job!” And I’m so happy about it! I once debated prong styles with a friend of mine for like 3 days on and off until she finally told me “if you like it, then I will love it, I trust you completely. Don’t even show me!”

Woohoo, what a fun role! You deserve it for the expertise you've acquired.

 

[1ofakind]

LOL @stracci2000

I am always looking. But my collection of meaningful jewelry is small (for this forum!) and it takes a lot for me to bite on a new piece. I ended up with 2 new rings late last year, a significant birthday gift coming up for myself this year, a fun ring and an antique locket...so far. But before that it had been 3 years since I purchased anything significant in cost. As in...I picked up a few sterling pieces at thrift or antique stores and that was it. So this will be a very heavy 12 month period following a 3 year drought. It might be another few years until something else catches my eye.

I don't think I am compensating. I tend to be very deliberate. My kids are grown. I have a little side gig that pays for things and hubby also occasionally collaborates on something he knows I would like. Some women spend more on shoes or purses or hair....I'm pretty low key. I just like nice sparkly things.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

I found what you said about engagement rings really funny because I am the keeper of the rings for all my friends. I literally maintain notes and Pinterest boards for the “perfect ring” for all of my close friends and all their boyfriends know they have to come to me and have me buy the ring for them. What’s even funnier is that some of my male friends’ girlfriends have also approached me to say “this is what I like, please take him shopping if he asks, I know you’ll do the best job!” And I’m so happy about it! I once debated prong styles with a friend of mine for like 3 days on and off until she finally told me “if you like it, then I will love it, I trust you completely. Don’t even show me!”

Lol I'm also the one person that all of my friends, family, and coworkers know to come to when theres a special jewelry occasion because they know I know my stuff and that I will find them quality! I also have zero problems with putting in a lot of time to search for them, so much so that Ive had multiple people now tell me that I should charge for the service, like a 10% of the overall. Haha
Cheers to being our communities ring keepers!

 

[voce]

Lol I'm also the one person that all of my friends, family, and coworkers know to come to when theres a special jewelry occasion because they know I know my stuff and that I will find them quality! I also have zero problems with putting in a lot of time to search for them, so much so that Ive had multiple people now tell me that I should charge for the service, like a 10% of the overall. Haha
Cheers to being our communities ring keepers!

You and @AllAboardTheBlingTrain make me so self-conscious that I don't have more female friends. I think all my female friends from high school are married, or like me, stuck in coronavirus wedding limbo, and I've kept up with more guy friends from college and online gaming than female friends, none of whom solicit any advice from me on jewelry! The only non-work friend I contact on a daily basis happens to be my fiance. He appreciates my collection but never requests additional pieces. :p

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

I think most regular PSer's have a passion for jewelry, but everyone's situation is different. We all look at, talk about, and buy jewelry for different reasons.

My engagement ring was the "gateway" for me. I like looking at jewelry as it's beautiful and I love consulting for friends' engagement rings - in fact, I should pay them for allowing me the pleasure!

I think fundamentally it boils down to human nature wanting more vs. being satisfied and content with what they have. This could be applied to jewelry, travel, hobbies, career, family life, etc.

 

[nala]

Hi everyone

A recent thread about jewellery addiction suck with me. I am always "on the hunt". Once, something arrives, I'm happy but I go right back hunting. I do not live over my budget, this is not the problem. But I think I shrugged this off too easily as "just my hobby". Someone mentioned "compensation" associated with the topic of jewellery addiction. This really really got me thinking. Am I compensating for something? It might be. What about you?

Looking forward to hearing opinions and experiences.

Do you think you are? If so, compensating for what? Do you have to run a list in your mind of all the aspects of your life? Like your career, social life, love life, spiritual life, etc to see if any is lacking? I’m pretty fulfilled in those aspects. Or is it to compensate for insecurity? Funny. I don’t know anyone who appreciates jewelry in my social circle and i don’t flaunt my pieces—so I certainly don’t do it for anyone’s approval.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

You and @AllAboardTheBlingTrain make me so self-conscious that I don't have more female friends. I think all my female friends from high school are married, or like me, stuck in coronavirus wedding limbo, and I've kept up with more guy friends from college and online gaming than female friends, none of whom solicit any advice from me on jewelry! The only non-work friend I contact on a daily basis happens to be my fiance. He appreciates my collection but never requests additional pieces. :p

If we lived closer Id totally be your one jewelry loving- CS obsessed friend! Where wed have to constantly be sending pics of the day and sharing our setting ideas!
Also sometimes its just nice to be around femininity every once and a while. A nice lunch or dinner with girlfriends can be priceless especially when you have handpicked those who only raise eachother up! ❤

Id like to think (minus a couple of crazies) that this forum is the virtual relationship of the one I just described. So please do refer to me as your gem friend in real life because I see many of you as that!