Joint checking, or separate accounts?

[janinegirly]

MP- No i did understand your point/post--I am saying I don't see danger in separate accounts for separate money beyond a limited small amount for "fun stuff". A majority of my savings is in my personal account. Same with DH. We have a joint account that we refill monthly to cover all joint expenses (mortgage, baby, credit cards) and when necessary, purchases (i.e. the house which cleaned out most of the savings at the time!).

Could we throw it all in one pot, maybe, but I prefer having my savings in my account just as it's been for most of my adult life. It's not because I do not trust DH or have some secret stash--it is because I like having that sense of independence and control over my funds and it helps me keep track of my own spending...plus I just don't like the idea of "allowances." (i.e. this is my personal style). It is not a static amount--a good piece of it goes to expenses and large joint purchases as stated earlier, but nevertheless this set up works well for us (even though DH can go either way). I personally think it makes financial sense to have one's own account and some savings even after marriage (and absolutely before!).. But that's just my opinion and style. Just wanted to clarlify that it doesn't have to be looked at as "dangerous."

 

[monkeyprincess]

Look, I don''t want to argue. I never said having a separate account is dangerous. I said the ATTITUDE that the money in my account is mine/your debts are yours/those are his expenses and not mine is the dangerous part. To me, pooling our income and resources is part of becoming a couple, so we will be keeping most of our money in joint accounts. My future husband and I are both professionals and make comfortable livings. I''m a very independent person and always have been. The fact that we will be keeping our money mostly in a joint account does not make me less independent. We will make our financial decisions together. You do not need to justify your position to me. If that is what works for you, great.

 

[LilyKat]

We''re in agreement that:

- before marriage = separate accounts.
- after marriage = everything becomes joint. Accounts, savings - everything.

Personally, I feel marriage is a joining together and sharing of everything we have - and that includes money. I trust my fiance to be responsible with our money (or I wouldn''t be marrying him!) But then, we aren''t the type to spend a lot on ourselves or buy each other surprise gifts - so it''s not much of an issue.

Do whatever works for you. You can always change it later if you want.

 

[Tuckins1]

Separate until we were married, then put it all together. Of course, we both have similar attitudes about saving and spending. I would not have been comfortable with it if I wasn''t feeling safe and secure with his spending habits.

 

[Haven]

We had separate accounts until we married, and we''ve had joint accounts since.

It works for us. We just naturally view everything we have, owe, and own as ours, so there''s no point in divvying up our incomes into separate accounts. For us, there is no "mine" and "yours"--it is all ours.

I know couple who successfully have separate accounts throughout marriage, and those who successfully keep joint accounts. You''ll figure out what works best for you once you get there. We live pretty far below our means, so I think that makes money concerns much easier for us, as well.

 

[cally]

The boyfriend and I have separate accounts... we have split expenses pretty evenly, and everyone is in charge of their own thing- he with his debt and utilities, me with my debt and rent. That being said, money is always "shiftable," if that makes sense- for whoever needs what when. It just makes more sense to me to keep things separate.

I can''t really see changing it too much with marriage, because while everything would become "ours," and affect each other equally, this system just seems to work best for us. I feel like if it pooled, then one person would have to be "in charge" of everything, and then that one person (especially if it were me...) would become resentful over the responsibility.

But I''m all for whatever works for everyone and causes the fewest arguments. Lol.

 

[JSM]

Before we were married, I had grand plans of having three accounts - his, hers, and joint. I thought it would be a great way to keep our own independence while paying the bills from a joint account.

As it turns out, everything we make goes into one account.

We are living on a fairly tight budget at the moment, so we know how much we have for ''extras'', and spend accordingly. Neither of us are huge savers, but at the same time, we aren''t huge spenders either. We talk about possible larger purchases, and save as much as possible for future plans. He knows that some of his money is going towards my student loans, but I''m the one who came into the marriage with the awesome credit score, so we''re even.

It works for us, but I could absolutely see why it won''t work for everyone. We think of it as ''our'' money. We didn''t buy Christmas gifts for each other because it just felt weird, so we decided on a joint large(r) purchase instead. There is no right way to do it, so just do what works in your relationship. Bottom line is LOTS of communication. Just because I write the checks doesn''t mean the checkbook isn''t available for him to see at any time.

 

[slangofoil]

We don''t live together but I know when we get married we''ll definitely have joint checking/savings/credit cards. I would like us to each have our own checking accounts for use throughout the year for things like buying presents for each other. I don''t want to log into the online banking and see exactly when and where he bought me a present! I''d imagine a fairly small amount of money will go into those accounts monthly, directly from our joint one. We''ll both always know how much is in each account.

I asked him recently who he thought you handle paying the bills and he pointed right at me, lol. It''s funny because he''s the mathematically oriented one and I can''t do simple addition without a calculator. But I am the detail-oriented, obsessive-compulsive one.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/20/2010 9:33:20 PM
Author: slangofoil
We don''t live together but I know when we get married we''ll definitely have joint checking/savings/credit cards. I would like us to each have our own checking accounts for use throughout the year for things like buying presents for each other. I don''t want to log into the online banking and see exactly when and where he bought me a present! I''d imagine a fairly small amount of money will go into those accounts monthly, directly from our joint one. We''ll both always know how much is in each account.

I asked him recently who he thought you handle paying the bills and he pointed right at me, lol. It''s funny because he''s the mathematically oriented one and I can''t do simple addition without a calculator. But I am the detail-oriented, obsessive-compulsive one.

let the woman handle his money?

 

[slangofoil]

Date: 2/21/2010 1:55:55 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 2/20/2010 9:33:20 PM

Author: slangofoil

We don''t live together but I know when we get married we''ll definitely have joint checking/savings/credit cards. I would like us to each have our own checking accounts for use throughout the year for things like buying presents for each other. I don''t want to log into the online banking and see exactly when and where he bought me a present! I''d imagine a fairly small amount of money will go into those accounts monthly, directly from our joint one. We''ll both always know how much is in each account.


I asked him recently who he thought you handle paying the bills and he pointed right at me, lol. It''s funny because he''s the mathematically oriented one and I can''t do simple addition without a calculator. But I am the detail-oriented, obsessive-compulsive one.

let the woman handle his money?

Oooh, I just realized that typo. Shoulda read "who he thought WOULD handle paying the bills".

But yeah, he''s not so good with details and doing stuff on time. Better all around if I have total control. Mwahaha!