Just need to get this off my chest

[afreebird]

Edited. To the original poster, I'm sorry for stating my opinion so strongly on such an emotional issue for you. I have very old-school views on what being a man means, and I realize upon rereading my posts that I wrote things in an unkind way, without knowing the details of his unemployment. I hope you get your ring soon. I still say you should start a ring fund on your own.

 

[Indylady]

Edited. To the original poster, I'm sorry for stating my opinion so strongly on such an emotional issue for you. I have very old-school views on what being a man means, and I realize upon rereading my posts that I wrote things in an unkind way, without knowing the details of his unemployment. I hope you get your ring soon. I still say you should start a ring fund on your own.

Bahahaha!

Italia's signature comes to mind..

 

[Amys Bling]

i think afreebird may have initally spoke her mind and then realized it came across as harsh.

BUT i agree with this quote..

"It's a little strange to be crying over a ring. Rings shouldn't be the cause of tears, but I can certainly understand crying over the lack of ambition in your man to make you happy by gifting you with a ring, even before he was unemployed. That must hurt your feelings. If you can afford it, buy your own diamond. What's the difference? Would you really feel sentimental about a piece of jewelry you had to remind someone for ten years to buy for you? "

i think the key disappointment is that for the 8 years he was employed she thought he was saving for the ring he promised her when they first got engaged. Now being unemployed it seems like it is less likely financially but the 8 years she thought he was saving and to discover there was no ring at year 10 is definitely disheartening. that is the key here.

 

[Circe]

Wow, it's the tough love thread!

OP, I don't buying your own ring would solve much of anything, though I'm usually totally in favor of women doing for themselves. It sounds like this is less about the shiny, and more about wanting to feel appreciated by your husband, yes? If you have the cash to spare, I'd actually suggest going to see a marital counselor above buying a ring, just to try to get the two of you onto the same page about your emotions and how you feel about one another. Frankly, after two years of unemployment, which is hugely demoralizing, a little therapy just for your husband might not be the worst idea.

After that? I see married money as being in a common pot, anyway, so ... hopefully, once he sees how important this is to you, maybe he'll get on board with researching and hunting down something you'll really love, regardless of cost. First, though ... communicate.