Jewelry in memory care?

[Buttercookies]

So my mom is going to memory care assisted living against her wishes, because she has dementia caused by drinking and end stage COPD, fell and broke 5 ribs, is non compliant with her medicines and oxygen and I cannot care for her at home.

She loves jewelry. Do I bring her some? I would rather not have her take the e-ring from my dad who has passed, because I am afraid it will get lost or stolen but it IS hers.

Anyone else been in this position?

I’m sorry about your situation but I do not recommend expensive things. It will get stolen. Perhaps really nice cz jewelry or gold plated like everyone said.

 

[Rfisher]

Thank you. Not overstepping. You are right. It’s just hard. All of my empathy neurons are During and I am on high alert because I’ve always felt threatened by her even when she can not hurt me anymore.

The hospital actually called me to tell me they had a duty to violate HIPPA and inform me that she repeatedly and specifically said she would murder me. It’s probably unrealistic. She’s on O2 and can’t move real easily but she’s also paranoid and firearms are easy to obtain in GA so on the off chance she manages to leave AMA, I will need to hightail it out of here. I keep telling myself that’s unlikely.

This is a great place and a much better option than jail or a psychiatric facility would be for her which given how threatening she’s been is likely her next stop.

I am moving her bedroom furniture over so it will feel like home but a studio apt is never going to be her 3000 square foot house. It is so sad seeing how hard this is on her and experiencing all her emoting. The icing on the cake of all this is the hospital gave her COVID and now I have it. I am just laying in bed surfing pricescope and wishing we could stop again if and cognitive decline. Also wishing there was enough money to keep her at home.

I am sorry for you and this situation.
You’ve been given some excellent advice already.

I do want to say that unless laws vary state to state, I don’t believe the caregivers violated HIPPA in telling you this information. I do believe they have a (in good faith) duty to tell.
And if you are not her POA, healthcare or durable, or whatever -
If she actually has the ability to leave a facility like you describe AMA,
I think I would be addressing that ability to make it not able.

Again - I am sorry for this
It’s horrible.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Thank you. Not overstepping. You are right. It’s just hard. All of my empathy neurons are During and I am on high alert because I’ve always felt threatened by her even when she can not hurt me anymore.

The hospital actually called me to tell me they had a duty to violate HIPPA and inform me that she repeatedly and specifically said she would murder me. It’s probably unrealistic. She’s on O2 and can’t move real easily but she’s also paranoid and firearms are easy to obtain in GA so on the off chance she manages to leave AMA, I will need to hightail it out of here. I keep telling myself that’s unlikely.

This is a great place and a much better option than jail or a psychiatric facility would be for her which given how threatening she’s been is likely her next stop.

I am moving her bedroom furniture over so it will feel like home but a studio apt is never going to be her 3000 square foot house. It is so sad seeing how hard this is on her and experiencing all her emoting. The icing on the cake of all this is the hospital gave her COVID and now I have it. I am just laying in bed surfing pricescope and wishing we could stop again if and cognitive decline. Also wishing there was enough money to keep her at home.

Oh my goodness
These kind of illness are so unfare on everybody
Its so cruel

who is giving you support and a hug ?

Thankfully my FIL still remained a gentlemen with his altzimers to the very end but my mother became violent and told lies
the worst thing is they may have been lies to us, but to her they were real

My SIL's MIL was convinced that she was steeling her .....knickers
another case of its funny now but was not at the time
anyone with half an eye could see Jannet's bottom would never have fit those knickers
But the accusations hurt her deeply and she had always done so much for her MIL

This stage won't last forever but as a nurse told me the first time i went to see mum in the lock up demetia unit, its never going to get any better

 

[OneKuhlChic]

So my mom is going to memory care assisted living against her wishes, because she has dementia caused by drinking and end stage COPD, fell and broke 5 ribs, is non compliant with her medicines and oxygen and I cannot care for her at home.

