Just for discussion: how important is the perfect engagement?

[caribqueen]

I''d say it''s more important for my BF. It''s a guy thing. For me, being in my 30''s having known him for almost 8 years, dated for 3 of them, I''m over the whole fairytale thing (way over it) and just want to be engaged and married. Plus many of my friends are in their late 30s and some in their 40''s and a good amount aren''t even married. So there really is no desire to have this story to share. But I do acknowledge and respect that it''s important to my BF. So long as my BF doesn''t do it anywhere public (he knows already) and it actually happens, is what I''m looking forward to.

 

[cnspotts]

It has to be perfect for the two of you, that''s all that really matters in the end. No matter how it happens there will be a story to tell.

Hubbs and I had both been briefly married before so we might have been a little more practical about those kinds of things this time. He gets amusement telling people that I proposed to him. That''s not exactly how it went.

He said something along the lines of "hey, would you mind moving up here?"
I said something about "sure, but only if we''re getting married." We lived 6 hours from each other, I had a good job, liked my life.
He siad "okay, plan a wedding."

And that''s the story of our proposal without all the details. Seven years later it''s worked out quite nicely. He''s my best friend, makes me laugh, I make him wonder plus now we''re together in the same house sharing a pretty great life together. Did I miss out on something, no.

 

[ringless]

It isn''t too important to me. Of course I want it to be somewhat memorable and "us", but he has already told me he knows how he is going to propose... when is the question!

 

[Octavia]

I never had a "dream proposal" and no preconceived notions of perfection. I think that my FI did a wonderful job, and he definitely put thought into it to make it right for us. I was standing in our bedroom closet and he didn't get down on one knee -- still "perfect" in my eyes. However, with hindsight there are a few things I would change, if I could. I was really crabby and tired that day, and was grumpy with him because he'd promised to do the dishes that day and hadn't. The proposal definitely lifted my spirits...but I wish I had been in a better mood because I feel bad that I was annoyed at him on the day he proposed. Also, we'd never discussed anything having to do with rings (I thought it was still too early, ha!) so the ring he chose wasn't what I would have chosen for myself. His reasoning behind choosing it was spot-on, though (simple, elegant, hard-wearing, won't get in my way) so it wasn't like he did a bad job...just that I'd never given him any specific direction.

I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say with this...I guess just that a proposal can be exactly right and wonderful while still not being perfect in every way.

 

[ksinger]

I had the perfect proposal, if anyone would call it that.

How mine "proposed". (envision: a week after beginning talking about adding on to the house - we''re in the backyard, measuring stuff...a little light flashes in my brain - hmmm....this seems awfully serious, this measuring the house for an addition, so I turn to him....and say) "Uh....I''m assuming we''re getting married..?" Him: "Well, DUH. I wouldn''t be talking about adding on to the house if we weren''t". Me: "Oh, well that''s good then. Just checking." (continue measuring)

Worked for me. But then at that time I had 27 years of back-story with this man, so it''s not as shocking as it might appear. We''ve never done anything even in an even remotely ordinary way...

 

[mrscushion]

I had a "dream" proposal that was beyond amazing -- but I didn''t expect it at all, and had he proposed at home over popcorn and a DVD or at the restaurant we go to almost every weekend, I would have been overjoyed just the same.

 

[idreamofcushions]

As long as it''s heart-felt and memorable, that''s all I can ask for. Oh, and there must be a camera nearby.

Must take pictures and post them asap!

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 3/18/2009 4:01:14 PM
Author: Octavia
I never had a ''dream proposal'' and no preconceived notions of perfection. I think that my FI did a wonderful job, and he definitely put thought into it to make it right for us. I was standing in our bedroom closet and he didn''t get down on one knee -- still ''perfect'' in my eyes. However, with hindsight there are a few things I would change, if I could. I was really crabby and tired that day, and was grumpy with him because he''d promised to do the dishes that day and hadn''t. The proposal definitely lifted my spirits...but I wish I had been in a better mood because I feel bad that I was annoyed at him on the day he proposed. Also, we''d never discussed anything having to do with rings (I thought it was still too early, ha!) so the ring he chose wasn''t what I would have chosen for myself. His reasoning behind choosing it was spot-on, though (simple, elegant, hard-wearing, won''t get in my way) so it wasn''t like he did a bad job...just that I''d never given him any specific direction.

I don''t know exactly what I''m trying to say with this...I guess just that a proposal can be exactly right and wonderful while still not being perfect in every way.

Your post made me laugh and feel guilty/sad at the same time! (I just hate it so much when I''m feeling grumpy with my SO.)
...I guess I love your post because it''s so real...thick and thin...clean dishes and dirty dishes...all the moments. That''s what it''s all about.