She loves jewelry. Do I bring her some? I would rather not have her take the e-ring from my dad who has passed, because I am afraid it will get lost or stolen but it IS hers.

Anyone else been in this position?

I worked in a couple of nursing homes and the staff take everything!!! New clothes, sneakers, PJs, pretty much anything not nailed down. It's sad but that was my experience.

Now that I think about it when I was in high school my grandfather had to go into a nursing home. His oversized gold signet ring ended up "missing" and was never seen again...

 

[OneKuhlChic]

@Bravissimo I just purchased these moissanite and 10k yellow gold huggies from Etsy for my mom for Mother’s Day. You can buy a single or pair. I like to buy with an option of being able to purchase a single just in case she loses one. The whole pair with tax was $125..I got her the 8mm huggies so they would fit right up to the earlobe..They won’t catch on her pjs when she takes them off over her head. She’ll also leave them in when she’s sleeping. These are a little thicker than her last pair..but I think they will work. I have another pair that I know work because they are smaller. They are diamond and 14k white gold...but very tiny and thin..She already lost one so I took the remaining one back and replaced the lost one. They were mine anyway..I have charms for them..so I really needed them back. The moissanite ones I just purchased for her are wider and more blingy. I think she’s going to love them.

Having your Mom sleep with her earrings on is a great idea!

It's initially difficult when people move into a nursing home or assisted living. However, once they have a routine it gets better.
I provided psychotherapy for new and long-term residents, as well as those with severe mental illness.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I worked in a couple of nursing homes and the staff take everything!!! New clothes, sneakers, PJs, pretty much anything not nailed down. It's sad but that was my experience.

Now that I think about it when I was in high school my grandfather had to go into a nursing home. His oversized gold signet ring ended up "missing" and was never seen again...

This makes be happy my grandma was in the care of the nuns
Unfortunately when mum's time came due to the Christchurch earthquakes destroying lots of places, we couldn't find a Catholic place for her

We did 'loose' a new big bottle of perfume and my sister kicked up Mary hell and the facility replaced it for us

 

[LemonMoonLex]

Came on here to echo what others have shared. Because of the dementia, or in the case of any slight in memory whatsoever, I would personally make the difficult choice to not let my mom take her jewelry - even if she asked for specific pieces.

Albeit this would truly break my heart as my jewelry collection is like a love token museum for my life. Each piece representative of a time, place, or person.

I know that I'd want my children to keep my jewelry safe from thievery if I ever develope dementia (it runs in the family sadly, but so far only men.)

I'd purchase only silver jewelry or gold filled silver with semi precious gemstones that aren't designer nor expensive. To "mimic" diamond I would buy a huge white sapphire.

It's so awful to hear that others will take such personal objects from a human, let alone when they're at such an age. The only time I'd understand them doing so is when its been confirmed 10x that the elder has no remaining family left, the worker has built a bond with the elder, & the elder wants to give the worker the piece(s). Otherwise it's just wrong.

 

[MamaBee]

My mom never had really nice pieces…She did inherit some antique pieces from her mom..She threw them in a drawer and never wore them. I keep them with me in a safe place. She has no interest in them at all.
She likes “Honkers”.. She wore gigantic CZ studs..That’s the name she gave her earrings. She can’t wear those because she would want to sleep in them..They would cut into her delicate skin. I bought her a blingy moissanite and gold ring and moissanite huggies in yellow gold. She LOVES them! She never takes them off..I have to wrestle them out of her ear to clean them when she comes to my house..

 

[diamondringlover]

my mom has dementia as well brought on by alcohol abuse and spousal abuse, my sperm donor use to knock her around ALOT...anyway she is in assisted living but is getting closer to memory care, she took ALL her jewelry with her, some is now missing, now has it been stolen or has she "hid" it we don't know, try not to let her take her good stuff as it may come up missing....it is such a horrible nasty disease, its far harder to "lose" your mom mentally than physically....my mom is no longer my mom and it's very hard on me and I struggle to understand it and I personally HATE the person she has became.